Hate to say i get Andrew repression era Glouberman, but i do.

hello ???? um . Uh . gonna give it 2 u straight i have had exactly 2 situations in my life that were vaguely romantic (one boy + one girl #bisexualitywin) and i am NOT . the person u want to ask for romantic advice . but heyyyyy i can try !!!! idk how old u are but i'm nineteen soooo my advice may be influenced by my age . idek . okay let me quit my yap and get to your actual question #SORRY . by using these characters i assume you're implying that ur best friends with ur crush and obviously ive written about nickdrew rather extensively and yeah they fight over stupid shit and they can be crazy or dumb but i'm allergic to not writing them happy endings every single time bc isn't that why any of us get into fandom in the first place ? for promised happy endings ? unless u love toxic yaoi (meeee too lwk) but even then there's a reason why fix-it / domestic fics r so popular with doomed pairings ... but i guess what i'm trying to say is that things don't always have a happy ending in life, and maybe this is corny as hell and stupid, but i try to believe that everything happens for a reason ... like when horrible things happen to u it's to make you a stronger and better person in the future, you know? u just gotta push through !!! and despite what i've just said about life not always having happy endings, this is actually what i'm gonna tell you: just go for it, man. obviously if they're like . in a relationship or there's other outside factors that make it VERY CLEAR this isn't something you should pursue, just do it. ummm okay im gonna give u an anecdote rn from my own life 4 #inspiration but u gotta promise not to tell anyone okay !!! #tumblreyesOnly ... dw i'll keep it brief bc i've already been yapping for years atp ...

ok so i first realized i was bi in seventh grade bc my bsf was a girl who i was in love with . well maybe i didn't use love at the time but i knew i always wanted to be near her and hold her hand and play with her hair and would lit be in my bed at night mad blushing imagining a situation where im smooth as hell and give her my jacket or something . it's ok u can laugh ... actually ! for valentine's day that year i bought a foil covered chocolate rose from target and a heart shaped box of chocolates and gave it to her #gulp . however this was fine bc yk the whole thing of "galentines" nobody really looked at me any different . ok MOVING ON sorry i rlly am trying to keep this brief #whoops . i was in seventh grade during 2020 so march of that year (obvi) we all went online and stuff and i think this made me a little bolder over text ? bc like i knew we wouldn't see each other irl for god knows how long so during these months we would play so much minecraft (me + her + another friend of ours---side note i lwk helped that friend realize he was gay during 2020 and we communicated about it through minecraft books and it's still so bonkers to me HA) . we lived in a house together and god i remember being so nervous over putting our beds together lol ... yeah it was just . we called all the time and it was great (as great as 2020 could be, but i was a kid at that time so) . one big thing i remember was valentine's day of 2021, i lit just texted "will you be my valentine?" and she said yes and i could've died from how excited i was #Man .... and then a few months before that for her birthday i asked her older sister for their address so i could send her a surprise b day gift of custom etsy earrings ... fucking anyways OK ALMOST OVER I THINK . we started ninth grade in person in august of that year and we were still close (a little different bc i now had my own separate friends and she had hers and our other friend joined asb and got like . Incredibly popular) and alright here's the sucky part . we got into some argument over some stupid shit from our english class that i don't even remember now, but it really drove us apart . and u know what it's like to be fourteen and stupid and brash you never want to admit that ur wrong and never want to give in soooo . neither of us did . i think she wanted me to fight for our friendship but i didn't and that's like one of my biggest regrets from high school . eugh . so we just went our separate ways and i cried a wholeeeee lot but it was fine bc she had her own friends and i had my friends and a bunch of other extracurriculars that i still can't believe i managed to balance for all four years ...

ok now we're in senior year . i'm at a halloween house party thrown by some mutual friend, i'm wearing a costume that doesn't even make sense besides a jack skellington mask / gloves paired with a way too short skirt and way too high boots bc i wanted to look "hot" . im still lwk grieving over the boy heartbreak i briefly alluded to earlier that occurred during the last half of junior year but that isn't so relevant here . well maybe a bit . uh i'll get to that . i'm drinking like a monster bc i want to have fun + forget about being a senior + forget about dumb feelings Which i do not recommend but i was seventeen so . anyways at some point in the night i see #her at the snack table (she is a friend of this mutual friend) so since i'm already emboldened by so much alcohol (but im also like . tall . so i am probably pretty obviously drunk but can still hold a conversation and remember things . it's just enough alcohol where u don't rlly feel the need to be all that smart anymore) i decide to talk to her !!! by saying how pretty she looks in her costume !!! and probably looking at her in a foolish lovestruck way !!! we chat for a bit and then we move outside and uh i apologize for everything and say i should've fought for us and Uh i also confess that i loved her for so very long and regret not doing anything about it . she lets me sob in her arms and im so drunk and i hate my costume bc i feel like im objectifying myself and i feel like a wasted whore . she tells me that she always had a crush on me too and that she also regrets not fighting for us bc the fight was stupid but she was just scared of things being different . eugh . im like in so much shock and maybe i would've kissed her if i wasn't so drunk and weepy but honestly im kind of glad i didn't bc it would've have been earned for either of us ... so then we just keep talking about life and everything and college and stuff (i tell her about how much i want to leave our suburban town and go to college in a big city, she tells me that she always knew i'd go out there and do something big (?) and that she's probably going to go to our local community college) . i yap to her about the boy from before and my awful ex-bsf who broke my heart and she says she never liked either of them anyways . we talk and talk and talk and i think we both realized in that moment that we would never talk again and this was finally our proper goodbye . i still think about her sometimes, and i wonder what would've happened if i'd been brave enough to tell her how i felt from the very start --- knowing that she felt the same, too . but i was just too scared !!!! i was so goddamn scared and that was that !!!!