I need to get this out of my head, but I'm putting in under the cut, so if you rather skip ooc content, you can.
My grandfather died on Friday. He apparently had a heart attack in his sleep, woke up, didn't feel right, and went to the hospital. And died yesterday afternoon.
The thing is, he was alive in the hospital for HOURS. And nobody called me until AFTER he was gone.
That really hurts because I didn't get to say goodbye. What hurts even worse, is my family went out to dinner to process everything, literally blocks away from where I was crying my eyes out at home, and not one person thought let's include the youngest granddaughter. I didn't know they had gone to dinner to grieve and talk things out as a family until my dad called and said that he was coming over so that my grandmother could see me for 30 minutes.
I had to fucking text my dad and aunt this morning and tell them I wanted to be there today to support my grandma as we made arrangements.
And then I was trying to express how devastated and fucking hurt I was. And my narcissistic asshole of a father looks at me and goes: "it's hard for all of us, Tara, but that's life, and you got to get used to it."
MOTHER FUCKER NO ONE SAID THAT THIS WASN'T FUCKING HARD FOR YOU, ALL I SAID WAS THAT I FELT LIKE I NEEDED TO BE DOING SOMETHING, YOU KNOW LIKE BEING FUCKING HELPFUL. YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!
You people didn't inform me in time to say goodbye. You left me alone to cry my eyes out while you used each other for support. And now you are making me feel like shit for trying to express how I feel.
And I can't say any of that because he just lost his dad.
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