* 𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝒃𝒐𝒚 .

          he wishes that he was drunk enough to actually enjoy this moment --- the feeling of her limbs tangled with his own , her nose tucked into his neck . this is literally everything he wanted , but now it didn’t feel quite right . hand lifts to run through the length of her hair .  “ yup , i’m a big meanie . ”  he sighs out for dramatic effect . aj doesn’t expect her to understand right now , so ... if you can’t beat them , join them . might as well just agree instead of trying to bicker with a drunk cj --- he doesn’t even want to argue with her sober .  “ are you cold ? ”  as attentive as ever , aj’s ready to be chivalrous and offer her his sweater , but he finds himself at a loss for words instead when she’s pulling away and bumping their noses together . now he’s blushing again , hands coming up to rest very delicately on either side of her face , cupping her cheeks in his hands and keeping her close .  “ thank you . ”  he says , voice just above a whisper , leaning in to bump their noses together once more . a smile curls the corners of his lips upwards , finally dropping his hands from her face , letting go only so he can wrap his arms very loosely around her torso .  “ ... did you want to wear my hoodie ? that’ll keep you warm . ”  he offers , pausing for a beat .  “ i don’t need it --- i don’t mind . ”  alright . he might be stretching the truth there just a tad bit . aj can feel the chilly breeze on his face , and he knows he’ll be slightly uncomfortable without his jacket , but it’s worth it if it makes her feel better . he really doesn’t mind --- he truly meant that .  “ i think you’d wear it better than me anyways . ”  he tacks on , charming grin set on his features . 

          he dramatizes the effect of her nudging his shoulder , stumbling over a few feet purely for comedic affect , nose scrunching up at her words . but then the moment is gone , and they’re left to settle back into the harsh reality of what’s been going on in ivory falls .  “ it’s like ... if she hadn’t been there to spook that guy off --- ”  he couldn’t even say it . the thought of it made aj uneasy . what if it had been him ? he’s all his dad has left . and what if it’s one of his close friends next ? he doesn’t really want to talk about it right now , he decides , especially not when they’re both walking through a dark , empty parking lot . hands shove into his pockets to fish out his car keys , pressing the button to unlock his shitty , little ford fiesta . he points a finger it her direction , attempting a serious look ( that doesn’t work out --- he’s already breaking into a cheesy grin by the time the words leave his mouth ) .  “ --- she’s not my girlfriend . ”

         what a night ! he couldn’t have phrased it any better himself .  “ nuh - uh . i was too busy with my giant table of businessmen that kept trying to one - up each other on ordering . the entire table racked up a three hundred dollar check , and i was super excited for the tip on that thing ... ”  he pauses , fishing in the front pocket of his apron that he hadn’t taken off yet to reveal two measly bills . “ --- six bucks . ”  he shakes his head , shoving the money back into his pocket .  “ i never mind , lee - lee . i wouldn’t let you walk home . ”  he pauses , voice a little bit lower , “ especially now . i mean , that’s ... that’s insane , right ? ”

          gentle grin rests on his features as he looks down at the other boy ,  “ why not ? i think that’d be really cool . it could be your thing . ”  he continues to tease , laughter slipping out along with his words . aj’s particularly jovial tonight ( not that that’s much different than his usual demeanor ) .  “ oh , i --- thank you . that’s very kind of you to say . ”  aj doesn’t have a problem with confidence , but being on the receiving end of compliments always flusters him . his nose scrunches up a little bit , playfully so , and he brings the bottle in his grasp up to his lips for a sip . head shakes , reaching out to gently nudge judah’s shoulder ,  “ you’re here , right ? so i’m not alone . ”  he raises his eyebrows a bit , finishing off his drink and nodding towards the array of coolers set out ,  “ you said you wanted another , yea ? let’s go . and maybe on the way over you can tell me your name so i don’t have to wonder who this stranger was all night . ”

          “ i promise i won’t mention that you brought it up ever again after tonight , alright ? ”  he lilts , half - serious , soft laugh accompanying his words .  “ it’s a good thing to compliment people though , so don’t be too embarrassed . ”  not surprising coming from the guy that basically preaches about living life to the fullest and never being afraid to tell people how you felt .  “ water is boring , but it’s also super good for you . maybe we can compromise and get gatorade instead ? ”  his brows raise a bit , expression settling into another smile .  “ i am now . how could i not be after being called beautiful ? ”  he teases , leaning over to nudge her shoulder playfully .

         in hindsight , he could see how his words could’ve been mistaken for a flat - out rejection , but that’s literally as far as you could get from the truth . he’s actually pretty close to gobsmacked when she mewls out the question --- half because he’s never heard her sound anything less than confident , and half because he can’t believe she’d actually think that .  “ --- i- i DO want to kiss you ! ”  he exclaims , maybe a bit too defensively to be written off as just nothing . but she’s drunk , and she’ll probably just forget it all anyways .  “ ... just not right at this very moment . ”  he tacks on --- an afterthought . and maybe that’s not the whole truth . he does want to kiss her right now ( all the time ) , but he knows he probably shouldn’t . if she still wants to tomorrow --- when she’s sober --- he will gladly make out with her for as long as she wants . but she looks genuienly hurt by his words , and now he’s torn . is he supposed to just shove all his morals out the door ? he can’t do that . lips press together in a thin line , and his typically jovial expression has morphed into a frown , brows knitted together as he watches her finish off her drink and claim that he’s mean . it actually stings a little , hearing those words fall from her lips . that’s the last thing he wants to be seen as --- especially to cj .  “ no --- hey , c’mon . ”  he stammers out , brows knitted together . aj’s usually a master at emotions , and somehow always knows the right thing to say , but cj managed to put that skill into shambles .  “ how am i being mean ? i don’t want to hurt your feelings , cj . that’s not what i was trying to do . i’m-- i’m sorry . ”

          his breath hitches in his throat at her utterance . he thinks so too --- he wants to be . for her . if only he’d stop being such a wuss and just tell her . this feeling’s so weird . aj’s not the type to put off telling people things . he’s all about communication and openness and telling people how you feel ... maybe he’s just never felt anything like this before . it was different . aj felt like he really had something to lose . it’s exhilarating and exhausting all at the same time .  “ it really just depends on which one i pull out of my backpack . ”  and , of course , he’s answering her pondering literally .  “ i have a lot in there . ‘cause like ... they get all melty , so then you throw another one in there , then another one , and then you end up with , like , seven of them in there . ”  as if this was a universal experience , and not just an aj experience . eyes stay glued to her as she sets her drink down and readjusts herself , letting out a small breath of disbelief as she kneels in front of him . his immediate answer ( in his head ) is yes . yes , you can kiss me whenever you want , wherever you want , all the time --- i’m yours completely . but the smell of alcohol brings him back to his senses . he can’t kiss her ... not when she’s drunk like this , and he’s not even tipsy . aj doesn’t want to take advantage of her in any capacity --- even if it was just a kiss . it doesn’t feel right . hands reach out to gingerly grab a hold of her upper arms , pushing her away just a little , gentle slope of a smile on his lips .  “ --- maybe later . ”  when you’re not drunk ,  “ if you still want to . i don’t have chapstick on right now --- i gotta reapply . ”

          the comment seems to come out of nowhere , but aj can’t say that he disagrees . well , maybe a little --- he’s not drunk , but she is beautiful ! but then she’s correcting herself , and a rosy flush is setting on his nose - bridge .  “ that’s very kind of you to say . ”  he laughs out , charming grin etched onto his features .  “ you are definitely drunk though . maybe it’s time for some water , yea ? you’ll thank yourself for it later . ”

          it’s unusual to find someone on campus that aj hadn’t ran into ( figuratively or literally --- he’s a bit of a klutz at times ) . and it’s even weirder , to him , that someone could even be nervous to talk to him at all . aj likes to think that he’s a nice person . but he very conveniently likes to forget the fact that he can be a lot . he’s big , he’s super tall , he’s loud , he’s clumsy , he’s always talking at a million miles per minute ---- it’s no wonder some people found him a little imposing sometimes .            digits are wrapped delicately around the neck of a beer bottle , bidding a group of people goodbye so that he can find some fun elsewhere . but the fun seems to come to him --- before he can even plot his next move , a smaller , blond man is approaching , and aj’s warm brown eyes are fixated on him , lit up in amusement at the other’s gibberish .  “ it is a very nice night for an evening , yea . ”  he nods , voice laced with a light - hearted , teasing tone . charming grin pulls on the corners of his lips , head nodding ,  “ i would love another beer . but only if you keep rhyming every other sentence . it’s very fresh , i think --- very fun . it’s like live - action slam poetry . ”

          he really does follow her around like a lost puppy sometimes . it’s almost comical the way those honeyed brown eyes can’t stay off of her --- she’s quite entrancing , he thinks , even more so when she’s leaning up against his chest . arms are draped very loosely around her torso , and yes , that is his heart - rate quickening when she speaks , though he’s attempting to will himself to slow it back down . cj just has this insane affect on them --- he’s constantly hanging on to every last word , every last touch , every last glance ... he can’t get enough of her .  “ uh --- um ...  yea . yea , totally . ”  he titters , not wanting to come off too eager . a part of him wants to ask if they think that’d be a bad thing --- the two of them , boyfriend and girlfriend . neck cranes to meet her gaze as she leans back further , bringing a hand up to brush a thumb tenderly over her cheek . aj is so thankful for the fire right now --- not only for the warmth it radiates against the chilly night air , but for the dim lighting that hides the way his cheeks are flushing a bright red .  “ --- thanks . i grew them myself . ”  his brow furrows . why did he say that ?  “ i mean ... well , i guess that’s technically true , no ? sure . ”  now he’s going to be pondering that in waves for the rest of the night ,  “ ---- i use a lot of chapstick ! ”

          you see , aj’s had a sweet - tooth for as long as he could remember , and it wasn’t going away anytime soon . he’s probably the last person on earth that needs to be subject to a sugar rush , but it doesn’t stop him . maybe that’s why is personality is practically saccharine . ah , well . he doesn’t dwell on the thought now , focusing instead on the incessant clicking of the pen against the wood ... until she’s knocking the utensil out of his grasp . aj’s ready to protest , lips already parted , but then she’s binding their fingers together , and suddenly , he’s perfectly content once again . he smiles --- it’s a sweetly little grin too , as gentle as ever . that rosy flush is back , burning on his cheeks as he looks at her with those puppy - dog eyes . he adores cj ( more than he probably should ) , and he’s in too deep to stop anytime soon . a thumb brushes tenderly over the back of her hand , and he’s taking the time to look now , at how much smaller her digits were compared to his own , cognac brown eyes drift up to her face now , drinking in her features with heavy admiration . aj really has a way of making people feel seen . it’s obvious that he cares about people , no matter who they were to him ... and cj ? he cares so much , he feels like he’s constantly about to melt into a puddle in their presence . his gaze is so expressive that he almost doesn’t even need to say it aloud .  “ really , yea , isn’t that wild ? ”  now his eyes are lighting up for a different reason , just like they always did when you got him on a topic that he was actually interested in . he shifts to sit up straighter , and his free leg starts to bounce underneath the table .  “ ---- bread is super dope . ”  he blurts out in agreement . that didn’t sound nearly as cool or collected as he’d intended , but he’s running with it anyways .  “ like ... toast . am i right ? there’s nothing more palatable in the morning than a nice slice of toast . eh ... well , maybe a bagel ... ”  now he’s getting lost in his own thoughts ( which isn’t terribly uncommon for aj ) .  “ ---- but that’s only if there’s , like , twenty pounds of cream cheese on it . otherwise , i don’t want it . no , you know what ? toast is superior . you can put anything on toast --- nutella included --- and that’s why it’s just the best . you know , sometimes i think about how people hundreds of years ago didn’t have nutella , and i feel bad for them . i wouldn’t be able to cope with that . and it’s like , yea , i would time travel if i got the chance , but i’d have to bring snacks with me . ”  it was actually impressive how he could bounce from one topic to another completely seamlessly ,  “ the ancient greeks didn’t even have sour patch kids ! i couldn’t live like that . ”

          a gentle , friendly grin rests on his features , shoulders lifting in a shrug once more . it just seemed like the right thing to do --- with the polaroid killer popping up all of a sudden , aj always feels a little weary knowing that someone’s --- anyone’s --- going out alone .  “ don’t mention it . ”  seriously ... don’t . as much as aj likes to live his life without judging others , he’s not too keen on the idea of being part of a literal drug deal ... even if he was ( quite literally ) just standing there .  “ i guess that’s a pretty good deal . ”  is it , though ? and does aj really think that ? but soup had said it so casually ; he doesn’t want him to think he’s lame . hookers and blow , it was , then ! and while aj still looks a tad bit weary , he’s bobbing his head up and down anyways ,  “ yea , man . no doubt . ”  ... okay , maybe just a little . but this was fine --- this was an experience that he needed to have . ( no , it really wasn’t , but his optimism is ever - present ) .