Mockingbird

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝐀𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐒.𝐇.𝐈.𝐄.𝐋.𝐃. (𝟑𝐱𝟎𝟔)

❛ Now that I’ve untangled you, how about you do something for me? ❜ ❛ All right! I just don’t see why you like it so much! ❜ ❛ Babe, if you know it through a wall, you know it too well. ❜ ❛ I’m fine! Hey, I’m great! I’m just, I’m just proud of us. ❜ ❛ I realize that you didn’t expect to walk in and see that, but… Let me explain, okay? ❜ ❛ We weren’t doing anything!  ❜ ❛ Well, maybe the next batch, we could all get some. ❜ ❛ I’m sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. ❜ ❛ How could you mess this up? It’s so easy. ❜ ❛ If I wanted this cake to be a disaster, I would have baked it myself! ❜ ❛ I know what you’re thinking! The resemblance is uncanny! ❜ ❛ It’s the longest I’ve ever spent on a computer without looking at porn. ❜ ❛ You just got to accept the fact that this is going to cost you a lot of money. ❜ ❛ Dude, I don’t think you should be wearing that. ❜ ❛ Oh, I see. Somebody’s afraid of a little competition with the ladies? ❜ ❛ If you had to, what would you give up? Food or sex? ❜ ❛ It’s perfect! It’s everything we’ve been looking for! ❜ ❛ What? When have I ever touched myself in front of you guys? ❜ ❛ Why don’t you sit down… get yourself comfortable… because I have a little surprise for you. ❜ ❛ Please just…just pull yourself together okay? ❜ ❛ We’re not a couple- we’re definitely not a couple. ❜ ❛ What, I’m not good enough for you? ❜ ❛ Wow, you, uh, you seem pretty insulted by that.. ❜ ❛ We’re not gonna have this conversation again. ❜ ❛ Oh, you are, you really do like big butts, don’t you? ❜ ❛ Why can’t you be supportive? ❜ ❛ You have always been jealous of me! ❜ ❛ You want to know why you don’t want me to have the baby? ❜ ❛ You have to have everything and I couldn’t have anything. ❜ ❛ Wait a minute; you don’t think it was intentional? ❜ ❛ So, does anybody have any ideas how to organize this?  ❜ ❛ Uh, don’t you think that would be a little weird? ❜ ❛ We were on a break! ❜ ❛ For the last time, I don’t care what the computer says. ❜ ❛ I’m kind of going through a dry spell, sex wise.. ❜ ❛ I’m across the street, having sex right now. ❜ ❛ Whoa—hey—wh-wh-what do you got there? What is that? ❜ ❛ What? Are you afraid you’re gonna run out? ❜ ❛ Any minute now, the police will be here. ❜ ❛ Well, if you’re gonna get to know him then you’d better do it now. ❜ ❛ Well, excuse me for trying to put a positive spin on a traffic jam! ❜ ❛ If only there was something in your head to control the things you say! ❜ ❛ You know what, ____? Why don’t you just put that on your answering machine! ❜ ❛ Oh, I’m sorry, were you speaking to me or sleeping with someone else? ❜ ❛ There is no right or wrong, here. ❜ ❛ You just asked me whether I wanted to go to bed with you tonight! ❜ ❛ You know how some people walk in a room and everybody takes notice? ❜ ❛ It’s never taken me a week to get over a relationship. ❜ ❛ It’s never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship. ❜ ❛ Why would you start again after chewing all that quitting gum? ❜ ❛ I started using humor as a defense mechanism. ❜ ❛ Uh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? ❜ ❛ Now it’s not gonna make any sense! ❜ ❛ It’s not the sweater. It’s what’s underneath the sweater that counts. ❜ ❛ You’re so stupid, how are you not yet extinct? ❜ ❛ I broke up with you because I was mad at you, not because I stopped loving you. ❜ ❛ Why would you need to say “hi” to them? ❜ ❛ I’m just going to wander around in the rain. ❜ ❛ I just got us dates with two unbelievably cute nurses. ❜ ❛ That’s kind of a masculine name, don’t you think? ❜ ❛ “Don’t count on it.” Seems like it works to me. ❜ ❛ I went to the park and let a bee sting me. ❜ ❛ I’m really getting tired of always sneaking around all the time. ❜ ❛ I don’t even feel like I know you any more.  ❜ ❛ Whatever you say, I’ll believe you. ❜ ❛ All right, I’m just going to ask you this one time. ❜ ❛ I’m surprised you didn’t go home wearing your lunch! ❜ ❛ Someday I’ll tell you about the time I stabbed a cop! ❜ ❛ Look, we’re not just messing around!  ❜ ❛ I’m so sorry that you had to find out this way. ❜ ❛ You guys probably wanna get some hugs in too, huh? ❜ ❛ You were worried about me? You didn’t know how I was going to react? ❜ ❛ Do you really think the best reason to get married is because you’re sorry? ❜ ❛ I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week. ❜ ❛ I can’t talk you out of this. It’s a great life. ❜ ❛ I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open. ❜ ❛ I mean, didn’t you even run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? ❜ ❛ What did you do that bad that make dad cut you off? ❜ ❛ I guess it makes sense, you know, having such a terrible childhood. ❜ ❛ I had a terrible childhood and I don’t do porn. ❜ ❛ I always thought having a heart attack was nature’s way of telling you to die! ❜ ❛ I mean… you — you are going to die, but you’re not gonna die today. ❜ ❛ I mean, if you’re not careful, you may not get married at all this year. ❜ ❛ Can we come in yet? We’re dying out here! ❜ ❛ I didn’t know it was a big secret. ❜ ❛ Why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine? ❜ ❛ It’s a known fact that women love babies, all right? ❜ ❛ I was doing great before I found out about you! ❜ ❛ And it’s not like I didn’t try, but things got in the way! ❜ ❛ I’ve been doing this for ten years and I haven’t gotten anywhere. ❜ ❛ You know what we should do? We should do, like, a soap opera theme. ❜ ❛ Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?  ❜ ❛ What’s the worst that could happen? ❜ ❛ How do you expect me to grow if you won’t let me blow? ❜ ❛ Why must everybody watch me sleep? ❜ ❛ Haven’t you ever gotten beat up before? ❜ ❛ It’s such a shame you can’t see what finger I’m holding up. ❜ ❛ I didn’t know what I was taking responsibility for! ❜ ❛ When I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me. ❜ ❛ I would’ve thought it was the other way around. ❜ ❛ I remember I cried the night you made that up. ❜

I was right.

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