Aisha Adkins

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After months of deliberation, I have decided to take a few days off from work to get caught up on life and quell some of the inherent chaos that can come with being a caregiver for my parents. When I first decided to take some time off, I daydreamed of things like spending a day at the @highmuseumofart, treating myself to lunch or dinner at nice restaurant, or maybe even a covid-safe visit with a friend. But then reality set in. I am not just an employee taking a break from my job. I am a employee who has another full-time job as a caregiver and personal needs as a full-time human. So my vacation days won’t actually be spent “vacationing,” but mostly in doctor’s appointments, cleaning, running overdue errands, catching up on elusive sleep, following up on anything that has fallen through the cracks, and making sure my parents have everything they need. Except I won’t be doing these things in between Zoom calls, emails, rapid response, and interviews for the next week or so. #NationalFamilyCaregiverMonth #HCBS #PTO #PaidTimeOff #PaidLeave #Blessed #Rest #Respite #SelfCare #Wellness #Resilience #Resistance #Restoration #Gratitude #Faith https://www.instagram.com/p/CWI-lD2rAbj/?utm_medium=tumblr

Hello friends. I am humbled by all of the new followers recently. That said, you’ll have to wait for new content, as I am going on a hiatus for a few days. As a caregiver, I have used social media as a tool for raising awareness about issues affecting BIPOC millennials who are providing care for a loved one. One of the issues I am passionate about is caregiver mental health. Caring for someone, especially someone who is living with a debilitating or terminal illness, can be physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting – even debilitating. As such, I am taking a step back from social media for a bit to create more space and capacity for me to care for my parents and myself in a healthier, more balanced way. Additionally, I will likely be stepping away from some roles and opportunities for an as yet undetermined amount of time as I continue to learn the best ways to cope with anticipatory grief and heal from traumas I’ve encounter throughout my life. If you are finding yourself anxious, depressed, or overwhelmed by the challenges of being a caregiver, know that you are not alone. You may not be able to change your current circumstances, but you can control what you consume and some of the unnecessary triggers that steal your peace. I’ll touch base in a few days, and may decide to extend my social hiatus at that point. Until then, be well, be kind, and be your own greatest advocate. #Hiatus #Blessed #TakingABreak #Wellness #Peace #ProtectYourPeace #HealthyMind https://www.instagram.com/p/CRmUUb0Khhw/?utm_medium=tumblr

Help Spread the word! @hihdomesticemployers member Engracia Figuroa flew to DC for #CareCantWait & on her way home @united DESTROYED her wheelchair. This happens way too often to disabled people. Sign the petition and #MakeUnitedPay! #DisabilityJustice #LinkInBio https://www.instagram.com/p/CRb45_fK_q_/?utm_medium=tumblr

More scenes of the day… #CareIsEssential #CareCantWait (at Washington D.C.) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRUXPeypO_8/?utm_medium=tumblr

My time in Washington, D.C. has truly been a remarkable experience filled with growth, reflection, and connection. These are just a few images of my colleagues and friends, many of whom met each other in person for the first time this week. As impactful as this trip was for my career (not to mention positive for my mental health), the reality is that is was also an anxiety-addled test run for obtaining regular care for my mother. After many last-minute calls, frantic emails, and $486 out of pocket, I arranged for an aide to come to my home and make sure my parents were okay while I was gone. It was expensive, and I worried about how things would work out. Fortunately, things went well on both ends. Now I am returning to a reality in which I will grapple with anticipatory grief and try balance work and care. We are daily making progress in gaining legislation that will get family caregivers, people with disabilities, and people with disabilities the much-needed home and community-based services we so desperately need. The struggle continues. #CareCantWait #CareIsEssential (at Washington D.C.) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRUW3EZJOSr/?utm_medium=tumblr

Mother’s Day has been hard for me for a long time. My mother is still with me, but she is not the same. Her lovely singing voice is not as strong as it once was. She can’t make her famous Precious Poundcakes anymore. And she doesn’t remember any of the sweet moments or bitter tensions we shared together as mother and daughter throughout my life. But today is a good day for my mom. She is lucid, alert, and able to communicate fairly well. I showed my parents the Caregiver Corner interview I did for @caringacrossgen with @sianpierre and @rebrexit of @dutyfreefilm, and @brandongwill and @janicehwill of @ourwillpower. My mom told me she was so proud of me and who I’ve become. Sure, the things my guests shared touched my parents and they commented on how handsome Brandon and Sian-Pierre are. But they were mostly just surprised to see me in a light they never have before: confident, poised, professional. But most importantly, loving what I do. My mom just kept looking at the television screen (I pulled it up via the Facebook Live app on @amazonfiretv) and back at me, wiping tears from her eyes and grinning ear-to-ear. When the playback ended, she told me it is so wonderful to see me grow up into this woman and find my voice, because it is like a coin to my future. I thanked her and proceeded to give her a mani-pedi (after years of unsuccessful attempts). We may have ice cream later. Maybe not. We may talk to a few more relatives on the phone, or call it a day. My mother could continue to have a good day, free of the most debilitating symptoms of dementia, or she could experience a really terrible sundowning episode. We don’t know what will happen, but I do know that I have learned how to manage my expectations for myself and of my mother. Today can be a special day, or it can be one of many where I just do my best to make my mom proud, whether or not she is always able to recognize it – or me. So, as Hallmark holidays go, today is pretty okay so far. Your day can be pretty okay, too. https://www.instagram.com/p/COqr4foJPr1/?igshid=1gpjfaawlqisv

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