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I have so many thoughts about Tanwa’s entire life philosophy being a coping mecanism
No honey, you didn’t stop your mom not because she was following her heart and had the right to do so, but because you were a child and had no idea what she was going to do — not to mention that when someone is actively suicidal, stopping them is not that simple.
And it was so painfully obvious that he was just trying to convince himself that he would allow everyone the right to leave him because, deep down, he couldn’t handle it. The only escape he found was to follow all his impulses and ignore the reality of the situation; and of course, telling himself that his mother left him because she followed her heart, just as he follows his heart, because everyone follows their heart or should start doing so. So yes, his philosophy of life was ultimately just a defense mechanism against his trauma and his own insecurities — hence the moral dilemma he finds himself facing in episode seven.
Because obviously, in reality, he couldn't prevent his mother's suicide because he was just a child and neither he nor anyone else knew her intentions, something he was never able to accept. But as for Trin, he knew very well what he was going to do if he found out about the protest, he knew Trin would be in danger; and he had the opportunity to take concrete action to prevent it.
Although his promise to Victor to hide the truth from Trin definitely played a part in his decision, I remain convinced that he would’ve done it even if he didn’t make that promise. Because after trying to warn Victor, he realized that he wasn’t taking him seriously — and that if he knew about the protest, Trin wouldn’t stay away and wouldn’t be able to do anything about it either, meaning Trin would still end up putting himself in danger trying to save Victor.
And faced with the very real risk that Trin was in danger, he decided that he couldn't let him go. He couldn't let Trin follow his heart, make his own choices, and thus choose to put himself in danger, especially since he had seen him break down in his arms due to his PTSD: in his eyes, he couldn't tell him the truth because he knew that Trin would rush to the protest and not only suffer because of his trauma again, but also risk being seriously hurt or worse. And he couldn't risk losing him.
For all these reasons, it seems to me that he promised to hide the truth from Trin so easily, even though he knew it was wrong, because he had already made that decision when Victor asked.
It’s so sad to think that if Trin had died in the protest, Tanwa would’ve had to relive his trauma of losing his mother, but since it was Victor who died, it’s Trin who had to relive his own trauma — and they both suffered so much.
This is why I think this was one of the rare times where the time skip was enjoyable because it wasn’t about an unnecessary break up due to a simple misunderstanding that could’ve been resolved through communication — communication wouldn’t have been enough because forgiving, just like grieving, is a long process. The separation was necessary for both of them to heal without falling into codependency (as to not replace an unhealthy coping mecanism with another, if you will.)
Because sure, Trin and Tanwa make each other happy. At first, when Trin mentioned having depression in the third episode, I assumed it was because of his bisexual awakening: maybe he was getting depressed because of it, because he thought something was wrong with him (which is scary and depressing, obviously), or because him trying to repress who he really is led him to depression — both things aren’t mutually exclusive. Maybe he even thought his attraction to the same sex was a comorbidity to his depression, because back then it was presented as a mental illness. But then it appeared clear to me that most likely already depressed long before that — as a comorbidity (for real, this time) to his PTSD — and that his sexuality crisis made things worse. But I digress, the point is that he tended to always look stressed out and/or sad, especially when he’s alone.
But he visibly relaxes and becomes happier when he’s with Tanwa. On the other hand, we see Tanwa drink and smoke less while he’s in a relationship with Trin (which is why it is tempting to assume that he his in pain in the last episode exclusively because of Trin.) They are happy together because they’re in love, but sometimes love isn’t enough.
Trin needed to make peace with what happened and time to grieve; and Tanwa needed to learn how to handle being left to be able to have an healthy, non-codependent relationship in which he could be open about his own feelings. I won’t get too much into it because I’ve already talked about it in previous posts, but what’s important is that they both had deeply rooted issues and given the context, staying together while trying to solve these issues would’ve been counterproductive: to name just one thing, how could Tanwa learn how to not be codependent if he and the person toward whom he is codependent were clinging onto each other ?
Absolutely yes, you're right, Tanwa was already seriously mentally unwell before he ever met Trin and Trin was also suffering with depression and ptsd after the death of Claire.
I think he tried to excuse his feelings for Tanwa as being a result of depression, partly because he was still coming to terms with it but also because he could never have told his uncle that he was concerned he was having homosexual feelings. (The irony of him being afraid to come out to his closeted uncle is not lost on me 🥲)
We see Tanwa time and again reaching out to Trin, craving his attention and yet at the same time he is afraid of his own feelings, always pulling away when things start to get too real.
Tanwa pursues a hedonistic lifestyle to cope with his own instability while Trin develops obsessive behaviours and strict routines to manage his.
Tanwa is coming apart at the seams and seems to relish the state of chaos it creates in him while Trin is buttoning himself up to extremes to prevent the unravelling that is always threatening to happen within him.
Two broken individuals who see something in each other, a recognition beyond words.
Trin is the thing Tanwa both desperately wants and yet fears, someone to love and be loved by. Trin is Tanwa's moon, I think the moment he laid eyes on Trin, Tanwa was captivated by his beauty of course but he also saw something in Trin that reminded him of his mother. A brittle sadness that Tanwa was immediately compelled to try and banish. So much so that he even follows him from hotel grand paradiso. Unhinged behaviour 😆
Tanwa is Trin's sunshine, his world is instantly brightened by being around him. Even at their first meeting, bemused as he is by this stranger stalking him, there is still something there in the way he glances across at Tanwa, a spark of interest, a lingering gaze. Tanwa forces Trin to literally and emotionally unbutton himself, to relax, to smile, to laugh.
Love distracts both of them from their own mental health issues but love isn't always enough and we see it in the way they unintentionally hurt each other. Perhaps if things had gone differently and Victor had survived they may even have had different problems eventually causing a wall between them. Tanwa's commitment issues returning and him pushing Trin away again or Trin's skittishness about being openly affectionate causing Tanwa to feel rejected etc...
They each needed time to heal and reflect which the time skip does give them although I do think that Trin was still very much a sad boy living in Paris until his reunion with Tanwa 🥹
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"The violence the state unleashed on the students that day was the act of a tail-tucked mutt, who succumbed to its own chicanery. Whenever its power is challenged, the state falls back on the same tired means- crushing truth with guns, silencing opposing voices with blood and branding it peace and order. But no matter how hard they try to bury it, truth rising, resounding like a bell's toll. And no arsenal in the world can put an end to our struggle for freedom."
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An understanding of the traditional Thai attitudes towards Homosexuality
I see a lot of discussions prompted by Shine the Series and especially towards the conclusion of the series so I thought it might be helpful to share this extract from 'First Queer Voices in Thailand,' by Peter A Jackson.
His book focuses on the attitudes held in the 1970's and 80's but would still apply to the late 1960's when Shine is set.
I hope that sharing this might give some people a better understanding of the choices that characters like Krailert, Naran, Trin and of course Dhevi and Dao all make within the series.
The following passage is talking specifically about men like Krailert, Trin and Naran who were considered "straight passing," and actually in that time they would have been considered heterosexual, especially if they were able to take a wife and fulfil societal norms as Krailert, Naran and Trin all had the potential to do.
At that time, men who were able to penetrate other men were considered to be "proper men," or "full men," as opposed to those who were on the receiving end. (Yes, Top and Bottom discourse has been around forever 😆) and if a man looked feminine or dressed as a woman (was trans) then they were labelled kathoey and were often ridiculed and abused. And men who slept with kathoey and fulfilled the role of "Top," often weren't considered gay at all. Only those who preferred to be penetrated or who were visibly perceived as not masculine were considered "fully gay."
There are many traditional Thai ways of referring to bisexuality which shows that idea people having both same sex experiences and heterosexual ones was not unusual and in an era where same sex friendships were considered more appropriate than mixing boys and girls, it is not surprising that for many, their first sexual experiences were with friends of the same sex and this was true of both men and women.
From First Thai Queer Stories
In understanding the place of homosexuality in the lives of masculine-identifiied Thai men…it is necessary to appreciate that the Thai heterosexual male is presented with three cultural models of masculine sexuality…he can, and should, have a chief wife (mia luang) to whom he has a long term social and economic commitment.
But if he is wealthy enough, he can have one or more, long-term lovers or “minor wives (mia noi), and he can also seek sexual gratification with a prostitute (sopheni).
In Thailand extramarital relations for heterosexual males have significant social tolerance, although not always approval, and can also include sexual relations with other men.
However, because homosexual relations are by definition extramarital, they are perceived as peripheral to the central focus of the family.
Indeed, to be acceptable within the traditional Thai sex/gender system, homosexual relations between gender normative males should remain secondary to a primary marital or de facto heterosexual (reproductive) relationship.
The operation of these values, in which homosexuality is tolerated so long as it remains marginalized, commonly leads both heterosexuals and homosexuals to perceive male homosexuality as being of a similar character to relations with a minor wife or prostitute. That is, the idea that a man could commit himself to a relationship with another man in the same way he commits himself to a wife is alien to the traditional Thai schema of masculinity.
Homosexual relations between men, if acknowledged, are generally seen as transient.
Nevertheless, so long as homosexuality remains on a level similar to relations with a prostitute or minor wife, and does not threaten the primary, reproductive relation with the chief wife, a Thai homosexual man’s masculine identity can often remain largely intact.
To summarise, traditional Thai male sex/gender roles have proved two main avenues for the expression of male homoeroticism, namely, placing homoerotic relations at the focus of a male’s sexual life, but thereby sacrificing masculinity and becoming a kathoey [here meaning a trans woman or an effeminate “non straight passing” male.]
Or, alternatively, marginalizing erotic relations with males and thus preserving masculinity. [Important to a man's status in Thai society]
On this latter point, there are three main strategies by which non-kathoey homosexual men in Thailand render their homoerotic relations peripheral, preserve their masculinity, and avoid the stigma of being labelled a kathoey. These strategies are:
1.Remaining unmarried but continuing to adhere to masculine behavioural norms. This often represents a purely apparent marginalization of homoeroticism involving obscuring a predominant homoerotic sex life behind a performance of heterosexual masculinity.
2. Keeping a homosexual lover in a position equivalent to the marginalised status of a minor wife and, at least nominally, keeping a wife at the centre of his social life; or
3. Keeping homoerotic contact with men at a level equivalent to heterosexual prostitution i.e., casual and fleeting.
None of the above strategies threatens the centrality of mariage or the family in a homosexual man’s life, and a Thai male who keeps his homoerotic contacts at the level of a minor wife or prostitution (i.e., casual sex) is considered capable of maintaining his responsibilities to his chief wife and children.
Indeed, male homosexuality kept within the bounds of one of the three above strategies is rarely an issue in Thailand.
Kraikert choosing to marry was considered not only acceptable but even preferable in the era the story takes place and Dhevi learning that he likes to sleep with men would not have made her assume they couldn't have a happy marriage with children and status and her clinging to their marital status in spite of everything would not be at all unusual to people living in that time even if it makes our hearts ache that Krailert and Naran couldn't escape off into the sunset together.
Congratulations to Shine for winning Best Series OST of the Year for 'Am I In Love' by Slot Machine at the Y Entertainment Awards 2025
And to Mile Phakphum for winning Leading Boys Love Star Of The Year for the role of Tanwa Chatbodi in Shine the series.
Mile made sure to thank his partner Apo in his acceptance speech, claiming to have stolen lots of tricks and techniques from him to improve his own performance.
Honestly though, he ate that role up in Shine. Tanwa is his most challenging role to date and he did a fantastic job.
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