Emí Alejándra

Like the dodo and the great auk, the Tasmanian tiger found a curious immortality as a global icon of extinction, more renowned for the tragedy of its death than for its life, about which little is known. In the words of the Tasmanian novelist Richard Flanagan, it became “a lost object of awe, one more symbol of our feckless ignorance and stupidity.”

But then something unexpected happened. Long after the accepted date of extinction, Tasmanians kept reporting that they’d seen the animal. There were hundreds of officially recorded sightings, plus many more that remained unofficial, spanning decades.

Recently, an 8-year-old Chinese boy walked approximately 3 miles (4,8 km) to his Zhuanshanbao Primary School in the township of Xinjie in Yunnan Province, China. In 16°F (-9°C) cold. To take an exam. After his trek went viral, people started contacting the school, trying to contribute in any way they could to improve learning conditions for him and other students.

Fu Heng, the headmaster of the primary school, could not believe his eyes. Upon arrival, his student had icicles instead of his hair and eyebrows, contrasting with his burning red cheeks. Heng snapped a picture of the little fellow, marking the beginning of this crazy story. The internet has dubbed him as “Ice Boy,” and soon the school has received more than $15,000 in donations, 20 heating equipment and 144 warm set of clothes.

“It was the first day of their final exams,” Heng said. “The temperatures dropped to minus nine degrees Celsius in about 30 minutes that morning.” The headmaster claimed the boy lives far away from the school. Heng also noted that he is considered as the “class clown”, constantly finding ways to make his 16 classmates die of laughter. It’s crazy to think the boy maintains a positive attitude, despite living in extreme poverty and spending most of the time with his sister and grandma only.

You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.

My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her.  She had passed out in her room and locked the door.  He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex.  He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”.  He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge.  I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking.  He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”.  Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report.  Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me.  Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison.  The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen. 

This was 14 years ago.  

Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can.  The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:

“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.”  I said I want extra mushrooms.

“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.”  I said I want onions.

She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.