alaire

　Pugsley had been dreading this whole gala, as he found himself sat at the main table with his family, with their sole focus being their unfinished feud that he barely knew about ― isolating him once more.

It was unlike Pugsley to dislike his family during his younger years, often times being able to spend actual quality time with each of his family members, ranging from his father, to his sister. Though, as time passed by, along with his own growth, it was inevitable for him to notice the way their parents seemed to have shifted their focus towards Wednesday.

It wasn’t as if they were outright neglecting him, though, he noticed the way that their parents were quick to rush up to Wednesday’s side whenever a new vision would occur, or whenever Wednesday was in need of information out them.

It caused a small rift between Pugsley and his family, his mind being able to make up a choice of whether to leave this gala that he’d already deemed stupid, although ― his mother had planned it for quite some time, leaving him no room to insult the party itself, seemingly just the fact that his boredom had taken over his mind for the time that he’s already spent on this party.

It wasn’t long until Pugsley found himself slipping away from the table near the entrance, quiet im his escape yet nonetheless ― his parents would never be able to notice his disappearance, once again. As if he were just a gust of wind passing by whenever his presence would leave the room. Felt, but never noticed.

He could only sigh both relieved, and disappointed as he toom a moment to look back at the table where he found his mother having a clearly serious talk with his grandmother once more. He couldn’t help but ponder for a moment, wondering if they would ever notice that his presence had already left the table, along with his figure that already rushed towards the gala’s doors, though ― he knew that his mother and grandmother would only have the same conversation that they’ve already had for the whole time that they’ve spent at the party. Along with that, with Wednesday’s disappearance on the other end of the table, he knew nonetheless that their father was already on the look out for his daughter that seemed to be disappearing the most often nowadays.

His pondering left him no answers as he finally makes his way out of the doors where he found barely any students having their own affairs that he currently could not care less about, with the small ache in his chest only continuing to grow as he felt a sense of irritation at the thought earlier.

Pugsley took off the Jester hat that he wore on his head, while he kept his head down. He felt rather stupid on his part as he had a look over waht he wore, feeling as if he had jinxed himself by wearing this costume before his thoughts are interrupted by a concerned voice that felt oddly familiar to him, causing him to immediately look up from where he stood before smiling slightly.

“Hey Pugsley, are you okay?” Eugene’s voice entered Pugsley’s ears as he held both the concern in his face, and his voice. Taking a moment to stop infront of Pugsley as he observed the state that Pugsley was in, clearly dejected as Pugsley could only sigh in response, almost unable to explain this feeling that he felt in his chest whenever he thought of the way that his family has grown ever since Wednesday had been enrolled to Nevermore, along with the fact that he had now joined his sister at the same school.

Though, he could only give Eugene his usual smiling, avoiding showing Eugene the dejected look that his expression once held before as he finally spoke up in a more cheery tone, “Yeah, it’s alright Eugene.” taking a moment to take a deep breath before making an additional joke in hopes of lightening up the mood, “Might just need new batteries you know!” along with a quiet chuckle as he zapped Eugene gently, clearly not meant burt him as they both chuckled about it.

A hint of suspicion could only be shown in the glint of Eugene’s eyes, however ― he hadn’t wanted to push any further, clearly giving wnough time for Pugsley to process his own feelings before he shares it with him. It was a situation that he once experienced before, therefore understanding the reasoning for Pugsley’s choice to not tell him, however, he still held hope for Pugsley to open up to him somehow, as he took one last look towards him before finally walking back towards the gala.

Pugsley couldn’t help but turn back to his gloomy persona afterwards though as he sighed, walking throughout the academy on his way to the graveyard around the forest ― an area he found himself being able to breath in. An area where he found isolation better than being around people who barely acknowledged his existence, ever since the first day that hed spent in Nevermore.

He couldn’t help but sit down on one of the rocks that sat idly on the ground, inbetween two graves of people he has never heard about, yet couldn’t help but get lost in. With his thoughts about his family, and the small ache in his chest continuing once more. There was a sense of resentment that he held for each of his family members for a numerous amount of reasons, though, hatred would never be something he would use to describe the feeling that he felt towards his family.

Minutes of silence pass him by, leaving him alone with his own thoughts as he found himself om his own, trying to figure out his own feelings about his family, slowly moving across about what he felt towards the school ― about everything. Though his older sister had always taught him to lock his heart up away, and forget about everything that the others tell them about their feelings, along with the fact that he should never show any signs of emotions ― “Emotions, the sign of weakness” his sister told him, as the memory came back to him, where he found the smaller version of him only being able to nod at his sisters words before it was all quickly interrupted by a shift in the air.

As quick as he felt the shift did he hearthe quiet rustling of the leaves that covered the whole ground throughout the forest, clearly signaling another presence where he was, leaving Pugsley both annoyed yet curious.

He hadn’t decided to speak out, clearly awaiting this other resence to reveal themselves as he continued to hear the gentle rustling of leaves, with the every crunch becoming more louder as the foot steps clearly got closer to his figure, though ― he stood his ground, continuing to await the introduction of this random presence before he hears a clearly out of breath person behind him.

Despite not knowing who this person may be, Pugsley takes it upon himself and turns around to find you breathless behind him, with a small radio in hand while you leaned closely against a tree behind you as you finally set the radio down, holding a hand upon your chest as you continue to take a moment to breath.

Pugsley couldn’t help but run towards your side, with the concern clear in his tone as he asks you, “Are you okay?” while holding you on your arm, with his other arm extended around you in hopes of helping you recover your balance, especially in your ball gown.

You couldn’t reply at the moment as you continue to take deep breaths at the moment, with Pugsley only hwlping you towards the rock where he once sat in, all the while taking the radio in his hand and leading you over to the rock before settling you down, giving you enough time to rest up as he sat besides you, continuing to help you.

You both sat next to each other for a moment before Pugsley felt you lean your head towards him, laying your head gently down on his shoulder as the silence filled the whole forest, with only your breathing being the only thing that Pugsley could hear at the moment, all the while he did his best to ignore the hasty beating of his heart that replaced the ache that he felt in his chest.

“You know, I think I’ve got you all memorized now.” You joked inbetween shaky breaths as you kept your head on top of Pugsley’s head, chuckling slightly, with the vibration being immediately felt by Pugsley whose cheeks could only turn this certain shade of red that could only be seen whenever it was against his skin. He rolled his eyes and huffed at your words jokingly, hearing the way you continued to chuckle while you spoke, “I was looking for my Jester, you know?”

It was quite bold of you to use that set of words, as Pugsley could only feel his cheeks heat up by what you said. Though he’d felt stupid in his costume, with his hat not even being on his head, but rather on his side ― he didn’t feel quite the best in his costume, and it was clear in the silence that followed by your comment. Though, the silence was soon replaced when you finally looked up towards and, and watched as his face quickly turned towards you, watching the way you examined the features of his face and gave a gentle smile before making a comment, “Such a handsome Jester, are you?” the compliment sending ‘moths in his stomache’ as his own saying goes.

“You could be a prince for all I know.” You jokingly added as you ruffled with Pugsley’s hair before standing up from where you sat down, keeping your gaze towards Pugsley who could only continue rolling his eyes while he kept his eyes on you, silent for a moment before speaking under his breath, “And you’re the most gorgeous princess I’ve ever seen.” with his gaze shifting towards the ball gown you wore, with the colours reflecting the same colours that his costume had, all the way to your face that held a gentle smile towards him, as you slowly extended your arm and offered him your hand.

It took him a moment to fully comprehend your action though, as he could only memorize the features on your face, as he has done before. He was still starstruck by the beauty that your face held, and he couldn’t help but stare at your face. Your gorgeous, gorgeous face.

Though his spacing out was cut short as he heard you speak up once more, with your hand still extended towards Pugsley did you finally speak up about the quiet comment that he made towards you, “Am I deaf or are you really whispering in a forest?” the joke causing both you and him to chuckle as he finally took your hand.

Your hand was warm, unlike his. He felt the difference quickly as you both spent a moment having your hands interlinked in that same position before you both sheepishly took your hands back and turned away from eachother for a moment, clearly both embarrased before Pugsley apologizes for his spacing out, taking a moment for you both to converse in things other than the gala, leaving you both in a state where yiu both could actually be comfortable telling each other about the random stories that happened throughout the week that you both haven’t spent together.

Though, the conversation was quickly interrupted as you finally remembered the reason for your search of Pugsley, with Pugsley immediately gaining a sense of curiousity watching the way you walked towards the radio that you had bought.

“Yes I have a radio on standby in my room.” You spoke so matter-of-factly, taking a moment for both of you to chuckle as the joke was clear with your tone, before you added along to the joke, “I mean, what can I say? I’m truly just old fashioned.” you took a moment to let your words sink in before a song started playing through the radio, just loud enough for you both to be able and have your own little party through the graveyard, though ― just quiet enough for it to go unnoticed by people who walked throughout the forest where the graveyard was set.

The song that boomed through the radio was ‘Good Old-Fashioned Lover boy’ by Queen, a song that you’ve spoken quite often about, and that Pugsley had taken too long to understand your reference before as you both danced to the lyrics. Though Pugsley had never been fond of the type of music that you listened to, he couldn’t help but find himself singing along with you. He understand that his knowledge of anything musical was limited, though ― he couldn’t help but learn the lyrics on his own, with the only way he was able to remember each one, was whemever you would listen to it alongside him every so often. Along with many other songs that have pretentiously been stuck onto his mind, after the many times that he’s heard it from you, or have heard you sing it to him.

Though, it wasn’t until ‘Disco’ from Surf Curse played through the radio did you have your most fun, as you took a moment to comprehend the fact that favourite song was currently playing. It was not only that though, as Pugsley smiled at the same time as you.

Pugsley had almost every songs you had on your mixtape memorized, though ― this was the one song that he found himself thoroughly memorized, after the amount of times he’s heard it through your headphones for most days, along with the fact that you’ve told almost everyome you knew in life that this had been your favourite song.

You couldn’t help but immediately dance to the music that continued to boom through the radio, with Pugsley only being able to watch you for a moment, as he watched the way your hair swayed along with your body to the beat of the song, along with the way you danced so carelessly, despite knowing that Pugsley was there, watching you. Watching you be effortlessly pretty as you danced to your favourite song.

“I love this song!” You spoke throughout the dance, taking a moment to look at Pugsley, who could only be described as a love struck teenage boy at the moment as he stared deeply at you, with the affection clear with his eyes as he could help but reply to your words in this quiet tone once more, “And I love you.” as the quiet tone that he always used would have usually left you confused once more, you couldn’t help but hear barely a glimpse of his words as you stopped in your tracks ― with the song continuing to play on the background, you couldn’t help but stare at Pugsley back, who looked both mortified and relieved about what he said.

“What?” You couldn’t help but ask out of disbelief. Though one would be confused at such an abrupt confession like this, you couldn’t help but only ask in disbelief as you took a slow step towards Pugsley, clearly afraid that he might do something irrational though, he only stays still where he stood, as the hesitation was clear in his expression before he turns to look back towards you once more, “I love you.”

“That’s odd..” You spoke quietly this time, taking amoment to look away from Pugsley as your cheeks had this faded red colour to it while you continued to step towards him, truly, it made him nervous at your reaction as he co templated on whatever he was able to do at the moment, or whatever you were about to say before you finally spoke once again, “Because I recall, me loving you aswell.”

Immediately melting the nervous expression out of Pugsley’s face as he couldn’t help but feel the warm embrace that you had given him without a warning, along with your wirds causing him to almost melt down right there where he currently stood. The reciprocation of his feelings wasn’t something that he expected, tonight of all nights as well.

Though, he could only return the embrace as he had his head laid on top of yours, giving you both enough time to settle in your feels as the song could only continue in the background, almost ending though ― it could not be the focus as you both had stayed still in your embrace, leaving the rest of the moment be background noise for just this minute as you both were hoping for the moment to last forever, as if you both were engraved in this specific time in the universe.

Minutes pass before you both could let go of eachother, clearly still giddy about what had just happened, yet, none of you spoke for a moment, with the silence and tension still clear between you both before the song in the radio had finally ended, entering a new song from your mixtape, however ― you couldn’t help but be the first to speak up, both in hopes of ending the silence between you both, and to hopefully destroy the awkward tension that was created between you both to be replaced by the light heartedness that you alway seemed to bring with you wherever you went.

“Disco pretty much has to be our song now.” You say while chuckling as you finally looked up at Pugsley once again who was still avoiding your gaze, yet couldn’t stop himself from smiling as it took him a moment before he was able to look at you and smile at your words, knowing the fact that you were still being genuine with your words despite the light hearted-ness of it.

“Whatever you want, mi amour.” Pugsley couldn’t help but finally say as he took a step towards you, leaving only inches inbetween you both before he leaned in closer and kissed your forehead, leaving you a flushed mess as you rolled your eyes and smacked his arm lightly, apologizing quickly afterwards as you both took a moment to sit down beside each other once more, with your head on top of Pugsley’s shoulder, his hands now interlocked with yours, along with your favourite songs playing on the background ― you truly couldn’t wish for anything better.

　During the dead of the night did Dustin find himself scrambling his way out of bed. His shuffling were muffled, though he was clearly trying his best to be quiet as he made his way towards the kitchen of his home.

It was merely another night filled with the nightmares that came with grief.

It had been a year since he held you in his arms, refusing to let you go even with the strength of all of his friends, begging him to come with them. To where protection would be given, to safety.

The protection and safety that wasn’t given to you, as he watched you become the sacrificial lamb for his safety. Your life, in exchange for his. All the while knowing that it would have always ended this way.

It was the nightmare that woke him up in the dead of the night, leaving him breathless wherever he laid. It was the kind of nightmare that he couldn’t escape, no matter how much he tried.

Neither could the others accept the truth. Though they were the first to drag Dustin away from your body, every drop of tear that left their eyes that day continued to scar them throughout their very journey. Though they would never regret protecting Dustin, the guilt they felt watching your body slowly disappear through the fog, without them being able to fully mourn and see the body of which was once alive, thriving, surviving.

The guilt of being unable to ever give you, nor your family the proper funeral they deserved. The same family that treated them as their own, although finding them quite the odd type of children ― they were family, they were treated as such. Yet still, their kindness was not repaid the way that the group had always wanted to do so.

Dustin winced at the memory, as he is once again reminded of the day he watched you swiftly move him away from the line of attack, with what’s supposedly hitting Dustin ― hitting you instead. With the group only being able to watch from afar, unable to make their move towards you, nor Dustin. The tears could only stream from their eyes slowly as they watched your figure fall flat onto the ground in such a swift motion, with even Dustin who could only be inches away from you, being unable to catch you falling figure, twitching slightly where you were now laid flat, with the pain of the hit directing itself to every partof your body, stopping your very body still.

Dustin was the first to scream. This high pitched scream that felt raw, mixed with the clear sound of grief slowly making it’s way to his clear voice as he shook and dropped to his knees, holding your dear body close as the wound that caused your very pain was covered gently by his hand. Applying gentle pressure on it, although you both knew that you would never be able to make it very far.

With a gash that deep, the others couldn’t but scream as well, as they watched your attacker move silently through the fog, as if observing the situation while they planned their attack. The view of Dustin holding your body close being the only clear thing on the moment, as the figure that had attacked you was clearly masked by the fog that continued to only worse by the moment, making the others huddle up before they ran straight for Dustin, with their intentions clear on their expressions as the tears on their cheeks only continued to stream down, all the while Dustin continued to apply pressure on your wound, calling the others for help as your head lay gently on top of his lap.

With a smile on your face, showing no signs of regret in your expression, you spoke with that gentle tone you always used when you spoke to Dustin, “Don’t you dare cry, Dustin.” as your gentle tone was mixed with a sense of light hearted-ness, your chuckle being cut off mid way as you coughed lightly. The blood spill from the corners of your mouth, as you watched Dustin tilt his head to look at you, the tears streaming lightly from his eyes, with very few drops dripping to a few areas of your face.

“You know I love you right?” You whispered under your breath, barely audible to anyone else but Dustin as he kept his eyes on you. With the others only continuing to run towards you both, though ― Dustin refused to take his eyes off you. You weren’t finished with your words, it was clear as a small smile formed across your lips, with your mouth opening slowly, finally whispering once more, “Until scientists find the end of the universe.” coughing very lightly along the end of your words as you blinked slowly, the examination of your eyes being clear as you looked at him with the last glimmer of your eyes ― all the while Dustin could only watch and scramble with his words as he started whispering under his breath, “No no no, please stay with me.”

His friends watched as they finally reached you both, your lifeless body that Dustin held against him as he continued sobbing. His grip on you becoming more tighter, with the others sobbing along with him, yet are unable to move at the moment as they tried their best to reach out.

Max was the first to react, as she kneeled down your body. You had both always been the closest friends, besides Dustin. She couldn’t help but be reminded of the memories that you both had spent together, either with the others, or just the both of you. As she was reminded once more, of the glimmer of hope that you always held in your eyes ― even if she had given up on it. You were always the one to bring hope back onto the game, despite the losses you’ve all recieved. You were the bridge between them, and hope.

The sound of rattling was quick to snap the others out of their thoughts, as they watched certain things being thrown through the air before they finally acted and got their hands on Dustin, who held an iron grip on your lifeless figure, clearly unable to let go as he refused the other’s help. The others were sobbing along with him, although they knew that they were still endangered ― having no choices left, they had continued to drag Dustin away from your corpse, until they have finally found a sense of safety, though never being able to recover their friend’s corpse. Your corpse.

A lot of people would say that time can heal, and that perhaps all Dustin needed was time. Maybe to forget about what had happened, or to maybe move on. Though, time only continued to ache, as Dustin found himself reliving the same few moments left that he had with you. The ache that came with remembering the way his friends dragged him away from your corpse, with the fog immediate settling in and covering your body’s view for sight.

Being unable to deal with, Dustin finds himself seething at the thought. Throwing his glass filled with water to the sink enough to be heard across the whole room, before finally making his way back to his room once more. The exhaustion clear in his eyes as he lays down on his bed, with your radio sat idly on the dresser besides his bed.

It was rather a more dreadful day in Hawkins for the group, as they found themselves huddled up in the middle of the forest where they had usually spent their lunches in, especually whenever they needed their time to plan.

The others had been handling your death more quiet, as the guilt continued to seep through their eyes whenever your name was mentioned during a conversation. Though, they couldn’t deny the way their grief held them together in some way, as Max and Dustin had been drawn closer to each other. Often times talking to each other about their memories with you, sometimes about the things they wish they’ve done during that time. It became a routine for the both of them to go to your grave every once in a while to tell you stories about their adventures, and about the progress that they’ve made towards defeating Vecna. Though, they spoke more often about their life.

The group was subjecting themselves to a day of fun, in hopes of reliveing the stress that they all held currently at the moment, all the while before Susie ― a girl that Dustin found himself slowly interacting with, and perhaps become even closer with. Their connection was quick to spark, as their interests were on par with each other, along with their intellectual interests aligning with each other. Susie had held this gentle smile in her face as she walked towards Dustin, greeting the group with a small wave and smile before speaking to Dustin about their plans some other weekend.

The group was quite fond of her, as they found her interacting with them as well, after  eing introduced by Dustin who seemed to have returned to a more calm state after they remembered the state he had been in during the time you had died. They understand how the grief had struck Dustin quite hard, as he continues to get his own nightmares ‘til this day, however ― they watched as Dustin slowly regained the spark that he once held with his actions, and they couldn’t help but be happy for him.

As they watched Susie and Dustin speak, they couldn’t help but watch Susie as she spoke and stood infront of Dustin. The little habits that she did with her hands as she spoke, and amiled quite brightly that reminded them of someone they were quite fond of.

As they spoke, Dustin gentlytook his bag and gently took out a new looking radio before handing it to Susie. The group couldn’t help but feel oddly reminiscent. As if they were watching a scene that they have watched before, as if the characters of the show that they were watching had been changed for another, leaving them dazed in a way as they huddled towards each other to talk about it.

Lucas decided to be the first to break the silence between the group, as he whispered quietly for only the group to hear, “Doesn’t she remind you of them?” as his eyes were quick to dartover to where Susie and Dustin stood, as they continued to talk to eachother about something.

“It’s like watching them, but with a different person all together.” Max was quick to chip in, leaning closely towards the boys, with her tone holding a sense of hostility in some way, all the while Will and Mike could only nod their heads and shift their gaze towards the two who had not yet stopped talking. Mike couldn’t help but sigh quietly, however, as he added to the discourse ― “Even all the way to her smile.”

For a moment, Susie glanced to the others, noticing the way they seemed to be looking ather oddly before she turned her gaze back to Dustin in a nervous way, sublty hinting over to his friends who were unaware that they had been seen by Susie.

Dustin finally towards his friends aswell, catching a glimpse of the odd look that their expressions held as they watched them both, before they were immediately replaced with sheepish and awkward smiles that the group couldn’t help but share, a hint of regret being clear in their eyes before they found Susie and Dustin walking towards them.

“What’s up with you guys?” Dustin spoke up while chuckling lightly, clearly suspicious of the group as they shook their heads and shrugged. He and Susie looked at each other for a moment, as they were clearly still suspicious before they shifted thwir gaze back to the group. With Max crossing her arms and looking away from the others, as the boys shared the same sheepish expression, avoiding Dustin and Susie’s gaze.

Max couldn’t help but whispered under her breath though, with only Will who stood next to her being able to hear her quiet words, “Same personality, different face.” causing the others to turn and look at her as she stood her ground, with her arms crossed. Though, Dustin could barely hear her words, little bits of it had clicked onto his mind, causing him to cough lightly once more. Turning the attention back on him, with Max finally turning her head to face him once again, his once happy expression turned both annoyed yet reminiscent at the same time.

“What was that?” Susie couldn’t help but speak up, unfortunately unaware of the thick tension that the group had formed with each other after Max’s comment. Dustin could only take a small glance at Max who gave him that look that he’d seen a million different times. He held his breath, before turning to look at Susie with his usual tired smile, attempting to stir the topic of the comversation to another, before Susie could turn his idea down.

Susie couldn’t help but pause for a moment, as the silence sat between them for quite some time. Her stare at Dustin was quite gentle, as she obeserved his face ― with his tired eyes, and his tired smile. It clicked slowly in her mind before he smile disappeared slightly, taking a moment to recover before it was spread back across her lips, along with a question, “Is it about them?” clearly stunning them for a moment as their eyes were quickly turned towards her when she spoke.

Dustin who was stood right infront of her couldn’t help but examine her features. It was certainly her smile that caught his attention, as his mind was transported back to the moments that he spent with you. The quesion was quite the blow towards him, as he could barely remember the last time he spent his time this close to you, though ― it wasn’t you.

It was Susie, who was able to hold the same smile that you held whenever you’d comfort the group, especially Dustin. It was the same smile that reminded them every moment that, everything would be okay, paired with a gentle caress om the back as you reassured them ― as you reassured him, that you would always be there to getthem.back up on their feet. You would always be there, until you weren’t.

“Them, as in ― your friend, right?” Susie continued with her words, immediately pulling Dustin back to reality as she paused with her words once more, this time turning towards the group who couldn’t evem look her in the eyes. Clearly avoiding her gaze as they couldn’t help but think about the words that she spoke, as it clearly took a toll on them. Though, she wasn’t fimished as she continued with her words, “The friend that you guys lost last year.” now holding a sense of guilt in her tone as she kept her eyes on the group, who continued to avoid her gaze.

Neither Dustin or the group could even construct  a proper response for her, as the silence only continued to stretch the whole time that they stood their in the forest. So she could only apologize for her ambush of words, clearly understanding the depth of the whole that you left int he group.

“Let’s not talk about them.” Max finally spoke after the long silence that seemed to have stretched on for eternity. Her eyes held that gentle glint in them that only came up whenever you were mentioned during a conversation, though it was quickly gone as she was the first to finally look towards Susie after the minutes of silence.

Susie could only nod at Max’s request as she took a gentle step back, with the loud crunching of the leaves caused by her shoes caught the group’s attention, along with Dustin as the group finally shifts their gaze towards her. The grief was clear in their gazes, something that Susie couldn’t deny, causing her to only apologize once more before she bid her goodbye to the whole group, taking the radio with her before she finally walked away from where the group had settled down in.

‘No ― our late friend.’ The group had thought, unbeknownst to them, that they held the same thought as each other as they watch the way the leaves softly crunched beneath every step that Susie took as she slowly dispper onto the distance towards their school.

There was another long silence that was shared between the group, as they could only stare on the group, unable to move. Thought they held a sense of guilt for the situation that happened with Susie, the group couldn’t help but remembering you.

All those memories that Lucas and Will chose to bury deep in their minds, all to avoid the grief that they held in their chests ― all to avoid remembering the fact that you were gone, and you would continue to be gone. To avoid remembering the fact that the one person that helped them build themselves together again was gone, and that support of them was gone. You were gone.

Mike found himself unable avoid the deep regret and guilt that he’s been holding every day since your death. Being unable to look himself in the mirror, as he found himself thinking about the many ways that he could have proctected you, that he could have saved you. About the way he should have done more, that he should have been more. You always told him that he would be able to do greater things in life, that he would always go far, yet ― he could barely keep you safe.

Eleven, who held the same regret and guilt that Mike had. Though you both had been apart for far longer than the times that you’ve shared, she understood the importance of your support to the group, as you’ve givem her the same support as the others recieved. Alomg with the fact that you’ve been the one to teach her about things that weren’t just about surviving ― but living. You taught her about living, not for others, but for herself.

But truly was Max still unable to face the fact that you had died, and had been dead, for a long time. She continued to speak to your grave as you were still alive, as if you were still listening to her, conversing with her like you always did. Often times did she borrow your radio from Dustin, as they took turns in taking care of it and bringing it around wherever they went. She would often times stare at her mix tapes as well, with half of the songs that she had being a gentle reminder of the person that you used to be ― the person that you were, to her. Your support, your love, and the relationship that you both had was what kept her grounded for half her life, almost causing her own mind to collapse when she found herself kneeling at your dead body, unable to have any tears form in her eyes as her chest couldn’t help but continue to ache.

Dustin couldn’t help but be the mixture of everyone’s emotions. Having buried the memory of holding your lifeless corpse, as your last words could only ring in his head, as if it was an echo that had been continuing on for every day spent without your presence. Living with the regret of being unable to protect himself, that led to your death. Knowing the only reason for your death, as a sacrifice that kept him safe, that kept him alive. Perhaps if he would have done better ― you would currently be with them, laughing at another stupid inside joke that had formed between the group. You would be alive. Every nightmare, along with every second that he spent in silence was another gentle reminder that your loud, and soft laugh would not be entering his ears once more. Another gentle reminder that half of his life was built with your pressence in it, revolving most of the things that Dustin enjoyed and and found joy in, around you.

But you were gone. With the group only being able to live with the haunting memory of you, and continue on with their lives until they’re able to listen to someone say your name without them having to go silent for moments on end.

　You and the rest of the cast had just wrapped up another filming session, whereas everyone had clearly been more tired than usual.

Though, Moosa and Isaac had invited you to this one Filipino - inspired restaurant close to where you were shooting that day. It was fairly new, as not many people have clearly heard about.

They both knew that you were Filipino, having it be one of your character’s characteristics―you had chosen to rather embrace it, rather than completely change your whole persona.

It was clearly one thing both the boys admired about you, as they asked you to teach them a few words in your language, or often times eat alongside your place, where you lived with your mother. Though you lived inside a decent apartment, where it wasn’t too small, nor was it too big. It had just enough space to fit you both, you and your mother. It was very often that some of the cast members had joined you in your apartment, often times only to be able and eat the dinner your mother had made, or to stream with you.

Before, the two would only ask to come to your house, having loved your mother’s cooking too much―you weren’t one to be selfish, as you enjoyed having them over, along with having their company to enjoy your mother’s amazing cooking.

However, this time, it seems that they had found the recent opening of this restaurant as your hand was immediately dragged by Moosa over the entrace of the restaurant, where the decorations outside the home had been clear to send a message.

Isaac followed behind you both, muttering a joke under his breath, before all three of you was quick to let out a laugh, before you all took a look around at the decorations.

It was merely December 6, so you understood the amount of christmas decorations gradually building up on restaurants, malls, and other places you often go to, although―the restaurant infront of you had clearly gone all out, with christmas lights covering almost every inch of the building.

After checking out the decorations, and not forgetting to take photo with the gingerbread hosue decoration that stood outside the restaurant―the three of you finally entered the restaurant, whereas, not many people had clearly been there, only a group of friends that seemed to have been merely talking, and an old sweet couple that sat in one of the windows seat, clearly having a great time as they ate their food.

Upon stepping in, a few of the teenagers from the group of friends took a moment to look up at the three of you, with two teenagers who’d been staring at you three with curiousity before thir eyes lit up in realization, and smiled kindly, clearly wanting to wave although avoiding to. The gesture was appreciated as you nodded with acknowledgement before the three of you finally walked towards one of the empty tables, sitting down and taking off your bags, before taking a look around inside the restaurant, whereas the decorations only seemed to continue, with hanging fairy lights through every corner and wall, along with a fairly tall christmas tree they had set up at the corner of the restaurant, the ginger bread design spreading through every wall―and often times hanging up from the ceiling, along with snowflakes and candy canes that varied in different sizes.

Immediately, Moosa couldn’t help but go and start rambling on about his day, and more often―about school, whereas you and Isaac could only relate, and laugh along with Moosa as he continued with his story. You and Isaac couldn’t help but share your own stories as you three awaited for the menu’s to come. It wasn’t a long wait, though perhaps it was clear to the three of you that their had been only a few people currently working. Though, you guys clearly hadn’t mind as all three of you continued to talk, while browsing theough the menu.

During this time, you had seen a few dishes that Moosa and Isaac had already tried and ate―courtesy of your mother, and so, they had decided to choose a few dishes that they hadn’t tried yet. Menudo had been Moosa’s choice, as it seemed like a dish that he was quite familiar with, although, couldn’t quite place it yet. Nonetheless, it was another dish that he hadn’t tried yet, though had seemed to be delicious, hence the reason he chose it. Though, Isaac had chosen Nilaga. It was one of your favourites, you wouldn’t deny, though hadn’t been your choice. Having grown up with most of the foods that they had chosen, you had decided to choose one of your favourites instead―your favourite being Sinigang.

Of course, the service was amazing. Your waiter had been speaking a few Tagalog, here and there, and you’ve honestly quite enjoyed it, along withs eeing the curious and confused looks that came with it from Moosa and Isaac. You had enjoyed keeping thwir curiousity up, as you even had  afull on Tagalog conversation with the waiter about the ingredients used to make your food, and she was rather quick to answer, in which was another thing you found quite charming, as it gave you quite an insight of what their amazing customer service.

It wasn’t long until your waiter had brought up your food, with the set up of your table being beautiful, although there were only three of you, the way their table’s were neatly decorated had impressed the three of you, although it wasn’t usually a thing that you had chosen to notice, the traditional Filipimo designs carved into the wood, along with the authentictiy of the dish being clear on the way it is presented―their efforts was unedeniable.

Though, the moment your waiter had walked away after listening to your concerns, Moosa and Isaac had immediately started taking a taste on their food―especially pairing them with the rice given in their plates. Though rice wasn’t usually included into their main meals of the day before, the moment that your mother had taught them how to eat rice along with their food, they had been more obessed with it than ever, pairing almost every food they ate with rice. You had taken a moment to watch them eat as they tried the Menudo, and the Nilaga, with both of them immediately getting burned, yet nonetheless loving the taste of it. You couldn’t help but laugh before finally eating, taking your time eating with the three foods that you three had ordered.

Thankfully, the servings that they had given you were perfect for only three people. The two were immediately full after finishing their food, acting all sluggish on their seats as they watched you finish your last bite of food, rolling their eyes and laughing alongside you as you make exggarated eating noises. You had finished the last bit of food that you three had ordered, as the serving had been carefully, and clearly been cooked perfectly only for the three of you.

You couldn’t help but take a deep breath and lean back on your chair as you heard the waiter’s foot steps aproach your table once again. You took a look around to see the fact that almost every in the restaurant had been gone. Though there was one teenager who stayed behind on their laptop, clearly in their own world as they tapped their day out in their laptop. Your focus could only shift back to the waiter who had placed down a menu infront of all three of you for desserts, with all of them being you favourite traditional dessrrts that you especially loved during the christmas season.

Moosa and Isaac’s mouths were clearly already watering as they stared at the photos of the supposedly desserts and immediately placing down their orders for, 1 Leche Flan, and 1 Mango Graham. However, you on the other hand had chosen just one serving of Halo-halo. Though it was your favourite, you had missed the immediate taste of milk, ube ice cream, and all of the other fruits and sweets that came with the sweet dessert. The waiter seemed more than happy to serve you and take your order as they immediataly took off after taking your order, leaving taking the menu along with them as they walked towards the back of the counter, clearly putting your order into the kitchen while they cleaned the front desk, playing a seasonal song throughout the restaurant, leaving the thtee of you to continue your talk about the filming sessions, and often times going over your school schedules.

It was in the middle of your argument with the both of them about another completely random thing wer your orders places into your table, immediately catching the attention of your three as you were quick to thank you the waiter who was quick to respond a welcome, while all tbree of you pulled your respective desserts towards you three.

“Oh my god, Leche Flan is my new favourite dessert. Ever.” Moosa was quick to comment as his exaggarated eating could probably be heard from across the room, while you three laughed through each bite you took.

Isaac couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the comment however, immediately responding―“You personally haven’t tried Mango Graham.” while you sat quietly and ate your Halo-Halo, occasionally laughing at some comment someone made while the two only continued to argue.

Moosa’s reaction was immediate as well, jokingly rolling his eyes back at Isaac before speaking once more―“And you haven’t even tried Leche Flan!” as he showed Isaac the piece of Leche Flan he had on his spoon, almost as if force feeding it to Isaac while he acted a sif he was avoiding it and laughing alongside both you and Moosa who could only laugh at the sight.

“I don’t need to! I know Mango Graham is clearly far more superior!” Isaac yelps out quietly as he takes the small plate where the Mango Graham is placed and now shoves his dessert towards Moosa who continues laughing, almost falling down his chair as he returned the favour by acting as if he were avoiding the food himself.

It wasn’t long ‘til the two turned to you for your own opinion, watching the way you ate your clearly melted Halo-Halo quietly on the side as you watched them both argue about the superior dessert, though, you hadn’t noticed their stares until they had finally spoken out your name, causing you to turn your head upwards, facing their glares at each other, while turning a fake smile towards you, making you snicker before coughing and straightening yourself.

“These kids have never tried Ice Scramble.” You jokingly muttered under your breath as your gaze shifted away from them, clearly stopping yourself from letting out a chuckle before you coughed once more and turning towards them, tilting your head slightly before shrugging and watching their faces light up like kids on christmas eve, clearly having beard your comment as their words were quick to ramble on towards you, “Oh my god, what’s Ice Scramble?” - “Now you have to take us to get that.” while you could only laugh at their astonished reactions before they finally went back to eating their respective dessert, while continuing their joking glare towards each other.

Though, the dessert war was quick to come to an end as the tbree of you finally finished eating your desserts, and finally paid. Even pttuing a large amount of tip as you all thanked the waiter and finally walked out the restaurant, whereas you found the sun was just about to set. All three of you took a moment to bid your goodbyes with eachother as you were the first to leave, with the bus stop passing your house was only a few walks away, though―before you could enter one of the bus that had just arrived, you had yelled out towards Moosa and Isaac, “No worries, one day i’ll take you both to try Ice Scramble!”

“Maybe next year!” You jokingly said, waving them another goodbye as you could hear their clearly loud groans although you wrere already far away from them. You could only chuckle once more, before finally yelling a goodbye once again, and finally entering the bus.

　Though the thin line between outcasts and ‘normies’ were clear, and standardized―it hadn’t stopped you from ultimately falling for one, deep.

You had met Eugene during one Jericho’s annual events that invited everyone across all town, normies or not.

Colourful lights filled the center of the town, whereas banners were stuck in every lamp post. The sound of laughter and speaking could be heard in every direction, though you had only promised yourself to check out the event before ultimately going home.

It hadn’t been long ‘til you found yourself lost inbetween the crowds, often being pushed around or just completely unaware of whatever was happening to your sorroundings.

It took quite some time before you were able to find an enclosed space, in which was located farther from the very center of the event where bands played their songs and the mixture of music and continuous laughter. Though the noises hadn’t stopped, certain sounds were slowly dying down as you had stumbled towards the quiet area.

You were stepping backwards in a slow pace, taking a moment to catch your breath before your back suddenly hit someone else’s. You were quick to be on your feet, afraid of who and whatever may have been lurking in the dark before you found a tall, lanky boy infront of you, who had his glasses slipping down his face due to the bump.

Though your fear had not vanished, you decided to approach the boy to, both apologize and to get a good look towards the boy. He was quick to respond, apologizing as well in this soft and quiet voice, as if afraid of speaking up―immediately replacing the fear you felt with guilt as you decided to ask him for his name, approaching him with the same gentle and soft tone that he had as he spoke to you.

It hadn’t taken long until you both had made yourself comfortable with eachother. Being able to get each other’s contact, and eventually just sitting down at that same enclosed space where you both bumped to eachother to be able and talk, as if you both had been closr friends for the longest time.

Not long though, did you find the sun going down. The sunset being a reminder of how long both you and Eugene had been talking. Though it had clearly been hours, it seems that every moment you’ve had with Eugene, though you’ve only met―felt like eternity. The type of eternity you would be able to enjoy, as long as it was spent with this one stranger you had only met, yet feel like have known for years. It was the kind of connection you could only feel once, nonetheless be able to.

Although the boundary had been set between you both, as Eugene mentions his own insecurity. He found being an outcast something to be proud of, he was sure of it―although, it was one of the reasons he found it hard to connect with those who hadn’t posessed the same abilities as him, or other outcasts. Often being thrown into the side, and recieving degrading insults and treatments, an insecurity was bound to form internally.

You could only face him, reaching out slowly, and taking his hand onto yours. Your touch was gentle, and cool to the touch―a feeling he was unfamiliar with, yet nonetheless felt comforting. Though you hadn’t even spoken, Eugene’s chest felt more light, as if a certain burdern that he’d held in his chest was slowly fleeing from his grasps as you reassured him that you would never hold his abilities against him. Nor would you ever make him feel as if he were lesser from you, just because he possessed abilities that could be seen as dangerous or what not.

It only took that for Eugene to look at you in another way, as your relationship only grew from that moment. You and Eugene only found yourself having your own daily routine, with daily messages about your days, and a new message sent every day and evening―though you both couldn’t see each other daily, your familiarity only continued to grow, as it did.

It took you both to get to your second year of highschool did he finally confess his own feelings towards you. It happened during a rainy day  where you both were walking through one of Jericho’s quiet paths, whereas you were bore were only sorrounded with a gentle breeze from the trees, and flowers that were quickly drenched in the waters. Eugene held the umbrella up in his hand, as you were distracted by your sorroundings, clearly finding the scenery comforting as the sound of the rain filled the silence between you both.

You both continued with your walk until you both decided to stop, and walk towards one of the waiting sheds that were placed conveniently in the middle of the forest, incase of the rain. The rain only grew harder from there, as if leaving you both in your own island―stranded in the middle of the forest, though, you hadn’t mind as you finally faced Eugene, after a certain amount of tine had passed.

You were both sat in each respective side’s edge, as if you both were too timid to sit close to each other―you could only face Eugene, whose cheeks were these soft hue of red, that differed from his usual gentle complexetion. Though you hadn’t realized it, with every moment spent with Eugene, you found yourself memorizing every single detail of his features. Along with the way his face had their own certain habits that you found endearing, whereas it differed from other’s normalized habits.

It wasn’t a quick confession, whereas others would’ve wished for it to be over sooner, causing them to confess in an immediate manner that would only left you more confused than you would’ve originally been―he only took a deep breath before even speaking, clearly avoiding rushing over to his actual confession as he finally face you, taking another moment to breath again before starting off his confession,

“So.. haha,” He spoke up, in that soft, and gentle tone he spoke to you the very first moment that you both met, as if reminiscing over that sound. His voice was quick to fill you ears as all you attention had been turned towards him, awaiting for his words, as the nervous expression on your face didn’t go unnoticed with Eugene.

He took a moment to chuckle quietly and reassure you that he had no malicious intent, nor had any intention to harm you in any way.  Though, the red hue that filled Eugene’s cheeks before, only grew slightly as he stumbled over his words, unable to speak for a moment before finally taking a moment to speak more clearly―“I think I like you.” as his voice could only go quieter, along with his eyes that couldn’t seem to look at you, clealry avoiding being able to look at your expression that was nothing short of both confusion and happiness.

The sounds of the rain falling was quick to fade into the background as Eugene still hadn’t look at you, with only his ears being able to hear the next phrase that had his heart almost imploding, “That’s funny because, I think I like you too.” while you smiled softly, tilting you head slightly as you watched Eugene’s head finally turn to look at you once more, the joy that he felt becoming more clear in his face as he was both clearly happy, yet in disbelief.

It had to take you to hug him that he finally realized that you had been telling the truth, and clearly reciprocating his feelings as you both embraced each other, unable to say any words that could describe the joy that filled you both―only being able to express it in the embrace that only got tighter every passing second.

“Nevermind, I think I love you.” Eugene had whispered under his breath as he was the first to finally break free from the embrace, taking a moment to stare at the beautiful smile that you had on your face, before taking a moment to cup your cheeks in both his hands, and kissing your forehead, as you continued to hold onto him. It was the moment that crystalized your relationship, and became a stape in your mind every waking moment.

Beautiful, that moment was, truly. Though as the days go by, and you both finally reach your second year in highschool―though you hadn’t expected much to change, it was imminent iny our relationship.

It had been a few weeks since the start of your second year, and your schedules could not have been more hectic. Outcast and non-outcast schedules were clearly not correlating, as you and Eugene found yourself shifting away from each other, in this one, slow paced moment.

Though your love for him had prevailed, as you had done your best in making plans, and often times even visiting Eugene in his school―despite being afraid of how some of the students may have treated you, nonetheless you had found far more kinder outcasts than ones that were uncivil, and what not, you found yourself being unable to find Eugene at the times whereas you visited him, or even just spoke to him.

You had even continued on with your daily messages, though, it hadn’t felt as he even wanted to even have a conversation with you. There were times where he blatantly refused to accept your calls, and gave his reasoning―and although they were hardly believable, you couldn’t help but feel guilty whenever you had jumped into certain conclusions.

The trust you had towards Eugene could not be spoken into words, nor could ever be described well enough, unelss you were one to truly feel it―and the loyalty you had, and hoped that Eugene reciprocated, was just another connection you both made with each other, that made you feel even more guilty whenever you doubt it.

It hadn’t made you feel any better whenever you and Eugene’s mutual friends had told you about the plans he made with his new friends, now gaining a sense of popularity wherever he came after, certain events that occured last school year.

You had taken it upon yourself to visit Eugene after a few days of being unable to contact each other, though you’ve made yourself believe that the only reasom that this may have happened is because of your hectic schedules, and the fact that both your schedules seem to have a clear disagreement―it was an excuse that you had made yourself for Eugene’s actions, along with yours, although, deep at the back of your mind―you couldn’t deny the possibility of Eugene just practically blowing you off for the new friends he made.

As you made your way towards his dorm, you had bumped into Pugsley―his roommate, in which you were quite fond of, as you both had instantly clicked and became friends when you both first met. With a knack for mystery, and the thrill of it―you both were quick to start talking, along with the way you slid your plan to surprise Eugene into the conversation as Pugsley could only roll his eyes, and make fun of you both. You had reminded him that he had his own thing sith Agnes as well, making fun of him back as his face flushed and jokingly pushed you to side while your laughters could only fill the empty hallway leading up to their shared dorm, where the laughter from inside the room slowly got a lot more rowdy, being able to be heard from a few steps away, although―both you and Pugsley could only shrug and look at eachother before finally taking a step and had your hand hover over the doorknob before you heard voices speaking from inside the room.

“So you’re actually serious with her?” A voice spoke up from inside of the room, as the doubt was clear in their tone, along with the sound of chuckles once more, while Eugene’s laugh that you had memorized, down to the emotions that were tied to it―you heard it, the nervous undertone that his chuckle held while he responded rather quickly, though with hesitation, “I mean..”

It made your heart sink for a moment, hearing that hesitation in Eugene’s voice as he trailed off with his words, his friends inside clesrly getting louder as the laughter just continued to grow once more, while you now took your hand back, almost taking a step back as Pugsley helped you stay balanced where you stood, with a mixture of concern, anger, and guilt in his expression―though he kept silent, as if he was hesitating to say something.

“Look, they’re a normie―they probably don’t even understand you.” Another voice spoke up from a different side of the room this time, a clear distinct one from the voice before who quuckly spoke up afterwards, “He’s right, Eugene. I mean, you’re like, out of her league. You could do so much better.” that firm tone spoke up once again, although his words sounded almost humorous, the underlying tone of seriousness could be heard, though hidden well, it was clear with his past comments what he’d been trying to say.

You had almost fallen on your back as you tried to take a step back, a sudden yelp being able to be heard by the people behind the door as Pugsley helped you stay on your feet, leading you away from the door where Eugene had taken a moment to stand up and go towards the door, all while he heard his friends speaking behind him, choosing pay attention more in their past conversation as Eugene slowly opened the door of his dorm, and was greeted with the sight of Pugsley helping you walk away from the dorm, where you both were already in the middle of the hallway.

Your head slowly started aching, along with the sudden pang in your chest that made you weak. Although it may have been exaggarated on your part, you couldn’t help but feel the continuous ache consume you as Pugsley had done his best to keep you up, as he led you towards the clinic, although you weren’t a student, he had still chosen to try and get you any sort of help he could.

Eugene had watched you, the feeling of guilt quickly sinking into him as his mind was now filled with the fact that you had heard his friends words―his words. Along with the reminder that he had chosen to hesitate at that moment, as if hesitating on you―a thing that he had promised towards himself that he would never do, an oathe towards you that he promised he’d cherish.

Though his choices had always been filled with hesitation, he couldn’t help but act on his instincts for once. Running towards where you and Pugsley were walking, as you were both were about to turn towards a corner, for once he sprinted. Barely catching up towards you both before he held out his hand and turned you around gently to face him, as Pugsley was clearly filled with a certain emotion that even Eugene couldn’t place.

“Wait please―please listen to me, I swea―” His words were quickly cut off by Pugsley, who’d taken you away from Eugene, and immediately moving himself inbetween you both, as his face was now clear with a sense of anger that rooted deep. Eugene wanted to take you away for a moment, to explain what he meant by his hesitation, to reassure you that it was all humour, that it wasn’t supposed to be anything real―but it was more clear, you walked towards the clinic of the academy, with Pugsley following behins you, continuing to guide you as your head only spun now, as if for no apparent reason, though you couldnt help but have your own reason to have your head hurting, to have your chest aching.

　It was rather a cloudy day, with barely any sunlight passing through the court yard where only you and Wednesday sat in one of the tables. Seemingly with no other students in sight, you sat there so casually.

Flipping slowly through a book, paying no mind to Wednesday as her gaze were fixated on you. With her eyes clung onto you as if you were bound to disappear if she were ever to look away, a quiet hum could be heard escaping your lips. Immediately catching Wednesday’s eyes as her eyes were quick to shift towards your lips that slowly parted as you spoke, “It’s been awhile.” with that same gentle voice that Wednesday could recognize anywhere.

The voice she spent her every waking moment memorizing, as if afraid that it would slip her mind the moment she forgets. Only leaving her the faint memory of what used to be her favourite sound.

“It’s roughly only been 122 days without you.” Wednesday’s expression could only stay blank, along with her efforts of avoiding eye contact with you as she felt your pace pick up, clearly focusing on the book that was sat neatly ontop of the table.

What could only be called a sigh escaped your lips once more, taking a moment to stop yourself from reading. Although Wednesday refused to face you, your soft gaze could be felt by Wednesday from a mile away. You felt so close to her, you felt reachable once again. Wednesday wanted to reach out for you, she wanted to speak of words she knew nothing of, all because it felt true to her―yet her lips remained sealed.

“What’s another day without me?” You spoke in that light hearted tone Wednesday knew you only used whenever you both would joke around. It was maybe even the last tone she heard from you. Though, she still couldn’t bear to look towards your direction. She could barely focus on anything else other than your voice, she hadn’t noticed the slow darkening of the sky―with only the soft flickering of the lanterns around campus giving light to the empty courtyard where you both sat.

Wednesday heard you chuckle softly, as if you were trying to ease the tension that sat between you both―as you always did. “You could do it before you met me, what’s the difference?” You added onto your words, your fingers slipping it’s way back inbetween pages of your book.

“That’s different―” Wednesday’s words were quickly cut off by your own reply, as if you’d already anticipated her words before she’s even spoken, “Different how, Wednesday?” as you spoke her name so calmly. It left it’s mark on Wednesday’s chest, remembering the last time she heard you call out her name. It brought back the same ache that came with that memory, as her mind urged her to finally turn to you. To face you the way you currently did.

Wednesday composed persona was quick to disappear, with her head now down, as if she refused to look out in the world anymore. Vulnerability had never been easy for her, but the way your presence could easily bring her down to her knees in mere seconds said otherwise.

She could speak no words. Her witty remarks were long gone. Only the silence of her unsaid thoughts were left between you both as your pace picked up. With your words continuing to enter Wednesday’s ears, “How are the others?” leaving space for your question before, although giving Wednesday a new one.

Wednesday’s voice was quiet, barely audible as the only words she could muster up for the moment was, “They’re doing fine.” although, Wednesday stopped herself. She wanted to continue, to tell you about Enid. Enid finally being able to reach her goal, finally finding the people who accepted her as their own, without having the need to, ‘fit in’.

She wanted to continue―to tell you about how Eugene was able to finally accept what happened. About how Eugene learned to step out of his comfort zone, and finally risk something for once. About how he learned to take accountability, and how he apologized to Pugsley, finally giving their friendship a chance.

With Pugsley―finally standing up for himself. Learning to avoid negativity, and ignore those who wrong him. About how he continues to improve, and how slowly he’s starting to accept what happened. About how he finally learned to grow up.

Agnes, Bianca, Ajax. The names clung onto her mind, with each word continuing to cling onto the back of her mind as she wished to throw them all away. What good are words for if you’re unable to speak of them? Wednesday couldnonly wonder.

“I heard.” You replied to Wednesday, after giving her a moment. Though there was an expectation clinging onto the air, it was rather filled with silence instead. You continued to flip through the pages of your book, with the gentle sounds emitting from the book, Wednesday’s head had slowly looked up. Though she didn’t want to, she knew she couldn’t take it anymore.

Though it was slow at first, your patience could be felt through the space between you both. With Wednesday’s gaze first noticing the amount of pages left on the book. She could remember, seeing the prologue page as she sat down across from you―you were always a quick reader.

Then before she knew it, pieces of your face was slowly coming together. It was you, wearing the coat that Wednesday had lended you last time during your night out. You’d told her you were cold, and although the breeze was truly chilly that night, she’d lended you her coat. She told a witty remark while doing so once again, although―she couldn’t remember what she said anymore.

Then your face finally appeared in her sight, your gentle eyes glancing towards her. Giving her a small moment to cherish between you both. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt your soft gaze stare back onto her. She couldn’t remember. And it made her heart ache to know that.

She studied your face, as your feaures slowly started blending to eachother―with her unable to remember your actual face. It was killing her. She could barely remember the way your eyes looked, what colour they were. How ever many dimples you had whenever you smiled, or even the way your lips looked. She couldn’t remember.

She took a moment to continue her study of your face, focusing on every inch of it as the pages of your book continued to lessen by the minute. She couldn’t understand what was happening. She could only retrace her step along your face, with your words slowly entering her ears, “It’s not your fault, Wednesday.” in that same shaky voice you spoke. 4 months ago. 122 days ago.

“What― hah, what?” Wednesday choked on her words, noticing the way you quickly flipped the pages of your book, ‘til you finally reached the last page. Taking a moment to pause, and take a deep breath. Refusing to look Wednesday in the eyes as your words only continue to fill Wednesday’s mind, “It’s not your fault.”

Before you flipped onto the last page, with Wednesday finally standing up―as if trying to grab onto you. Trying to grab anything that could stop you from disappearing―again.

“Please.” Wednesday could only breath out as she shot up from her bed. Breathless, head throbbing, with Enid immediately rushing by her side with concern. Seeing the way Wednesday’s breathing was hasty, voice barely audible, eyes slowly turning red.

Enid could only take Wednesday’s hand, trying her best to soothe her friend as she spoke in a gentle tone, “Wednesday, it’s okay.” as she helped Wednesday steady her breathing, as she continued to help and soothe Wednesday through her palms.

“She was here. She was here.” Wednesday’s barely audible voice was shaking for the first time. It was Enid’s first time witnessing Wednesday ever throw away her calm and indifferent composure, though―that wasn’t her main focus at the moment.

“Wednesday, it was just a nightmare. I’m so sorry.” Enid could only say, rubbing Wednesday’s back as her voice cracked in the middle of her words. Afraid of what Wednesday’s reaction may be, although―she kept her voice as gentle as possible as she continued with her words, “It’s okay Wednesday. Don’t blame yourself anymore, okay?” giving it her best to keep Wednesday calm, along with a steady breath.

Wednesday kept her silence this time, with the room now only filled with the slow breathing of both Enid and Wednesday as they both took this moment to clear their head. Though, the silence wasn’t permanent, as Wednesday quickly spoke up, her once shaky voice now paired up with her usual monotone voice, with the cracks now barely audible, “If you even think of speaking about this to anyone else, i’ll have you dead before you can even step out of this room.” as she pulled the covers of her bed and laid back on her bed as usual, with her unsteady breathing still being able to be heard, although―now hidden behind the quiet footsteps of Enid, going back to her bed.

People spoke so highly of yearning―as if glorifying the slow falling into despair itself, with no way to catch yourself.

Although, Wednesday was not one to fret.  Known to avoid romance, drama, love.  She knew, these were simply justification for people acting like utter morons―devoting their whole lives to the person they ‘love’, even without reciprocation.

“Utter fools.” Wednesday’s thoughts would speak, glaring at the couples that’d been spread out theoughout the whole academy.  Truly a sight; God did she want to pluck her eyeballs out.

She’s had her fair share of romantic interests―to be frank, one sided admirations she proceeded to deny reciprocation.  Why should she?  She’s already lived through most her life avoiding teenage romance, why should she stop now?

Along with that, she could barely tolerate her parents affectionate selves―why should she follow neither of their footsteps?  With her father kissing the mere ground that her mother stepped on, to her mother entertaining her father.  She loathed it.

It was only until she introduced to one of Enid’s closest friends in the academy, did Wednesday realize the depth of her own mind.

It started with your public appearance.  Being known as rather―a quiet persona.  You weren’t the most bubbly person, unlike Enid―but you weren’t the most quiet either.  Just the perfect mixture of both, where you could speak your mind freely whenever you wanted to, yet listen to the words of others when needed to.  All with that small smile always forming on your lips, that just couldn’t seem to make Wednesday pull away.

You were known, but not popular.  With a face that could encapture anyone’s heart, along with the personality of a saint―Wedneaday could only be more interested.  Almost as if you were magnetic, with Wednesday only being unable to pull away.

Wednesday knew the reason for her slow fall.  Even the most indifferent person couldn’t deny the kind of effect that you had on everybody.

When you shared your kind eyes to her upon your first meeting, Wednesday couldn’t deny the way it stirred something inside of her.  The way your gentle hands felt the first time she took it, returning the hand shake you’ve offered her.  It was as if you had completely witched her.

Although, her admiration had not ended there.  Her gaze had only followed you around.  During your classes, whenever you grew to be one of the person who participated the most in each class, unable to get an answer wrong.  “Seems like you’re not all about appearances, are you?” Wednesday’s mind could only speak, whenever she had her gaze completely on you, unshaking.

During extra curriculars, whenever you would play archery.  Almost as if bending the bow and arrow to your will, your hits were almost―if not perfect, in accuracy.

And her favourite―whenever you played the piano.  With your hands moving freely across the tiles, with only a calm expression plastered across your face, although playing a difficult song.  It was almost as if everything you touched slowly carved to best fit you―and only you.

Wednesday’s admiration couldn’t be helped, but only ever got developed as time went on.  Although she took pride on being a straightforward person, directly avoiding long and dramatic confrontations―she couldn’t seem to speak out in words what ever may her feelings be towards you.

Although she’s known for her witty remarks, and a large extended vocabulary―it was one of the rare times she found herself at lost of words.  Unable to describe what she felt towards you; and not even herself.

It was deep in the night when she chose to take a walk.  Deep in the cemetery where she knew the forest hid places where she could have for herself.  Away from the thought of being sorrounded by people―of being found by you.

Although, it seems as if fate has their own plans, as she was quick to bump against someone through the dark steps towards the cemetary.  She was quick to react however―irritation consuming her ‘til she heard a voice that she found herself way too fond of.

“My apologies.” Your voice spoke out through the silence, with the sound of ruffling leaves below you both slowly dying down.  Your voice could only be sensed as regretful, and apologetic, with it being barely audible―although, still clinging onto Wednesday’s mind.

Wednesday’s quick to her feet, straightening her posture and returning the same quiet―although still monotone voice towards you as she spoke up, “It’s you.  My apologies, as well.” with her head slowly rising to take a look at you, while the only light that illuminated barely half of your face was the moon―shadowed by the leaves of each tree that sorrounded you both; God, did you look beautiful under the moonlight.

“In addition―what ever may have piqued your curiousity to travel outdoors this late?” Wednesday added to her words, voice almost filled with the same irritation she had earlier―for a different reason this time, however.

You could only stare at her for a moment, unable to construct a proper response as you could only stammer.  You could only mutter up a simple, “I couldn’t sleep.” as a response to her question, stumbling upon your words on your way there, although―the seruous expression you had on your face cracking bit by bit, as the nervous feeling inside you bubbled up―unable to pop at the moment.

“And I suppose that your first thought after being unable to sleep is to risk your life out in the middle of the woods?” Wednesday’s voice dripped of sarcasm, although―the underlying tone of concerned could be distinctly heard for a mere moment as she crossed her arms and kept her gaze on you, just as you did.

“What I do with my time is none of your business, Wednesday.” You spoke in a more serious tone.  It wasn’t filled with indifference, no―but the depth of your voice, the depth of your gaze.  They spoke louder than any of your words could at the moment.

Wednesday could only stare at you at that moment―as if you’ve completely shifted onto a whole new different form infront of her.  It seemed as if you couldn’t care less, though.  With as you spoke, did you take immediate steps away from Wednesday, going the same direction that she had just come from.

Wednesday was quicker, however.  Taking you wrist onto her hands, holding you firm wherver you currently stood as she turned around to face you, speaking once again in her same icy cold tone―“I need to speak to you.” with that underlying tone of concern.  A tone you could dissect under her monotone voice, however―never paid attention to.

“Well, you better make it quick.” You spoke up immediately, taking your wirst back from Wednesday’s grasps as you adjusted to face her properly, taking the time to turn and rise your head slowly, taking a look at Wednesday who gre a new expression in her face.  Contemplation, was it?  As if she was arguing with her own mind.

“I have certain feelings towards you that I am currently unable to describe.” She stated, with a hasty pace―as if she refused to ponder at her own statement.  Gardually building the confusion on your expression as you could only tilt your head once more, unable to read Wednesday, as always.

You could’ve sworn that you almost laughed, staring at the serious Wednesday infront of you.  With the silence between you both almost sickening as you let your mind speak before you could even form a thought, “You mean you like me?”

“You know what i’m talking about.” Wednesday was more clear with her statement now, stepping closer towards you as her eyes held a sense of contemplation once more―the hesitation that you’ve felt since the moment that you’ve bumped into her.

Wednesday continued however, her words growing stronger by the moment as you felt the tension between you both cotninue to thicken, “I’ve longed for you, for what have felt like an eternity.” with each words only adding another layer for you to get through.

“And I know you’ve taken advantage of it.” Her words cut through the tension quick with those eight words. Her face only growing closer towards you, before it stopped only mere inches away from yours―with her gaze stuck to yours.

Wednesday could have already felt your pressense before you had even knocked om the door, with the quiet sound of your heel making it’s contact to the floor, along with your quiet voice calling out to her from the other side of the door, “Wednesday? Are you available right now?” stopping Wednesday right in her tracks, as her flipping across her books comes to a halt.

“You may enter.” Her response is quick, her tone barely softening as she stood up from where she sat, and awaited for you to take your step inside her dorm. With arms crossed, as if irritated by your question, although―her soft glare coukd only tell you otherwise.

“I was wondering if you could cover for me tonight?” You’d finally ask, after taking your few steps inside the room. Immediately closing the door behind you, as if afraid of anyone else being able to hear your conversation with Wednesday. She could barely contain her scoff, and the roll in her eyes. “Please? I’m going out with one of Enid’s pack-friend.” You ultimately added, stepping closer towards Wednesday as you practicely had been begging. All while you kept the quiet and soft persona that you’ve come with.

Wednesday could only stare. It wasn’t visible to you, no―but her ears were quick to perk up at your words. With her eyes glancing from the pleading eyes you gave her―to the voice that you always used on her whenever you needed another favour. Whenever you needed someone to cover for you, whenever you needed Wednesday to do another one of your dirty favours. You knew how to get her, and you used it.

As quick as you pleaded, did Wednesday nod. Unable to control her own actions, she scoffed once again and finally spoke up, letting her words break the silence between you both―“Fine, although you haven’t even been bothered to repay any of your other favours.” with such a condescending tone that could only make you chuckle in that same light hearted tone before you thanked her with another one of your smiles. God, she wished she’d never seen that smile, if she knew the control it had over her.

As quickly as you came did you leave, without any other words being exchanged you both. Wednesday resented the feeling of shallowness that came with your abscence―it couldn’t be helped, however. No matter how much she buried herself to her book, with endless writing. To the point of no sense, did it not bury her feelings deep down inside her like she wanted.

She proceeded to her extra curriculars, barely attending her fencing organization, hwoever she seemed almost present in the training grounds whenever she found herself aching once more. As if every moment that weren’t spent with you gave her chest an ache she was unable to identify.

Archery she tried, which only led to her burying herself down more in the shallow hole you’ve left inside her with your abscence. With the way you had only spoken to her whenever you needed something, whenever you needed another favour done. As if you abused the way she yearned for the kindness your personality had once shared with her. The ache was gnawing it’s way out of Wednesday’s chest, all the way to her very flesh and bones. With her blood only dripping out, slowly seeping onto the ground with no sign of stopping. Although―Wednesday could barely let her mind wander in thoughts like that. As if she denied every sign that you could be what she though of you―because she, Wednesday Addams herself, had put someone like you in a pedestal that she couldn’t seem to get you off of. What a hypocrite she was.

“Please.” A quiet plea left Wednesday’s mouth. A plea you’d never thought would ever come out of Wednesday Addams’s mouth herself. Her expression remained the same, although her voice had cracked under clear pressure. Her face was kept close to you, to the point where you could almost hear the increasing heartbeat that Wednesday’s chest held.

“I’d let you devour my organs, my flesh. I’d let you drink my tears, my blood. I’d let you consume my heart, my soul.” Her voice speaking slowly, the same pleading voice from before unable to be recognize under the growing sense of what seemed like desperation. An expression you’ve never been able to see in Wednesday’s face. A tone you’ve never heard of in her voice. It was as if Wednesday was unraveling, infront of you. For you.

Her last addition of words being, “If it makes you whole.” with the quiet ultimately taking over her voice completely. As she took this time to finally step back, as if regretting what she’d spoken of before. Although, no more words than that are spoken afterwards, leaving you standing―staring, as the only sounds that could be beard through the silence are the heavy breathing of the both of you. With no words being able to be said to break the silence that slowly killed you both.

It felt like the silence spanned from minutes, to decades. With neither of you being able to speak of anymore words. Although, the guilt you felt had already consumed you. Hearing Wednesday’s words, and remembering every moment that Wednesday had been speaking about. Every moment that you’ve sued Wednesday, only whenever you needed it―knowing her weakness. Knowing the thing that could make her cave in, in less than a second. You knew it was you―it was always you.

“Haven’t I already consumed you enough?” Were the only words you could utter out, your voice only dripping with the guilt that continued to swallow you whole. You knew you couldn’t reciprocate her feelings. You couldn’t. You wouldn’t. “Don’t choose me. Choose yourself.” You continued with your words, as you spoke with an underlying message to your words, hoping for Wednesday to pick up on them as you shook your head, refusing her advances.

Wednesday was quick to respond to your words, “Dignity dies, where desperation lies.” spoken with justification in her tone as she tried to reach out for you, the pleading undertone in her words disappearing completely, replaced with a sense of desperation that she could only hide well under her poetic voice. Monotone, though, filled with the emotions of a real poet.

“I know you’re unable to accept my confession. However, I know very well, you’re aware that I will continue admiring you.” Wednesday creates an addition to her words, finally stopping in her tracks. Her outstretched hands that reached for you, were slowly brought to her sides as she fixed her posture, tilting her head. Refusing to face you as she continued with her words, “If that is your assumption, or a thought that may have been conjured in your mind, then I am here to confirm it.”

“I’ll leave myself out for you to feed on, whenever you need it. If it means helping you become whole,” She stops inbetween her words for a moment, finally taking a moment to take a glance at you, before she continued to finish her words, “Again and again.” in a tone where you found unrecognizable for the first time. With the only thing being left after those words are the silence, and the longing gaze that you finally noticed Wednesday’s eyes held. With a small glimmer, you could never have noticed before, but now could.

If only you could take a moment to have continued memorizing every inch of her face, did you almost know every path to her face. Every freckle, every healing scar. It all went a way in a quick step out of your view, as Wednesday finally took this moment to start walking back towards the dormitories. Leaving you standing alone in the middle of the forest, emotions unbalanced, and unable to think about anything else at the moment.

You could only think to yourself, “Have I just lost her?” as you heard the rustling of leaves behind you, the rustling slowly growing quiet, until you’re left in the silence, replaying every moment you’d spent with Wednesday.