Lionheart

Just for that, I’m going to owl you a howler every night, my dearest brother. 

Likewise. And then I'm gonna hex your bed. And your stack of condoms.

It's so quiet.

I'd prefer silence over your voice anytime, brother.

T..That sounds like a b-better idea… 

Have you actually tried Butterbeer?

No kinder than I would expect anyone else to be.

That's quite an expectation that you have.

That's too bad, really.

Well you know what they say. Nothing wakes you up like swimming in just-above-subzero water.

Not really. Caffeine is still above everything for me.

I-I honestly can’t answer that. Ha. And no reason we should start being friends right?

Nope? I don't know. What's with the stuttering?

Mhmmm. Yes. And besides. I also need the cold. It would help me wake up.

Yeah, yeah, whatever you think necessary. For me, coffee would do.

Well if you’d care to know me, you’d know that I do care.

Give me a reason why I'd care to know you, Peakes, after what we've been through. Six years, never friends.

You d-don’t know me, Potter.

I've never claimed the otherwise, Peakes.

Yeah, I landed detention with the old hag for the rest of my time at Hogwarts, all for a few little pranks. Adults take things way too seriously.

Maybe you should try and get some... companions. I don't know how but everyone who learnt the tricks from my brother can get away with their pranks, most of the time. Not that I'm praising him or anything.

And since when ave you known me so well?

Just my observation.

The warming spell’s the least of my worries.

Oho, yes. I forgot I was speaking to a brainy.

I’m planning on just giving him back as soon as possible.

That's... very kind of you.

Well, okay, then. I'll have all the Butterbeer and you can drink your tea. How does that sound?

Yeah, that's if you've found it before I find a spell to turn you into a pair of fluffy sandals.

When I’m asleep?

That's quite a stupid answer. And I thought your brain had the capacity to understand the question.