POETICparadox

There are things you wanna say, Things I wanna say; Words I see swimming in your eyes, Words that float in the back of my mind; Letters at your fingertips when we talk, Letters my eyes skim over without seeing; Questions not letting you sleep, Questions bugging me to no end, About where this is going.

I’m not good. The last year was indescribably terrible. And the year before that was even worse. I’ve reached a point in my life where I just want to disappear into nothingness. I want to be nothing.

Have you ever been in the situation where you’ve been hiding the fact that you’re sad from everyone for a really long time and you’re out in public one day and a complete stranger asks if you’re okay? It’s kind of sad in a way because secretly you’ve wanted someone to notice you’re unhappy for a really long time… but when a complete stranger asks, you realize just how clearly it’s written on your face and you wonder why the people closest to you never seem to see it.