( * &. OUTER SPACE !! )

 A DRAMATIC sigh.  “ who’s gonna climb up here and murder you ? “ clarence said,  raising both eyebrows skeptically. he bit his tongue after a second. it would suck if he  said that and someone murdered her the next day. he glanced at her, chewing his bottom lip.                                “yeah, i know, but that doesn’t make any sense.”

“I DON’T  know, really. murderers are dedicated. they go to extreme extents to get the duty done. maybe i accidentally pissed someone off. maybe i fit some fantasy, i don’t know.” she’s been watching WAY too much criminal minds. she takes his pencil from him, doing a problem for him down on the paper.                              “does that help ? at least a little bit ??”

 CLIMBING through the window, clarence didn’t hesitate to throw himself onto alison’s  bed, staring at her with raised eyebrows.   “ there isn’t anyone but me who’d be stupid  enough to risk their life climbing up that trellis. “ clarence scoffed, pushing aside her  laptop a little so he could grab one of her pillows, resting on his tummy nearby her. he  reached for the bag he had thrown on the bed, tossing papers out of it.                                            “ this makes no fuckin’ sense. help ? “             

ALISON  would admit, she was uncomfortable. this was casual. it was almost like nothing had happened between the two, and she hated it. “a murderer would. those guys go to extreme extents.” she told him glancing over at the papers he had sprawled out in front of her, her hand moving up to rub her tired eyes.                                 “of course, of course. you gotta set them equal before anything.”

 WHILE  clarence and ali had barely spoken in the last week, he still cared deeply  for his best friend. that’d be why if you looked carefully at the roof beneath alison’s  window, you’d see clare crouched there, fucking with the window to try to open it.  of course it was locked.  “ HEY !  “  he tapped on the window, whispering harshly.                     “ since when do you lock me out, alison ? —— let me in ! “

THE SOUND  of his voice screaming out made her jump, just about knocking her laptop off of the bed. it was clare. not someone she expected, but she was glad. alison missed him, but they hadn’t talked. not at all, not since their little night together. a night that had left her terribly confused. she pulled herself off her bed, opening up her window for him and stepping back to leave him room to crawl in.                             “ sorry, sorry !! y’know i get paranoid about people breaking in. ”

But at night it’s a little tougher because it’s quieter and darker. And without all the noise around you, you sort of realise it’s just you.

I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself.