Alaf

Naruto most likely sees how the world around him works, and it affects his behaviour, especially since he craves for acceptance.

Notice the difference in his reaction when another guy says he likes him in part 1 vs part 2.

(Sorry for a bit poor quality, it was difficult to find an accurate translation, most were viz translations which didn't convey this convo very well). In part 1 he's just annoyed, because he doesn't like Kankurou as a person. He didn't even think about that "I like you" could have certain other implications. But in part 2 he's straight up creeped out by Kakashi saying the same thing, eventhough the meaning and intention is the same in both.

Naruto's reaction to Kurama mentioning his kiss with Sasuke was also way too over the top. Like really comical. Naruto was putting on a show in front of everyone. But whenever he's with Sasuke, he forgets all about this, he is fine with waxing poetry to Sasuke, or Sasuke being close to him...

My guess is since he went through puberty he also learned things about himself and thus started to become more sensitive to such things. Thus internalized homophobia.

Take this scene for example. He seems a bit uncomfortable being there. Sai was probably made to be like this (inappropriate, talking about p*nis all the time, being compared to Sasuke, challenging Naruto about his fixation on Sasuke) so Kishi could introduce more such themes into the manga. He's rather clever about this.

Another guess (it could be both combined) would be that since Jiraiya is so aggressively straight man (to the point he has to introduce himself by saying he's not into men lol) living with him for those years during the timeskip could have affected Naruto's mindset even more. But it's funny how Kishi keeps stressing over and over how Naruto finds Jiraiya's er*tic books boring. Also unlike Jiraiya who peeps on women for p*rverted reasons, Naruto does it as a prank, and in order to practice his oiroke no jutsu. Kishi is trying to show how they are different. I remember on one discussion forum one guy actually brought up he noticed Naruto's changed behaviour after he came back with Jiraiya! Like that he was even more gay and more sensitive to gay things. See, other people notice too.

Then he calls Konohamaru's boy-on-boy jutsu "nasty". Naturally, it's a shonen, Naruto can't have a comically interested reaction like Sakura to something like that, it wouldn't fly. Thus the internalized homophobia. But I also think he didn't want to see Sasuke who he's possessive over being with Sai like that lol. And Naruto really isn't one to talk considering what he came up with later.

Look how proud he looks. Little hypocrite. He's been working on those twink bods more than rasengan lol. Kishi wasn't very subtle with that comment. Also Kishi fought for this moment with his editors for YEARS because he just really needed to write this down. It was just that important to him...

Of course Naruto's repression comes up when it comes to Sasuke as well. Here he admits Sasuke is attractive, but then immediately backpedals on it. His real feelings just slipped.

Later, he was thinking about Sasuke, his mind consumed by Sasuke, but when Sakura and Sai appear his whole body language changes and he immediately claims he was thinking about a date with Sakura. He didn't want to be vulnerable nor let anyone know about his real feelings at the moment. He is hiding behind a heterosexual facade.

But sometimes Naruto doesn't even think of backpedaling on it. He is with his supposed "crush" yet unlike anyone else who would try to get closer or maybe flirt, he is just thinking about Sasuke. This is actually a moment that made many people raise their eyebrows. Including people who didn't like narusasu, or people who didn't ship anything. Specifically because it's written like a clickbait, as in Naruto says "he is happy" and Sakura going "huh?" and because she's his supposed crush who is taking care of him as I said most readers would expect next page have Naruto say something that would emphasize his crush on Sakura. But no, he goes on about Sasuke. No matter how much ss/nh insist we see gay everywhere, many other people picked up on Kishi's writing at many points during the story. But anyway, even with the internalized homophobia, Naruto's love for Sasuke is so strong he can say crazy things about Sasuke to other people and to Sasuke himself that things like "I'm starting to like you" (a completely average thing to say to another person) can't compare to, and still be unbothered by it.

Finally there is the interaction with Minato. Naruto wants to look good in front of his dad so he hesitantly agrees Sakura is his girlfriend, despite how in the previous arc we were shown that Naruto knew Sakura still likes Sasuke, and was angry at her when she tried to confess to him. So he is obviously not serious about Sakura being his girlfriend, but he is saying it to Minato hesitantly. Yet when his dad is leaving he doesn't want to lie anymore.... but he's also hesitant about admitting he hasn't found a girl like his mom wanted.

About the last part, I think it's referring to the armadillo scene? I think it was Kishi's typical humour, like how Naruto saw Haku in makeup and feminine clothing, and assumed Haku was a girl, but then was told Haku is a boy and went "oh okay, I didn't know that kind of thing existed". Here there was instead an armadillo that somehow looked like it was wearing makeup (??? idek or at least looked feminine) and since Naruto needed to write down whether the animals were boys or girls (a ridiculous cover up mission they made up to hide the war was going on from Naruto lol) but then it was flipped over with everyone else and Naruto saw its p*nis and went "even if heaven and earth switched places, a male is still a male". I guess Kishi likes this kind of thing lol... his d*ck jokes...

I know it says "the world might flip over" here but I know it's actually that proverb "even if heaven and earth switched places" that's often used in Japanese.

Last night it as if I didn’t know the person in front of me. My eyes didn’t want to believe what they saw, my ears didn’t want to believe what they heard and my heart didn’t want to accept what just happened. It was supposed to be a warm reunion with all of class-A around but my expectations were hung up on something else… … on “someone” else. … … …

When I looked around it was still the familiar faces from years ago when we were still students in UA. But now they’ve all grown up, while for me I am still stuck at the river bank… …

The only difference is the boy who had his hand stretched out towards me, I can’t seem to recognize him anymore. Did he change? Was I too late? Did I really fail to catch up to you… … … Izuku?

Is it selfish that I thought I could keep you by my side for the rest of our lives? Was I wrong for thinking you also wanted the same? For the past 8 years, there wasn't a single day where I didn't want you to be mine. I was blinded by joy of my own delusions that I couldn't see that I'm not allowed to be your's. I crossed a line that didn't even exist for you, long ago.

I've known you for the entire time I've known myself. And it took a single night for us to become strangers again. Cause who I saw last night can't be the Izuku I knew. He would've never given up on his dream of becoming a hero, he would've never rejected the offer to open an agency alongside with me, he would've never gave up on chasing our dreams together. These were your plans after all but seems like they've changed now, you've changed, Izuku.

Yet I'm still the same.

I'm sorry my feelings have turned this way but I have never regretted loving you. I never will, because to me Izuku Midoriya is still the epitome of selfless love. Till the very end you've cared for others more than you've cared about yourself. Maybe I wanted your selfish desire to be me but who knows if I've ever been in that light for you. If you've ever wanted me like I've wanted you.

I've been a mess ever since last night, it's not just that my feelings weren't reciprocated. Why does it seem like somewhere in that crowd I lost a part of me too?

When I watched you walk away, you didn't look back once. That moment told me everything I needed to know. I lost, I lost you forever.

This time I was the one who had his arms out, so eager for you to take it.....what a turn of events right? Did you feel the same back then? Were you hurting the same way as me? Maybe I'll never know.

Last night it as if I didn’t know the person in front of me. My eyes didn’t want to believe what they saw, my ears didn’t want to believe what they heard and my heart didn’t want to accept what just happened. It was supposed to be a warm reunion with all of class-A around but my expectations were hung up on something else… … on “someone” else. … … …

When I looked around it was still the familiar faces from years ago when we were still students in UA. But now they’ve all grown up, while for me I am still stuck at the river bank… …

The only difference is the boy who had his hand stretched out towards me, I can’t seem to recognize him anymore. Did he change? Was I too late? Did I really fail to catch up to you… … … Izuku?

Is it selfish that I thought I could keep you by my side for the rest of our lives? Was I wrong for thinking you also wanted the same? For the past 8 years, there wasn't a single day where I didn't want you to be mine. I was blinded by joy of my own delusions that I couldn't see that I'm not allowed to be your's. I crossed a line that didn't even exist for you, long ago.

I've known you for the entire time I've known myself. And it took a single night for us to become strangers again. Cause who I saw last night can't be the Izuku I knew. He would've never given up on his dream of becoming a hero, he would've never rejected the offer to open an agency alongside with me, he would've never gave up on chasing our dreams together. These were your plans after all but seems like they've changed now, you've changed, Izuku.

Yet I'm still the same.

I'm sorry my feelings have turned this way but I have never regretted loving you. I never will, because to me Izuku Midoriya is still the epitome of selfless love. Till the very end you've cared for others more than you've cared about yourself. Maybe I wanted your selfish desire to be me but who knows if I've ever been in that light for you. If you've ever wanted me like I've wanted you.

I've been a mess ever since last night, it's not just that my feelings weren't reciprocated. Why does it seem like somewhere in that crowd I lost a part of me too?

When I watched you walk away, you didn't look back once. That moment told me everything I needed to know. I lost, I lost you forever.

This time I was the one who had his arms out, so eager for you to take it.....what a turn of events right? Did you feel the same back then? Were you hurting the same way as me? Maybe I'll never know.

Last night it as if I didn’t know the person in front of me. My eyes didn’t want to believe what they saw, my ears didn’t want to believe what they heard and my heart didn’t want to accept what just happened. It was supposed to be a warm reunion with all of class-A around but my expectations were hung up on something else… … on “someone” else. … … …

When I looked around it was still the familiar faces from years ago when we were still students in UA. But now they’ve all grown up, while for me I am still stuck at the river bank… …

The only difference is the boy who had his hand stretched out towards me, I can’t seem to recognize him anymore. Did he change? Was I too late? Did I really fail to catch up to you… … … Izuku?

Is it selfish that I thought I could keep you by my side for the rest of our lives? Was I wrong for thinking you also wanted the same? For the past 8 years, there wasn't a single day where I didn't want you to be mine. I was blinded by joy of my own delusions that I couldn't see that I'm not allowed to be your's. I crossed a line that didn't even exist for you, long ago.

I've known you for the entire time I've known myself. And it took a single night for us to become strangers again. Cause who I saw last night can't be the Izuku I knew. He would've never given up on his dream of becoming a hero, he would've never rejected the offer to open an agency alongside with me, he would've never gave up on chasing our dreams together. These were your plans after all but seems like they've changed now, you've changed, Izuku.

Yet I'm still the same.

I'm sorry my feelings have turned this way but I have never regretted loving you. I never will, because to me Izuku Midoriya is still the epitome of selfless love. Till the very end you've cared for others more than you've cared about yourself. Maybe I wanted your selfish desire to be me but who knows if I've ever been in that light for you. If you've ever wanted me like I've wanted you.

I've been a mess ever since last night, it's not just that my feelings weren't reciprocated. Why does it seem like somewhere in that crowd I lost a part of me too?

When I watched you walk away, you didn't look back once. That moment told me everything I needed to know. I lost, I lost you forever.

This time I was the one who had his arms out, so eager for you to take it.....what a turn of events right? Did you feel the same back then? Were you hurting the same way as me? Maybe I'll never know.

as a dostoyevsky fan i first discovered bsd by being very confused whenever i saw pretty anime boys in the crime and punishment tag, so now i’m using bsd to discover more classic literature, and you can too!

this is my personal list straight from my phone notes app, of the most significant works mentioned in the series. italized titles are those that i really couldn’t find an english translation of but they’re there for completeness (if you’ve found one please comment!)

i’ve also got links to the french text of all works that are originally in french, because i read french and as said this list is just adapted from my personal notes hahaha

special shoutout goes to @bsd-bibliophile and their website from where i got many of the links, especially the works of the japanese authors, as well as the bsd recommended reading list ❤️

links are pdfs unless otherwise specified

the armed detective agency:

no longer human by dazai osamu

the moon over the mountain by nakajima atsushi (beast beneath the moonlight)

an encouragement of learning by fukuzawa yukichi (all men are equal)

o brother, you must not die by yosano akiko (thou shalt not die)

kunikida doppo’s works

the makioka sisters by tanizaki junichirou (light snow) [epub]

naomi by tanizaki junichirou

be not defeated by the rain by miyazawa kenji [online]

demon pond by izumi kyouka (demon snow)

edogawa ranpo’s works

i am a cat by natsume souseki

futon by tayama katai

the port mafia:

rashoumon by akutagawa ryuunosuke (link includes o-gin that akutagawa gin is based on)

this soiled sorrow by nakahara chuuya (upon the tainted sorrow) [online]

golden demon by ozaki kouyou

falling camellia by hirotsu ryuurou

the dancing girl by mori ougai (elise)

vita sexualis by mori ougai [epub]

higuchi ichiyou’s works (no ability specified yet, but see for example encounters on a dark night)

midwinter memento by tachihara michizou

lemon by kajii motojirou

dogra magra by yumeno kyuusaku [website, incomplete translation] 

madness of george III by alan bennett (madness of the jewel king) pretty sure this one’s still copyrighted, hence why they couldn’t use alan bennett’s name for ace, and why i can’t find any pdf copies

the guild:

the great gatsby by f. scott fitzgerald (the great fitzgerald)

little women by louisa m. alcott

the grapes of wrath by john steinbeck [online/pdf/epub]

the scarlet letter by nathaniel hawthorne

gone with the wind by margaret mitchell [online/pdf/epub]

anne of green gables by l. m. montgomery (anne of the abyssal red)

moby dick by herman melville

the adventures of tom sawyer by mark twain (huck finn and tom sawyer)

the adventures of huckleberry finn by mark twain (huck finn and tom sawyer)

the black cat by edgar allan poe (the black cat in the rue morgue) [online]

the murders in the rue morgue by edgar allan poe (the black cat in the rue morgue) [online]

the call of cthulhu by h. p. lovecraft (the great old ones) [online]

the rats in the house of the dead:

the house of the dead by fyodor dostoevsky [online/epub]

crime and punishment by fyodor dostoevsky

a feast in time of plague by alexander pushkin [online/pdf/epub]

the precipice by ivan goncharov (this is an abridged translation please buy the new 2020 unabridged translation titled malinovka heights please it’s one of my all-time favourite books please thank you for your attention)

the perfect crime by oguri mushitarou

the decay of angels:

the decay of the angel by mishima yukio [online]

the overcoat by nikolai gogol

dracula by bram stoker [online/pdf/epub] (bram’s ability isn’t named yet but come on who are we kidding)

sigma has been speculated to be a reference to russian writer and journalist sergey nikolayevich syromyatnikov, or possibly sigmund freud

the hunting dogs:

mirror lion by fukuchi ouchi (online summary)

gasp of the soul by ookura teruko (see bewitching shadow which is the only work of anyone from the hunting dogs with full english translation!)

priceless tears by jouno saigiku

plum blossoms in snow by suehiro tetchou (wikipedia)

special division for unusual powers:

discourse on decadence by sakaguchi ango

hail in the begging bowl [online/pdf] (an essay by james abrams on the life and poetry of taneda santoka, from which the ability name is derived)

order of the clock tower:

and then there were none by agatha christie

dark era:

strait is the gate by andré gide (french original, online)

flawless by oda sakunosuke (see his other works from the stories of osaka life collection that has been translated into english, which can be found on the @bsd-bibliophile website)

the long goodbye by raymond chandler [online]

55 minutes:

the time machine by h. g. wells

the mysterious island by jules verne (french original, online/epub)

matasaburou of the wind by miyazawa kenji [online] (atsushi’s alias)

johann wolfgang von goethe (mentioned)

william shakespeare (mentioned)

victor hugo (mentioned) les misérables french original 

fifteen + storm bringer:

illuminations by arthur rimbaud [online] (french original, online/epub)

paul verlaine’s poetry [online/epub] (french original, online/epub)

frankenstein by mary shelley (adam frankenstein)

gaiden:

another by ayatsuji yukito (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3)

the summer in the ubume by kyougoku natsuhiko (an inherent drop)

yesterday’s shadow tag by tsujimura mizuki

dead apple:

shibusawa tatsuhiko’s works (referred to collectively as draconia, see fish scales which has been translated into english)

chapter titles and other references:

franz kafka’s works (our man asagiri) metamorphosis [online/epub] the trial [online/epub]

the setting sun by osamu dazai (have you seen all those dazai sunset scenes in the anime)

the black lizard by hirotsu ryuurou

the case of murder on D hill by edogawa ranpo (murder on D street, ch 6)

poems of days past by nakahara chuuya (back in the day, ch 11) see poem collection

light, wind and dreams by nakajima atsushi (even if my head be mistaken, ch 29)

if you’re gonna read the above you should probably be acquainted with robert louis stevenson’s works, like the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde [online/epub]

tower of silence by mori ougai (the silent tower and the raven’s feast, ch 30)

husband and wife by nakajima atsushi (cherrirs, ch 43)

dreaming of butterflies by hagiwara sakutarou (ch 65-66)

the sheep song by nakahara chuuya (the chant to activate chuuya’s corruption)

les sœurs de charité by arthur rimbaud (the chant to activate verlaine’s corruption) french original

this is all the main works i could find, but naturally bsd is chock-full of literature references so please feel free to add to this list if you have anything! again i have to direct you to bsd-bibliophile’s online library for more complete resources and relevant authors that are not directly mentioned in bsd + a bunch of other useful content, i swear that page is one of my most-visited websites hahaha

other great resources for free books that have entered the public domain, where i got most of the links to the western books on this list:

project gutenberg

free editorial

planet ebook

planet publish

it caught my eye because this is the way chuuya fights. 

Dazai: Wait Chuuya, Chuuya, we have to make sure.


Chuuya: Dazai-

by Litaluna

An unpleasant nightmare has Dazai acting a little clingy upon Chuuya’s return from a two week long mission.

Words: 1354, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Relationships: Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs)

The reason as to why he let him go is obvious: He still cares for him.

There has been so many people that have left Chuuya, either they died or simply parted ways, and he thought Dazai was going to be the same the moment he left. And I mean, in a sense, he was. He did leave Chuuya without an explanation, but he also managed to come back and mantain the same dynamic he has shared with Chuuya after so long.

I think that hit Chuuya, it made him realize that despite the fact that they were seperated for four years both of them were still able to slip right back into their usual mannerisms. It's something that Chuuya has never expirienced with anoyone else.

One could say that Shirase was also like that for Chuuya, but although Chuuya and Shirase did make amends, they never got into contact again. Not to mention how although they do see each other as friends, their relationship did change.

But the relationship he shares with Dazai stayed the same. Sure, there is a lot of newfound feelings that came into the light after Dazai's departure, but their bickering, their knowledge of each other, their trust and their overall feelings for one another stayed intact.

Chuuya doesn't want to loose Dazai, he can preach about how he wants him to die or how he wants to kill him all he wants but his actions speak louder than his words.

As I mentioned on one of my previous posts, whenever Chuuya lost someone or someone betrayed him, Dazai always managed to be there:

Rimbauds death. Both of them listened to Rimbauds last words and were impacted by them in different ways.

The flags. Dazai carried Chuuya on his back to take him to their bodies so he could say goodbye to them.

Adam’s sacrifice. Dazai found him in the woods, tossed him Veralines hat, and gave him news about how there is way for them to find out if hes human to lighten up his mood.

Shirase. When Chuuya and Shirase part ways because Shirase was going to London, minutes later Dazai appeared telling him how their work starts in a few minutes.

Chuuya's 6 friends from the dragon head conflict. It was Dazai who nullified his corruption and let him sleep on his lap afterwards.

I feel like Chuuya has this "don't you dare die on me, you bastatd" mentality when it comes to Dazai. Dazai and him have been togehter since they were 15 and he hasn't lost him since. For him to loose that one person who has been such a consistant person in his life even after the 4 year separation would make him feel sick to his stomach.

Chuuya would never admit out loud that he cares for Dazai, but the way he reacts whenever Dazai is hurt or the fact that he has pulled Dazai away from harm before (in Stormbringer code 4 he yells "Watch out!" to Dazai and grabs him to pull him away from Veralines attack) shows us how much he genuienly cares for Dazai.

Chuuya obviously resents Dazai for leaving the PM, but that doesn't mean he isn't deep down greatful that he is still alive. And that they still mantain the same partnership they've had for years.