Alexa Ann

My first born

My sweet boy

Just a perfect lil dude

At the same time

I’m growing another human being

The same womb

That nourished André

Is now a home to this new life

I hold space for them both

My heart grows

i want time to tick by

but i also want to take the time

who knows what'll happen

i just hope for the best outcome

thank You Lord

for healthy and full term baby

healthy mami

and healthy papi

in Jesus' name

i just hope you're a good person

that we do right by you

we wish so much for you

we pray so much for you

we love you

even with the kinda awkward introduction

but you're there

right where you're supposed to be

scared that something has already gone wrong

that there will be no heartbeat

that something will go wrong

again

i just want to let those fears out

put it out there

and let it go

thank You Lord

for healthy baby

healthy mami

and healthy papi chulo

missing my mom

finding the flaws

broken families

conservative generations

abraisive leadership styles

lack of leadership skills

faulty equipment

shitty bathrooms

nationalism

but i know i need to accept it

and love it

despite its flaws

it's still my community

my family

and we needa be there

ate cynthia + bro bo

our couple's therapist

lisa

ryan

I just hope that I can raise my kids to be good people

to give a shit

I don’t want bad things to happen to them

I don’t want them to do bad things

I want this baby growing inside me to be healthy and strong

to pull through

I want things to be okay

I want my body to do exactly what it needs to

I’m scared

I’m worried

I’m anxious

But I also have hope

I trust