A is for Asche

Asche frowned, but figured a way to fix the problem. He slid off the bed and sat down beside his brother. “There.” He smiled brightly, leaning against his brother’s shoulder.

The young boy nodded against Axel’s chest, sighing heavily. “’m so sorry.” He whispered. “Can I fix it?” He whispered, still, but looked up to meet Axel’s eyes. “How… how can I make you trust me again?”

aisforasche:

Asche gave a tiny smile at Terran’s words. It really did seem like the man hated everybody in the world. Except Mommy. Asche couldn’t ever figure out why that was. Mommy was never very nice to anybody either. Maybe that’s why the two got on so well. Asche quickly finished dressing and looked to Terran with a confused expression. “Why-why are you on-on–on the floor?”

“He… He hates me.” Asche whispered. “I-I-I… I think he hates you, t-too.” The young boy didn’t think how rude his words might be. He closed his eyes when Terran kissed his forehead, taking in the comfort of the closeness. He responded with a shake of his head when his brother asked if he needed pajama pants. He never slept with them anyway, and he was certainly not the most modest.

Terran’s expression was one of surprise – less at Asche’s words and more at how perceptive he was. “Don’t take it personal,” he said, though a smirk pulled at his lips. “I think he hates anybody that isn’t himself. Except, maybe, your mom.” Their relationship – and marriage – was still something he didn’t quite understand, other than the woman seemed almost as despicable as Leonard. The way she treated Asche made something twist in his chest, and so, despite Asche’s age, Terran had taken to “mothering” him to make up for it.

Asche had not been expecting his stepfather to be waiting up the stairs. He whimpered, ducking nervously behind his brother.

Once the man was gone and the door was safely latched, Asche berated his brother  with questions. “Why-why did he come up? Is-is-is-is he m-mad? I… I’m sorry. I-I-I didn’t mean t-to make him m-madder.”

“No,” Terran replied, voice breathless but sure, shaking his head slightly. He turned and ran his fingers through Asche’s wet hair. “He’s just… it’s him being intimidating. He wasn’t actually mad.” We’d know it if he was. “He has to… to feel like he’s in control… and to remind us that he’s in control.”

The younger boy ducked his head in admonishment, biting his lower lip. “’m sorry.” He leaned against Terran, taking in his brother’s scent. “Stay in-in-in y-your room.” His voice was soft, but he sounded confident. He knew Terran would keep him safe.

Terran gave Asche a gentle squeeze. “It’s alright,” he replied, steering Asche toward the stairs. He stayed close beside him, tensing when he sensed Papa in the bedroom doorway.

“What’re you two doing up?” Leonard asked sharply.

“It’s nothing, Papa,” Terran murmured, trying to keep himself between the man and Asche. “I’ve got– I’ve got this.”

Leonard frowned, squinting at Asche even as Terran nudged the boy into his room. “If he gets pneumonia because of his own stupidity—”

Asche nodded his head. He realized he’d been silly, but after he left, he was too embarrassed to return. It was only after he had been attacked that he swallowed his pride and asked to come home. “Never. P-promise.” He sighed, mimicking Axel’s mood. “Can… can I please hug you?” The words were whispered and his eyes downcast as he spoke them.

Asche nodded, fervently promising never to leave again… “I… I didn’t want to bother you anymore.” The words were whispered, but still he looked up to meet Axel’s eyes. “’m sorry.” 

He pulled back and turned his face, not wanting Axel to see his embarrassment.

Asche shook his head frantically. “N-no, no!” His voice grew louder with his distress. “No, I-I-I can’t. I’d never m-make it… n-not without you.” He could feel that he was starting to shake, but he tried not to show it. He wanted to be brave for Terran, but he knew he would never be able to do that.

Asche nodded, fervently promising never to leave again… “I… I didn’t want to bother you anymore.” The words were whispered, but still he looked up to meet Axel’s eyes. “’m sorry.” 

He pulled back and turned his face, not wanting Axel to see his embarrassment.

Asche pulled away, looking at his brother with a serious glare. “I… you don’t mean leave you, do you?” Asche whispered. He could feel his chest tightening.

There was no way that was what Terran was implying… right? 

Asche whimpered when Terran leaned against him. It felt so good to be close to his brother again. He pulled back, though, shaking his head and whispering, “I don’t know what to do. You… Y-you know what to do.” He spoke a bit louder, then, but still kept his voice low. He knew his brother would be able to fix everything.

Terran gave his brother a weak smile. At least Asche believed in him – that had to count for something. Maybe it would be enough.

When Terran wrapped him in the towel, Asche sighed in contentment. It was so warm and he was so frozen. In response to Terran’s question, Asche shook his head. “I-I didn’t want to come back.” He said softly, meeting Terran’s eyes, “But I didn’t w-w-want to go if-if-if you weren’t with me.”

Terran’s expression turned pained and he sighed as he leaned forward and touched their foreheads together. “’m sorry,” he murmured. He knew he couldn’t leave. Not yet – not on his own. But if it was for Asche—

Asche sighed with relief when his step brother said he wasn’t angry. As he stepped inside, the drastic change in temperature caused a shiver to take over Asche’s body. He kept his voice low as he spoke to Terran. “I got mad at Papa.” He said simply. 

The statement wasn’t entirely true. Papa had gotten mad at Asche, but he didn’t want to dredge that back up.

Terran huffed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah – that’s easy enough to do,” he muttered. Papa had the ability to anger a saint. 

When Axel said that he missed Asche, too, Asche could no longer contain himself. Instead of sitting, he threw his arms around Axel and held tightly. “’m so sorry.” He whispered as he felt the tears flow down his cheeks.

Asche whimpered, unsure whether or not he should enter. He’d snuck out of the house because he was angry with his stepfather, but it hadn’t gotten him anywhere. All he managed to do was get himself wet.

“I’m sorry, Terran.” He whispered.

“’m not mad!” Terran insisted, reaching to pull the teen into the house. “You don’t have to be sorry. C’mon – I’ll get you a towel.” A quick scan of the house confirmed that the adults were still asleep upstairs, and he hoped they would stay that way.

Why wasn’t Axel saying anything? Asche frowned, knowing that Axel would probably hate him forever because of this. Still, when Axel opened the door to let Asche in, he felt relieved. “I missed you.” Asche whispered as he followed Axel into the house. He wanted to explain himself. He wanted to tell Axel why he had done what he did, but he wasn’t sure that any explanation would be welcome.