Welcome to the inside of my brain

Hello Hello Hello! I’m not sure what I’m doing here but here I am. I may or may not post stuff here, idk yet but if you’re here you must have found me somehow 🤷

welcome and enjoy

I was doodling and decided to make my own fem version of @crystallizedtwilights barrel :) I hope y’all like it, I don’t draw often and I rarely ever share it but I wanted to put this one out there :)

so I’m staying at a college for a week for a “pre college experience” thing and I’m in a dorm room with 2 other people (3 of us in our room, 3 in the other with a conjoined bathroom so I guess technically 6 of us total) I only really talked to a girl in the conjoined room, but today I had my first conversation with one of the girls I sleep in the same room as.

Quickly some stuff about me: I’m diagnosed with ADHD, Generalized anxiety disorder and a panic disorder. I am also bisexual.

now this girl just moved here from Peru pretty recently and she seemed nice so at like 10:50pm on the third night of camp we struck up our first real conversation. It somehow turned into something about anxiety and then bisexuality and many other things, some examples of questions she asked me were:

“What is your orientation” “Can’t you control it?” “Are your parents old?” “Is it because of your home life?” “How do I refer to people with they pronouns?”

Towards the end She was like “I’m sorry for asking so many questions” and I responded with “nah it’s fine” because it’s people like her, the ones who actually try to understand things and not avoid or function with no clue that give me hope for this world

Im actually so happy she asked all those because I feel like she was actually trying to learn more. She literally said: “these are just things I feel like I should know”.

I think it’s important that people ask questions because how else are they supposed to learn, how else are we supposed to grow as people without asking questions.

The first person I fell in love with was named Mason, we were in elementary school and he was cute and we were friends. He had blue hair. I want my hair to be blue.

The second person I fell in love with was named Jake, he made me laugh and feel good about myself. He was kind. I wrote a story with him once. I love to write.

The third person I fell in love with was named Leah, she was the first real one. At the time she was a safe space and was the only place I could sleep. She let me rest on her. I don’t do that much anymore.

The fourth person I fell in love with was named Viv. She was a senior when I was a freshman. She was cool and loved everything spooky. I love horror movies.

The fifth and sixth people I fell in love with were named Will and Mary, they were the ones who made me laugh and cry all throughout my weeks away from home. While I may talk a lot more about one than the other, I truly love them both the same. They live far away from me. I want to travel the world

The seventh person I fell in love with was my best friend. It wasn’t the same type of love as the others but just as strong. While the others one day left he always stuck around. He is my safe space, my hairdresser, horror watcher, world traveler, and co-author of life

Love has come for me in many forms but no matter the type it has repeatedly changed me. While I may not have anything physical for all my loves I will always have the impact they have had on me.