YOU RING I'M RUNNING HOME

the most occidentalist cnovel I ever binged via MTL was about a chinese guy reincarnating into europe right before the black plague & teaching the savage europeans how to cook food and do agriculture and industry properly and inventing an innoculation for the plague and he wound up gay marrying the sexy young pope & collecting a really unreasonable number of magical animal companions along the way, including a tiger. the tiger's introduction led to my favorite author's note in the following chapter, which was basically "I've been informed Europe doesn't have tigers but I don't really give a fuck" ... that was kind of charming.

all yall make jokes about couples and their nonromantic third wheel having fun together, but im the one getting treated to food tonight by the couple im nonromantically third wheeling. you wish you were me

I'm sorry I read this as "necromantic third wheel" and went on a very rapid powerful imagination adventure. hello lovebirds I'm the skeleton here for breadsticks

ağlıycam

just got a call from the american psychiatric association. you old dogs, i said, picking up on the first ring. how many times i gotta tell you to lose this number. i don’t want you coming around here anymore. “listen, toots, we’ve been doing some thinking,” they says, and i says, guess there’s a first time for everything. “you’re a real funny dame, sugardoll. reviewing criticism, we’ve determined that the biggest issue with our previous diagnostic and statistic manuals of mental disorders is the anonymity of it all. we’ve been circling around a vague figure of the mentally well without defining the traits of a mentally well person. there’s no personality. what we need is a cute broad with a couple opinions to model the psychological norm.” so i’m saying back up and give it to me straight: i’m the new standard of sanity? can i get that in writing? and they say, “as the american psychiatric association we hereby state that you are the baseline and any deviations from your personality are deviations from the very concept of sanity, at least in the united states psychiatric system.” they’re making it public tomorrow. it’s a nice gig, if you really want to know. never thought they’d let a woman do it.

i see that you media addicted louts have filled your tomodachi life islands with video game and movie characters instead of great leftist thinkers

some bozo with the username laundryguy47 keeps jumping in to all my Halo matches and ruining them. what he does is he turns them into some kinda laundry RP. ok, listen, what i mean is, when he joins the game he gets on mic and tells everyone to go to a certain spot on the map and pretend like its a coin operated laundromat and we're all doing laundry there. and they just do it. everybody stops killing eachother like you're supposed to in the game and they go pretend to do laundry for the whole match. nobody even questions it, they all just do it like thats normal. but that's not normal. its sickening and it cant be allowed to continue

some of the sessions have been kinda fun though i gotta say. there's actually quite a bit more depth to pretend laundry than you might think. lately ive been experimenting with pretending to use fabric softener