🌹Life Is Hard🥀

dude.

(Levi Ackerman x Reader)

Masterlist // Playlist

A/N - I lied, I’m actually getting way more comfortable with this one now. and sorry, this doesn’t have a name yet since I’m horrible with that. if you have any suggestions feel free to send them in. 

Warnings: mentions of sex. Part two will definitely have more triggers though, so heads up incase you’re not into that stuff. There’s going to be smuts and angst throughout this mini-series. 

“They’re back! They’re back,” your favorite regular of the small cafe you worked at yelled as he leaned in the open doorway at the storefront. “The scouts are back!”

The coffee cup you were in the middle of pouring almost overflowing due to the frozen state of shock the news gave you. You should have been expecting it any moment, but it never fails to catch you by surprise when they finally make it back. It had been a little over a week since the scouts left on another dangerous mission. It had been even longer since you had seen any of them, especially Levi. Though this was exciting news, it was also unbelievably nerve-wracking. With the return of the scouts always came the horrific news of the ones that would never return.

By the time you and your employer, Amelia, ran out into the streets to welcome the Scouts back, most of the town was already lined up. In the far distance, you could see a group of horses, but they were still too far away to make out anyone’s face yet. Whispers could be heard from every civilian. Some looking for their family members and friends. Some were there to show support for their efforts and thank them for their bravery. Others were there to simply be nosey. As someone that preferred to keep to themself more often than not, not too many people knew why you were out there, but those closest to you did.

“Don’t worry,” Amelia said as she clasped a hand down on your shoulder as you stood on your tippy-toes trying to get any bit of a view that you could, “I’m sure he’s fine. He always is, isn’t he?” she gave genuine smile that put you at ease for at least a brief moment.

The fall of Wall Maria was the only time you had seen Levi in action, and it was only for a brief moment at that. It was the scariest day of your life but still, you couldn’t help but smile at the thought of how your knight in shining armor swooped you up out of nowhere, bringing you as close to the gate for Wall Rose as he could. Just as fast as he had appeared, he was fleeing off into danger again without a second thought. No longer in your sight, but permanently anchored in your heart from that moment forward. Any feelings you thought you harbored for the Captain of the Survey Corps solidified and your heart dropped all its previous reservations. The two of you weren’t officially together, but you were his and he was yours in every bit of the sense. He was new to the Scouts at that time and you were new to the heartaches that would come with that, for the both of you.

Like many other refugees from Wall Maria, you had nothing to your name after the attack. No family inside Wall Rose meant no home. Jobs were limited as well, given the number of people moving into the area at once. A stroke of luck would have it that you met Amelia almost immediately upon your arrival. She was more than generous with her offer for you to work for her at her cafe inside Wall Sina after she saw you eyeing a coffee shop nervously. She started up a conversation with you about her favorite kinds of tea and by the end of the conversation, she left with you in tow. With her help, you were able to make a decent living and find a place to live. Unintentionally she also helped you grow closer to the man of your dreams.

Levi was a busy man, but being in Wall Sina meant you were much closer in distance to him when the opportunity arose. It wasn’t uncommon for him to stop in unexpectedly during your shifts for a quick cup of tea. When he was busy planning something extra strategic for the scouts, he would sometimes spend hours at one of your tables. Amelia would supply him with free pastries at those times, making sure he felt welcome and at ease. Despite that, she often tried to appear agitated with the man when it came to his relationship with you. Her heart was in the right place though. She and her family had grown to become family to you and she worried that you would one day get lost in the life that was sure to come from being associated with the Survey Corps. She rarely voiced it, but you could tell she wanted Levi and you to end up as happy as any couple aspires to be. She joins you to welcome the Scouts back every time, with the hope that love continues to prevail right before her eyes.

Just when you thought your heart may seriously explode from waiting, he appeared. Finally spotting Levi, he looked lifeless inside. His eyes were empty and his body seemed to move on it’s own. This was not the first time you had watched him return like this. Each time it broke your heart. How many times would those monsters break his already fragile spirit? It was a cruel lifestyle but someone needed to do it, and you knew Levi wanted to. At times like this you couldn’t help but think that maybe the Underground would have treated him better.

As if he knew exactly where you would be, his line of sight shifted to immediately make eye contact with you once he was within decent range of the coffee shop. Giving him a soft smile, you subtly let him know how relieved you were he made it back safe. Not breaking eye contact once, he gave you a subtle nod in return. This lasted only a moment until he eventually rode off with his crew following behind closely.

“Honestly, would it hurt him to stop a moment to spare you more than a glance?” Amelia scoffed as she watched Levi and his team disappear.

“You would need to take some time to yourself too if you had gone through what he just did,” you defended him. This had never bothered you before and you refused to ever let it. This was not the time to be a selfish brat. The emotional destress he must be going through was unfathomable to someone like you and it was only fair that you let him come to you when he is ready. You know that he will eventually. He always does. And you will always welcome him with open arms.

“I think you could help him relax real well if he would just think like a normal man for once,” she eye rolled excessively as she held the door for you to enter back into the shop.

“AMELIA MARIE!” your face flushed red realizing what she meant, “He needs to rest up!”

“So!” she smirked, enjoying the embarrassment she was putting you through. She didn’t miss the fact that you didn’t deny the act itself, just the appropriate timing. “You can do all the work! Don’t try to tell me that you don’t want to jump that man’s bones every time you see him.”

“Why don’t you worry about your own husband?” you squealed covering your face as you rushed inside past her.

“Now there’s a man that’s had too much rest.” she scoffed at the thought of the husband she often tormented but loved undoubtedly. “He could learn a thing or two from your Levi”

“Oh now my Levi is an example to men all over?” you playfully throw sarcasm back at her. 

“No,” she stuck her chin up as if she was repulsed at the idea, “Just to my good for nothing  husband.”

“Hey now, be nice,” you laughed at her attitude. “We both know you don’t mean that.”

“You’re right,” she giggled before turning to you with a more serious expression. “Let me know when he finally comes around. I’ll give you a day or so off so you can spend some quality time with him.”

genre: smut

summary: having assumed you ended things on good terms, you’re clueless as to why the Captain keeps treating you roughly. when you visit his office late in the night, you’re given the closure you least expect.

tw: rough, hate/make up(?) sex

wc: 8,122 yet again (‘◉⌓◉’) how even?

You fucking resent your exes. Yes, you do. They can be the pettiest creatures in the whole world if they wanted. Talk about the epitome of being a dickhead. And that one certain Captain is no exception. He’s the worst of the worst, actually.

You sigh exasperatedly as you dispose of the horses’ wastes for the nth time. Yes, you’re on stable duty yet again just for removing your jacket and wearing a tank top as undershirt, on a hot, summer day. Everybody’s complaining about the scorching weather, and you could say he shouldn’t blame you for wanting to be comfortable, but the Captain chooses to be a prick, saying it’s a violation nonetheless.

You’re not that naive to not know that he’s especially going hard on you for some reason. Heck he’s not even ordering anyone else around but you.

“It’s fucking burning and this top is decent enough for a uniform!” you murmur to yourself like a child, scooping the last dump while utterly vexed. Lately, he just keeps going for the littlest mistakes and you can’t help but suspect that he must be holding some kind of grudge against you. Whatever it is, you have zero ideas other than one.

You finish refilling the water buckets and replacing the hay with new ones. Finally done with your work, you close your eyes shut, breathing in the fresh air. You then stand straight and stretch out your limbs with all your might, spinning your head to crack some stiffened bones in the neck. After hearing a faint popping sound, you moan in satisfaction. Surely, this should be enough for a clean freak like him.

You give your work a glance one last time, admiring the neatly scoured walls and clean flooring all done by you. You want to think that the horses are grateful with what you did to their stalls as they neigh. Atleast someone’s got to thank you, right?

You steer to leave the stables and head inside. A good shower can make up for all the trouble. With that thought in mind, you go for your quarters to bring a spare uniform with you in the bathroom. Once you’ve stripped off your sticky clothes, you start to wash yourself. The cold liquid hitting your sweaty skin feels refreshing, and at that moment, you decide to stay for longer than one should take in showering. You earned this anyway, cleaning the stables all by yourself first thing in the morning.

Rinsing off the last of soap from your body, you’re left with nothing to do but keep drowning yourself with water. Staring into the wall, the lack of task makes you think back to the past. It’s actually been two whole months since you broke up with Levi. You still remember clearly how you ended it, stating how you don’t really seem like lovers anyway and how it could only hinder both your work and his. It wasn’t that taboo having a relationship with a higher ranking officer like how you thought it might be to other people’s eyes, but it isn’t the best either. All you can say is that you know what you did was for the best. But why is he acting like that? Unable to find a reason, you groan and brush aside the thoughts.

Call it slacking off, you don’t really care, but you spent a good one hour or so in there. All freshened up, your mood improved a bit. But just when you’re about to take a turn leading to the mess hall, the devil himself shows up infront of you.

His brows are furrowed as he leans his back against the wall with both arms crossed, infamous steel grey eyes, that though unreadable, pierces into your soul easily. What now? You want to roll your eyes so bad but force yourself to give a salute instead. Act up and he’ll make you clean the whole headquarters for fuck’s sake.

“Sir,” you firmly call. Levi eyes you from head to toe and quickly notices from your damp hair that you enjoyed yourself with a leisurely bath.

“While you were relaxing, everybody had hand-to-hand combat on the training grounds,” he says, obviously waiting for an acceptable explanation from you. His eyes are locked on you immensely, it’s like you’re being rooted to the ground. Great, now you missed out on a whole training session. Caught in action, even.

“Sorry, sir. It took me hours cleaning the stables and wanted to tidy myself before lunch,” you explain truthfully, staring straight ahead. A wave of silence takes over for a couple seconds as he stares you down and you avoid his gaze. It suddenly hits you that there’s only the two of you in the hall, making his stare feel more intimidating than ever, and it irritates you so much.

Part of him accepts your reason, really. Being one for good hygiene, it’s good that you chose to be presentable before facing food, but still, there is no need to take too long in doing so. Besides, it’s also not an excuse to skip training, which he cannot condone.

“Laps after lunch. No stopping until I say so,” he curtly orders and finally walks past you, leaving you alone and frustrated. He definitely knows that you just hopped out of shower and decides to butcher that. How wonderful.

A few more seconds go by and you’re standing in the very same place, feeling your blood boil slowly. Your eyes shut in annoyance, fists clenching. A groan escapes your mouth as you proceed to the dining area, readying yourself for the torturous hours.

—

About a hundred and who-knows-how-many laps later, you could feel your knees trembling. It’s only a matter of time before you collapse for endlessly running under the searing heat of the sun. With a flock of birds chirping as if to accompany you, and warm air whipping past your cheeks as you jog ahead, step by step, your hatred towards the Captain grows bigger. You can’t say he’s being irrational, but this is just too much. He’s obviously using his power to throw the book at you for some unknown reason.

Without realizing, you fall to the ground, still fully conscious but vision blearing. Lying on your side, you hunch over to curl yourself into a ball, puffing and blowing like crazy to catch your breath. Damn it, you’re exhausted.

On the other hand, the infamous ravenhead observes you from a distance. When you halted before he gave his word, he clicks his tongue and makes his way to your dead beat form. Before you know it, Levi is already looming over you. Of course, it’s like the situation couldn’t get any worse!

As much as you want to defend yourself right away to avoid further punishment, you’re taken aback once he offers you a hand to which you accept, but not before gawking at it dumbfoundedly for a good ten seconds, though. You didn’t know he still has a little kindness inside him, or maybe he’s guilty?

“I don’t recall permitting you to take your precious time and rest, cadet,” he informs, voice stone cold. Oh, yes, just when you thought he still has kindness left inside him.

Your whole body is cramping, but there’s no way in hell you’d let him see any more of what he’s done to you, so you try to conceal it. You fight him back with a glare, “Sorry, sir. Maybe if you didn’t give orders after orders I wouldn’t naturally collapse,” your tone is not even a bit obedient.

You have no excuses left, nor do you want to just give in and admit your mistake either because it will only probably feed his power tripping ego, and to hell with that.

His eyebrows twitch, figuring you’ve no intentions to reason with him. Your stare conveys what you want to say to him that you choose not to put into words; you don’t care at all. He’s acting like a child and you’re not up for that. He might be your superior, but there’s no damn way his actions could be justified.

“Barking like a dog, I see.” He eyes you one last time before taking his leave. Once he’s turned his back on you, your mouth agapes, thinking full well that he’s finally letting go of his obnoxious demeanor. No more orders? To say the least, it was too early to celebrate.

“Dish duty after dinner.” You wish you hadn’t heard it.

—

You went along with the assumption that the Captain already lifted your former punishment and not long after, dinner arrives.

“What are you eating?” Levi questions, one brow raised and staring you down. He gives your cup of tea and half a bread a scrutinizing look. He’s sure as hell there aren’t any walls breached recently resulting to food shortage, so why are you having almost nothing?

Meanwhile, you guess that now he just wants to meddle with your business. You swear, once you find him alone, you’ll absolutely grab the chance to kill him. Or so you want to think. He should be thankful you’re not one to cause a scene.

“I’m on a diet,” you shortly inform before sipping on your tea. Not really. You’re just drained of appetite and all intention to eat because of everything he’s made you done.

He doesn’t seem to like your answer and when you give him a glance, his face seems to have a permanent scowl written on it. “You call that a diet? That’s not healthy,” he says.

“Now you care?” you try your hardest to not roll your eyes. Bantering with the Captain is already turning a few heads enough, you don’t want to stir any more commotion.

“I don’t need a malnourished soldier around here, cadet, so you better start eating in proper proportions,” his tone is sharp and strict, as if indicating he was in charge and you’re just one to follow, which pisses you off the most. How can he treat you roughly one moment then act all concerned the other? At this point, you can’t even believe that you used to go out with him in the past.

“Well, it won’t be quite some time before I go malnourished with you ordering me around like a dog. Now if you will excuse me, sir, I have dish duty to attend to,” you sass him out unenthusiastically in one go before collecting your dirtied china and heading to the kitchen.

The way his grip on his teacup tightens doesn’t escape your attention, and you try to stifle in a smirk, unsure of sure how to react. You finally got back at him in a way, but you’re not entirely certain if it’s a good thing or a bad one.

—

A week has passed since you talked back to the Captain. Lucky you he didn’t reprimand you forthwith, but not exactly lucky because his power tripping has only worsened since then. It took you another stable duty after dinner because of “staying outside for too long, it’s almost curfew”, as the Captain said, for you to finally realize you’ve had enough of his bullshit and it’s about time you confront him in his office.

It might be past midnight for all you know, and the dead silence is eating up the corridors that you wonder for a brief moment if he’s still awake. Considering him, he most probably is.

Not even bothering with a knock, you set foot inside his study. As if to confirm your thoughts, your eyes immediately dart to his form sitting on his chair with paperwork. Even if it’s not all that bright inside his office with only a lone candle and the midnight moon serving as light, you quickly catch sight of his tired eyes and the bags darkening under them. He’s loosened up like he’s up for an all-nighter, discarding the jacket and leaving his partially unbuttoned dress shirt on.

You knew it, he still hasn’t rid himself of his bad habit that is overworking. It doesn’t matter to you now, though. Maybe in the past you would’ve given him a little scolding for it, but that’s not even what you’re here for in the first place.

Remembering your sole purpose of being here, your glare hardens. You choose to stay infront of the door right after locking it for you don’t know what you might do if you get close to him. Aggravated to the brim, you don’t even bother putting up a soldier front and a half-assed salute.

“Barging in your superior’s office in late hours past curfew without even stating your name and business, you’ve got some guts,” he comments, extinguishing his table candlelight with a pinch of his fingers. The moment you laid your eyes on him with a prickly gaze, he’s already identified who you are and what you’re here for.

“Cut me some slack, will you?” you complain bluntly, the clear disrespect in your voice ringing. Levi raises his head and takes note of your attire. You’re on your nightwear, barefooted. Insane brat, he thinks. You’re surely in for an informal visit. He cocks a brow and decides to listen to your rambling.

You take his silence as a sign to continue. “I’m surprised you can get so childish, Captain. Look at you, loads of paperwork on your table but still got nothing decent to do other than abuse your comrades,” you hiss despite having a difficult time creating eye contact thanks to the darkness.

In a flash, he’s made his way across the room and stopped just face to face with you, the glowing full moon casting abstract shadows over his raging expression.

“What the fuck are you going on about?” he fumes, fist slamming into the wooden door, locking you in place. He’s slightly impressed you didn’t so much as flinch.

But he couldn’t bear it. Something about you visiting him in his office in the middle of the night ticks him off to ridiculous measures. It ignites a memory he detests.

His face is dangerously close, making you feel like you’re about to fall on your knees due to intimidation. You fight it back, refusing to show him you’re affected.

“Oh nothing, just really delighted that my ex, who unfortunately happens to be the Captain, is exploiting his rank and commanding his subordinate to his wish,” you spit straight into his face, sarcasm laced gracefully in your tone. He has no right to be furious when you’re the one who’s been suffering under his irrational commands.

“Are you complaining?” he asks. You’d think he’s being oblivious if not for the fact that he’s currently towering over you, eyes as unreadable as ever.

“I didn’t know you were one to hold a grudge against people who dumped you, Levi,” you frankly say, dropping the honorific. You’re sick of beating around the bush, you just want answers. You see the pique brewing in his beautiful eyes.

“What do you really want? Is this because I left you?” you continue upon seeing him open his mouth. You’re definitely pushing his buttons now, interrupting him when he’s about to speak. There’s a limit to how much you can rub him up the wrong way, but right now, you’re just as pissed as he is.

“You were the one who wanted to be in a relationship. You’re a grown woman, you should have known what you gotten yourself into,” he seethes, shutting you up for a couple moments. He actually confessed that it was all about the past?

You admit, you really were the one to make the first move way back. You initiated the motives, which makes it all the more reasonable for you to end it. Right?

“It’s because things weren’t working out, Levi. You should know when and where to end things!” you argue. There’s no way in hell you’ll let him have his way. You genuinely thought you ended things with him maturely.

“You should have understood that I can’t be with you all the time. I have important matters to attend to,” he says, looking straight into your eyes, fierce gaze burning into your soul. You fail to notice how your breath keeps hitching ever since he walked up to you. Your knees are slowly turning into jelly under his menace.

No, you can’t waver. “How irresponsible can you be? Picking a petty reason to end it even,” he adds.

“Alright, high and mighty Captain. Sorry I hurt that little ego of yours, but what’s done is done, so can you stop being such a dick to me now?” you roll your eyes, not even the least sorry.

“For the record, things were working out. You’re just an impatient brat,” he adds calmly. A brat? He’s the one acting like a kid here if anything!

“It’s all in the past! And that doesn’t explain why you’re burning me to the ground with your punishments!” you complain, blood slowly curling as time passes.

“Maybe if you weren’t a lazy little runt, slacking off just because you feel like it,” his eyes narrow, taking a step closer to push you back against the door.

“Excuse me? You keep ordering me around like some kind of slave, do you expect me to not drop dead?” you protest, beginning to see red. You reach out your hands to push him away. He was just too close, you didn’t like it.

He beats you to it, grabbing both your wrists and pins them to the wall. Your eyes widen and you try to break free. He takes another step forward to fully immobilize you in place.

“I won’t be needing an impotent soldier who can’t even do simple tasks. I’m removing you from my squad,” he blurts out of nowhere, and you feel your heart drop for a second. This is what you’re talking about when you say he’s an exploitative piece of shit.

You gawp at him, not knowing what to say. Being in his squad for years and years, you know you deserve your spot there. But for him to remove you for little to no reason? Damn, you want to kill him and his irrationality so bad. To do that, first, you have to free yourself.

“Fuck you,” are the only words you muster. Guess you’ll have to pull the big guns after all.

Genre: Smut Word Count: 5k Warnings: Sexual content (Duh), multiple orgasms, daddy kink, sight deprivation, use of a vibrator, demeaning words/ phrases, constriction but hey, all in a trusting, controlled environment. Please don’t read if it doesn’t butter your biscuit. Summary: To prove that you had more to you than work, you decided to try out a club per your friend’s recommendation. You didn’t know that your assigned partner would bring out a whole new side of you. A/N: I have nothing to say other than I don’t know who wrote this but I hope she appears more often. Just read it and let me know what you think;) Thank you to  @j0shuwua for beta reading and helping me fix some mistakes♥

You sighed in frustration as you heard the same sentence repeated for what felt like the billionth time. You were on lunch break with two of your friends, just conversing about everyday things when things took a turn. The subject of college popped up and annoyed to remember that they were there for your college career. You studied until your ass fell off, only drank wine or a beer once everything school-related was said and done, and only joined an association so that you didn’t look like a total shut-in. As your close friends were out and about socializing in and out of their sorority, you kept your circle as small as possible.

Maybe it wasn’t the best choice to live the “best part” of your life like that but that diploma was the only thing on your mind and now, it had been years since you got it. You had a respectable, cushy job that you loved and a great paycheck you made sure to utilize. You still rarely went out but there were better things to do. You weren’t exactly one for new experiences but once in a while, you could be spontaneous.

“Hey, I’m not boring.” You pouted as you slouched in your seat. Your friends laughed heartily across the table as you got more annoyed. They talked about all of your boring qualities and sad excuses for “new experiences”.

“Sure you aren’t. You’ve only been to a club what, once, drank alcohol a handful of times, you don’t really make friends outside of work and… when was the last time you went on a date? Or got laid?” Sam asked from beside you.

Request:

“Hi- just wanted to say that I ADORE your writing!! Your style is so satisfying to read? I was hoping to request a minghao smut - but it doesn’t have to be him specifically I just like the kind of virginesque inexperienced reader you’ve paired him with previously- where you want to give him a blow job or focus on him because of his schedule but you’re really nervous about doing it correctly? I know you have a lot that you’re working on so no rush or anything ❤️ whenever / if ever you get to it”           

A/N: I had to answer this back ASAP because this idea got me going, man. Like, o m g. And, I also knew that I would be able to write it quickly so I did it and wrote this up real quick while I am also working on my DK First Time smut (😉). To the anon who requested, first of all, thank you so much for the love!💕 I am so happy you like my posts! I hope this is what you wanted!! Thanks for requesting! -ren♡

➵Pairing: Xu Minghao x Reader

➵Warnings: title tells all/ first time you give a blowjob to Hao. 

➵Words: 1.8k

You had spent the past twenty minutes locked in the recording studio with Minghao, making out with him like you’d never kiss again. Recently, you had barely gotten any time with him because of his hectic schedule. The most you would get would be a quick call or thirty minutes alone with him before he had to leave again. It had been driving you crazy. All you wanted was your boyfriend back so you could talk, laugh, cuddle, and hell, if you were being honest, you wanted proper sex back.

You and Minghao were still a newer couple and you had only had sex a few times and since the two of you were new, sex was very vanilla; the usual foreplay that led to the main event. There were still many things that you and Minghao were itching to try with each other, but Minghao just didn’t have time. The constant lack of physical attention and just lack of each other in general created so much lust inside both of you that as soon as you saw each other again after God knows how long, you’d pounce, desperate to get just a small taste of one another. That’s why your lips were so passionately locked with his as you straddled him on the couch in the recording studio.