marlin's sideblog

It's all going to makes sense in the end once I get help and diagnosed. I can't keep living like this

I need to kms before i graduate

i'm a horrible person

I knew I wasn't so normal & only had been around with friends I don't have anymore

I can't genuinely feel happy anymore except I'm still being able to but like on only few exceptions or things I just really like & it's mostly a phone addiction. I think oh yeah I'm just detaching myself from reality, everytime I remember & remember & remember that nothing's ever actually fucking fine & I'm tired. It's like I would just be nothing without my phone & computer. Where I live at fucking sucks. I'm lonely as hell yet I can't even interact with one. I'm just starting to think & do the worse of me to get worse. I feel like I just don't really want to do anything, but I'm trying my best to distract myself. I just keep distracting myself. It's the best coping mechanism I can do. I don't want to hurt myself anymore. I'm trying not to. I'm just escaping

We got this strange manipulation tactic where we threaten death upon ourselves

I bite at the hand that feeds me

i don't want to bond with you

my mom is so good at ragebaiting & making me not want to talk to her even further

God letme be free from this hell called living with conservative christian family

Kjjjhgdrdsdgaaaadggggggffyucicjvhjjbbvfvvvkmskbsk.skmxmhhnkmskms

I don't like it when things starts getting back to me. I don't like it at all. I always just brush it off & lock it up. I just make it hollow. But I know it can't be always that easy. Then it'll get worse & worse & slowly killing me. I don't have much options. It's just going to be like this for not sure how long but I know it'll be very long

I'm tweaking out 🤪🤪🤪