Lazy guy who doesn't know how to write fanfics.

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You and Huang Xinghui have been friends since middle school. Basically growing up with each other. He was your first real friend and you both shared a sort of secret relationship that others couldn’t understand.

Though everyone around you kept telling you that Xinghui was in love with you.

The idea seemed ludicrous. Even when it was said to you at your all boys high school. Xinghui not having a girlfriend made perfect sense to you then because what girls would he talk to? You both spent time together so you knew his schedule perfectly.

Class, dorm room, lunch or dinner, and then his piano lessons. That’s about it. So you were a bit confused why the boys at your school kept teasing that he was your boyfriend. Not that there was anything wrong for boys to date… but you and Xinghui?

They were making things up.

Even when you finally graduated and were heading to university, you and Xinghui somehow managed to be dormmates. You were excited at the idea of being with someone you were already so comfortable with. Your mom had something else to say though.

“Just don’t cause too many issues for your next door neighbors. The walls aren’t thick y’know.”

“What do you mean? I make sure to keep my voice down while gaming.” You said as you packed up your gaming console to take to the university. Your back was turned to your mom so you couldn’t see the face she made.

She sighed. “(Name), I mean don’t have sex without taking into consideration your neighbors. I trust you and Xinghui are smarter than that.”

“What–?” You turned to face her, feeling your face warm up. “Who–? Why–? Who would I even be having sex with? I’m a proud virgin!” Your words tumbled out fast as you clutched your gaming console to your chest. “I’m saving it, yknow?”

“Right.” She muttered, raising an eyebrow. “Well my point still stands even if you don’t go all the way.”

“Ma, me and Xinghui are just friends.”

“Sure.” She patted your shoulder before continuing on with helping you pack.

“Isn’t it weird? My mom thought we were dating!” You sat down on the small couch in the center of the room. It was a semi large one. Xinghui’s bed was pressed against the back wall, his desk right beside it in front of the large window. While your bed was on the left wall—a high rise bed with your desk underneath it.

All things considered the room was a great size for the both of you.

Xinghui broke down one of the boxes he used to hold some of his things. The couch was facing the wall across from his bed so you couldn’t see his face. He didn’t respond at first. You were about to repeat yourself thinking he didn’t hear you when he finally did.

“My parents think so too.”

“What? Well what did you tell them?” You turned back to face him, watching as he placed the deconstructed box underneath his bed. His back still facing you.

“Mhm.” Was he said. You frowned and watched as he continued unpacking. Xinghui was a man of few words anyway so you weren’t too shocked whenever he didn’t answer a question of yours. You usually figured out what he meant by yourself anyway.

Huang Xinghui was a handsome guy but his personality of keeping silent when spoken to made him a bit hard to build relationships with. He had ‘cold’ eyes according to everyone else but you thought his eyes were quite lively. They spoke for him most of the time. Through his eyes you’d understand exactly what he was feeling or thinking.

So he had gotten into the habit of looking away.

You watched Xinghui continue unpacking–taking in his newish style. Now that you both didn’t need to wear uniforms anymore, you’d get to see him in regular clothing at school. He had a darker aesthetic. The only bright part about him was the small section of dyed blond hair from his bangs.

“What do you want for dinner?” Xinghui plugged in his phone to charge before finally turning over to face you. His face was neutral. When you looked him in the eye, you knew you missed your chance to read what he was feeling earlier.

A huff left you. Cheeky bastard.

“There’s a popular chicken place nearby. I heard they make great fried chicken.” You grinned. “It’s Saturday tomorrow so…” you wiggled your eyebrows, letting your words trail off.

Xinghui only shook his head.

After about two beers and an entire box of chicken fully devoured, you were stuffed. The laptop in front of you on the coffee table was playing some random movie you don’t remember choosing. It looked to be a horror movie though. You yawned and stretched out on the couch, almost slipping off.

Others would find eating chicken and drinking beer without talking, only the movie being the source of sound, to be uncomfortable. But you were used to sitting with your thoughts when it came to Xinghui. It was usually without any type of noise half the time.

So movies were welcomed.

You glanced over at Xinghui, wanting to ask if he remembered what movie this was when you noticed he was already staring at you. “Xinghui?” You blink and give him a slight smile. He was holding another beer in his hand but it was beginning to slip from his grasp. How many did he drink?

“Xinghui?” You reached over and grabbed the near empty bottle. When placing it with the other finished beer bottles, you realized there were over four other bottles next to your two. Your eyes widened slightly but you shook your head. It wasn’t the strangest thing–sometimes Xinghui drinks more than you.

A lot more.

Five in one night seemed excessive. You looked back at him only to flinch. He was closer, much closer. His nose brushed against yours and you couldn’t help but giggle at first. You blinked excessively at his long overgrown bangs teasing your cheeks. His breath smelled exactly like the cheap beer he bought.

“You ok?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

Xinghui hummed. “After two beers, you fell asleep for a few minutes.” He said.

“I did?” You tried thinking back but couldn’t really remember that. You were a lightweight but you didn’t think you were that much of a lightweight. “Sorry, I think the whole moving in tired me out.” You yawned.

“Mhm.”

“Let’s just head to bed, we can clean up in the morning.” You said, glancing at the mess on the coffee table. It wasn’t much but with you being so sleepy it felt like a whole mountain of work.

“(Name).”

“Hm?”

“I wanna kiss you.”

“What–?”

Suddenly you felt lips pressed against yours.

Huang Xinghui liked you.

For a while now apparently. Everyone was right. Perhaps you were the only one who was dumb enough to not realize it. But was it that strange to believe that your friend since forever was just that? A friend?

He had kissed you.

Three weeks ago.

And everything has been awkward ever since. For the first time in your life, Xinghui was avoiding you. That kiss changed everything. You remember not even kissing him back. Just staring straight at him—trying to understand what was happening.

When he pulled away and walked to his bedroom. Slamming the door shut.

The next day you tried to talk to him like normal but he ignored you. Pointedly so. Then he started making sure he practically never came across you. It was a feat. You wondered how he managed to never be home when you were home. Making sure you never crossed paths on campus.

You were miserable.

University wasn’t supposed to push you and Xinghui apart. It wasn’t like you even refused him. Even if you didn’t see him that way. He was a part of your life and you could never imagine one without him. You didn’t even have any other friends beside him.

Something your mom had constantly criticized. You always pushed those critiques away. Now you realized why she had them. You were essentially all alone without Xinghui. It was lonely.

Almost four weeks passed when you decided you couldn’t take it anymore.

Luckily you knew Xinghui’s schedule. He had told you before classes started. So in an effort to save your (only) friendship—you skipped class and waited outside his first class of the day. Ancient Chinese medicine.

A few minutes passed before Xinghui left the classroom, head down as he scrolled on his phone. You quickly jumped up from your waiting spot against the wall and sprinted over to him. Xinghui didn’t look up at first. His eyes narrowing at his phone before he seemed to finally feel your presence.

His eyes flickered over to you.

He quickly sprinted away without a word.

“Bastard.” You cursed to yourself as you followed after him. Xinghui was heading to his next class. Chemistry if you remember correctly. He was already sitting at a spot in the back of the room, right near the window. You entered the classroom without any hesitation and plopped down beside him.

“You can’t sit here.” Xinghui simply said.

“Why not?”

“It’s his seat.”

You glanced over to see a student walking over with a confused expression.

“Uh, are you a new student?” The guy asked. “This is my seat.”

“No,” you reached over and grabbed Xinghui’s arm, tugging him close to you. Xinghui stared at you with a shocked expression. “I’m trying to make things right with my friend but he’s been ignoring me. So I’m following him everywhere until he notices me.”

“Oh…”

“Can you cheer me on, Ge?” You pouted. Xinghui tried pulling his hand free but you only tightened your grip, resting your head on his shoulder.

The guy only shook his head. “It’s too early for this… good luck,” he sat down in the empty chair beside you.

You gave him a grateful smile before turning your attention to Xinghui. He was looking straight ahead. Jaw tightened. He tried once more to tug his hand free but you tightened your octopus-like grip on him.

“What do you want for dinner? We haven’t had dinner together in a while.” You asked.

He didn’t respond. Even as class went on, the professor seemingly paid you no mind—Xinghui’s jaw was tense the entire time. His gaze straight ahead. Fingers gripping tightly on his pen as he took notes.

Class ended. Xinghui made another attempt to pull his arm free that was met with resistance once again.

People began to file out of the classroom. You knew Xinghui didn’t have any more classes after this so he wasn’t in a rush to get anywhere. Xinghui didn’t move a second until the classroom was completely empty. He turned to face you.

His expression almost made you flinch. Never in your entire life had he ever looked at you like this. With such… anger. Contempt even. Why was he so angry? It wasn’t like you did anything.

“Are you finding this funny?” He whispered. His free hand reached over and grabbed your hand, squeezing it tightly. The pain caused you to wince and unintentionally release his arm. He pulled himself free and quickly stood up.

You stood up as well. “Funny? Nothing is funny right now, Xinghui. I’m confused about what happened to us.”

“Why are you confused? I confessed. You rejected me. There’s nothing else left to say.”

“So that means you’re going to throw away our friendship?”

“(Name), how dumb are you?”

You bristled at his tone.

“I never viewed you as a friend.” Xinghui’s words shook you to your core. But he continued on. “I loved you. And if you don’t want to date me, then why should I hurt myself and force a friendship I don’t care about?”

“Don’t… care about?”

Xinghui simply scoffed. “Once the lease is over, I’ll move out. You should make sure you find a roommate before then.”

Move out?

He’s going to leave you.

Permanently?

Xinghui grabbed his bag and moved to walk away but you quickly grabbed his arm. He tried tugging himself free. “What—?”

“No way! I don’t want you to ever leave my life.”

“Are you insane? Just how selfish are you to force me to still be your friend when I said I don’t want to be.”

Your lips pulled into a thin line. “If that’s selfish, then I don’t care. You can be selfish too in return.”

“How—?”

“You can ask for anything from me. Anything you want, I can’t refuse. Just…” your throat felt tight. Eyes beginning to burn. “Just continue being my friend. Please.”

It was quiet for a moment.

“Anything?” He whispered.

“Mhm.”

Xinghui stared at you. His eyes unreadable. It wasn’t an expression that you had seen before. He didn’t feel like your friend anymore.

“I wanna fuck you.”

There was no reason for why you were still a virgin. You never really dated. Never seeing the point. Xinghui was all you really needed. He was always there so you never saw the purpose in pursuing any connection outside of him.

Maybe that’s why you allowed for this to happen.

The reason why you would do anything to keep Xinghui in your life.

Why you were currently bent over the couch, getting fucked by Xinghui. There was no build up. No easing you into anything. You both walked home without saying a thing. The only sound being the door closing shut behind you. Xinghui had pushed you into the couch, pulling your pants down, and spitting into his hand.

He was nice enough to finger you open. It burned. Not a pleasant feeling really. He didn’t waste a moment before pushing inside of you. Officially taking your virginity. You squeezed your eyes shut, gripping tightly at the couch cushion as his hips slammed forward against your ass.

His cock stretched you full. Nothing in common with his fingers. It hardly prepared you for how big he was. You could feel his cock against your warm walls. The drag of his cock as he kept a fast consistent pace. He didn’t say a word.

It almost felt clinical.

But even then, you were a little glad he was your first. At least it went to someone you cared for. Just as fast as it started—it was over. Xinghui pulled out. Warm sticky cum dripped onto your lower back.

The sound of a zipper and rustling of jeans. That’s all you heard before footsteps pattering down the hallway.

You were all alone.

Everything went back to normal.

Or at least, you pretend it did. The next day Xinghui was in the kitchen. He almost looked shocked to see you. His eyes watching your every move. It felt like he was expecting you to be angry or something.

But why would you be?

You smiled at him, “did you eat breakfast yet? I’m gonna scramble some eggs.” He only stared at you as if you had grown two heads.

Things continued on like nothing even happened. Only for you though. You spoke to Xinghui as if the whole situation never happened. Not even that you had moved passed it. Xinghui, however, was struggling to do the same. You could tell.

He wasn’t normal like usual. His posture tense whenever you touched him. As if you were going to hit him. Which confused you. Why would you ever hurt him? Almost a month passed like this. You interacting with him like normal. While Xinghui grew confused by the day.

But it seemed he had a breaking point.

Your mom had stopped by to drop off some food. She could tell something was wrong.

“Are you… two okay?” She asked, just as she was ready to leave. Her eyes flickering between the both of you. “I know living together can raise problems but I hope you talk things out.” Her gaze pointedly turned to Xinghui.

“Mhm? We’re good! Great even.” You laughed, waving your mom’s worries off like it was unfounded. She hesitated but soon nodded her head. Deciding there was no purpose in prying. You waved her goodbye and closed the door behind her.

“We’re good?” Xinghui suddenly spoke.

You looked back at him. “Hm?”

“We’re ‘good?’ What are you talking about? We haven’t been good in almost three months.”

“What do you mean?”

“What—? (Name), haven’t you noticed the tension between us?” His eyes were wide. Perhaps the first time in awhile that you could see emotions in them that weren’t confusion. It was filled with hurt. “I… I took something from you in anger. I hurt you on purpose because I wanted to get back at you for rejecting me. Why haven’t you noticed that?”

You blinked.

A small smile formed on your lips. “Why are you acting like I didn’t know that?”

“Huh?”

You stepped forward. Hands reaching out as you grabbed Xinghui’s. His hands were bigger than yours. It had been forever since you touched him. A giddy laugh left you. “I know you did that to hurt me.” You looked up at him. “I don’t care. I asked for it. I wanted it. Anything to keep you with me.”

Xinghui stared at you. Really stared at you. He looked as if he was trying to comprehend what you were saying. Realizing just… how devoted you were to this ‘friendship’ with him. “They were right.” He whispered to himself.

“Who?”

He shook his head, “you want me in your life?”

“Yes.”

“Only me?”

“….yes.” You squeezed his hands. “No one else matters. No one can ever compare to you.”

Xinghui freed his hands. He reached over and gripped the back of your neck, fingers digging into your skin as he tugged you forward. “Then I can do whatever I want?”

“Mhm,” you let out a breathy laugh, lips parting into a smile. “Please. Anything to keep you in my life.”

A pained expression flickered on Xinghui’s face but it was gone before you could question it. He pulled you forward and captured your lips into a sneering kiss. It was the first time he’s kissed since that night.

This one was different. While the one that night was soft, almost nervous—this one was hungry. Xinghui knew what he wanted. And what he wanted was you.

You being his.

His free hand gripped pants, popping the button open. He pushed you back against the door. Your body banging against it from the force. Pain briefly shot through your back but his kiss distracted you from verbally out any pain. You struggled on what to do with your hands. They pressed against the door before you hesitantly reached out and placed them on Xinghui’s shoulders.

He swallowed every moan and whimper you let out into the kiss. His hand slipped into your boxers, grabbing a handful of your ass. Everything felt… different this time. It didn’t feel mechanical. This time you could really feel the hungry Xinghui felt for you.

He kissed you like he wanted to eat you. Your back arched off the door, eyes squeezing shut as you felt fingers tease your asshole. They were dry and unable to push in due to resistance. You finally pulled away from the kiss—needing to breathe.

You buried your face into Xinghui’s shoulders. Legs twitching. Xinghui didn’t say much. But that didn’t shock you. He was never much of a talker. The sound of him spitting caused you to flinch. Newly wet fingers pressed against your hole once more.

Like before he didn’t waste a second before slipping in two fingers. The stretch earned a pained gasp from you. However he was more gentle this time. His fingers slowly stretching you. Properly preparing you. A graze against a certain area caused you to moan. Pleasure shooting through your veins.

“What was that…?” You muttered into his shoulder. Xinghui didn’t answer. His free hand tightened its grip on your waist, stabilizing you.

He continued to stretch you. Occasionally brushing against the little spot that made you whimper. Your toes curled. Hands gripping tightly at his shoulders. Your cock dripped pre-cum onto the ground.

That was different as well.

Your body was actually reacting this time around.

Xinghui suddenly flipped you around, pressing your face right into the door. One hand held the back of your head while the other gripped your waist. You shuddered at his forcefulness. Hands uselessly gripping at the door.

“Are you going to wear a condom this time?” You whispered.

“Why should I? I’ll be the only man who gets to fuck you anyway.”

You didn’t know why your cock twitched at his words.

Xinghui wasn’t slow. Perhaps deciding he was kind enough to properly stretch you out. He thrust his cock inside of you without warning. A loud cry leaving you at the sudden action. His hand tightened its grip on your waist to keep you still.

His hips slammed into your ass. The sound of skin slapping together filled the hallway. Short quick moans left you in tandem with his thrusts. Your eyes were threatening to roll back. It was hard for you to even keep your body up.

If Xinghui wasn’t holding you up, you were sure you would’ve fallen down by now.

Only a second later and you felt your stomach tighten. A pain whimper leaving you as you came. Cum dripped onto the floor but Xinghui didn’t let up. In fact you felt as if his thrusts had gotten faster. More brutal.

“Xinghui, s…slow down.” You reached back to grab his hand on your waist. But he only picked up the pace. The silence you got in return made you whimper in response. He was chasing his own release. Uncaring of the overstimulation he was causing you.

It felt like forever. His thrusts pushing you further into the door. Neighbors would certainly complain about the noise in the morning. Your moans were louder as well. Cock hard once more, ready to cum again.

Another particularly hard thrust, he pulled your hips back, ass flushed against his hips—cum releasing inside you. Your legs twitched. Fingers pressed against the door as your cock came again as well. More watery than the first orgasm. Hot cum filled you inside. It felt gross but also oddly comforting.

Xinghui was really a part of you. Deep inside.

You sighed. At least now you could go relax and take a shower. You tried pushing yourself off the door when Xinghui forced you back against it. His body pressed against your own. Lips brushing against the tip of your ear.

“You want me to stay with you forever, yea?” He whispered.

“Yes…”

Hands slowly reached underneath your shirt. His hands felt hot against your skin. Gripping possessively at your body.

“Then I’ll need to have access to you.”

“Access?”

“Yes.” He shifted his hips. The drag of his cock against your sensitive walls earned a small gasp from you. “I’ll continue being your friend…. And you’ll let me fuck you whenever I want. Can you handle that?”

You glanced back at him. Eyes wide.

A smile formed on your lips.

“Yea, I can handle it.”

Xinghui was always told by others that you had a weird obsession over him. He didn’t see it. At least it didn’t really bother him back then. It didn’t seem serious. You just didn’t have any other friends and well neither did he really. None of them compared to you.

He had fallen for you but he knew deep down you didn’t feel the same.

But he was over it that night. He couldn’t take it anymore and just kissed you. When he pulled away he didn’t expect the look you had given him. One completely devoid of any emotion.

Just… blank.

Like you couldn’t even comprehend what he had just done. Like he genuinely ruined you. He hadn’t realized just how attached you were to him as a friend.

It angered him.

When it really should’ve worried him that you were this devoted to him. In a messed up way he wished your devotion was out of love. Not friendship.

He tried pushing you away. Even went as far as to take your virginity, believing you’d snap and kick him out. But you didn’t. You just… pretended everything was fine.

And in a way he tried to do the same but when you had lied to your mother he snapped. When presented with the reality that you were genuinely not okay. That your friendship with him had seemed to mess with your psyche—he should’ve nipped it in the bud. Should’ve called your mom and insist she take you to therapy… something.

He was happy to keep you as his.

With time he could always get you to fall in love with him.

You both only wanted the other even if the way you wanted each other wasn’t equal.

It was only you and him.

And it was going to stay that way.