A.K. Żgaj

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I owe you all an explanation.

I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’ll be drawing any more Silmarillion characters.

This wasn’t an easy decision, and it isn’t based on just one thing.

I’ve watched the fandom change over the years, and I no longer feel like I belong in it. I’m a Tolkien purist. I fell in love with Professor Tolkien’s world because of his stories, his themes, and his vision. That’s the world I wanted to celebrate through my art. I know many people enjoy different interpretations, but they’re simply not mine. I have no interest in modern ideological reinterpretations or in turning every relationship into a ship, including between brothers. I don’t judge those who enjoy it, but it’s not something I can create or be passionate about.

The truth is… I’m exhausted.

I’ve burned out completely. Creating fanart no longer brings me the joy it once did.

On top of that, I’ve been battling depression and have lived through one of the darkest periods of my life. It left me with scars on my arms and many invisible ones as well. For months, I’ve been trying to survive rather than create. Art used to be my safe place, but even that became difficult.

When I started these accounts, I simply wanted to share my love for the books that meant so much to me. Somewhere along the way, I lost that feeling.

I’m grateful to everyone who appreciated my work, encouraged me, and stayed with me through the years. Your kindness meant more than you probably realize.

Maybe one day I’ll draw Tolkien’s world again. Maybe I won’t. Right now, I just don’t have it in me.

Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️

I'm simply struggling with my health. I've freed myself from toxic people (I'm a victim of mobbing). Today was a really tough day, and eh something broke inside me today.