What? A group of weird and charismatic people who do questionable things against the rotten worldâs stability and (mostly) die young? I stood no chance.
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@akatsuki-core
What? A group of weird and charismatic people who do questionable things against the rotten worldâs stability and (mostly) die young? I stood no chance.

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May I request Deidara guilty wank?
Deidara is practically drooling, mouth open and panting and tongue hanging out of his mouth as the tongue of his right hand swirls around the tip of his cock.
Heâs not quite daring enough to press his dick inside that extra mouth. He doesnât always have the best control of it when he gets like this and he doesnât trust it wonât bite down.
He wishes he had your mouth instead. He bets youâd take him eagerly, gagging around him in your enthusiasm to get him down your throat. Your chin would be slick with drool and pre-cum as you eagerly bob up and down on his dick. Youâd take him so deep heâd feel the tip of your nose bump against his pubic bone and youâd look up at him with big hungry eyes and Deidara would have no choice but to grab the side of your head and fuck your face until heâs cumming directly down your throat.
He wishes you were here. Instead he has to settle for the tongues on his hands teasing him, lapping wetly at the dripping tip of his cock and down its length and against the sensitive skin just beneath his head that has him biting down curses and twitching in his hands.
When he cums, his only regret is he canât see it spilling out past your pretty lips.
Yes, perfect. I love my messy boi.
Sloppy notebook sketches of some of the Akatsuki members from an AU a friend and I are building where the Akatsuki are revived and go on to have children (itâs not as peaceful as it sounds).
These take place about one or two years after the events of Shippuden, so they arenât parents here yet.
Please do not repost! If youâre gonna share these, please do it directly from here.
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The Akatsuki as Parents
Obito
Was a bit reluctant when he found out he was going to be a daddy ... at first. Not because he didnât want kids ((he really did)), but because he severely doubted his own ability to be a father. But the second he holds the baby in his arms, heâs hooked. He will be so eagerly helpful and hands-on that during the childâs infancy, the other parent will rarely have to lift a finger. Diapers need changing? Obitoâs on it. Baby needs to be fed at 2am? Obitoâs already out of bed and warming formula on the stove. Rash? Fever? A cough? Obito is consulting every doctor within a 20 mile radius on what to do. Note that Obito is a hard-core traditionalist and, if he isnât married to the childâs other parent before he gets them pregnant, heâll be persistent about doing so before the kid is born. Sobs the first time his child calls him âpapaâ. As the child grows older, Obito will be a tireless teacher and mentor, and you better believe that the kid will know every facet of what was once the Uchiha clan. Sharingan training is a bit nerve-wracking for Dad, because while he wants his child to grow strong, he knows the power of the eye is a deadly one, and doesnât like to see his son/daughter get hurt. Is the type to be a bit more strict with his sons than with daughters, in fact being a complete pushover for anything his little girl(s) wants. Very, VERY likely to insist a girl be named Nohara. Also the type to sneak and let his kid eat lots of sweets (like Obito himself does) before meals, much to the other parentâs chagrin. Also involves the other Akatsuki members as uncles/aunt in the kidâs life, especially Itachi and Sasuke as he wants the kid to be exposed to members of the family more often.
Hidan
The literal first words out of his mouth are âpregnant? Why the hell didnât you make me wear a condom?!â Takes a long time to warm up to the idea of parenthood, but once he does, heâs surprisingly better at it than anyone would anticipate. He tends to be very fast-paced in his body movements and not really used to being careful, so if heâs holding his infant itâs best to make him sit still in a chair first. Once the kid(s) is older, itâs better, because Hidanâs energy levels will match (and overshadow) even the liveliest of children. It will be a big point of contention between Hidan and his co-parent on whether or not to introduce their kid to Jashinism, and Hidan will eventually promise to wait until the child is an adult to start talking about âall that shitâ; although Hidanâs idea of adulthood seems to be when the kid is old enough to use a kunai. Puts a startling amount of emphasis on his kid getting a good education, and will be sure to send him or her to the best village school that he possibly can. The reason behind this is because Hidan himself had a poor education growing up, and is in fact barely able to read or do basic math; and he says over and over that his kid âisnât gonna be some dumbass like his/her fatherâ.
Kakuzu
Nearly faints when told heâs going to be a father. Will immediately get out a calculator and start figuring out expenses like diapers, food, toys, education ... is so preoccupied that he ends up neglecting the person who carries his child, causing them to go off on their own expecting to be a single parent. Oddly, itâs Hidan who sets the old guy straight. He stays on his case and talks to him until the nonagenarian sees the error of his ways, and goes after the person having his baby. Kakuzu will be gentle with a baby, and show a surprising affinity for making up and singing lullabies. As the kid gets older, Kakuzu will be a bit more strict. âFood is expensive; you better eat every bite on your plate.â âA hole in your pants? No give them to me and Iâll mend them; buying new clothes is unnecessary.â His child will grow up knowing how to stretch a buck and budget money better than any other kid their age. Kakuzu isnât really one for showing much warmth or affection, but there will be a few rare moments in his kidâs life where his father hugs him and tells him how proud he is of him. Kakuzu knows that the life of a shinobi is hard and therefore encourages his kid to pursue other career paths, such as opening up his/her own business.
Konan and Nagato
These two are so closely intertwined that they could only be parental mates to each other. When a baby comes into the picture, Nagato will still maintain his position as leader of the Akatsuki as Pein, but will insist that Konan quit. Itâs for a practical purpose rather than a sentimental one; they both lost their collective parents to war, and Nagato always thought that if he had a child, heâd ensure that at least one parent would be around to always take care of him or her. Konan, however, will still keep in touch with all of the Akatsuki members, who will become very enthusiastic uncles to her child. Sheâs always been a good cook but with a child sheâll level up to professional chef caliber, creating dishes that are fun and healthy. Her child(ren) will be taught all of their motherâs paper jutsus, and Nagato will work to devise a way for the brightest one to get his rinnegan once he passes. The kids will primarily spend time with Nagato through Pein, and only be taken to meet their father when Konan feels theyâre ready. Because Konan and Nagato had a childhood devoid of parental love, theyâre often at a loss for how to be affectionate or sentimental, instead putting a lot of emphasis on âtougheningâ their kids up, so that theyâre prepared to face the cruelties of the world. But the kids will know that mom and dad love them; itâs obvious in everything they say and do.
Deidara
Will be the fun, loving, yet highly irresponsible father. As soon as his kid is born he anxiously awaits to see if he or she inherits his explosion-release kekkei genkai; and if the kid DOES, heâs ecstatic. âArt is an explosionâ wonât just be a saying in his household; itâll be a way of life. The child will grow up given complete freedom to express his or her artistic tendencies, with Deidara highly praising any and every impact they make on the outside world. Yet despite being for artistic creativity, heâll be (surprisingly) strongly against the child joining any kind of organization thatâs like the Akatsuki; he regrets his own decision to join as he feels it out a horrible damper on his artistic expression and independence. Likes to tell his young children stories every night, which are actually just heavily edited and sanitized versions of his Akatsuki missions. Like Obito, will be a bit more of a pushover for a daughter than a son, and will love spending hours brushing and styling the beautiful long hair that the girl inherits from him. Heâll let any member of the Akatsuki around his kids except for Hidan (because he doesnât want his foul language around the child).
Zetsu
There are people in this world who know for certain that their lives wouldnât be fulfilled by having children, and Zetsu is one of these individuals. While wanting no offspring of his own, he IS rather a good âuncleâ to the children of his fellow Akatsuki members ((although the majority of these kids are too terrified of his physical appearance to want to go anywhere near him until theyâre at least teenagers)).
Sasori
A child would be hard-pressed to elicit any kind of emotional reaction from Sasori, as the man cleared himself of most feeling when he underwent his puppet transformation. However, one thing that he could never rid himself of, was his ability to love. Even if he has difficulty showing it, he loves his child and would do literally anything to help or protect them. When the child is a baby, Sasori will spend hours crafting tiny puppet-dolls for the kid to play with. As he grew up with a skilled medic grandmother, he possesses a wide knowledge of herbs and healing, which he will painstakingly pass on to his children. Not one to baby his children by any means, as he lives by the philosophy that the world is tough meaning you have to be tougher; however will offer advice, support, and encouragement on any issues that may be troubling his son/daughter. Early on he expresses a desire for his child to learn to be a master puppeteer like himself; however will be understanding if they choose to pursue a different path. Is very smart and naturally mistrustful of strangers, so will likely choose to educate his kids at home rather than send them to a village school. The type to seem more like a trusted mentor or an interesting uncle than an actual father; also the type to relate to his teen or adult children better than young kids.
Itachi
Itachi never feels like he deserves any of the good things in life, because of what heâs done, and therefore doesnât know how to handle blessings that are given to him. A baby is the ultimate example of this. Itachi will feel as though any child of his would be better off not knowing him or being âexposedâ to the cursed Uchiha bloodline, so at first heâll make it a point to barely be around his baby ((even though this kills him inside)). Surprisingly, of all people, itâs Deidara who will talk him out of this mindset, telling him how important it is for a child to be around their father âeven if he is a damned red-eyed weirdoâ. Once Itachi allows himself to fully commit to parenthood, thatâs it â heâll be the best damned father in the universe. Heâll be warm and affectionate, especially liking to pick his kid up (no matter how old they are or how embarrassed it makes them) and squeeze them. Heâs not much of a disciplinarian, believing that kids need to be able to make mistakes in order to grow from them. The only time heâll ever get angry is when the child does something that could have resulted in a serious injury. Itachiâs intelligence has always been off the charts, and he utilizes this to help his kid be a spectacular student. In fact, as the kid gets older, theyâll start bringing his/her friends around the house in order to receive Itachiâs tutoring. Itachiâs brother Sasuke will adore his nephew/niece and come home more often simply to be with them. Also Kisame will come around practically every day, and the kid will grow up learning an impressive arsenal of water jutsus to compliment the traditional Uchiha fire jutsus.
Kisame
The tall, somewhat awkward father that scares all of his kidâs friends with his intimidating physical appearance ... until he opens his mouth and they hear a god-awful dad joke come out. Any child of Kisameâs is going to be part shark, and therefore have some affinity for being in/breathing under the water. Kisameâs favorite pastime will be taking his baby (and yes, I do mean baby, as he tends to start his kid on this when theyâre young) out for long swims in the ocean. Kisame has always been self-conscious of his looks, so from the time the child is born he will spend a good deal of time teaching him or her to have self-confidence and love for him/herself. Like many of the others in the Akatsuki, Kisame never received much of a formal education, and therefore puts a lot of emphasis on his child going to a ânormalâ school and giving it their all when it comes to their studies. When the child proves him or herself physically capable, Kisame will start training with them on how to wield/control samehada, as well as fight with a variety of swords. It goes without saying that Itachi will be in Kisameâs kidâs life from the day theyâre born, and be their favorite âuncleâ.
An Analysis of Kisame Hoshigaki
I posted this before on my blog Luxurien before I deleted it [and someone, not me, remade it like two days later]. Iâm posting it again for jessi-mini so if youâve read this before⌠Itâs me who posted it.
To start this analysis we have to start with the canon material. What do we know about Kisame before he joined Akatsuki? Â Â
1. Â Â Â Kisameâs major point in his early missions was that he had to kill his comrades and it made him wonder about his purpose. Quote : âI knew that from the first time I had to kill my comrades â kill a Kiri ninja as a Kiri ninja. What does that make me? Am I a friend or foe? What is my purpose and my position? Where do I go? Where can I go? Iâm well aware that my entire life has been one giant lie.â Â Â
 a.    Okay letâs talk about this first. By killing his own comrades Kisame was forced to realize his own place. He was a Kiri ninja who was as disposable as the ninja he disposed of. In other words, he was a tool, an item that could be used and thrown away when it was deemed dangerous. The ninja he had to kill were loyal ninja who cared about Kirigakure, maybe not all of them, but at least some were. His reasons for killing the cypher corps. Was that they were too weak and would leak information. There was nothing else to it â it wasnât like they were selling secrets, spies or anything else. When the time comes, Kisame could and would be disposed of â likely for knowing secrets such as the very people he was asked to kill just like the case was for Kabuto. In psychology, Maslowâs Hierachy of Needs, Safety is second most important human need and he lacks this safety â he isnât safe and neither is anyone else in the godforsaken system that is Kirigakure and the ninja world. Major point of this paragraph: Kisame learns he is a disposable tool with no value to Kirigakure â answering âWhat does that make me?â  Â
 b.    The concept of friendship and allegiances. We see a Kiri nin be friendly with Kisame and he tells her itâs pointless. Why? Because he knows he will have to kill her. This means that he has no point in being friends with any of his fellow ninjas because they are all in the same boat as him they are all disposable. And soon, a ninja would likely come for his head. Everyone is an enemy. Can you imagine the world of loneliness that Kisame lived in here? Even surrounded by people he was completely and utterly alone. Iâm sure all of you are well aware of the fact that a major theme of Naruto is that being alone is the worst form of hell. Naruto and Sasuke lived in this loneliness and it shaped their lives. Itachiâs sacrifice is so meaningful because of the loneliness he was willing to live in for the rest of his life for Sasukeâs sake. In psychology, again Maslowâs Hierarchy of Needs, love and belonging are the third most important thing and as a person who is lonely just like Sasuke, just like Naruto, just like so many others in the Naruto world, Kisame lacks it. But the strange thing is no one really stops to think that Kisame could also be alone but he very much was. Imagine the pain of having to kill someone who tries to connect with you â even if he doesnât show it he mustâve been in massive pain killing that unknown Kiri kunoichi. In the end he is neither a friend nor a foe because he canât be either â if he was a foe he wouldnât be following Kiriâs orders but he was. Major point of this paragraph: Kisame is alone and suffering as much as the other Naruto characters, he is surrounded by people and yet none can be his friend nor his foe thus answering his second question.  Â
c. Â Â Â âWhere do I go? Where can I go?â â As a ninja he literally canât go anywhere because he will be hunted. Any ninja who leaves the village is basically killed for their knowledge, you canât just change your profession or retire as a ninja. You canât seek refuge in another country because they will use you and tear you apart. Not only is Kisame completely and utterly alone, he has no refuge anywhere. He canât go anywhere. Imagine being in a blank room and being locked in there with no exit, and no one to talk to. This was Kisameâs life. Â Â
d. Â Â Â âIâm aware that my entire life has been one giant lie.â â Okay this is very important. Through having to kill all his comrades, through having to watch as one lie after another is told to the Kiri ninjas and to himself he realizes that nothing is real. What does that mean though? Think of it like this: Kiri nin become friends as children, just imagine what a typical friendship is like anywhere. Then as academy students theyâre slammed and forced to kill their friends â the first lie they lived was the lie of friendship. Any second now the person you trusted with your life would kill you. Now moving on, the case with the cypher corps, those ninjas were all told, even if not explicitly, that they were ninjas and important parts of the Kiri family. They have this implicit trust in the other ninjas despite the events with the blood mist â they trusted Kisame before he had to kill them â that trust means that they were lied to in some way or form because they werenât expecting that. Kisame was lied to as well because with the realization of what he is â a disposable tool â he knew that his trust in his superiors was already unwarranted. In other words, since he cannot trust anyone with even basic things like not killing him, how can he trust more complex things about society or life? âIâm an important tool for this villageâ lie. âIâm a Kirigakure ninjaâ am I really, even after killing other Kirigakure ninjas? âIâm doing this because I have to, it was for the best of the villageâ but was it really, were their deaths really necessary, wasnât there another way, were those secrets of the cypher corps more important than their lives? In a world where he canât speak to any other being, canât believe in any other being, what is Kisame to believe in? Thatâs right, nothing. The entire world is a lie. If everyone was just honest with each other, would that be so hard? All this drama could be avoided. Major point of this paragraph: Kisame canât believe in his village, he canât see the truth, he is alienated and confused about why the system has to be this way.Â
e.    All of the above points come together for an important question that Kabuto voices â âWho am I?â Thatâs right, who is Kisame then? He needs to figure that out, learn his own way and create his own ninja way (just like Naruto). He rejects the idea of being a tool, just like Naruto. When the straw on the camelâs back is broken by the fact his superior was also a lying nincompoop, Kisame kills him, just tired of all this drama. He takes Samehada and gets ready to leave when⌠ Â
f. Â Â Â Omg more freaking drama. Turns out just when the system couldnât get any more broken, the Mizukage himself is actually a rogue Uchiha. Yeap, thatâs right every single person in Kirigakure, every single ninja was being lied to. Lie upon lie. At this point Kisame doesnât even look surprised heâs just like (he does look surprised when he realizes itâs Madara, someone who should be dead, but not surprised that the Mizukage is really controlled): Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
2. Â Â Â Kisame joined Akatsuki to create a better world, a world without lies. To him, a world where everyone could speak to eachother honestly would be one where people could feel safe because they would know who to trust and who not to trust. It would be a world without loneliness because you would know how the other person feels â you would know you could be friends. A world of honesty would be the answer to the broken ninja system, and being a tool of such a broken system was useless. In a way his motives were no different from Sasuke or Naruto or Obito or even Itachiâs. He went about his ideology and philosophy in a different way, but then again Itachi, Naruto and Sasuke all had their own differing ideologies for how to fix the broken system, just like Kisame. They all had their own ways of achieving this goal. Â Â
3. Â Â Â In his death Kisame believed the Konoha ninja were fighting for the wrong side, he, at this point, didnât care where they were from or what their purpose was. All he knew was that they were fighting for this broken system. I will come back to the importance of Kisameâs death and why it is so beautiful after I go into his time in Akatsuki and his relationship with Itachi â so letâs get to that. Â Â
4. Â Â Â I said earlier that this would be all canon â well with Itachi some of this is me filling in the blanks and not canon but I will be specific about which parts are and arenât so you can come to your own conclusions. Kisameâs relationship with Itachi is very important because it allows Kisame to fill his Hierarchy of Needs (Okay I realize Iâm referencing this a lot so Iâm going to link every âHierarchy of Needsâ to the wiki page so you can understand what itâs about if you donât know). By filling these needs, Kisame becomes content with life and lives for once, as a human. But more on that later â first letâs get to their relationship development. Â Â
a. Â Â Â Their first meeting, Iâll address everything they say in the order it comes up â the first thing is that Itachi notes that Kisame is lost and unable to find a place for himself. Why is it that Itachi can tell? Itâs because the story is the same no matter where you go. All ninjas are suffering under this oppressive system, it doesnât matter where youâre from. All ninjas are unable to find their place. Itachi knows already when Kisame says that there something to be said of those who kill their own comrades â he knows already that Kisame was likely pushed to do it. Why? Because otherwise he wouldnât have joined a group like Akatsuki, he wouldâve just killed it. He joined for some reason or another. He knows already that under this oppressive system even if Kisame wasnât pushed to do it, he had reasons for it. But more than likely, he was very much aware of the system the blood mist as itâs known had for raising ninjas, it was no surprise that someone would be disillusioned under such a world. Itachi, already, understands Kisame. This is like Sasuke and Naruto understanding each otherâs hearts right here. Seriously. Â Â Â
b.    The second thing to note is that Itachi tells Kisame âNo one who has killed their own comrades can find true peace.â And Kisame assumes that Itachi is there is no point then. Kisame: âThen I guess that means we are both damned to hell.â And Itachi clarifies and gives Kisame hope. He says âNo⌠You never know what kind of person you are until you die⌠Isnât that what dying is?â In other words heâs saying to Kisame that he isnât judging Kisame for his past, heâs saying Kisame can redeem himself and be someone who can find peace through his future actions.   Â
c. Â Â Â The third thing to note is Itachi saying âNo, we are humans not fish.â You know what Itachi is saying to the man who is known as the literal Monster of the Mist? Heâs saying âyouâre human, I see you as a person.â You know what heâs saying to the man who believes heâs disposable as a tool to Kirigakure? Youâre a human. You know what heâs saying to the man who is denied feelings, security, friendship? Youâre human. To the man who has to kill his own comrades and wonders what he is? Youâre human. Just damn. This is the best statement possible, it just tugs at my heartstrings seriously. Â Â
d. Â Â Â Okay now letâs go further into Itachi and Kisameâs relationship now that their first meeting is out of the way. What are some things we canonically see happening between them? Hereâs a list:
1. Kisame is concerned about Itachiâs health (and scolds Itachi on overuse of the Mangekyo Sharingan).
2. Itachi is concerned about Kisameâs health and doesnât let him fight battles he canât win (Kisame got permission from Itachi to fight Roshi, the four tails).
3. Kisame gets freaking permission from Itachi to do things, is this not big?
4. Kisame respects Itachi and acknowledges him as the stronger of the two (potential fight with Jiraiya).
5. Kisame is quick to agree with Itachi and admit fault. He admits fault to Itachi even if he feels defensive at first, heâs considering Itachiâs feelings. (After the fight with Roshi when Itachi scolds Kisame on taking too long is when this happens).
6. Kisame frequently asks Itachi if heâs alright with things (one example is when Deidara announces heâs going to kill Sasuke, Kisame asks if thatâs alright with Itachi. Yup heâs taking into account Itachiâs feelings for everything he does and others do to make sure Itachi is happy.).
7. When Akatsuki announces that Sasuke is dead and Kisame thinks Itachi may be crying he apologizes and tries to comfort Itachi. Damn.
8. After Itachi dies, Zetsu wonders whether Kisame will leave Akatsuki as if Itachi was the only reason Kisame stayed so long. Itâs so serious that Madara has to personally come reveal himself to get Kisame to do what he wants. Geez. 9. Okay this is non-canon it was in the games. In brief sparring session before Itachi goes to fight Sasuke, Kisame knows itâs his last time fighting Itachi and he actually says he will miss Itachi after all theyâve been through together. This is non canon but it can be assumed (headcanon) that Kisame knew that Itachiâs fight with Sasuke would be his last because there is no way Kisame was oblivious to Itachiâs illness and such. Â Â
e. Â Â Â Okay, we get it Kisame and Itachi have an amazing relationship, so what? Okay, Iâll tell you so what. Itachi fulfils Kisameâs Hierarchy of Needs is so what. Kisame feels secure enough to stay his partner so long, he finds friendship in Itachi, and itâs because of that that Kisame learns who he is and gains Esteem, respect for himself and for Itachi as humans and not tools. This is the something many of us actually struggle with but Kisame gains it because of Itachi. If you donât understand the importance of this please go read wiki on the Hierarchy. But to expand a little, gaining esteem is one of the âhigherâ needs that is less important than things like âlove and belongingâ and is rarer to find. Many people in todayâs world donât even get to this level much less in the ninja world. Â Â
5. Â Â Â Kisameâs death and self-actualization. This is just hands down the most beautiful death in the Naruto world in my opinion. Self-actualization is the highest need in the hierarchy, and is described as becoming everything that a person can be and desires to be. In his death, Kisame accomplished this because he became a man who stood for his beliefs and died for them. He died to create the ideal world he believed would benefit humanity. He died for his beliefs and sense of justice. He knew in his time of dying just like Itachi told him, exactly what he was, something he wasnât so sure of before. What he was was an amazing man who deserves every bit of credit that the major Naruto characters got. His sacrifice is as beautiful as theirs. Â Â
6.    Okay this is already way too long Iâll go into headcanons and more on his character and personality later, I barely got started here and itâs like 10 pages on word.  ~ Okay as promised in my analysis Iâll go into Kisameâs personality and headcanons. The first thing to note is that Kisame shares many shark-like characteristics not only physically but mentally as well. He also has a human side which is overwhelmingly dominant, but that doesnât mean he is immune to the shark side either. A list of canonically shark like traits he has: 1. Gills & ability to breathe underwater 2. The fin, webbed hands in shark mode 3. Blue-gray shark like skin 4. A muscular body - just as we imagine sharks to be muscular/large/predatory 5. Fish eyes 6. In shark mode he loses the hair on his head. Fish donât have hair. 7. Sharks donât hesitate to attack and rip apart their prey and neither does Kisams. He is sadistic (though in all fairness, any good shinobi should be like this and it could be a product of his upbringing. He is said to be the best in Akatsuki at bringing his prey back alive but no one said anything about his prey being in one piece, considering his attitude towards just cutting off Narutoâs legs when Itachi and Kisame first visited Konoha, itâs unlikely his enemies were in one piece). 8. Kisame likes seafood, Sharks eat smaller fish. Based on the canon statements above I have the following headcanons about Kisame: 1. Kisame doesnât have hair on his body except on his head, like how fish donât. 2. His skin not only looks like a fishâs but feels like one. He isnât warm but rather cold and clammy. In addition, his skin is made of denticles just like sharks, meaning unlike fish scales, itâs hard and rough and useful for protecting himself. His skin is tougher than a normal humans. 3. Like Kimimaro, he would have a hard time getting medical treatment because his body is slightly different from an average humans. 4. Like Kimimaro, Kisame inherited his traits, therefore the Hoshigakiâs are all shark like in nature. 5. Kisame likes the smell of blood and can smell it from afar, if an enemy is bleeding he can use his sense of smell alone to figure out where they are. 6. Like sharks, Kisame can regrow his teeth. 7. Kisame doesnât need to cook his meat, but can if he wants to. He has no preference one way or another. 8. Kisame is possessive and territorial. In his more human side, Kisame is incredibly intelligent and able to act quickly. Kisameâs intelligence in the databooks is 3.5 which is the same as Sakuraâs in part 1, and intelligence is her defining characteristic. In future databooks, Sakuraâs intelligence is 4. Still, itâs a testament to Kisameâs clearly above average intelligence. Kisame doesnât feel the need to rip apart every person he sees even if he enjoys fighting and ripping apart opponents. This is proven by the fact that he can and does restrain himself when Itachi asks him to. In addition, he has incredible self restraint and control as he is the best person in Akatsuki at bringing people back alive. This means he knows exactly how much energy or strength to use and he can actually put out the exact amount needed. As obvious by his attachment to Itachi, Kisame is incredibly loyal. However, that doesnât mean he needs to be obvious, affectionate or anything like that. He is cold, quiet and reserved until he gets to know someone, as shown by his standoffish nature in Kirigakure, but his more open attitude with Akatsuki members. Kisame is an optimist. He believes a better world is possible. He sees the good side in people, such as Tobiâs silliness. He isnât a frilly, kind person. Except maybe for Itachi but even then there are limits, mostly due to the fact that they are Shinobi. In an AU with different upbringings, this concept can be discarded. Random personality stuff, all headcanons: 1. Kisame is rarely late. He tends to do things on time, and he does his work correctly and thoroughly. 2. Kisame has his own biases, he is not an objective person, but he is as honest as he possibly can be and tries to remain unbiased. His biases appear the most with things he cares a lot about (lies, importance of imformation, ItachiâŚ). 3. He doesnât feel the need to follow the rules of he doesnât agree with them. Using Kohlbergâs stages of moral development, by the end of his life, Kisame has reached the Post- conventional stage. Read about Kohlbergâs stages of moral development here. Note that it is incredibly rare for someone to reach the post- conventional stage. 4. Despite his trust problems and reserved attitude in Kiri, he is a social person and likes to talk. This means his upbringing affected him into being reserved, but he isnât naturally that way. 5. Although he can understand others, he doesnât have sympathy for them. Itâs a good trait as a shinobi, but a negative in AUs. 6. Kisame is in the moment kind of person. He doesnât zone out or get lost in a train of thought. Itachi may, and itâll be Kisame who snaps him out of it. 7. He is vary of strangers and new people, all shinobi should be honestly, and so it takes a long time for him to open up to anyone. Keep in mind a lot of this has to do with trust issues and growing up in Kirigakure. 8. Kisame has a humorous side and does occasionally joke around. 9. Kisame would be muscular and fit in any AU as well as the Narutoverse, just like Gai would except maybe one where heâs malnourished and oppressed or something. 10. Kisame and Gai would be very good friends in an AU. 11. Kisame plays a game where he finds ways to break Itachiâs perfectly impassive and cold demeanor without offending or angering him. ââ Kisameâs history- Kisame was likely an orphan, but knew his parents, and they were killed during one of the many battles during the days of the Blood Mist. If he had parents they couldâve guided him in the right direction but he lost his sense of self and the world around him, meaning they werenât there to be a guide for him later in life. However, it should be noted that even if he lost his sense of self he didnât lose the ability to trust or respect others, because he has a lot of respect for Itachi. This to me states that if he did have parents, they were not abusive ones. His family may in fact have been the truth in his life before they were killed somehow, because otherwise Kisame wouldnât be able to trust at all after his experiences in Kirigakure. ââ More notes : Kisame ruthlessly killed his superior for being a traitor and a liar. Kisame viewed lies as a reason the world was the way it was, and sought to fix it. However, Kisameâs partner Itachi was the biggest liar in the whole series, Akatsuki was one big lie after another, Madara was a lie, the Eye of the Moon was a lie, Black Zetsu was a lie, all around lies. If Kisame found out about these things his response would differ per situation. For Itachi, he would see that Itachi was still loyal to his village, and see that he himself was the enemy. He would understand Itachiâs lie because it was a lie out of loyalty just like Kisame killing his comrades was out of loyalty (until he got sick of it). I think if he understood Itachiâs purpose he would let it go, unless Itachi continued to lie to Kisame afterwards. This is heavily due to the analysis part where itâs shown that Itachi is Kisameâs most important person because of the change he had on him. Also, even if Itachiâs reasons for Akatsuki were a lie, his relationship with Kisame wasnât. Even when he came back from the dead Itachi thought about Kisame and in life he worried about Kisame as well. If Itachiâs relationship with Kisame was the lie, rather than his reasons for Akatsuki, Kisame would have killed Itachi upon learning the information. With others in Akatsuki, Kisame would either kill them on learning the truth, or quit and wander in search of his own way to fix things. If he hadnât joined Akatsuki, Kisame would like have done the same thing Zabuza did to try to bring change- stage a coup de etat against the Mizukage and take charge. Finally things Kisame is not: 1. Mindless brute. 2. Someone who uses pet names. Just no. He isnât going to call you âangelâ or use the ending â-chanâ just no. 3. Violent without reason. This is just far too common a misunderstanding. 4. Kisame may curse but he wonât do it excessively or very often. Donât overdo it with the cursing, heâs not Hidan. 5. Frilly. The most he will do is ask something like âare you okay?â He will be uncomfortable with asking more or getting more into it. When he comforts someone it will be awkward like his attempt to comfort Itachi after Sasukeâs âdeath.â He isnât going to be overly kind about it. Seriously, heâs not frilly. Â

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hiii!!! i hope youâre doing okay 𼺠your writing is so cute and good <3. may i request hidanâs reaction after an argument w his S/O. it can be hc or one-shot, whatever you like~ ty already đ§ââď¸
aw thank you honey!! Iâm doing okay, just getting through the end of the semester. I hope you like it! đ
Shot thru the heart - Hidan hcs âĄ
arguments with Hidan are usually petty. heâs a bit of petty guy, lbr. he has a cutting tongue at the best of times, but when he gets in one of his moods he can turn that venom on you and say some pretty harsh things
which on one hand is nice because you donât often have serious fights, but on the other, it gets tiring sometimes having to deal with his naturally abrasive attitude
and he feels bad about it, he really does. but heâs not used to admitting heâs wrong, or owning up to his actions or any of that boring stuff
relationships are new to him, ya know? the life of a travelling cultist/ninja gang member doesnât leave a lot of time for romance after all
the great itachi uchiha everyone
can i get some deidara sfw and nsfw headcanons đ i love your writing đđ
ahh tysm!! absolutely you can, i love this pretty boy. đ
Deidara SFW + NSFW headcanons âĄ
// 18+ minors dni! //
SFW
Dei has a naturally intense and *ahem*, explosive personality. he doesnât know how to do things half way â and even if he was capable he wouldnât dare. so when he does start falling⌠well thatâs it
he loves deeply, and passionately and without restraint. just like his art, a relationship with him is going to burn bright and hot
not afraid to call you his and remind everyone of it. has absolutely no problem with PDA, heâs young and in love he couldn't give a single fuck about what anyone else thinks
can get a bit restless when he doesnât have anything to do, so expect to be on the go constantly
very playful! whether itâs a ride on one of his clay birds or a more traditional date like a dinner and a movie, he finds a way to spice it up so you never get bored
at the end of the day though he just wants to come home to you. to slump back on the couch after a long day of mischief and lay his head on your lap while you run your fingers through his long golden locks
a lil bit jealous. if he sees someone flirting with you heâll be there in a second, âthis guy bothering you, hn?â not above giving them an impromptu show of his art if someone makes you uncomfortable
expect lots of creative, handmade gifts from him. his favourite way to show affection is through his work, and he never tires of making pieces inspired by you
he would absolutely die if you asked him to teach you to sculpt, those bright blue eyes lighting up like one of his explosions as he drags you to his workshop
most people wouldnât put deidara and patient in the same sentence but when it comes to sharing his favourite hobby heâll be slow and gentle, explaining every little detail of the process as he sits behind you and guides your hands over the wet clay
Further convinced I made a good decision pairing my OC with Deidara, this is EXACTLY how it goes for them.
+ + +
I have no idea why but I'm getting emotional over this quote..
From: "Akatsuki Hiden: Evil Flowers in Full Bloom"
remember when deidara literally had an identity crisis because he had to change his aestheticÂ

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Sexuality hc for Akatsuki pleaseâ¤â¤
I hope I do as well as Admin Summers at this! Sheâs done a great job so far, but I snagged this because itâs the motherfucking Akatsuki how could I not snag it aaaah <3
List of sexualities here and here.
Iâm not as versed in this world as Admin Summers is, so forgive me if I say something inaccurate regarding the sexualities!
Akatsuki Sexualities
Pein/Yahiko/Uzumaki Nagato
Pein is asexual, becauseâŚheâs Yahikoâs dead body. Now in life, Yahiko considered himself really straight but could be considered bicurious. Heâd have dreams of sex with a man, which confused him at first (since he felt attraction to Konan), but before he could make a decision he died.
Nagato is demisexual! He also feels gender shouldnât get in the way of attraction to someone, and is open to all genders as a result.
Konan
Pretty straight, although has lesbian fantasies. I would say bicurious but Konan would have for sure experimented if it wasnât for the war.
Uchiha Itachi
Bisexual, but doesnât talk about it much. Heâs attracted to gendernormative male and female persons - more traditional he is - but he is open to both. While he considered Shisui his best friend, Itachi doesnât deny he did feel attraction towards him as he grew older. It sort of had to do with how Shisui influenced his life so selflessly.
Itachi is intensely attracted to women with a classic style and air about them. If theyâre down the earth the better. He loves the mysterious beauty feminine women have.
Hoshigaki Kisame
At first Kisame was straight because thatâs all he knew. Once he was introduced to different sexualities though, he began to look deeper. He stumbled upon some material about transsexuality and found himself wanting to know more, which led him to read about trans persons and genderqueer persons. He found that level of knowing oneself to be admirable and very attractive, finally reaching skoliosexuality.
Akasuna no Sasori
Oh god my beautiful beautiful Sassy <3 <3 SO I HAVE LOTS OF THEORIES ABOUT THIS MAN
At first I was like, âOh yeah, Sasori-sweetie is totally asexual. I mean, he threw out his dick for goodness sake!â But then I got thinkingâŚbefore he puppet-fied himself, he was probably sapiosexual but so self-absorbed in the fact that he was a genius that he felt he couldnât find anyone up to snuff for him. As he neared his goal of being a puppet, being so consumed in himself made him almost autosexual, as heâs a beautiful beautiful man damnit if I was as beautiful as him Iâd be autosexual however he lost interest in sex and eventually became asexual once becoming a puppet.
Deidara
I would call Deidara autosexual actually. Heâs so incredibly vain. And unlike Sasori, I can see him for real sexually attracted to his own self.
If we wanted to look past his vanity and say he was interested in others, heâs a pretty heteroflexible guy, pansexual even. Likes his women because they challenge him (if theyâre feisty) more than men, but feels that having sexual relations with a man isnât something to push away. Heâs also open to banging with other genders. I mean, itâs sex. Deidara doesnât turn this down. EVER (unless itâs art appreciation time).
Kakuzu
Letâs just say Kakuzu has had a hard time ever since Hidan stomped into his life (unwillingly). His partnerâs attempts to irk Kakuzu - telling him heâs gay for helping him (Hidan) out- lead him to wonder if he was truly straight, which led to him stealing a gay porn magazine (he didnât want to pay for that shit duh), which led him to find out that yeahâŚKakuzu is pretty damn straight.
He tried to give the magazine to Itachi at one point but the Uchiha burned it.
Hidan
IMO the Jashinist faith is chaste. But Hidan is still young and has sexual impulses. Deep down, he really is only sexually attracted to someone if he is very close with them. Yup, Hidan is demisexual - because it means the person is willing to put up with him and possibly even become a Jashinist. For Hidan that is the biggest attraction right there.
Tobi/Uchiha Obito
Tobi is Fictosexual. Deidara gave him a bunch of comic books to keep him occupied, unknowing that they were actually manga porn. Tobi doesnât believe that stuff actually happens between two people, so he only feels real attraction to the people in the comics as he doesnât realize itâs his sex drive kicking in.
Obito isâŚstraight. Sorry. Itâs the whole Rin thing.
Zetsu
White Zetsu is openly gay, while Black Zetsu denies it. Once this argument starts it wonât end for a couple of hours.
- Admin Rhia(Sorry for runing all your ships and blatantly flinging my love of Sasori around)
Akatsuki hear/say
// Check their idealtypes >>here<< - Admin Cactus \
Itachi Uchiha:
Say: âI want to make you feel good.â / âWhat are you imagining right now?â /âTake me away from my misery.â / âTell me more of what you needâŚâ
Hear: âItachiâŚslow down.â / âThis feels amazing..â / âGo fasterâŚfaster andharderâ / âIâm ready.â
Kisame Hoshigaki:
Already did him>>here<<
Hidan:
Hear: âGod Dammit..HIDAN..SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!â / âI love the way you move.â /âCan you not let Jashin watch? Itâs embarrassing.â / âCanât you do betterâŚ*moans*\
Say: âYou better watch out.â / âIâve never felt this good before.â / âThisis what you call sacrifice.â / Dirty talk and more profanities.
Kakuzu:
Hear: âYouâre so bigâŚâ / âCan money buy this enough pleasure?â / Moans.
Say: âYou may be worth the same as my moneyâŚâ / Softly moans / âOnce weâredone, lets find people for money.â /  âWhydo you make me feel so weak..?â
Deidara:
Hear: âSex is an explosion!â / âYouâre the best.â / âThat feels amazingâ /sounds effect
Say: âArt is not the only thing Iâm good at!â / Loudly moans / â[Y/N]!â / âDoyou like it? Because I do..â
Sasori: (omygosh, how am I suppose to do himâŚhe has no genitals lol.)
Hear: âSasoriâŚâ / âIâm so into this right now..â / âDo whatever you want withme..â /
Say: âAm I pleasuring you enough?â / âtell me what you want..â / âYou may bethe first and last perfect play puppet I like to make and hurtâŚâ
Konan:
Say: âYes. Yes!â / âRight thereâŚâ / âsoftly moans.â / âMassage me and giveme moreâŚâ
Hear: âYou look so perfect under or top on me..â / âDo you want more?â / âTellme what do you like.â
Pein:
Hear: âI love the way this position feelsâŚâ / âYouâre so strongâŚâ / âCome tome and enter.â / âMy body is like a grand opening..â
Say: âHow does it feel?â / âYou make the world go round.â / âYouâre perfect.â
Zetsu (how am I supposed to do him xD?â)
Hear: âYouâre so playful, but yet enjoyable.â / âCome and get me!â / âKiss meall overâŚâ / âWrap me..control me..â
Say: N/A
Tobi/Obito:
Hear: âhey..youâre cheating!â / âWhoa..youâre so muscular and big..â / âNofair!â / âloudly moansâ
Say: âLoudly moansâ / â[Y/N]!â / âYou make me feel safeâŚâ / âCan you be mineforever?â
Nagato:
Hear: âIâm ready.â / âDonât worry about it, Nagato!â / âMassage meâŚâ / âNAGATO!â
Say: âAre you okay?â / âIâm not hurting you..right?â / âTell me more whatyou wantâŚâ / âThe best feeling âŚâ
Can I ask how you think the akatsuki may smell like?
Kisame Hoshigaki: Smells just like a fish. Sometime, Kisameâssweat overpowers him. The smell of an armpit and sweaty private parts.
Itachi Uchiha: A little taste of woody/resinous, but overall,thereâs no distinctive smell. When he gets a chance to shower, he usesnon-scented soap/shampoo His nose is rather sensitive and the fact anythingstrong might kills his lungs.
Deidara: Burnt and clay. All those times heâs playing/experiencing explosion andclay, he forgets to wash himself.
Sasori: He is the smell of a craftsman/mechanic. Tools, wood and sweat. Though,his cloak/clothes would probably have the strong smell of tools and wood.
Hidan: The scent of blood, war smell and dirt (since heâs always laying down on the ground to do his worship)
Kakuzu: Blood. Blood. Blood. Once he takes the heart of his opponents, he justwipes his hands on his cloak and be done with it. But when Hidan complainsabout his rotten smell, he cleans himself with non-scented things or justwater.
Konan: Smells like laundry detergent. She tries to maintain her hygiene. Sheâsall about that perfume and floral smells.
Nagato: Smells like a regular clean guy with a hint of rain smell.
Black zetsu: Nothing but a tree bark smell.
White Zetsu: There are times where he smells like a dirty sewage. Andthere are times (when black zetsu yells at him for his nasty odor) he smellslike sweet (vanilla, chocolate, caramel, etc)
Tobi: Tries to stay away the decayed or pungent smells. But sometimes it getshim. On good days, he tries to smell like laundry detergent.
What ideal types for each Akatsuki member?
// phewâŚthese took me forever! â Admin Cactus \
Ideal Types:
Itachi Uchiha:Honesty, commitment, and being aplomb (self-confidence). Those three characteristicsare what Itachi is looking for when finding a woman of his choice. Matter offact, anything that falls under the list of âBeing a Great Leader.â Itachiwants someone who can guide him through the things he is either having troublewith or simply canât go alone to which he will return the favor. Â Letâs face it, someone who can be the samelevel in understanding. Beauty, fashion, and probably unrelated ninja skills donot get his attention. Those are the least of his worries.
Kisame Hoshigaki:Acceptance, loyalty, and intuition. Finding a woman will be hard for him. Beingborn into a shark skinned body and being place under a giant lie throughout hislife, he wants to find someone who can be accepting with open arms even itkills them (those fish gills!). Intuition plays a big part in Kisame when hewas a ninja serving his duty in Kirigakure. When going on missions, he willsecretly play a side mission for himself to see if the person he is with, worththe staying. He wants to know if the person is willing to take charge underhigh pressure. If not, then he might just kill that needy person duringmissions. Loyalty comes in play when he is officially with that person 24/7.
Hidan: Religious,sacrificial, and sassy. There arenât many women who seek into Hidanâs eyes ashe is always clingy to his Jashin. However, if there was a woman for him, thosethree qualities will be best fit for him in order to slightly pull away fromhis Jashin moment. If the person he likes was religious, maybe they will understandthe benefit into worshipping a God of their belief unlike other people heencountered. Maybe he would even covert them into a Jashinist! Once they are(or not) converted, he will go into letting them know that sacrifice is a bigthing for him and Jashin. Without sacrifices, they would not know truehappiness in this Shinobiâs world. Lastly, sassiness is somewhat a humor sideto have. This is where Hidan will most likely tease the person for theirstupidity, but likes it in a way. Â (Hesecretly enjoys their charm!)
Kakuzu: Pecunious,mercenary, and money-oriented. Â Letâsface it, if his eyes go âcha-ching!â then the person is worth it. There is nodoubt that for someone to physically attract the mighty and greedy Kakuzu betterknow what money-making and living the life full of money is! The person has to,without a doubt is in the same level as him. No questions ask. Though, Kakuzucan be a little kind and maybe throw in some exceptions.
Deidara: Ambition,listener, and originality.  With thesetypes of characteristics, the person might explode Deidaraâs heart! Of course,being super duper in love with art and conveying to people that art is anexplosion will assure a spot in Deidaraâs heart. Same interest as him equals tobeing more close to that person. In a way he might be possessive.  Because he is very limited into his creation(birds / dragons looking ones) he hope to find a person who can generate alarge number of ideas or solutions to problems and questions, such as how tomake bigger and louder BANGS! By the way, the person must also display a greatdeal of curiosity about his arts, because reallyâŚDeidara is one talkativeblonde!
Sasori: He is notany less different from Deidaraâs ideal type. Though, other characteristic he seeksin a woman is independence, time management, and has the requirement of defthands. Letâs make it clear that the person without a question understand hisimpatience personality. He will repeatedly tell that person that he hateswaiting and/or keep others waiting. It is NOT HIS CUP OF TEA! If the personfails to cooperative his standard into their âlateâ life then so be it. Noteven worth his time and puppet life. Other than that, Sasori passion forpuppets is one of his prize possessions. He hopes to find someone who iswilling to take interest into his puppets and make it something better, thoughthe person must value independent. The person must be on their own when heâsnot around to help them craft / build puppets.
Konan: Trustworthy,humorous, and intelligent. Similar to Itachiâs ideal type, she believes with thethree additional qualities of being a great leader, the Shinobi World will havea brighter future. Konan loves looking up to a man who she sees a future with.There must be a strong connection between her and the person she loves. This iswhere the ideal type comes in play when she has the tendency to blush a lot! Theimperfect person best believe that she wants someone who she can vent andbecome his partner in crime in anything that he wants to do. (Not somethingirrational though!). With Konan being the type of female she is, she also wantssomeone who is similar to herâcheerful, bright, and compassionate. SOMEONE WHOCAN BE HER ANGEL and LIFT HER SPIRIT! Might be a lot to ask, but any THREE characteristicswill win her heart for sure.
Zetsu: Carefree,talkative and playful is what white Zetsu looks for. In contrast, serious andbrainy will capture the black Zetsu! For someone who can be as silly as thewhite zetsu equals to a supply of unforgettable memories! Though, Zetsu alsopossess these types of traits, his ideal person better have enough energy to keepup with him. As wild as he, he can go on forever and forever, talking aboutstupid stuff. Black Zetsu on the other hand values the life of obedient, trust,and honesty. Since he has those within himself, he wants the same exact thingfor the person he likes.
Nagato Uzumaki:Lively, outgoing, and a dreamer. Nagato likes women who are these types becauseheâs not very talkative. But he is a great listener! He also wouldnât likeanyone that seems too perfect. He wants to be able to take care of his personand achieve their precious dreams that ought to make in the Shinobiâs world. Additionally,if the person has a great sense of humor and generous, most definitely have aspot in his heart! He thinks people like these are a great way his burden lifecan be lifted. It really means a lot to him.
Pein(Yahiko):Morality, public etiquette, and communication. Communication is a big thing forPein as he is always struggling with public speaking. So any help from hisfavorite person will make him any happier. It is not said, but he finds anywomen attractive when they do the simplest thing such as picking up trash or helpinga little old lady find her way because he believes that those arenâtrecognizable.
Tobi/Obito:Determination, clingy, and dreamer. He wants someone to be comfortable whenhanging out. It really doesnât matter with age, as long as she seems like a manto him, and he seems like a woman to him. Â He also wants someone who he can tell hisdream to and protect it. Someone who is extremely determine that their dreamscan be achieved. Another thing to note is that he values smiles. If the personcan smile as brightly and big as the moon, then the person is a keeper to hisheart. It makes the world go round for him. Oh yeah! If he were to date, hewants someone to be obsessed with him, good at taking care of kids (he wants tosee a future!) and being sexy at night.
What dere types would the Akatsuki be?
 Akatsuki as Dere types:
Diedara- Tsundere
Itachi- Kuudere
Kisame- Kamidere
Tobi- Deredere
Pein- Kuudere
Nagato- Mayadere
Konan- Dandere
Yahiko- Undere
Orchimaru- Mayadere
Kakuzu- Oujidere
Hidan- Oujidere
Zetsu- Undere
Kabuto- Yangere
Madara- Kamidere
Sasori- Mayadere
Obito- Mayadere

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What would the Akatsukis sleeping poisition be with their s/o? Do they cuddle, spoon, sleep in a tangle of limbs, e.t.c.?
Itachi Uchiha:
He likes being the bigspoon. It will assure him that his partner is safe and secure. Thereâs noescape in his muscular muscles.
Also like the nuzzleposition, where his partner rest their head on his chest or vice versa.
For quick naps, if hispartner has a free lap, he wonât hesitate to lay his head on top of it.
Kisame Hoshigaki:
Since Kisame likesplaying hard to get, he likes the chase position, where his partner his chasinghimâalmost like a spoon position.
The leg hug/tangle- hethinks itâs funny to play footsie.
Peaceful balanceposition- where both partners established trust, security and closeness. Ableto sleep without cuddling closely or touch each other to sleep.
Deidara
The space hog-sometimeshe forgets he is sharing the bed. Therefore, taking majority of the spot.
The eye-to-eye cuddleposition. Always wanting to compliment his partnerâs eyes as much as possiblewhile sleeping.
Sasori
The back kisserposition, where their lower back is touching.
The heartfelt headlocksnuggle, where Sasori likes sliding his head into his partnerâs arm, touchingtheir chest so he can feel/hear his partnerâs heartbeat.
The leg hug/tangleposition
Hidan:
Unraveling knotposition. Hidan likes being close to his partner, but do need to separate for awhile.
Fore-playing cuddlepositionâsometimes, it can get a little aggressive and wild.
Kakuzu:
The Liberty position. Justa little gap in between.
The loose spoonâa littletouch indicates his partner is still there sleeping with him.
Same as Kisame, peacefulbalance position.
Pein/Yahako
Nuzzle position
The honeymoon touchpositionâfacing his partner and touching them. The wanting of closeness andaffection.
Really loves laying onhis partnerâs lap
Konan
Really like being thelittle spoon.
The nuzzle position
The titanic position-aposition where both cling to each other and are going down similarly to thetitanic sinking.
Nagato
Prefers to bethe big spoon
Also the titanicposition
Zetsu
The space hog (whitezetsu)
The back kisser (blackzetsu)
Obito/Tobi:
The tangle positionâthe extremelyintimate position. Tobi likes teasing his partner and looking into their sparklingeyes.
Prefers to be the littlespoon.
The fore playing cuddleposition.
Akatsuki react to their s/o as a doctor âŠ(︜â˝ď¸ś)âŠ
Modern AU-ish
DEIDARA
He absolutely loves it!
âTheyâve got the smarts, Iâve got the arts, hn!â
He needs you to heal all those second degree burns he gets from his sudden bursts of âartistic inspirationâ.
There are times you tell him to ACTUALLY GO TO THE HOSPITAL but he always says, âWhy pay hospital bills when Iâve got you!â then proceeds to writhe in agony.
He rubs it in the other memberâs face that he has his own personal doctor and refuses to share your excellence with any of them.
Actually didnât talk to you for a week when he caught you sewing Hidanâs hand back on.
SASORI
Immediately is intrigued.Â
He always asks you for stories as soon as you get home from work and for random medical terms.
He makes you help with with his puppets, making sure heâs getting the anatomy just right.
He also uses you as a reference for making poisons (what certain things would do to the nnervous system, what causes quick paralysis, etc.)
(You make sure you have all the antecdotes though).
HIDAN
Now I donât do anything NSFW on this blog butâŚ. Doctor/Patient roleplay
Except you have to keep telling him that he canât actually be bleeding out on the bed in order to do the deed.
Heâs actually very impressed since he knows a bit of medical stuff himself.
He randomly quizzes you on the human body and terminal diseases because,âI gotta make sure my baby is staying sharp.â
âNo, Hidan, you canât use the scalpels for your rituals.â
âAND NO I WONâT PERFORM HEART SURGERY ON YOU, STOP THAT.â
KAKAZU
Meh.
Heâs pretty stoic about it, more intrigued by your paycheck.
âMaybe I should be a doctor. Iâve stitched up Hidan more times than I can count.â
He also gets you to steal hearts for him and if you refuse, heâll steal your pass and take them himself.
Itâs always a pleasant surprise to show up to work, get locked out, go home to fetch your key, and find three hearts defrosting on your bed.
ITACHI
Heâs so proud of you.
He loves to watch you work, especially if youâre woorking on a rowdy patient and you manage to keep your composure while getting the job done.
We all know this boy has some serious health issues and YOU know that, but god forbid Itachi will ever admit it. He doesnât want to steal you from important patients.
You sneak antibiotics in his tea anyway.
He knows this, but needs it too much to actually fuss about it.
KISAME
Kind of disappointed you arenât a vet :/
Still asks you to work on his sharks anyway.
âRelax, you can pretend itâs a human. Same organs. More or less.â
Honestly, he loves to show you off like Dei.
âBabe, tell them about the time my shark had the flu.â âI sent him to an actual vet.â âGenius.â
PEIN
Doesnât really care, not going to lie.
Although he observes you fixing up his other bodies because he likes to learn.
You can tell heâs interested in all the minor details, so you casually feed him information.
NAGATO
AU where you and Nagato fall in love because he was your patient.
Sick boy needs doctor s/o.
You prescribe him his medicine and makes sure he takes it even though he FIGHTS. NAGATO YOU ARE DYING.
KONAN
I feel like sheâll show you off as well.
Geniuely loves listening to your mini lessons on sicknesses.
Actually listens to your medical advice.
Sheâll look up these totally gruesome, ugly pictures of injuries, sicknesses, stds, etc., and show them to you just to ask if you seen anything like them.
*picture of a severed foot* âHave you ever seen this?!â âYeah. Hidan. All of the time.â
Youâre her WebMB.
TOBI
Confused as all hell.
Asks you about whatever and zones out five seconds into the explanation.
Asks for the coolest stories.
He feigns sickness and injuries just to get special attention. Heâll manage to get three physicals in one week.
Once you pretended to find something wrong and demanded a blood test. You whipped out the needle and you didnât see him for days.