A.Cat's Sketch Blog

Taking on a New Year

The end of 2025 was awful, painful, and depressing for me, and when the new year began it was a bit more of that with a bit of hope sprinkled in. But, that hope and happiness would waver. Still does. It's difficult, but I'm working through it. Grief, no matter over who or what, is difficult and unfortunately takes time.

I didn't want to overwhelm an already emotionally ragged self, so January was intentionally aimless. I expect myself to pick things back up as February approaches since not only did I have a small trip planned at the end of the month, but also my hands can only be so idle for so long. 

Typically, the new year comes with everyone setting up resolutions or goals. I love planning, so of course I love doing that as well. However, I didn't do any extravagant set up for resolutions or goals this year. I never did well with resolutions anyways and often I tend to go overboard with rehauling years of habits with the new year only to fail and feel guilt. In 2025 I finally came to learn that gradual change is what leads to stable lasting growth. So this year I have only a couple of habitual goals to try to build up and aim for as the year progresses along with a list of various things I would like to do but haven't yet. The intention isn't to cross everything off; it's more of a menu to choose from when an opening in my schedule opens up and I feel at a loss of what to do.

I've seen others find setting a theme as most helpful since you can make decisions and plans based on asking, “how does this coincide with [personal 2026 theme]?” It seems amorphous enough to not be too restrictive, but structured enough to keep me in line with my intentions. My theme for 2026 is “Just Try It”, as opposed to “Just Do It”. “Try” implies that an attempt must be made, but the choice to stop is still there. It seems a bit lacking in discipline. Let's be honest, I am lacking in discipline these days; I'm building things back up and that includes building back discipline, stamina, and consistency.

Collecting New Fiber Arts Skills

In 2025 I learned crochet for the first time. I thought I could easily pick it up since I already do lace tatting. Crochet and tatting are extremely different. The only connection is using a crochet hook (and for shuttle tatting that's used from time to time). After a while of fiddling and sitting myself down and forcing myself to learn crochet, it eventually became easy. Due to the confidence built up by crochet I thought about picking up knitting, again, sock knitting specifically. I knew how to knit simple scarves already. Knitting socks couldn’t be all that hard right? Yes, it could be that hard. It’s an entirely different beast! What was I thinking? But I thought lace tatting and crochet were similar, so suppose I tend to learn the hard way.

The beginning of my sock knitting journey started by asking the extremely helpful shop keeper at the local yarn shop for yarn and needle recommendations (asking in itself was a small achievement, but that’s a more personal matter I won’t get to here). I chose circular needles since supposedly two needles felt more approachable to beginners. I checked out the lovely fingering weight yarns, and of course, of the bunch I chose the thinnest most easily unwound yarn possible. Not my best decision; I’m just extremely ambitious due to naivety.

I started with circular needles using the magic loop method with circular needles. Turns out holding the two needles attached by an unruly cord was cumbersome and stitches were hard to keep up with. The double pointed method really worked well for my brain. Having several needles meant stitches were compartmentalized in smaller easier to count groups, but switching to DPNs didn’t save me from my yarn. My unskilled hands could not handle such thin yarn that had the tendency to unravel when being worked and re-worked by a beginner knitter. I had to switch to a lower quality yarn acquired from a chain craft store. Starting a new craft is so troublesome; you have to gather and buy so many new tools and materials to test out. At least now I can knit a pair of socks. I can even still make socks with my nice yarn with all the experience I’ve gained! If you're considering knitting, do not start with socks. If you do tackle socks, you'll hate gussets. You'll also probably hate DPNs too unless you're unusual like me.

Way Down Hadestown

I had the wonderful opportunity to see a touring performance of Hadestown with my dear friend. I went in with only my rough knowledge of the relationship between Hades and Persephanie, the ending of Orpheus and Eurydice’s myth, and that Hades in Hadestown sings bass. Other than that, I didn’t know what to expect. I’ve heard a lot of the songs before, but I never really actually listened to it until that evening. The costuming, the stage set up, the dancing, the talent of the singers I loved it all! 

The stage it was performed on was apparently smaller than the one my friend saw it previously at a different location. Regardless of the small stage, every part of it was used impressively so that it never felt too small. The set pieces were few: leveled steps, a raised platform, some chairs, a door, two backdrops, lights that come down from the ceiling. It was able to achieve various settings through lighting that isolates and expands the stage for certain scenes and changes colors to match the mood of the scene or location. As a viewer, it was very easy to forget that the set was so small. Stage productions are such an amazing thing!

I was absolutely in love with our Persephone, she was so cute and had a similar body type to me which I don’t get to see all that often on stage to be honest and of course she was an extremely strong singer that played her character as a feisty playful woman very well (I also loved Hades but I’m a big sucker for bass singers). Which brings me to something I didn’t like very much. Persephone is made more of an object for Hades’s desire rather than a person. I understand that is a major issue that the two actually face and that while in Hadestown she pushes that by complaining about the heat and the lights and does as she pleases in Hadestown away from him, but after listening to the original cast recording my friend shared with me I noticed that she has a part in Chant Reprise that wasn’t included in the current Broadway version (the one I saw on tour). This part gives a look more into her and how their relationship with Hades was so wonderful in her past “when I [Persephone] was a young girl”. Plus the song feels more fleshed out with her insert since Hades sings of their current state and to “take it from an old man”. I simply just prefer that version of the song. The addition of Persephone here adds to the friction between her and Hades since it shows her side of their current relationship struggle yearning for what they once were not currently are; without it she loses a bit of character building. A bit of her voice is lost. However, even as I write my thoughts I do realize that even the removal of that part is not a bad move. In the end, the story is about working together and trust as seen with Eurydice and Orpheus walking together in the dark. Having the current relationship that Orpheus experiences of Hades and Persephone is unbalanced and lacking of really listening to one another. Eurydices and Orpheus have to walk back to the above ground together; him unable to look back at her, them both having to trust one another having to speak to one another to reassure that the other is there. So, leaving out the Persephone part in Chant Reprise is a decision I can understand. Both keeping and removing the part has their justified reasons which work toward a different goal. Plus, there are probably other more behind the curtain practical reasons for cutting that part of the song as well. I think personally I just wanted more Persephone. I loved our Persephone.

January Kudos Not much really happened this month so there are not many kudos to give nor achievements to acknowledge. Kudos to me for actually trying to take things slow this month, kudos to me for not giving up on learning how to knit socks, and big kudos to me for being the one responsible for driving during my trip and planning it. Past me could never. Future me, keep it up!

February Thoughts, Fears, Dreams

It makes most sense to put in place systems this month to achieve my goals. But with how tumultuous and depressing my private life has been, I will be picking the pace back up in February instead of front loading everything in January. My main ambitions are to do some form of exercise daily. The other is to study Japanese daily whether that be via Wanikani, Cure Dolly, or Genki. I can do any single thing, or a combination, but never neither. At the very least, strive to never do neither. I made a card to keep track of my efforts for 30 days. The aim is to not break the chain, but what’s most important is to reach 30 days of effort. If I can keep it up roughly for that long, I can expand on what I’m already trying to do, dig a little deeper into it.

I’m an illustrator and designer; do I have any goals for creative endeavors? No, well not really. Specifically, not yet. I will most likely focus on fiber arts along with Blender modelling practice this coming month. Lately, I haven't had the stamina or desire to sit and work on intense illustrations so I'll be (re)building up towards that. The increase in physical activity in my daily life should help with that too, so I'm not too caught up in not focusing on anything illustration and design wise for now. Hopefully, I can make more this year than in 2025. I’m hoping that other parts in my life get better to allow for illustration and design to happen more.

To You Dear Reader