code: blackbird.

these can be platonic or romantic. add + REVERSE to reverse the action

[ hug] sender wraps receiver in a hug from behind

[ hand ] sender places their hand on receiver

[ bed ] sender crawls into bed next to receiver

[ hair ] sender brushes their hand through receiver’s hair

[ neck ] sender places their hand on receiver to calm them

[ forehead ] sender kisses receiver on the forehead

[ link ] sender links arms with receiver

[ swing ] sender swings their joined hands with receiver

[ piggy back ] sender jumps on receiver’s back asking for a piggyback

[ ruffle ] sender ruffles receiver’s hair

[ nose ] sender boops receiver on the nose

[ sling ] sender slings their arm over receiver’s shoulder

[ sing ] sender tries to get receiver to sing with them

[ food ] sender shares their food with receiver

[ drink ] sender tries to offer receiver a drink to comfort them

sender to receiver:

[ HOOK ] sender hooking a finger beneath receiver's jaw

[ PINCH ] sender holding receiver's chin between their thumb and forefinger

[ LOOK ] sender holding receiver's jaw and turning their head to look at them

[ PICK ] sender telling receiver to "hold still" while they remove something from their hair

[ GRAZE ] sender brushes their fingertip back and forth along receiver's jaw while they listen to receiver talk

[ DIRECT ] sender seeing that receiver is going the wrong way, takes hold of their shoulders from behind and turns them the right direction

[ BACK ] sender grabs receiver's wrist and tugs them closer when receiver tries to walk away.

[ TOY ] sender fidgets with something receiver is wearing while receiver talks to them

[ STROKE ] sender absentmindedly plays with receiver's hair while they're focused on another task

[ DEPART ] sender is saying goodbye and kisses receiver's forehead

[ DRESS ] sender without prompting helps receiver put on a jacket

[ UNDRESS ] sender helps receiver remove an article of clothing or jewelry

[ REFILL ] sender refills receiver's drink before they can ask or do it themselves

[ FIX ] sender cleans something off of receiver's face

[ RUB ] sender places their hand around the back of receiver's neck, rubbing their thumb just under their ear

[ PULL ] sender sits next to receiver and places their arm around their shoulders, gently pulling them into their side

[ BECKON ] sender sees receiver and lifts their arm up so they can come hug/cuddle them

[ GLIDE ] sender is gently rubbing/scratching receivers back and rubs their knuckle down their spine to the small of their back

[ CHEER ] seeing that receiver is scowling, sender rubs their thumb over the furrow between receiver's brows

[ TUCK ] sender finds receiver asleep somewhere and puts a blanket or their own coat over them

[ TRACE ] sender brushes their fingers along receiver's forehead, temple and cheekbone

[ BRUSH ] sender brushes their hand up and down receiver's arm as they walk past them

[ KEEP ] sender holds receiver's arm just above the elbow while they're talking or to get their attention

[ LEAN ] sender looks over receiver's shoulder who is sitting, placing a hand on their desk while receiver shows them something

[ NUDGE ] sender grabs the chair receiver is sitting in and pulls it closer

[ LISTEN ] sender is listening to receiver talk and picks up an object that belongs to receiver to fidget with

[ SEARCH ] sender searches out receiver's gaze in a crowded room either for approval or to check if they're okay

[ SMOOTH ] sender smooths their thumb over receiver's eyebrow

[ SLIP ] sender places their hand in receiver's back pocket while they walk together

receiver to sender:

[ HOOKING ] receiver hooking a finger beneath sender's jaw

[ PINCHING ] receiver holding sender's chin between their thumb and forefinger

[ LOOKING ] receiver holding sender's jaw and turning their head to look at them

[ PICKING ] receiver telling sender to "hold still" while they remove something from their hair

[ GRAZING ] receiver brushes their fingertip back and forth along sender's jaw while they listen to sender talk

[ DIRECTING ] receiver seeing that sender is going the wrong way, takes hold of their shoulders from behind and turns them the right direction

[ BACKING ] receiver grabs sender's wrist and tugs them closer when sender tries to walk away.

[ TOYING ] receiver fidgets with something sender is wearing while sender talks to them

[ STROKING ] receiver absentmindedly plays with sender's hair while they're focused on another task

[ DEPARTING ] receiver is saying goodbye and kisses sender's forehead

[ DRESSING ] receiver without prompting helps sender put on a jacket

[ UNDRESSING ] receiver helps sender remove an article of clothing or jewelry

[ REFILLING ] receiver refills sender's drink before they can ask or do it themselves

[ FIXING ] receiver cleans something off of senders face

[ RUBBING ] receiver places their hand around the back of receiver's neck, rubbing their thumb just under their ear

[ PULLING ] receiver sits next to sender and places their arm around their shoulders, gently pulling them into their side

[ BECKONING ] receiver sees sender and lifts their arm up so they can come hug/cuddle them

[ GLIDING ] receiver is gently rubbing/scratching sender's back and rubs their knuckle down their spine to the small of their back

[ CHEERING ] seeing that sender is scowling, receiver rubs their thumb over the furrow between sender's brows

[ TUCKING ] receiver finds sender asleep somewhere and puts a blanket or their own coat over them

[ TRACING ] receiver brushes their fingers along sender's forehead, temple and cheekbone

[ BRUSHING ] receiver brushes their hand up and down sender's arm as they walk past them

[ KEEPING ] receiver holds sender's arm just above the elbow while they're talking or to get their attention

[ LEANING ] receiver looks over sender's shoulder who is sitting, placing a hand on their desk while sender shows them something

[ NUDGING ] receiver grabs the chair sender is sitting in and pulls it closer

[ LISTENING ] receiver is listening to sender talk and picks up an object that belongs to sender to fidget with

[ SEARCHING ] receiver seeks out sender's gaze in a crowded room either for approval or to check that they're okay

[ SMOOTHING ] receiver smooths their thumb over sender's eyebrow

taking as many photos of the other as possible

singing each other's favorite songs as karaoke together

changing the lyrics to a song to be the other's name

going to concerts together, yelling the lyrics to each other

taking the other's makeup off for them when they're too tired

remembering the other's food/coffee order

picking up the other's favorite video games and getting really into it

wearing the other's favorite colours, even when they're apart

sharing a hammock

always bringing up the other one when talking to other people

placing a hand on the other's thigh when sitting next to each other

picking flowers out of grass because the other likes them

buying furniture/blankets/decor that's the other's favorite colors

opening doors for the other

driving for the other when they get too tired

dancing together at a party/wedding

giving the other a piggyback ride when their shoes hurt their feet

telling each other secrets

learning to cook/bake the other's favorite foods

finally kissing the person you’ve been pining for.

pulling them in for a kiss while showering together.

a kiss shared during a game  ( truth or dare,  spin the bottle,  etc ).

kissing your lover to show you forgive them.

a coy, chaste kiss meant to say thank you.

an intimate kiss full of relief the second you're finally alone.

wiping away your lover’s tears as you kiss them.

a kiss muffled by laughter in a library, hidden away among the shelves.

lazy kisses on the sofa while the television runs.

kisses while wrapping your legs around your lover.

a quick peck on the cheek as one party rushes off.

a kiss to prove you don’t have feelings for them.

a kiss to convince them not to leave bed in the morning.

a kiss to distract them from stitching a wound.

a parting kiss before one party goes away for a long time.

biting their lip amidst a kiss, drawing blood.

heated kisses while tugging on their hair.

abruptly kissing a stranger to scare off the people following you.

an emotional kiss bringing one party to tears.

a bruising kiss full of desperation and urgency.

distracting your lover from a task by kissing their neck.

standing on your tiptoes to kiss their forehead.

kissing down the column of your lover's neck, leaving marks.

a kiss while being reunited after a long time.

kissing your lover in a moment of sheer joy.

a dutiful kiss with no true feeling behind it.

kissing your lover to take away their pain.

colliding with a wall, then each other's lips.

a kiss placed over their freshly bandaged wound.

a kiss while slow dancing close and intimately.

sharing a spontaneous kiss with a stranger.

an abrupt ,  heated kiss during the middle of a fight.

a kiss motivated by a dare from a third party.

an adrenaline-fueled kiss while standing on the ledge of a rooftop.

kissing them to shut them up.

urgent, messy kisses as both parties scramble to undress.

a kiss to wake your lover up in the morning.

sharing a kiss in a heavy downpour of rain.

kissing your lover just above their waistband.

kissing your partner to seal a marriage.

pushing your love down onto the bed to worship their body with kisses.

a possessive kiss to stake a claim.

a kiss to resolve suppressed ( romantic / sexual ) tension.

a kiss attempting to convince the other party to stay.

kissing the top of their head as you hold them.

a risky kiss between forbidden lovers.

a kiss while hiding away from flashing cameras.

a kiss that means absolutely nothing.

kissing the swell of your lover's breast.

a kiss that leaves lipstick stains.

a kiss shared on a rooftop while the sun ( sets / rises ).

a flirtatious kiss on the back of the hand.

sensual kisses down the length of their back.

kissing them to confess your true feelings.

sneaking off to a public bathroom to make out.

a kiss to forgive one another after a fight.

a kiss on the forehead as the other sleeps.

an  ( accidental / mutually )  drunken kiss.

an unexpected kiss during a fake dating scheme.

kissing your partner after they've given you head.

caging your lover against a wall with your arms to kiss them.

a kiss after receiving good news.

an emotional kiss, relieved to find your lover alive.

crowded, heated kisses in the backseat of a car.

a tentative ,  exploratory kiss between friends.

a kiss shared between enemies during combat.

a kiss that smears blood everywhere.

kissing them even though you know you shouldn't.

kissing your lover after believing you’d lost them.

a kiss after a devastating event ,  meant to comfort.

a possessive kiss in front of a jealous third party.

kisses while pulling them into your lap.

a heated kiss while holding them by the throat.

kissing your lover under the night sky while stargazing.

a kiss to seal a promise that you just made.

kissing your lover lazily first thing in the morning.

holding your lover by the jaw to kiss them.

holding their face, kissing the tears from their cheeks.

a kiss to your lover’s stomach as you travel down their body.

an abrupt kiss that you melt into after a moment of hesitation.

sleepy ,  domestic morning kisses in the kitchen while making breakfast.

a rushed kiss before one party leaves for work.

finally kissing the person you’ve been pining for.

pulling them in for a kiss while showering together.

a kiss shared during a game  ( truth or dare,  spin the bottle,  etc ).

kissing your lover to show you forgive them.

a coy, chaste kiss meant to say thank you.

an intimate kiss full of relief the second you're finally alone.

wiping away your lover’s tears as you kiss them.

a kiss muffled by laughter in a library, hidden away among the shelves.

lazy kisses on the sofa while the television runs.

kisses while wrapping your legs around your lover.

a quick peck on the cheek as one party rushes off.

a kiss to prove you don’t have feelings for them.

a kiss to convince them not to leave bed in the morning.

a kiss to distract them from stitching a wound.

a parting kiss before one party goes away for a long time.

biting their lip amidst a kiss, drawing blood.

heated kisses while tugging on their hair.

abruptly kissing a stranger to scare off the people following you.

an emotional kiss bringing one party to tears.

a bruising kiss full of desperation and urgency.

distracting your lover from a task by kissing their neck.

standing on your tiptoes to kiss their forehead.

kissing down the column of your lover's neck, leaving marks.

a kiss while being reunited after a long time.

kissing your lover in a moment of sheer joy.

a dutiful kiss with no true feeling behind it.

kissing your lover to take away their pain.

colliding with a wall, then each other's lips.

a kiss placed over their freshly bandaged wound.

a kiss while slow dancing close and intimately.

sharing a spontaneous kiss with a stranger.

an abrupt ,  heated kiss during the middle of a fight.

a kiss motivated by a dare from a third party.

an adrenaline-fueled kiss while standing on the ledge of a rooftop.

kissing them to shut them up.

urgent, messy kisses as both parties scramble to undress.

a kiss to wake your lover up in the morning.

sharing a kiss in a heavy downpour of rain.

kissing your lover just above their waistband.

kissing your partner to seal a marriage.

pushing your love down onto the bed to worship their body with kisses.

a possessive kiss to stake a claim.

a kiss to resolve suppressed ( romantic / sexual ) tension.

a kiss attempting to convince the other party to stay.

kissing the top of their head as you hold them.

a risky kiss between forbidden lovers.

a kiss while hiding away from flashing cameras.

a kiss that means absolutely nothing.

kissing the swell of your lover's breast.

a kiss that leaves lipstick stains.

a kiss shared on a rooftop while the sun ( sets / rises ).

a flirtatious kiss on the back of the hand.

sensual kisses down the length of their back.

kissing them to confess your true feelings.

sneaking off to a public bathroom to make out.

a kiss to forgive one another after a fight.

a kiss on the forehead as the other sleeps.

an  ( accidental / mutually )  drunken kiss.

an unexpected kiss during a fake dating scheme.

kissing your partner after they've given you head.

caging your lover against a wall with your arms to kiss them.

a kiss after receiving good news.

an emotional kiss, relieved to find your lover alive.

crowded, heated kisses in the backseat of a car.

a tentative ,  exploratory kiss between friends.

a kiss shared between enemies during combat.

a kiss that smears blood everywhere.

kissing them even though you know you shouldn't.

kissing your lover after believing you’d lost them.

a kiss after a devastating event ,  meant to comfort.

a possessive kiss in front of a jealous third party.

kisses while pulling them into your lap.

a heated kiss while holding them by the throat.

kissing your lover under the night sky while stargazing.

a kiss to seal a promise that you just made.

kissing your lover lazily first thing in the morning.

holding your lover by the jaw to kiss them.

holding their face, kissing the tears from their cheeks.

a kiss to your lover’s stomach as you travel down their body.

an abrupt kiss that you melt into after a moment of hesitation.

sleepy ,  domestic morning kisses in the kitchen while making breakfast.

a rushed kiss before one party leaves for work.

𝗮𝘄𝗸𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱 / 𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲

"So... about last night."

"Do you remember anything, or should I start from the top?"

"We said it wouldn’t mean anything. Did that change?"

"You can sneak out, or we can talk like adults."

“Did we make a mistake?”

 𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁 / 𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲

"I could get used to waking up next to you."

"You drooled on my arm, just FYI."

"I made coffee. Thought you’d want to talk before the world comes back in."

"Let’s stay like this a little longer."

"Your hair’s a mess. It’s cute."

 𝗳𝘂𝗻𝗻𝘆 / 𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱

"Okay, whose sock is this?"

"I thought that was a dream. It wasn’t, was it?"

"Is this the part where I apologize or make breakfast?"

"I swear I’ve never done that before."

"Please tell me I didn’t cry over pizza last night."

 𝗿𝗲𝗴𝗿𝗲𝘁𝗳𝘂𝗹 / 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹

"We shouldn't have done that."

"I still love them. I'm sorry."

"I wish it could be more than just this."

"You deserve better than a night I can't remember."

"I don’t know what happens next."

 𝘀𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽𝘆 / 𝗰𝗮𝘀𝘂𝗮𝗹

"Mmmph... Five more minutes."

"You’re hogging the blanket again."

"Coffee or cuddles first?"

"Your alarm’s been going off for ten minutes."

JENNIFER JAREAU

the banter was playful. SOMETHING HE HAD A FEELING SHE NEEDS, a bit of light in the midst of the darkness that surrounds her every day at work. and if he could ease that a little for her? give her some peace of mind? he would try his absolute hardest. he would be there, kelly would show up. for her, for them. for whatever this was - because the way she snuggles up to him feels a lot more like a relationship - and less like a casual hookup. maybe they couldn't allow themselves the use of the word casual after being exclusives for ... kelly doesn't even remember how long. he didn't do relationships, not because he didn't want to - but because he didn't know how. maybe he could try harder this time, give more of himself. the thoughts starts to spin in his head as he decides to let them be, fingers wrangle free her elastic that had been holding back the hair from breaking entirely free - it did a terrible job, by the way. so he lowers down and peppers kisses all over her face. "so we get forty more minutes in bed, if i don't hog the bathroom, right? or do you need to do the whole ... extensive-girl-morning-routine?" kelly teases her - but the answer is probably yes, so he prepares mentally to let go of her, to miss her weight against himself.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ💋ɞ˚‧｡⋆ 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐦𝐞. 𝐧𝐨𝐰. (VERY USFT!!!!) 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 - send ‘reverse’ for the sender and receiver to swap. adjust wording as needed!

[ grind ] sender straddles receiver’s lap and starts grinding against them, slow and intentional

[ whisper ] sender leans in and whispers exactly what they want to do to receiver in excruciating detail

[ wristgrab ] in the middle of a heated moment, sender pins receiver’s wrists above their head

[ needy ] sender pulls receiver into their lap, desperate and breathless, kissing them like it’s not enough

[ tease ] sender drags their lips and tongue down the length of receiver’s stomach, but stops just before going lower

[ undone ] sender undresses receiver one piece of clothing at a time, dragging it out with loaded glances

[ taste ] sender drops to their knees and starts kissing up the inside of receiver’s thighs

[ lapfull ] sender drags receiver onto their lap in the middle of a conversation, their hands already wandering

[ control ] sender takes full control, guiding receiver’s hands, body, and every motion

[ tug ] sender grips receiver’s hair and yanks their head back to kiss them roughly

[ choke ] sender wraps a hand lightly around receiver’s throat while their lips are barely apart

[ lipbite ] sender bites down on receiver’s bottom lip while grinding against them

[ praise ] in the middle of it all, sender whispers praise between every movement "just like that," "you're doing so good," "don’t stop"

[ beg ] sender makes receiver beg for it

[ mouthy ] sender licks into receiver’s mouth mid-kiss, messy and aggressive

[ suck ] sender sucks a mark into receiver’s neck, possessive and without shame

[ edge ] sender brings receiver right to the brink, over and over, refusing to let them finish

[ wrecked ] sender has one goal: to leave receiver trembling and ruined beneath them

[ needy grind ] clothes still on, sender grinds against receiver until they’re both panting, desperate for more

[ between ] sender slips a hand between receiver’s thighs while whispering, “you’ve been wanting this, haven’t you?”

[ ride ] sender pushes receiver down and climbs on top, holding eye contact the entire time

[ spit ] sender leans over and lets spit drip into receiver’s mouth before kissing them hard

[ mess ] clothes scattered, sheets ruined, bodies tangled—sender and receiver didn’t hold back

[ slow ] sender draws everything out. every stroke, every breath, every motion unbearably slow

[ possessive ] sender fucks receiver like they’re trying to make sure no one else ever will

[ overstim ] sender keeps going even after receiver's already shaking from release

[ grip ] sender grabs receiver by the hips, holding them in place while taking full control

[ hot & heavy ] sender and receiver go at it somewhere they absolutely shouldn’t

[ control freak ] sender lets receiver think they're in charge… until they flip the roles mid-way

[ lips everywhere ] sender kisses every part of receiver’s body.

[ breathless ] sender doesn’t let up until receiver is clawing at their back, gasping for air

[ all night ] sender makes sure receiver doesn’t sleep... again, and again, and again

[ tongue ] sender slides their tongue along receiver’s skin, taking their time tasting every inch

[ dark corner ] they don’t make it home! sender drags receiver into a shadowed corner and gets to work

[ eye contact ] sender holds eye contact the entire time they’re going down on receiver

[ mirror ] sender takes receiver in front of the mirror so they can both watch

𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

❝ i want to hear every sound you make. don’t hold back. ❞

❝ get on your knees—now. ❞

❝ you’re not leaving this bed until i say so. ❞

❝ look at you. all mine and dripping for it. ❞

❝ you said 'just one more time' last time, remember? ❞

❝ keep quiet, or they’ll hear. ❞

❝ is this what you wanted? me, like this, ruining you? ❞

❝ you’re shaking—already? we’ve barely started. ❞

❝ i haven’t even touched you yet, and you're already begging. ❞

❝ be good for me and spread your legs. ❞

❝ don’t you dare finish until i tell you to. ❞

❝ you’re going to be the death of me, but i’ll die happy. ❞

❝ say it. say you need me. say it louder. ❞

❝ i could do this all night. want to test me? ❞

❝ if you want more, use your words. ❞

❝ you look so pretty when you beg. ❞

❝ you’re not shy now, are you? ❞

❝ take it. like that. good. ❞

❝ tell me where you want my mouth. ❞

he would've kept teasing her about the unmade bed, but then she stepped into his grasp, wrapped her arms around him. hands locked in behind his neck, keeping him from moving - WHICH HE WASN'T GOING TO DO ANYWAY. why? because he's missed her. he worked the last twenty four hours, that always helped fill out the silence and emptiness when she was away - but it wasn't half as good as when she was home, and he got to be right here - in her little apartment with his favorite person.

"oh yeah? - he's under the bed?" kelly grins, leaning down to rub his nose against hers, stealing a couple of kisses before he pulls back, despite the whole thing feeling like torture. "i better check then, be the man who defends his side of the unmade bed, right?" no, they weren't officially dating - but kelly had a toothbrush in her bathroom and a spare key in his key bundle. it sat right next to the key to his own apartment, mixed with the keys for his mustang. like it belonged there. LIKE IT HAD STAKED IT'S CLAIM. "i missed you, y'know." he admits in a quiet whisper - like he was doing something illegal, confessing to a crime he was indeed very guilty of.

her life is always fast phased, and maybe she was a bit of a workaholic. outside of work, she still hung out with her team, especially emily and pen. barely had contact with her family anymore & her team had become that. trusted them, she had let them in ( at least further than most. ) and for a time, that's all she needed. then kelly came into her life, slowly got under her skin. it was supposed to just be fun. easy. and to be quite honest, it's still that. she just . . . she isn't quite sure what she would do, if he decided to walk away. if he figures this isn't what he wants anymore & leave her behind. it's a strange feeling if she is honest. because yeah, they have been going steady lately. exclusive. been together longer than any of her past relationships. but they've never talked about what exactly they are.

he's got a key to her apartment now tho. and he met the team she works with every day. she's met the people he work with & somehow she doesn't feel the need to cut things off here. make a clean break. this feeling she gets when being with him, the peace, how everything settles for a few moments, she doesn't want to be without it. just enjoy those moments they have together. a soft hum and smile grows when nose rub against hers, fingers thread through his hair before resting at the back of his neck. a snort escapes her & there is a playful little roll of eyes. yeah, she wasn't the most tidy person out there. can't exactly hide it either. not that she really tried that hard. " yeah, yeah, yeah, i don't really see the point in making the bed when you're just gonna sleep in it anyways, " looks pretty, but who's gonna see her bed except herself and him ? plus, she liked that her place looked lived in, not taken out of some magazine.

we are friends. and if i misread all of this, then i’m sorry.

you shouldn’t come in here. it’s not safe. i’m not safe.

this was supposed to be our second chance.

i can still tell when you’re scared.

if you’re not going to believe in yourself, i’ll have to do it for you.

sometimes what’s painful in the moment is what gets you where you need to go.

i’m sorry you met me. but i’m glad i got to know you.

i won’t apologize for protecting you from yourself.

be careful of the dark. too easy to lose your way.

it can’t be just you. i’m not leaving you here alone.

we both have things to be sorry for.

you’re the one part of all of this i don’t regret.

i wish i knew what made you this way.

i know you’re still trying to save me, but you can’t save someone who’s already dead.

don’t you talk to me about pain.

i always loved watching you sleep.

i’m just so tired of having to choose the least bad option.

we were happy once. weren’t we?

you seem upset. but you’d need feelings for that.

you can hate me, but you’re gonna have to trust me.

we do what we have to do to make sure we win.

why is it you are so willing to give everyone here the benefit of the doubt?

i’m tired. exhausted, under the weight of everything.

this is not murder, it’s survival. 

i think we’re more alike than you care to admit.

this is our chance. i’m not just gonna give up.

you deserve to have a life.

i can’t wait for you to see who you’re gonna become.

the worse you look, the better i do.

sometimes, helping hurts like hell.

you can’t keep picking a scab over and over.

can’t i just blame everything on my mother and be done with it?

the whole world’s haunted.

if anybody can do this, it’s us. we take what we got, and we make it work.

i don’t know you. and you don’t know me.

you’re everything i’m never gonna be.

i believe in you more than i’ve ever believed in myself.

i’m done licking my wounds.

i know i don’t need you, but that’s not the point. you’re supposed to fucking be here.

this is my home. i’m not going anywhere.

who the fuck has time for gestures?

when hell breaks lose, it breaks fast.

i’m generally a pleasant person. 

it’s built on blood and lies. it’s all it’ll ever be.

can you live without that pressure?

gonna be honest, kinda feels like you avoid me sometimes.

you’ve been in a mood lately.

i’m not as good as you hoped.

you don’t get to just drop this in somebody else’s lap and walk away.

we are all we have.

love no one, and no one can hurt you.

you’re happy? you’re allowed to be, in case you didn’t know.

so you can’t stay, you can’t go, you’re miserable either way?

you don’t trust anyone else to take care of things.

is this performative? you’re waiting for me to ask if you’re okay?

just because someone saved your life doesn’t mean you have to live the rest of it for them. 

you need me to be different. right?

this isn’t hell. it’s who we are.

i can feel you chasing something. i can feel you fixating on something.

i’m not great with consistency. 

i couldn’t imagine a world where i give less of a fuck.

that’s the thing with secrets. they almost never stay secret.

you can’t just walk away. not from me.

if you’re with me, i need you to say it. just say something.

for what it’s worth, i am with you. at least until i can’t be.

i just wish sometimes i had a map to figure you out.

there’s a big, beautiful world out there. go. fight for it. be brave.

i keep reminding myself that anger is just the soul’s attempt to avoid sadness.

there’s no point trying to outrun pain. it’ll just sit, patiently, and wait for you to get too tired to run. 

maybe you just don’t know me as well as you think you do.

you don’t quit on me, i won’t quit on you.

what are you gonna do, walk away? just keep on burying your head in the sand? you’d be okay with that after everything you’ve done?

yeah. i’m willing to walk away. are you?

you’re supposed to be keeping me from doing stupid shit, not the other way around.

that’s what we do, we protect each other.

we’re gonna make our lives count.

i’m really sorry. small words for something so big.

i kicked a hornet’s nest. asked too many questions.

what you have, you fight to keep it. and when you have nothing, you take to take.

we took a risk. maybe that’s how we keep living. we do what we need to do, no matter the risk.

i’m happy to break the rules for you if there’s something you want.

this is war. even if they don’t know it yet.

running away, that’s giving up. 

you’re good. i can see it in your eyes.

i can’t be with you right now.

it’s hard to keep up with you sometimes.

i’m gonna be honest, even if it is really awful and fucking terrible for you, i would like you to come.

do we think that’s gonna end well?

i think about you too much.

it feels like i’ve been starting forever.

wishes are for the weak.

my stomach’s all fucked up, i think i’m in love with them.

i’ve worked so hard to not blow up good things.

i just thought if we could’ve pushed past how scary it was, it could’ve been more scary, but maybe also like, incredible.

i hope you find some quiet. whatever that is for you.

i did it because i love you.

hurry up. we’re not staying.

look around you. do you see signs of hope here?

it’s hard to keep track of whose side you’re on.

sure, play hard to get. we both know you’re obsessed with me.

is that what you wanna hear? that i’m the bad guy? fine. i’ll be the bad guy.

you make a good couple. you’re both soft.

the toxin is you. no one is safe around you.

why would i give a shit what happens to you? i don’t even know you.

you do this all the time. hurt people then act like it’s all a joke.

i do fucked up shit all the time. it doesn’t mean anything.

you can push me away all you want, but i know you love me. 

a lie and a secret are two different things.

how do you make peace with all the terrible things you’ve done?

you’re just nothing without this constant drama. just a fucking empty hole. 

you’re so mean sometimes, you know?