awake

anyone else embarrassed by the self-image and interests you have that you want to reconstruct your entire self even though thats not possible at this point bc the things that make you happy cant be substituted, so you just hide your life from others except strangers who share your interests. and then when you take a risk and let ppl who are close to you know what your interests are, they sometimes make you feel like shit or remind you thats who you are and you remember most ppl arent like that. so you just feel extremely embarrassed. then you realize this is why most of your friendships are with ppl you have met online bc nobody irl will really ever accept you or find you fun to be around bc you are painfully annoying, but at least you can subdue the annoyances online bc its only an interface and not your real self.

someone: you won't feel this way forever (: it'll get better

hi apparently im very embarrassing and i have to remake all the time bc i dont want to annoy ppl or make them cringe. basically i love feeling like shit.