I resigned from my job. After almost a year to the day of stepping up into the role I am in and cleaning up an entire program with no experience, I resigned. Unpaid overtime, be woken up in the middle of the night with crisis calls, managing one of the largest staffs by one person in the company. I resigned. I feel like I'm giving up. People keep telling me that I didn't. That no one else would have lasted this long. And yet, I feel like walking away is giving up. I feel bad for the staff I am leaving behind and for myself as I walk away from the population I love working with. I hope in 6 months I look back at this time and can tell past me I made the right decision. But for now, I feel guilty, prideless and defeated.

It's been a little over 6 months now. I go to the gym again. I sleep ~9 hours a night. I have no responsibility. Work stays at work. My car no longer gets 500+ miles on it a week. I can't say I'm happy, but I have the head space to think about it now. I have time to care about me. I still feel like i gave up, but I gained my sanity instead.

and it breaks my heart

i’m proud of you for facing the days you really don’t want to face

I don’t do it willingly

i’m still proud of you for doing it

Are you guys okay with me being completely insane

she’s a 10 but doesn’t know how to regulate her emotions and goes from super obsessed to completely cold