A real life goddess

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It wasn’t overwhelming, and it wasn’t miraculous. It simply met me where I was.

February feels like an invitation to do better, not by force, but by care.

I’m focusing on my nervous system. Being gentle with myself. Catching stress before it takes over. Actively stepping out of survival mode and into safety.

This looks like spiritual baths and release ceremonies. Sitting in the sun with no agenda. Letting my body soften instead of staying on guard.

I’ve been leaning into nostalgia. Shows that feel familiar and regulating. As Told by Ginger. Hey Arnold. Pottery competitions. Baking shows. Comfort without guilt.

I’ve been baking more. Learning through trial. Improving without pressure. Letting the act itself be enough.

I’m reading more. Slowly. Intentionally. Allowing my mind to rest while it expands.

Soft power, to me, is choosing presence over panic. Regulation over reaction. Care over control.

February isn’t about pushing forward.

It’s about settling in.

And that feels like progress.

Spiritual baths. Release ceremonies. Quiet time at my altar.

Stepping away from social media.

Returning to nostalgic shows, healing frequencies for my nervous system,

light meditation, and slow yoga flows.

I’m 39 now.

I’ve always been a late bloomer in many areas of life. I stepped early into being a wife, a mother, a homebody roles I loved, but roles that sometimes swallowed me whole. I’ve lost myself many times along the way… and somehow, I’ve always found myself again.

When I began my spiritual journey, I truly believed there would be a point where I’d be cured fixed, healed, finished. But wisdom has taught me something different: the spiritual journey never ends. Awareness doesn’t mean perfection. Growth doesn’t mean arrival.

These last two years, though… they’ve been something else. Deeply stressful. Heavy. I lost myself again and this time it hit harder than ever before. The kind of loss that shakes your identity, your faith, your sense of safety.

But in the midst of that, my ancestors stepped in. Loudly. Clearly. Guiding me even when I was afraid to listen.

I’ve been scared of my gifts. I tried to block them out, shrink them, ignore them because choosing yourself fully can feel selfish when you’ve spent your whole life choosing everyone else.

Not anymore.

I’ve chosen myself. Fully. Without guilt. Without explanation.

I’m still looping. Processing. Unlearning. Becoming.

And yes this looping is crazy.

But it’s also honest.