A Shot In The Dark

It still feels like teenagers were born around 1992-1998, not 1999-2005

Is that Ariana Grande

yea

Is she okay?

no she got hit

why was she so loud

bc she got hit

why

she got hit

Why’d she get hit

the bus hit her

is she okay?

Soulmates are not your ~other half~, that’s just nonsense. You are a whole person already, not half a person. A soulmate isn’t even inherently romantic. A soulmate is just the other sock in a matched set. You’re still a whole, complete sock on your own, you are perfectly functional paired with any other sock, it’s just that it’s even better when you match. A soulmate is literally just the person who makes your soul go “!!! Same hat!!!” and wave excitedly.

i love this

this is literally the only interpretation of “soulmate” that I can tolerate or accept 

i went to the gym today and there was a guy going to TOWN on the punching bags so i asked him “rough night?” and he said “my wife’s on a business trip and i miss her” and if that isnt the most steve rogers thing in the world idk what is

don’t you just love how mental disorders are basically buy one get seven free

I’m SCREAMING at how she loses it when she says she’s getting a grande! SDFSFSGSSDGDDSGF

A while back I heard my friend (male) insult another dude by saying, “You look like the kind of guy who wouldn’t go to Wal-Mart to buy his girlfriend a box of tampons” and I still think about that crowning insult sometimes

My dad once called another guy “someone who thinks loading the dishwasher once in a while makes him less of a man”

I like your dad already

one time my dad’s boss was giving him shit for always leaving work early so he could get home and help my mom with me when i was a newborn and his boss said “i’ve never changed a diaper in my life” really proudly and my dad responded “i’d be ashamed to ever admit i was that worthless of a husband”

oh WOW

This is by far my most popular post.