Samia Bondoc

"Doing nothing equates to being unproductive"—and all the lies I’m unlearning.

I used to hear that phrase where the age brackets 21-23 is like a rollercoaster ride. Gearing from the usual societal script of life, it's the transition period between being a student to a young professional.

You just don't know where to start, to the extent of asking are there really opportunities waiting for you, or you just have no blueprint at the moment—giving you the need to start from scratch?

I honestly have no idea because as of writing this, if feels like I am on hold. There are things in front of me, but there's a part of me that's very curious of what's ahead of me. People who are close to me knows that I am the type of person who does not want to have a vacant schedule. It's somehow my toxic belief that doing nothing equates to being unproductive— always, this leads me to experiencing burnout.

Hoorah. That's me now—in my burnout season—aloof from people, not because I am mad, but because I have been forgetting to pause. Not really to evaluate life, but to just pause and take things slow. In the end, I think it's just too early for me to grind (career wise + p.s, this grind part is my personal experience, but if you are the person who needs to grind asap, I wish you well 🙂).

But you know what, even in my burnout state, I am glad to be surrounded by people who would remind me to take it slow, and always declaring that there will be open doors for me career wise in God's time. I kid you not, when I finally decided to slow down, it just felt so right—to be in this actively waiting season just feels so right.

As I end this, if you believe in God, I just want to share these verses He impressed to me just recently:

[28] Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. [29] Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. [30] For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” — Matthew 11:28-30 ESV

[22] Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. [23] Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, [24] knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. — Colossians 3:22-24 ESV

I recently took a night flight for the first time.

When the aircraft finally took off, I could not help but be amazed by the city lights as I am seated by the window. As the plane flew further, my view became darker to the extent that the only visible lights were of the stars and nearby planets. Their brightness were much evident caused by the large environmental void.

Heavily loathing on each other.

I eventually thought of a person who fought so hard to keep my sanity intact 5 years ago. Ironically, prior the 2020 pandemic, I did not like him. A. lot. He appeared to be boastful, mysterious, and picky with people. I would roll my eyes at him as he would always give me a hard time expressing myself whenever he is around. And guess what, he also did not like me. We both loathed each other for an unknown reason.

Until one day, we were given an opportunity to serve at a local conference. I have no idea how we started talking because we weren't really each other's cup of tea. What I do remember is that there was one night our rehearsals ended late and he offered to drive me home.

Loathing is no longer a thing.

Internally, I was really laughing because the guy whose mere presence would piss me off just drove me home. For weeks, he extended his generosity in time. Finally, we found a way to break the ice. But unfortunately, COVID19 hit.

Stuck within the four corners of my room, the pandemic, along all my other personal problems did not go easy on me mentally and spiritually. But what amazed me, is this person that I used to loathe was one of the people who made my life bearable — actually, even better!

He was a light in the dark.

During the pandemic, which was one of the most darkest season of my life, he:

Patiently walked me through my episodes of anxiety.

Gently corrected me when I was prideful.

Filled me with general knowledge and facts.

Brutally used socratic method to challenge some of my perspectives.

(was) Firm to side my parents when I was wrong.

Unleashed my creativity.

Guided my thought process.

The best of me, he naturally brought out.

And later on I just realized how he helped me get out of my comfort zone:

I didn't like books, but he made me like it.

Made me always for the best output in everything I do — basically not settle on "this will do" / "okay na 'to".

Made me think critically and stand over my emotions whenever I need to make decisions.

He help me enhanced my grit.

Accept the reality but still stand in faith.

The statement "I don't know anymore" is a faith statement.

It's safe to say that this dude brought out the best of me, even the parts and strengths of mine that were previously untapped. He was an indeed a light in the dark. As I would always tell him before, "you are tangible expressions of God's grace in my life."

I could not fathom the fact that he is still embedded on my mind even though it has been years already, and that this one person I used to heavily loath would leave a long-lasting impact to me.

I always thank God for allowing this person to arrive in my life — even it was just for a season.

I appreciate our friendship.

I love it everytime we make an effort to avoid being biased and see things through different-reasonable lens when concerns come up.

When you give brutally honest feedbacks, even though it's painful sometimes, I always feel safe in the end — as if everything hidden has been finally put into light.

I wonder where are You going to take me now, Lord. Though, I have proven many times all You wanted for me was the best. Just that, I am at a point where I want to peak at the future You have for me.

"May tubig ka pala? Kinuhaan pa naman kita."

— Jedi, 2026

Ate Jedi made my heart kilig today. Not only that, idk pero ang lakas makaramdam (she handed me my bag before I even went for it).

I bought this milkyway projector months ago while I was in one of the lowest points of my life. I thought it would help me calm my mind. But I was wrong — the more I stared at it, all the more I found myself in chaos due to the silence these lights create in my mind.

But then I realized, wala e — things being chaotic was my only way out.

Went to San Miguel for some final reqs. Adulting stuff forda trike.

Smiling like this because I learned another couple wants me to sing on their wedding day.

It's always been my kol: the invitation per se is the talent fee. Fr.

Proud kami sayo ate Rein! Celebrating also each of your seasons — singlehood o jowahood man!