The Musings Of A Monotonous Human

It's 18 degrees Fahrenheit outside and well...it's a tad bit cold.

So, my sister started reading this book titled Who Moved My Cheese? It's this story about these two little people (Hem & Haw) and these two mice (Sniff and Scurry) who live in this maze. They're on the search for cheese. I won't say anything else unless you want to read it but despite the simplistic sound of it all, the book is very helpful. It's about finding your cheese in life, whether that be getting a Ph.D. or making music or something like falling in love, starting a family. Everybody has different goals in life but the main premise of the book is to just help you find your way to that.

It denounces the fear of change, it makes one really want to get up and go do something after they're done reading. Or at least that's how I felt. Again, people are different from each other but similar...yeah. But, the main point of all this is that change happens every day. I don't know if I handle it well, probably not. The four main characters are relatable in that you can dwell on who moved your cheese or you can pick up the pieces to start over again. Some will wonder where it went and others will wonder how they can get new cheese. It really does seem simple but if you're struggling with changes in your life, I highly recommend this book.

More recently I've made a pretty terrifying decision to move to Denver, Colorado. The question is when? But the decision was made. It's terrifying because I've always moved with my family, always migrated as a pack, but now I'll be doing it alone and I don't know how I feel about that. There's also the change of finding a job, going to college, attempting to find a life I want to live. None of these things are easy when life is in turmoil. You do nothing but lay there and think, ripping yourself to shreds with your own thoughts, and you need to change that too. That isn't a healthy way to think.

So yes. Go look for this book. Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson, M.D

There's something that needs to be said. These words can't be taken back once I get them down for you to see so please...if you or somebody you know and/or love is struggling with suicide, please keep reading.

I'm not going to start a whole thing out about pleading for your life. Your life is in your hands and not mine. What you do with your life is up to you but before you completely off yourself, keep reading. I have a lot of people in my life who want to commit suicide. Who have actually made attempts to do so and I realize just how powerless I am to stop them. They're going to do what they want regardless of what I say but you know what I can do for them? I can listen to them. If you need to be heard, there is somebody in your life (or somebody you have yet to meet) that will listen to you. That will hear you out and just be there for you. That's all we, the quiet ones on the other side of the suicide, can really do. Love them with unconditional love and support them with what we can. To let them know how much we care, to speak with them, to hear them.

As I type these very words, somewhere in the world there is a heart that stops beating because the person decided they weren't worth it or that they didn't deserve to live. You know what? You guys are worth the air you breathe and the love you receive. You deserve to live because there are people in your lives that wouldn't know what they would do without you. I was suicidal once too and I asked about three people in my life how they would feel, what they would think, if I just suddenly wasn't here one day and I practically started crying when I heard their responses. Somewhere out there, somebody loves and needs you.

We're a busy group of living organisms. We're always working or getting an education but have we stopped to examine our lives and those in our lives? How are your friends, family, co-workers, and even you, yourself, doing? Maybe it's too late and you've already lost somebody. To which I say, my condolences go out to you and I am so terribly sorry that you lost somebody to suicide. Suicide isn't the answer and if something is going on...please go talk to somebody. Do us all a favor and write this down somewhere where you will see it every morning when you get up to get ready for school or work or whatever it is that is such an obligation that you have no choice on whether you get up or not: "You is kind, you is smart, you is important."

I'm going to leave you with a few quotes. Keep them, live by them, and remember that there is somebody there for you. Whether it be a guidance counselor or a parent, a teacher, a friend, somebody out there is able and willing to listen to you. You just have to stick around long enough to find them and if you're being bullied, again...tell somebody. Let's try to save a few extra heart beats tonight...

Quotes

 "Nobody important? Blimey, that's amazing. You know that in nine hundred years of time and space and I've never met anybody who wasn't important before." ~ Dr. Who

“Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?” ― Albert Camus

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.” ― Lucius Annaeus Seneca

“When people kill themselves, they think they're ending the pain, but all they're doing is passing it on to those they leave behind.” ― Jeannette Walls

“To be or not to be. That's not really a question.” ― Jean-Luc Godard

“Suicide is not a blot on anyone’s name; it is a tragedy ” ― Kay Redfield Jamison, Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide    

“My best friend is dead, and I could have saved her. It’s so wrong so completely and painfully wrong, that I walked through my front door tonight smiling.” ― Nina LaCour, Hold Still    

“The trouble about jumping was that if you didn't pick the right number of stories, you might still be alive when you hit bottom.” ― Sylvia Plath

“To write poetry and to commit suicide, apparently so contradictory, had really been the same, attempts at escape.” ― John Fowles

“It's better to have a gay life of it than to commit suicide.” ― Vincent van Gogh

“I wonder if it will rain after we die. When you kill yourself, you don't know what happens next, afterward.” ― Albert Borris

~The Wanderer

My coffee is getting colder, my dog is lapping up water like a race horse, and the weather has handed us 63 Fahrenheit today. My birthday is Friday and with that, I've done nothing but think. It isn't anything but a number, some would say, but when change is about to smack you in the face...wouldn't you brace yourself too? Unless it's one of those situations where you aren't aware of the smack coming. I feel for you, if you've ever been in that situation because smacks hurt. Sting, really.

This blog doesn't serve much of an educational purpose. It isn't a rant about being introverted or a rant about the inequality of bread in the bread aisle at the local grocery store. I am simply just getting some things off of my chest because I need to somehow. If you leave things bottled up, they just bubble and brew before boiling over the edge. Or you run out of water in the boil and it just burns up. Who knows? This could sum up exactly what you're feeling. You're in control of what you view. I've not strapped you to a chair and duct taped you down with your eyelids pried open. I'm not making you read this.

Back to the main point, however. Everybody, when young, can't wait to grow up. They can't wait to grow up and be like their older sibling or a parent or even a grandparent. Whoever they look up to, they can't wait to be older. I was that way when I was 10 and my sister was 16 but now that I'm 16, I want to be 10 again. To be delighted by the joys of childhood again. Nobody can really smile over the simplistic thought of Jack Frost nipping at your nose while they're crunching numbers or writing papers or even creating a power point for a really important business meeting. The funny thing about life is that it doesn't stop or slow down. We go from 10 to 16 in the blink of an eye. Yeah, puberty hits us in between and then we start going to what was deemed big kid school when we were like 7 at some point but we don't realize it because we're too busy trying to grow up.

Once we're grown up, however, we wonder what our younger selves were thinking. What's so great about this? Yeah, I get to stay up as late as I want now and I can pretty much do anything on my own (i.e. laundry, cook, etc.) I just wonder what the great thing about growing up is. Independence, freedom? Is that the big deal? Because it isn't so grand. Aren't kids my age supposed to go out with their friends and eat pizza or go bowling with them? Don't kids my age at least muster one boyfriend in their life? Don't they lose their virginity or get their heart broken by the same stupid boy? And if these are experiences of high school, why have I missed them? Although, they don't sound too grand either.

In the end of it all, we die. We get older, sell our soul to a corporation, and then we either retire, maybe with a pension, or die trying. And this day and age, it's hard to go live a little. Money is always tight, we're always penny pinching. The world requires money for things that want to be done. Dreams that are had. And this is where I begin to wrap this back up into it's tight little bow. Graduation comes first, then finding a job, then college. I'm overwhelmed, I am afraid, I am feeling alone, and the worst part is, I am. And no history degree or medical degree in college is going to fix that.

Money can't buy you happiness.

Growing up is mandatory but rough.

Don't be afraid to do what you want with your life (please tell me you didn't just YOLO.)

One day, I will come up with a more creative title for these posts nobody really cares about. Also, while I found a few blogs that caught my attention. Don't worry, I'm not going to start smack talking about people. I'm just going to share them with you because some are quite enjoyable (and relatable :D)

 http://www.introvertedblog.com/

http://www.crazyintrovert.com/

and...

http://themightyintrovert.blogspot.com/

Just to list a few :)

So, with those out there now...go click them. Read them. Um...after you read this post. You can read this later too with a nice up of tea. Why do I feel like I just lost views? But let's get (not overly) serious for a moment here. What type of hobbies do you, my dear extrovert, think introverts have? What type of jobs can we go? Again, we don't hate people. We love people (some of us, not all of us) but sometimes we'd rather be alone to recharge. Energizer bunny :D But anywho, to give you an answer to those two questions, I'm going to give a list of famous introverts and then I'm going to list a few extra things. But firstly...the fame.

I bet you didn't know that Clint Eastwood is an introvert? What about Tom Hanks?

Meg Ryan

Julia Roberts

Meryl Streep

Helen Hunt

Glenn Close

Steve Martin

Albert Einstein

Johnny Carson

http://mediagallery.usatoday.com/Famous+introverts/G3250 And there is the link where you can check out more.

Keep in mind that introvert isn't a synonym for hermit or one eyed, one horned, flying, purple people eater. But just look and those people, what they do. Who they are. That answers your questions. Not all introverts grow up to be actresses, writers, or Einstein. Some are found in corporations. Teachers, doctors, lawyers, and even public speakers.

I think the reason I started writing these is because I felt a sense of having to tell the world that hey, we're people too. There were years where I had to listen to my mother tell people I was shy because I would rather observe and listen instead of chat until my throat ran dry. It's not that I don't have words to say or that I struggle with how to put things. It's not that I can't speak for myself. Sometimes I like to just go curl up in bed with a nice book and a brick of chocolate, away from the world. But just know, despite the silence. Despite the oddities you may find within the introverts, we're people too. The hot blood that runs through your veins runs through ours too.