princess

sometimes, often, i feel like im an imposter in this world, a very mentally ill person playing house in this world. masking, pretending. waiting for the inevitable moment my cover blows up or i blow up. every breat i take is on manual, always a struggle. every second i feel the heaviness of my soul. every day i get crushed under all the intense emotions, i have no control over. I don’t have control, all i can do is just hope. but hope is limited and constantly challenged by this anxitey. this anxiety, the size of a planet, mostly outweighs hope. Outweighs everything, reality, facts, belief. constantly in survival mode, constantly imagining something bad happening, constantly living through that imagination. sometimes i think i am one.