Akuma Shiro

NEW YORK—Describing the ornately decorated 3,000-square-foot space as “the height of luxury,” President-elect Donald Trump officially unveiled a new Double Platinum–Level White House press room Thursday, which he said will be made available to only a select few journalists. “Located mere steps from the West Wing, this magnificent, invitation-only press suite will cater to the every need of a hand-selected group of the most esteemed reporters as they cover my presidency,” said Trump, adding that individual Italian oak writing desks, ambient light from overhead chandeliers, and a bank of 12 plush seats providing unimpeded views of the lectern would help make journalists feel comfortable and relaxed while they report on the executive branch. “Not only will the members of this prestigious group enjoy complimentary sparkling wine and valet parking, but they will also receive private access to my administration that no one else in the press corps will be able to enjoy. It is truly the most beautiful and most exclusive press room that Washington has ever seen.” Trump also confirmed plans to convert the James S. Brady Press Briefing Room into a high-end spa and sauna available only to members of the Trump Double-Platinum Press Club.

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