“Vergangenheitsbewältigung”

But when the melancholy fit shall fall

Sudden from heaven like a weeping cloud,

That fosters the droop-headed flowers all,

And hides the green hill in an April shroud;

Then glut thy sorrow on a morning rose,

Or on the rainbow of the salt sand-wave,

Or on the wealth of globed peonies;

Or if thy mistress some rich anger shows,

Emprison her soft hand, and let her rave,

the sponteneity of the radio,

breaking the window

of my mind forged manacles

(cockatiel radio on college radio

i walk in to put them to bed

Wolf's-bane, tight-rooted, for its poisonous wine;

Nor suffer thy pale forehead to be kiss'd

By nightshade, ruby grape of Proserpine;

Make not your rosary of yew-berries,

Nor let the beetle, nor the death-moth be

Your mournful Psyche, nor the downy owl

A partner in your sorrow's mysteries;

For shade to shade will come too drowsily,

And drown the wakeful anguish of the soul.

But when the melancholy fit shall fall

Sudden from heaven like a weeping cloud,

That fosters the droop-headed flowers all,

And hides the green hill in an April shroud;

Then glut thy sorrow on a morning rose,

Or on the rainbow of the salt sand-wave,

Or on the wealth of globed peonies;

Or if thy mistress some rich anger shows,

Emprison her soft hand, and let her rave,

And feed deep, deep upon her peerless eyes.

She dwells with Beauty—Beauty that must die;

And Joy, whose hand is ever at his lips

Bidding adieu; and aching Pleasure nigh,

Turning to poison while the bee-mouth sips:

Ay, in the very temple of Delight

Veil'd Melancholy has her sovran shrine,

Though seen of none save him whose strenuous tongue

Can burst Joy's grape against his palate fine;

His soul shalt taste the sadness of her might,

And be among her cloudy trophies hung.

but only for relief

every romantic mistake i ever made

pursues me

through instagram & memories

only we share

i hate you

but i don/t

yr presentation

of perfect love

disrupts the balance.

i hope she is what you needed

since my pink hair and piercings

my lauren says she cuts to feel pain later

the sweat that burns her open cuts between her breasts…

in the middle of shift…

me…

i cut to feel relief

in that terrible moment of psychic agony

i cut to let the blood out

all i want is to see my blood

and to bring on the sleep

such wounds beg

and the hope when wake up

i will feel better

please lauren just not worse

(the drs all say its about control

but maybe too

its about the body caging me