air-b

I am in a transition that means that someone I thought was so special and important is no longer that special and important. I don’t know them anymore. There’s so much that I carry with me from that experience that they dont know. They say that some things end so you can get better and I might be there. It’s a little thrilling, but scary. I don’t know if I really am prepared. I really like them. I really care for them. I see them. I feel like the see me. That they care about me. But I’ve never done this before. I’ve been close but no dice. And I want it. I do. But I don’t know what that means and I don’t know what they want or don’t want. I just know it seems like we see each other and that means a lot more than maybe it seems like. I’m also cautious of why and how I am feeling these things. Is it something unhealed in me? Is it something that I thought was going to be solved but isn’t? Idk, that’s life right? I never really understood people and their decisions about stuff like this. Maybe I’m a super late bloomer. Maybe I’m finally ready to try some shit and risk it at 33. What the fuck else is the point of this shit? If not to make poor decisions and figure it out as you go? Idk. I used to think there was a process and steps to things. But I don’t know anymore. I don’t know anything. I really was just trying to be the best friend I could. It feels different than now, I want to build something and be there but reassure some things. Idk, why do I think it has to make sense to anyone else but me?

Life goes on. So why should I stay?

I also hate Love By Keyshia Cole, not cause it means anything to me but it’s your jam…

We’re all just kinda living and hoping other people like us

Love let me go.

Nothing matters. Nothing…