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-beth pecora

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People are singing on my lawn.
Calling in a press conference is both the first thing she does Monday morning and the last thing she wants to do. In the wake of the high profile nonhuman outings (Vladimir Putin springs to mind), it’s a surprisingly simple task for a prominent businesswoman to get attention with a press release for reasons unspecified beyond that they are relevant to recent concerns in San Pedro Sula and the world. Only minutes after contacting local news outlets, international reporters call and email in requesting more specifics as far as time and location are concerned. Oh goodie.
In the hours leading up to the conference, Nessa changes her hair and practices her glamour no less than eleven times and her outfit twice. Which is less threatening? Hair down or hair up? Is it appropriate to wear white? A hat and sunglasses would be ideal in the current weather, but would they make her less trustworthy? It is easier to pretend that her indecision comes from a desire to look her best and not from a gnawing anxiety chewing a hole in her gut.
The car she hired arrives precisely two minutes early and the driver is courteous enough to meet her at the door, then hold it open for her. Someone is going to get a hell of a tip. He cements his generous gratuity by turning up the air conditioning and directing the vents towards his passenger. The cooled air is not quite cleared of the foul smell from outside, but it is refreshing and soothing nonetheless.Â
By the time she arrives, a small horde of reporters are already present, an impromptu podium tossed together in the town square with microphones of all shapes and sizes duct taped to the front. She smooths the front of her dress and checks to ensure her hair has stayed properly pinned, tucking a few renegade curls back into place only for them to spring free seconds later. Her modest flats manage to clack mildly on the questionably sturdy steps to the equally questionable podium and her smile is mild to match.
"Good afternoon. In another two minutes, we will begin with a brief question period afterwards. I would request that any flash kindly be turned off." Bright lights in her natural eyes will do nothing but hurt and flash photography always tends to be harder for her to fool.
Two minutes pass in what feels more like two seconds and in that time, the square fills with curious locals and journalists alike. She suspects many of them are here to confirm their suspicions that she’s been a demon from the start but that is simply the way the world is now. It cannot be helped. Not yet. Not for another minute or two.
"I am sure you are all wondering why I have called this conference now of all times when international shipping concerns are mine and mine alone." She smiles a little wider at her attempt at a joke. There are a few snickers but mostly more suspicious stares. "In light of recent events and tensions, we find ourselves in a time of fear and paranoia, where the line between violence and self defence has become blurred. I recognize that your local officials and leaders have not been forthcoming with reassurances or explanations."
"But my own officials and leaders are different." The glass of water left for her to sip looks tempting and she wishes she could curl up in it and hide. Instead, she sucks in a deep breath and eases back on her glamour, allowing some traits of her true self to slip through, though only those that would be least alarming. Her skin pales and takes on a blue-grey tint, her freckles glow blue, and the thin skin of her exposed throat splits to allow gills. Someone screams and she acts quickly, drawing the water from the glass and encouraging it to form a ring behind her head, a traditional and cliche symbol but an effective one. "Though Our message has not changed."
"And that message is one of tolerance, of love and of peace. Your writings of Our words have all included codes, rules, and commandments. We remind you now of the one most here are familiar with "Thou shalt not kill." There is no species modifier. It is not "Thou shalt not kill humans." Our message is only one of nonviolence. Were there truly an evil spreading and threatening the earth, We would deliver you from it as We have always promised. Please have faith and hope. Show kindness and love, acceptance and tolerance. You are not alone and you are not in any new or pressing danger. You are loved. We will now take questions."
An old woman in the crowd drops to her knees. Her son follows, then his friends, then those around them save for a handful of reporters too intent on asking their questions to bow. Nessa cringes and flushes and gestures for that nonsense to stop right now. But they’re calmer. It’s a start. A lie and a big one and one that will inevitably bite her in the ass, but if it brings peace in the meantime and keep the people in her city safe and the children in her city happy, it will have been worth it.
The questions take a solid hour and keep coming even after that, the most prominent of which is why she has gills if angels are winged. She claims herself to be a guardian for sailors and their wives and that seems to clear things up. The driver she’d hired earlier is quick to usher her into the car and lock the doors, providing her with a blessedly quick, clean escape from either the best or worst idea of her life. She pulls her hair free from its pins and chews her nails. Business is about to take another hit.
In honour of this, I am putting green food dye in my vodka and drinking until the shock wears off.
Oh my god.

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It was about something I did, so?
Yeaaaah.
So you’re acting like I have no reason to be angry or concerned over any of this, or frustrated with how you continue to ignore me or brush off any legitimate points I make simply to further your own agenda. That’s cool. I’ve done numerous things to prove you wrong, except… You’ve ignored every single one of them, repeatedly. ::/ You’re seriously making yourself look really bad, here.Â
You have no reason to trust me or to talk to me aside from maybe like, the survival and well-being of God only knows how many people, so I’ll concede to your point there - You’re absolutely right in not trusting me or speaking to me.
I did not invite you as an afterthought - I asked someone else (who I probably incorrectly assumed you were on good terms with, and I will sincerely admit my fault there) to invite you. I was extremely stressed and doing the best I could on short notice. I am deeply sorry I was not working at 200% capacity at the time. I’ve talked to the presiders who made themselves available, who spoke to me maturely, who didn’t ignore me, and who provided their own (plausible) suggestions. I attempted to speak to you, you weren’t having it, you were needlessly rude and hostile, so I stopped. I’ve replied to several of your posts before, both serious and casual, but none of those were responses were replied to. Lately I’ve had my hands full - I attempted to communicate when I could. I tried, I’ve been trying. Trying can only get me so far.
How many times do I have to say that I know that? I will use little words and little sentences just for you so you maybe understand, finally: I know. I had no other option. I had only a few days to plan. They did that intentionally to screw us over. I tried to involve everyone I could as fast as I could. I did what I could as best as I could. I have been working to fix everything. I am treating it like my responsibility. I have never said it is not my responsibility. I have taken direct responsibility this whole time. I have been working hard to help, this whole time. Even while I was hurt, I was trying to help. I know that is not enough. I am only one person. I want to help all but I cannot do that on my own. That is why I have been working with others. I have been working with Fritz and Romulus a lot. Everyone else I know has been working hard. We have set up counseling. We have set up food sources. We have communicated with leaders and the media. We have set up hotlines. We are doing everything we can. That is why I offered help to you. That is why Fritz offered to help you. (I think Brody has offered to help you but I do not remember?) I wanted to offer help, or money, or anything else. You told us both that you did not want help. But then you are angry that we are not helping? I do not understand that. We cannot do this if we do not cooperate. If you want to be on your own, that is fine. I will be happy to leave you alone.Â
How am I making myself look bad? When the hell have you attempted to talk to me? I attempted to be polite right up until you made it clear you weren't actually looking for opinions and even afterwards.
I am not angry that you are not helping, I am angry that I am being told that it is my fault you do not bother to speak with me. Did I need to hold your hand through talking to me? I have, in fact, replied to your replies and have replied to your posts as well. At no point have I ignored you.
You don't have to put any effort into leaving me alone because you've done nothing but that from the start. You want cooperation? Ask for it like a grown up instead of throwing a tantrum when it is not automatically given. I am not a mindreader. I don't have a goddamn agenda besides doing what I can to fix your mess. If you'd like to continue to insult me, I am available, per usual, on Pesterchum and you are more than welcome to actually attempt this "communication" thing you keep insisting you've been doing.
I actually asked a lot of questions, so????
?????????? What the fuck are you talking about. (You also forget that they pushed my trial up so I only had a matter of days to prepare, so they were intentionally trying to set me up for failure — We didn’t have time for elaborate plans.)
When I posted updates on what was going on, you responded — not to me directly, I might add — by snidely shooting down what I was doing, and it took you quite a while to offer any alternatives. That’s vagueblogging, bruh. I know you didn’t ask for help, I offered help because you literally made a post about things not running smoothly. The hell do you want me to do, scoff at you and leave you high and dry? I said at the meeting I’d help, I said I’d do everything in my power to make this work. I had no reason not to offer you help, and you really don’t have much reason to shoot anyone down. But that’s your choice.
Why should you bother speaking to me directly???? I DON’T KNOW, BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT TWELVE AND WE NEED TO WORK TOGETHER???? WHICH I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO DO??? Us not fucking knowing each other is literally NO EXCUSE to neglect to speak to me in a situation like this, holy fucking shit. I say this as honestly and politely as I possibly can: You are an immense goddamn moron, possibly one of the biggest I have ever met, if you honestly do not think there’s no point in communicating with one another.
I haven’t upended your entire community over two people, I’ve done it over hundreds of thousands. I needed to do it. I will not turn a blind eye in this situation.Â
Oh, I’m not trying to free anyone? That’s not why I consented to a week’s worth of experimentation for the SOLE PURPOSE of gathering evidence of illegal practices, torture, and inhumane treatment???? You do know the entire fucking plan was to do that to get evidence to present to the court to get it to shut down, right? Please excavate your head from your ass and think a few steps ahead for once. I am doing damage control, but I have a lot of irons in a lot of fires right now, which you’d know if you paid any attention or bothered to listen.
Who, exactly, have I forgotten? I’ve been focusing entirely on doing everything I can and cooperating with the presiders who are willing to listen. I haven’t forgotten anyone, I’ve been running myself ragged (while injured, mind you), contacting everyone I can, offering help where I can, and listening to the suggestions provided.
It’s so frustrating talking to you because every time I make a point about how much I’m doing, or every time I note that I didn’t do this for two people, or every time I note that I only outed three people (including myself) and that everyone else who has come forward has done so willingly, or that we’ve all been busting ass to help those with weak glamours… You ignore it. Jesus Christ, speaking to you is like talking to a reddit troll.
I’m glad you’re not sitting around bitching and moaning about this messing up your hair, but it’s not like I could have possibly known about any of that - You don’t speak to me, you don’t post about anything aside from how this inconveniences you personally, and you have done literally nothing to indicate you were doing anything (or that you even respect anyone involved in this situation).Â
Your failures (particularly your failures to communicate) are not my fucking fault. Blame yourself for them, not me. Act your age.Â
I posted my own updates independent of yours. I took five minutes to actually type a post, I am so deeply and terribly sorry you think that is about you.
You have no real experience talking to me. You have spoken to me once in person and now again online and all you have proven at any point in either of those conversations is that you are more temperamental than even I am and that your lack of experience or control over your own emotions make you unreliable. You've done nothing to prove me wrong and the onus is not on me to repair your first impression, nor to contact you over efforts you claim to be spearheading.
I have no reason to trust you, I have no reason to communicate with you. At no point have I been involved in any of this mess aside from a singular meeting to which I was invited as an afterthought through someone else because for all your talk on communication, you could not be bothered to contact me directly. You have talked to the presiders who were on your side. Voting one way or another does not indicate willingness or lack there of to help in the aftermath. I have only just blogged today for the first time in a week but have seen no efforts at all to contact me, not through asks, not through Pesterchum (which I've opened far more often than Tumblr). Before you accuse me of failing to communicate, take a good hard look at yourself.
You only outed three people directly but doing so did exactly as I said it would and caused panic and uproar and very correct paranoia over the presence of more of us. Anyone outed indirectly by your actions is still your responsibility and yes, you are helping some, but you are not helping all, as your self righteous ranting would suggest. I am not ignoring your efforts. I am pointing out that they are not enough and you and yours are not the only ones working to help.
You gave me alternatives at that meeting, yes.
Feigning ignorance (letting people die, turning a blind eye).
Not involving the media (impossible???).
Busting out Kaita and Gavril (how, with who, how would we get away with that…)
…And on here, you vagueblogged like a teenager instead of speaking directly to me.
Yeah, this has caused trouble. Never at any point did I say it wouldn’t, and I’ve been busting my balls to help nonhumans as much as possible (not that you give a shit or seem to have noticed or given me any credit for that, of course). Not to mention, you’ve now started vagueblogging about how big of an inconvenience this all is to you personally, so… It’s not like you even care? What have you done to help anyone so far? Have you done anything besides sit on your ass and vagueblog, using people’s suicides to make the point that “this is bad”… While doing nothing to help prevent them? In America and Europe we’ve been setting up hotlines and counseling for humans and nonhumans alike, we’ve been spreading information, creating safehouses… We have no rise in suicide or violence so far.Â
If I did things your way, by pretending none of this was happening at all, thousands would continue to be captured and tortured, probably to give up information about where more nonhumans are. But that’s fine, because it doesn’t inconvenience you personally! Who gives a shit about anyone else, right?
You’re not looking at the bigger picture, you’re playing the “out of sight, out of mind” game. I don’t think you’re a villain. I think you’re selfish, cowardly, and lazy. Being a villain would honestly be preferable, because then I could at least have some respect for you.Â
If you would have given them even the faintest bit of a chance, they could have been developed and discussed properly. Your idea of listening was to shoot down any and all opinions that did not mesh perfectly with your own emotion driven one.
I was not aware that posting an update on my situation on my own blog was considered “vagueblogging.” I did not ask for help, nor do I have any reason to go to you for help if I did need it. And why should I bother speaking to you directly? We have had one complete conversation and it was a waste of plane fuel and time. I do not know you at all, though I seem to be the only one, and know little about you beyond that you have upended my entire community over two people.
I understand they have since figured out the finer details of escape for themselves. What of the others in the facility? Your focus now seems to be more on damage control for the greater community rather than on those you were so desperate to free.
 For my own part, I have not been blogging or sleeping because I have been rather busy attending to those you have apparently forgotten. Believe it or not, once you leave North America and Europe, there are a great deal of people both human and nonhuman alike who barely have access to running water, let alone hotlines and counselling services. I have bending over backwards arranging transportation and lodging at no cost to those in need of places to hide. Are you aware of how difficult it is to move people under the radar? How much manpower and bribery it takes to get past borders and customs checkpoints? In my own city, I have been cutting off the flow of incoming weapons at a loss to my own business and putting what funding I can spare into the church, as that is where my citizens find the most solace.Â
The world is considerably larger than America and Germany. You might take that into consideration in future.
Since when did I not care to listen.
You said nothing for me to listen to. I asked you (and everyone else) a few times what you suggested I do, and you had literally nothing to say, not a single alternative to my plan… Aside from staying quiet and allowing thousands of people to be experimented on. However, I’ve listened to everyone who has provided suggestions on how to help the situation now, and things are going pretty well here and in Europe.
You said you’ve had a rise in violence and suicides, but you’re “doing well enough on your own”, so… I’m going to listen to that and redact my offer for assistance. Best of luck to you.
I gave you alternatives which would have prevented thousands from being forced into hiding or killed, but of course looking at the bigger picture makes me the villain.
You have already done quite enough damage.
schratteli replied to your post:schratteli replied to your post:Everything here is...
Interesting how you’re only now starting to tell me what I ought to be doing. (Please don’t do that, by the way. I don’t need anyone to worry about me, I’ve been healing and I’ve been fine.) I asked if there’s anything you needed.
Or more interesting how it is only now that you care to listen.Â
To clarify, I do not need anything, no.

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neunaugeinstein replied to your post:neunaugeinstein replied to your post:Everything...
Surely one would think they would at least also expect there to be angels alongside. Can I offer any help at all?
Yet they do not make themselves known, just as surely a sign that God is angry with us and has allowed the earth to be so besieged as to cleanse it of sin.
I will make do on my own.
schratteli replied to your post:Everything here is going just swimmingly, of...
Is there anything you need?
You ought to be a bit more concerned about yourself, if the pictures are any indication.
neunaugeinstein replied to your post:Everything here is going just swimmingly, of...
Trouble in paradise?
Indeed. It seems the devoutly Catholic residents of my city have taken about as well to the news that demons live among us as I expected.Â
Everything here is going just swimmingly, of course.
If you count a rash of suicides and a significant increase in violence and overall tensions as "going swimmingly."
My queue appears to have run out and I haven't the energy to spare to rebuild it.

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Napoleon’s Crown For His Empress Marie Louise
DIETRICH in The Devil is a Woman. Dir. Josef von Sternberg; 1935.