Alces Anonymoose

YOU GUYS IT’S DECEMBER 10TH YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS HAS BEEN IN MY QUEUE SINCE FEBRUARY

happy 2,102nd birthday to mark antony! the only reason we know his exact birth date two thousand years later is because after his death the senate officially cursed the day of his birth and we have calendar fragments saying january 14th is a Bad Day due to being antony’s birthday. and i think that’s beautiful

my fucking niece won’t stop crying god she’s such a fucking baby

How old is she

one and a half

one time i was at the vet’s office and i overheard two of the vets making fun of a cat for being named soul eater 

Gosh that’s suddenly making its way into my vocabulary

Ahem

Gay as FUCK

“Is she, you know, *makes vague gesture with hands* quite familiar with Sappho’s surviving poetry?”

After everything that happened in Ragnarok, imagine Thor hearing about Steve and Tony’s fight and being like “Really?! Thats why you all stopped working together?! Just get over it! I did! I’m still friends with Loki and he’s betrayed me three times since breakfast! This petty mortal shit is nothing!”

Now I feel I was cheated on Civil War

Steve: “Well, we disagreed about this big political thing, and I mean big - almost every country in the world was involved.” Thor: *nodding* “Right.” Steve: “So we started to fight, I mean really fight.  We each had about half a dozen friends backing us up.” Thor: *nodding* “Always best to bring your friends along” Steve: “And by the end, it was just me and Tony, and we… we really pounded each other…. no holding back.” Thor: *nodding* “The most honorable way to fight” Steve:  “So now we’re not friends anymore.” Thor: “… you lost me.”

i can almost guarantee he’s not the only one in that situation, too.

Literally everyone in the games industry desperately needs to unionize or strike or anything

When I’m married someday I want to be so in love that our kids are disgusted

If your “loving” relationship disgusts your kids then you’ve probably caused them trama from exposing them to your toxic relationship with your SO that you’re now rekindling in front of their faces and they hate you for it

max they mean in the lighthearted “eeeeeew moom” way not like fucking in front of them

I genuinely cannot comprehend how they came up with that paragraph

How is this website free

isn’t it weird how it’s already february but it’s also only february

I see this post every February and it always fucks me up

She sounds like the McElroy’s long lost sister

Our eyes are very good at seeing trees, and I’ve seen the moon many times. Where would they be?

OK, maybe your eyes are good at seeing trees that you’ve seen, but the moon probably has trees that you haven’t seen. I mean, think about it. All the trees you’ve ever seen in your life are trees that you have seen… for all you know, you could be completely blind to trees that you haven’t seen

Science is rad!

ao3′s orphaning option is cool and a good idea but mostly very fucking funny. i posted this work for fun when i was younger and i still want people to be able to come back to it if they liked it, but now im an adult professional and i dont want it attached to my name. whats the word for that? umm, anonymously posting? no. i want something that indicates i murdered this story’s parents 

So basically just….any other male-dominated story. But with the token female character removed then?

There are probably women in that world, they just avoiding Casey Affleck so they don’t get sexually harassed.