Just Another Marvel Blog

Taking a note out of Steve’s book I slowly rose from the ground trying to get my bearing on the situation. The gauntlet was last in my arms before I was pummeled to the ground, my own personal power of having a force field could only hold for so long. I glanced over to see Dr. Strange still holding back the water that would surely drown us all. He held a single finger up and was meeting someone’s gaze. I turned my head to see Tony and Thanos. Thanos had all the stones, but I could tell by the look in Tony’s eyes he had a plan. I knew what that gauntlet could do. I knew what Tony thought he had to do. But I wasn’t going to let another one of my loved ones die. Not after Nat. 

Tony and I both arrived at Thanos at the same time. Tony attempted to reach for the stones, but one thing about having powers was that it made me a tad faster than the average human. I slipped on my emergency iron hand that Tony had given to me for the sole purpose of battle. Not this. I moved the pieces into my gauntlet and watched as Thanos chuckled to Tony and me,

“I am inevitable.” Thanos looked down at his gauntlet getting ready to snap, but once his eyes met the empty gauntlet he first turned to Tony who he presumed had the stones. But once they both came to the realization of where the stones really were, I couldn’t help but smirk at Thanos while Tony looked at me in horror. We both knew what I was about to do. We both knew I wasn’t going to come back from this. I pressed my fingers together and uttered my last words,

“And we’re the Avengers.” I took a deep breath in and snapped my fingers together. The surge of energy that flowed through my body felt like a star exploding inside me. I fell to the ground as the power ripped me from the inside.

When I felt the surge stop, I opened my eyes to see everyone else celebrating. I slowly turned my head to see others hugging and embracing. I tilted my head back up to the sky and focused on my breathing, although I could slowly feel life leaving my body with every breath. Tony was the first to rush to my side.

“No no why would you do that? It was supposed to be me, not you.” I could see the tears begin to build in his eyes and I could hear the sorrow in his voice.

“Hey, it’s gonna be alright. The world needs its best Avenger here. Plus who’s gonna look out for Peter.” I coughed up some blood while my vision started to blur in and out. Others rushed to my side to try and do something, but at this point, it felt pointless. Tony grabbed my hand and brushed my fallen hair to the side before placing a kiss on my forehead.

Suddenly Thor came rushing up as fast as he could, considering the state that he was in. He reached for my hand with the stones still intact in their place. I cringed as Thor tussled my hand to remove one of the stones.

“Thor stop I-“ once again I started to cough, but this time I could tell I only had a few minutes left. I looked back to Tony with tears forming in both our eyes realizing what was soon to come.

“Tony take care of yourself okay? I can’t go in peace unless you promise me that you’ll take care of yourself.”

“No one will make any promises today,” Thor mumbled as he swiftly pushed Tony to the side. I wanted to protest, but there was no use. Thor cut into the top part of my suit revealing only the very top of my chest near my neck. People were protesting in the background, but as the lights started to fade, I felt it best to close my eyes. Without warning, I felt a surge of energy in me arise as Thor pushed the soul stone into my chest. I felt the eruption all over again, but instead of feeling pain, I felt the warmth. As slow as death had been, whatever this was couldn’t have come soon enough. The pain washed out of me, and inside I could only feel calmness. With a loud ringing in my ears and with my eyes still closed I was terrified to open them. Either Thor wasn’t fast enough, or I was the luckiest bitch alive.

I worked up the courage to finally meet my fate, and as I opened them, I felt a sigh of relief and tears of joy as I saw all my friends in front of me. The one person who was missing was to the side, with his legs up to his chest and facing the opposite direction. I swallowed hard before managing to get my voice to work again,

“Tony Stark I did not just come back to life for you to ignore me.” Within the first word parting my lips, Tony scrambled to his feet to me. With help from Thor and Steve, I pushed myself up off the ground to embrace Tony.

“Don’t scare me like that ever again (y/n).”

“You mean don’t save the planet and risk my life to do so? You know I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Although I am glad to be alive.” I pushed my body into Tony’s taking in having another soul so close to mine. I pressed my lips into his, tasting the bitterness of dirt and iron leftover from the battle. Still, it was one of the sweetest kisses we had shared together. Tony wrapped his arm around my waist, afraid to let go as it was time to face a little bit of reality again.

“Thor I don’t want to complain about you saving my life, cause uhm I really do appreciate it buddy, but we needed to bring the stones back when we were done. And now we are done, and one stone short.” Thor chuckled his sober boisterous laugh that hadn’t been heard in ages as he patted me on the back, a little too hard I might add.

“Please, that is not for you to worry about (y/n). What’s important is that we did not lose another one of us. Now after all these years it’s time to rest.” Bruce and Steve looked very hesitant, but I, on the other hand, was ready to take a breather. I grabbed Tony’s hand and held it in mine before running over to go and hug some of the people I hadn’t seen in five years. As I was reuniting with Wanda and Bucky, I could overhear the last bit of Tony and Peters conversation.

“So you guys moved to the country?”

“Yep, we left the compound once I got back and we tried to cope. (Y/n) insisted on getting a cat and a dog though. Its been interesting.”

“I can imagine.”

After reuniting and getting somethings worked out, it was time to relax. For once the damage wasn’t to a populated area so we could take peace in knowing cleanup didn’t need to start that night.

Once back to the cabin in the country,  Tony and I stayed up till everyone was situated and waited up till Peters Aunt arrived. It was nice to hear the other voices as they filled our guest rooms as they all needed a place to stay. Finally settled, Tony and I retreated to our room and laid down in our bed with the dog and cat in their beds nearby. I rested my head on Tony’s chest as he iced his head from a post-battle headache. I could feel him inhale and exhale, while his heart beat smoothly.

“(Y/n) I love you so much, I know tomorrow, and the rest of our lives aren’t guaranteed, so it’s important to me that you know how much I love you.” I looked up at Tony before pushing myself forward and kissed him on the lips.

It was a cloudy Thursday, but then again I could have sworn that the sun hadn't appeared since that day. Everyone was in Bruce's lab, and we were all going over the data once again. Going over our numbers of how many people we had lost. Looking at the friends that had either died or possibly gone missing. In my head anyone missing was dead, to think they were alive was just wishful thinking. I watched as Peters' face came up, then Shuri, followed by Scott.

It was just a constant reminder of what we had lost. The others kept throwing out ideas of what to do and how to do it. I listened to their opinions but knew all of them were long-shots. I glanced over my shoulder to the other end of the room where Rocket was sitting. He hadn't talked to anyone since the day we lost everyone. He would just sit in front of the transmitter Bruce had set up to try and get into contact with anyone out in the galaxy. Whether it was rockets friends, or possibly Tony. We were all waiting for the day that the transmitter would go off.

Feeling sorry for Rocket, I left the conversation that was as always growing tension from arguments, and took a seat next to him. I didn't say anything but simply stared at the machine. I didn't know exactly how it worked, but from what Bruce had told us, once it starts blinking or making some sort of sound, it means that we picked something up.

Rocket and I sat there for about two hours as the others came and went from the lab. A few were trying to figure out some pager that Fury was fumbling with before he got turned to dust. Nat was trying to locate Clint, who we hadn't heard from. She checked his home and found four piles of dust inside. Meaning someone was either outside at the time, or someone had survived.

As we stared at the machine, Rocket finally had spoken for the first time since that terrible day.

“I always wondered why I avoided friends.” I turned to look at him. His face was tired and sad, as most everyone's was. “I always thought it was because life would be easier on my own. Taking care of my own business, not having to deal with other peoples shit all over my ship. But now, I think it was because I was afraid to lose people I cared about. And now that I've experienced all the thing you do in friendship, I still wouldn't give up the memories we had together to trade away the pain.” I grinned to myself, probably the first time I had in weeks, and gave Rocket a small comforting pat on the back. And surprisingly enough he didn't cringe or turn away. Before the moment was over Steve came back into the room to grab something he had forgotten.

“(y/n), Rocket? Do you guys want anything to eat? Rhodey is making some sandwiches, and I could bring you guys something?”

“I’m fine Steve.”

“Are you sure?”

“I'm absolutely positively fucking sure.” Steve sighed as he turned his back and walked back out the door. Rocket looked at me with a look of questioning on his face.

“A few years ago, our governments were trying to sign an accord that our group only be called in when needed. Steve hated the idea but Tony and I saw that if we signed, we could get the laws writing to change, and in true times of peril, such as when Thanos sent a spaceship down here, we would intervene without orders. The group was divided for a long time, and it felt like I lost part of my family ever since that day. I betrayed Tony at one point, and it almost tore us apart. Life for me that year wasn't easy.”

“So you hate Steve?”

“I just wonder if all of this could have been avoided if we were all still on one team. If Steve could have just signed, maybe things wouldn't be the way they are.” Rocket nodded in agreement before turning his view back to the transmitter, and me the same.

Another hour had passed in silence. I got up from the chair and did some stretching as my limbs were becoming sore from sitting all day. One thing I always bugged Tony about was that he had all this money yet couldn't afford to find stylish yet comfortable seating. He’d always have some excellent one-liner ready to go in response. As I bent to the floor, I saw a red flash between my legs. I shot up as Rocket scrambled out of his seat and onto the table with the transmitter.

“Rocket did it just flash? You saw that right?”

“Yeah, I did.” We both looked at each other and back to the machine. Once again a bright red flash lit up the room. I fumbled for my phone in my back-pocket before dialing Bruces number.

“Bruce, the transmitter it keeps flashing red what does that mean?”

“Stay there and don't touch anything!” Bruce told me sternly before hanging up the phone. Within thirty seconds Bruce came running into the lab to where Rocket and I were. Bruce lightly moved me to the side while he fumbled with some switches. I quickly texted Rhodey, Thor, Nat and Steve to get in here ASAP. I put my phone back in the pocket and waited for Bruce to get the transmitter in, and after turning one last dial, we heard a voice fill the empty room.

“Is this thing on? Hey miss (y/l/n). If you find this recording, don't feel bad about this. Part of the journey is the end. Being adrift in space with zero promise of rescue is more fun than it sounds. Food and water ran out four days ago. Oxygen will run out tomorrow morning, and that will be it. When I drift off, I will dream about you. It’s always you.” And with that, the message ended. I turned around with tears in my eyes to see everyone else standing in the doorway. Everyone looked just about as heartbroken as I was. But before I could let my legs fall to the ground in agony, an alarm started going off in the tower. We pulled out our phones and saw an alert from FRIDAY with notice of objects overhead off the facility. Nat snapped out of her emotions first and ran towards the nearest door with a tactical belt near hand. Steve and Thor were next. Followed by Bruce, and Rhodey was last to follow. Rocket made his way towards me and patted my leg. Trying to console me just as I had done with him before. In my mind, there was a glimpsing light of hope slowly fading. Tony was the smartest person I had ever met. If he were stuck in space, he’d find a way out. If he could cheat death more than once, he could do it again. I looked down at Rockets before making my way out to grab my gear and to head outside. If any enemy was trying to cross paths with me tonight, they should know things for them will end poorly in the state of fury I'm in.

I joined the others who were gathering off near some of the acreage we had. I looked up as I jogged over to them, and a small, but bright orange dot was trailing overhead.

“What is it?” Nat questioned Bruce as he attempted to point some equipment at it but was getting no reading back on it.

“I have no clue whatever it is, it's not from around here, and we've never had it in our system before.” We waited with as much patience as we could as the ship made its descent into the field in front of us. Rocket made his way forward through the group taking a piece of Bruce's equipment.

“I’ve seen this kind of ship before, definitely from a galaxy much further than here.”  Finally, the ship landed in front of us, slowly settling itself into the ground. The engine turned off causing all lights to go dark. Everyone had hands on weapons ready to go waiting for the doors to open. Finally, a platform slowly began to descend. I took in the spaceship trying to get any readings. I looked through the windows trying to see if I could make out anything. My eyes grazed over one object in particular. It almost seemed like, it couldn't be… Tonys’ helmet.

A figure weakly made its way out onto the platform almost stumbling along. Within a second I knew. I rushed through the others, and past by Steve who was leading the group forward. He grabbed my wrist and tried to hold me back. Having enough pent up anger from the battle at the airport I had no problem punching Steve in the stomach to make my way to the ship. The smell of hot earth filled my lungs as a continued to run to the figure in front of me. I made it halfway up the platform,  before greeting the figure and crashing into an embrace. With all the energy he could muster, Tony wrapped his arms around me. I began to sob uncontrollably as part of the hell I was living just became bearable. Tony ran his fingers through the back of my hair trying to calm me down.

“Thank God you’re alive. It’s okay (y/n), it's okay. I’m here now.” I drew back just a little to take in his face. There were new scars abundant on his face, alongside his tired eyes, and his more prominent check bones from lack of nutrients.

“I thought I lost you forever Tony.”

“You can't get rid of me that easily.” I choked up a laugh through the intermittent sobs. I finally broke the embrace and helped Tony down the rest of the platform. At this point all the others where they're at the bottom to welcome Tony back and help in any way they could. When it finally came to Steve, Tony looked at him sternly before bringing him in for a hug. “I never thought I’d say this capsicle, but I missed you, I still don't forgive you, but I missed you.”

Once all reunited and introduced to Nebula we made our way back inside. I had helped Tony get a shower, and insisted he get some rest, but he told me that he was fine and needed to talk to the others. We all made our way to the living room near the labs for a chat. Tony sat down, wincing a little in pain from the scar that was still trying to heal from his battle against Thanos. I covered Tony with a blanket before giving him some more water as his body needed to readjust to food and liquids. I finally took my spot next to him on the couch, and we all waited a moment before Tony finally spoke.

“Peter and Dr. Strange are gone. Star-lord and the rest of his crew are all gone too.” I brought my head up to look through the window into Bruce's lab, towards Rocket who was back to his position of waiting at the transmitter. I’d have to go tell him after this.

“We tried. We tried so hard, but it wasn't enough. We almost had it but one wrong move and it was all over.” Tony still staring straight at the ground, grabbed for my hand which I took and gave it a squeeze, not dare letting go.

“And now we’re here. With half of the population of the universe decimated, Thanos still on the loose somewhere, and a broken group of Avengers. Who would have thought that one stone so many years ago would lead to this.” I gave Tony's hand another gentle squeeze and scooched closer to him. No one said a thing, absorbing the rest of the information in. Tony took a sip of water before continuing.

“Strange looked at all the outcomes, and he said there was only one in the millions that he saw, where we win, where we come out on top. The bastards gone now, so I don’t know how to do it, but there's a way. And since we couldn't protect the earth this time, you should all be pretty damn sure that we are going to avenge it.”

We all talked for a little bit before deciding it was best for Tony to get some sleep. Everyone slowly exited out while Tony and I sat there. Tony laid down on the couch and placed his head on my lap. We both stared at each other for a while, taking in a sight we both longed for the past few months. I slowly brushed my fingers through his hair. I rarely got to see his hair in a state where it wasn't perfectly blowdried and gelled. We sat like this for about thirty minutes before I gave up on trying to get Tony to fall asleep like this.

“I’m going to go get you some applesauce to eat before you go to bed.”

“I don’t want to go to bed, I just want to look at you some more.”

“Eat the applesauce, and then we can head off to bed together, and you can drift off to sleep to dream about me, while I'm right there next to you.” Tony brought up his hand and brushed my cheek softly, holding it there for a moment while taking in my face one last time before allowing me to get up.

As I made my way back from the kitchen with a bowl of applesauce and a spoon in hand I turned the corner to the door of Bruce's lab, knowing there was something else that needed to be done first. But as I took a step inside, I noticed Nebula and Rocket sitting at the transmitter together. Nebula was talking in hushed tones, but I knew what she was saying. I slowly backed out of the room and made my way back to Tony who was now sitting up, with the blanket on top of his head, but his face still showing. I placed the bowl and spoon in his hand and waited patiently for him to finish. Once done I sat the bowl on the table knowing I could take care of it in the morning, although Tony in the good old days used to have a fit anytime I left dirty dishes out overnight.

Once in our room, I grabbed Tony some pajamas and let him change while I washed my face and brushed my teeth. Once done I exited the bathroom and saw Tony in bed, his eyes following every move I made. I changed into some more comfortable clothes and climbed into bed with him. I sat my head down on my pillow and turned so my face was turned to his. I studied his brown eyes, taking in the moment that I had so longed for 72 days ago.

“I love you (y/n) (y/l/n). I don't think I’ll let a day go by where you don't hear those words.”

“I love you too Tony Stark. Get some rest, I’ll be right here. Always.”

I changed into some workout clothes and grabbed my gym shoes before making my way towards the gym. As I approached the door, I was shocked to see that the lights were on. That could only mean that someone was in there because Tony was very strict about having the tower light on sensors to reduce the waste of electricity.

I carefully took a peek through the door and saw Tony going hard at the punching bag. I couldn't help but snicker to myself as I watched him. He was no Steve or Bucky, but he could definitely throw a punch.

Not sure if he could hear me or not I backed up all the way back to the elevator. I pressed open the door to make sure that the elevator rang and continued down the hall, dragging my feet a little so they would make more noise.  This time when I opened the door to the gym I made sure to make a big show out of it, drawing Tony's attention away from the punching bag and onto me. Tony was quick to stop and reached down for his towel and water. I sat down my shoes and slipped them on, not bothering to untie them. I smirked as I made my way over to Tony who was picking up the rest of his things.

“Please don’t stop on my account Tony, I don't want to ruin your work out.” Tony chuckled after he took a large sip from his water bottle.

“No, bother at all. Just needed to get some stress out before going to bed.” I could tell from the look in his eyes that he was lying. Because I had the same longing for sleep that he had. Tony had always struggled with sleeping. Before the Avengers it was because his mind just never turned off. But now it was a mix of a never calm mind, along with the trauma he had gone through in the past ten years, he was bound for even more sleepless nights.

Tony continued to walk past me, but I was quick to grab his wrist. I knew he wasn't going to go to bed anytime soon, and I didn't want him to be alone. Not when I could relate to what he was going through.

“You know. As much fun as punching a bag of sand is for an hour, I could really use a sparring partner in the ring. But you're probably not up to it seeing as how old you are.” I knew that I had a pretty big chance of getting him to stay with my simple offer of sparing. But with the touch of flirtatious teasing, I knew I had him.

“You know (y/n), I was thinking of taking it easy on you, but with the extra comment regarding my age, I figure I’ll show you a thing or two.” I let go of Tony's wrist and turned on my heels over to the ring. I dug out Tony's boxing gloves and tossed them over to him before looking for my own. Once situated I grabbed my protective headgear and stepped into the ring. When I turned around, I was a little annoyed to see that Tony hadn't put on his headgear, and per usual I was going to have to lecture him until one of us gave in.

“Tony I am not going to box with you unless you put your head gear on.”

“It’s a free country if I choose not to wear it, it's my choice.”

“Fine if you are going to be that way.” I removed my headgear and tossed it outside of the ring. Tony took a step forward, a tad irritated that I had removed my own safety gear.

“Hey, just because I don't want to wear my stuff doesn't mean you shouldn't go put that back on.” Feeling a little more daring I took a step forward, knowing I could take down Tony in an instant if I wanted or needed to.

“I only play fair Tony. So if you don't wear your headgear, I won't wear mine.” Tony rolled his eyes at me. I could tell by the small twitch of his mouth that his mind was concocting a plan, but for him, it was a little too late. I took one step closer, leaving only inches away from our bodies. I could tell Tony was becoming a bit flustered as he continued to work on his plan. But within one solid swoop I knocked out one of his legs, and within seconds I had Tony on his stomach, and I was on his back straddling his wait. I lightly pressed my elbow into his upper back as I leaned into his ear.

“See Tony if you would have listened then you wouldn't be in this mess. Instead you could be on your feet, and still, be getting your ass kicked.” I laughed as I released my elbow from his back and leaned up a bit. Tony muffled something into the gym floor, but I could hardly make out what he was saying.

Within another swift motion, I was able to flip Tony onto his back, so we were now face to face.

“You were saying?”

“I was saying I don't appreciate having my face smushed into the dirty gym floor.”

“Well good thing I turned you over then.” Tony attempted to blow the hair out of his eyes, but it continued to block his vision. I took my free hand and pushed it aside, leaving his eyes clear from any obstruction.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.” I stared down at Tony giving him a smirk, and he grinned as I continued to sit on top of him.

“(y/n), can I tell you a secret?”

“I mean only if you really want to.”

“Oh I do, but you have to come closer.” I knew it was some sort of trap. Tony had now had enough time to plot this through. But I was always curious by nature and wanted to see what his genius plan entailed. So I leaned in closer. Before I could turn my ear to his mouth, Tony leaned up and pressed his lips deep into mine. It was a simple kiss by nature, but the heat I felt was almost overwhelming. I could feel the buzz from the emotions running high in my body. First, it started in my head and slowly worked its way down my body before settling back down in my core. I didn't know how long our lips were pressed together, but once Tony withdrew, I could feel my lips part for a small gasp of air.

“Well, I was not expecting that.”

“Didn’t think you were.” I let up on Tony arms allowing him to sit up, with myself still on his lap. Our foreheads now barely touching, I could feel his warm breath glide across my face. Tony brought his hand up to carefully place some of my fallen hair behind my ears, before gently taking his finger under my chin, and bringing my gaze upward. “Do you mind if we try that again?” And without hesitation, I carefully brought my lips back together with Tonys. I pressed in a little deeper, before parting ways once again, leaving Tony wanting a little more, but I didn’t plan on anything else to happen before more groundwork could be set. I slid to the side next to Tony and started discussing what the future had in store. After what seemed like hours Tony and I had lost track of time, and for the first time in a very long time, we fell asleep together on the boxing ring floor and got in a good nights sleep.

When morning came, Steve was the first one to head into the gym, as he just strangely loved those morning workouts. But something he was not expecting was to see Tony and I lying on the dirty gym floor, but he was relieved to see us together. Tony had been bouncing the idea of getting together with me for a while with Steve. Steve knew it was one of the many things that were keeping Tony up at night. And to finally have closure on something, had obviously helped in some way. So Steve carefully backed up out of the gym turned out the light and closed the door behind him.

“Hey, Friday?”

“Yes, Captain Rogers?”

The less I gravitated away from my once normal life, the more I needed something to give me an escape. Something that could take me away from the loud moments of reality, which could often be too overwhelming, and bring me to a world, where the path was clearly written out, and nothing in my power would alter the road ahead.

But as much as I loved books, there was someone else in the tower who had the utmost respect and adoration for the stories that laid within his bookshelves. Loki was an advent reader, and almost always was caught with a book in hand, no matter where the location. At first, I thought it odd, but the more I came to find the love of books, the more I realized why Loki was so drawn to them, especially after the life he had lived.

Loki and I became good friends after a while. We quite enjoyed each others company in which we could discuss literature and authors. I was even lucky enough for him to show me some of the writers from across the nine realms, and even a few pieces from light years away.

It was a cold day in New York but it being February that was no surprise. The cold would linger for a few more weeks until spring would appear, but until then I would embrace the cold with open arms seeing as I had no one to warm me with the offer of their coat or someone to lean in close to share their warmth. Everyone in the tower seemed to have someone there romantically. Tony had Pepper, Natasha and Bruce, Clint had Laura, heck Peter was even seeing some girl from school. But there was one person I could count on for this Valentine's day to be just about as lonely as me, and that was Loki.

Now I had nothing against Valentine's day, in fact, I took pleasure in the idea that somehow one day could influence so much emotion. Although I didn't like the fact that some people put all their effort into one day, instead of the whole year. But this Valentine's day I was going to make it enjoyable, and my grand plan involved making someone else's day too.

“Loki?” I entered the library with the fullest of confidence that Loki would be perched somewhere with another new novel in hand. Hopefully, the one I had recommended to him, although I was. A bit nervous that he was going to tear it apart, like so many of my other favorite books that I had recommended to him.

“Over here.” His monotoned voice always carried well within the library. With a few swift turns, I found Loki sat in front of one of the windows, with his feet perched up on the ledge. I sat down and grabbed the book out of his hands, careful to mark the page with his bookmark before closing it shut. Loki brought down his feet as he knew I was about to chew his ear off about something, and his relaxed state was to soon be no more.

“I have an extraordinary surprise for you, and it involves our love for a certain common interest of ours.”

“Oh? And what would that be?” I stood up from my seat and motioned for Loki to do the same. Slowly Loki stood from his chair, giving himself a moment to stretch out, before following me through the rows of books.

“Well if you don't know by now I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”

“Seems only fair. But may I ask of what is the occasion of this surprise.” I smiled at him as I stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the main lobby. I could tell by the confused look on Lokis face, that for once he had no idea of the future events to happen ahead. Which was something I thoroughly enjoyed.

“I’ve never been below the tenth floor before. Why are we heading to the lobby?”

“Now what's the fun in a surprise if I tell you?” The doors smoothly opened and in the lobby stood Tony and Steve, anxious to get on with the day so they could get ready for the dates that they had planned for the evening. I took a look back at Loki who was still more confused than ever, but he still followed me forward closer to the pair.

“Alright reindeer games, I will say this once, and only once because I am kind of in a hurry here, I can't be late for a date with Pepper again. We are giving you the special one time opportunity to go with (y/n) out into the city. But understand there are many rules and many more consequences if you break these rules.” Steve took a step forward and reached for Lokis hand. He drew back Lokis sleeve and put on a tracking bracelet, making sure to fastly secure it into place before taking a step back.

“I’ve just put a tracking device on you, so don’t think about getting any ideas. (y/n) has found to do this wildly nice thing out of the kindness of her own heart, so understand that if you betray her trust, you are going to be sorry that you ever arrived on this planet. (y/n) Is your chaperone for this evening so what she says goes. With the push of a button, we all get a call that will include us with your location so you won't get far. Also Tony has programmed this tracker that if it goes a certain distance away from (y/n), it will set off an alarm, and again we all get calls giving us your location.”

“So, you know the rules, now do your best to not disrupt Miss Potts, and I’s evening. Because not only will you disrupt our night, but everyone else's too.” Tony picked up our coats and was quick to hand them to us and send us off through the door. Tony had a reputation for being late on dates, and since he was late last Valentines day, it seemed like he was going to do everything in his power to be on time this year.

Loki followed me to the town car where our shield agent slash chauffeur was waiting. I waved my hand to get Loki to get in first, and I soon followed. For once it hadn't taken much convincing to make this trip happen. Of course I was nervous that Loki was going to try something as he always did, but this excursion was really going to be a treat that would hopefully occupy Lokis thoughts long enough, to not give him any ideas about escaping out into the city, and by reaction causing the others to have to leave their dates.

I could tell by the curiosity in Lokis eye that he had no clue about where he was going. He had only seen NYC once before, and those were under very different circumstances. Now with nothing but a gorgeous blush pink sunset, and couples flocking the streets, I could tell Loki was finding some enjoyment in the city he once tried to destroy.

Finally, when we arrived at the front of the building, I could feel my heart begin to race. Although Loki and I were just friends, I couldn't be more excited to give him this gift for Valentine's day.

“Loki I would like to welcome you to the main branch of the New York Public Library.” I was fast to grab Lokis wrist, and we exited the car together. Although I wouldn't call it a smile, I swore I could see Lokis lips curl just a tad, not wanting to give away the excitement he honestly felt.

“I have read and heard about this library, but I didn't think that today I would have the pleasure of getting to see it, especially with you.”

“Well I figure it was the one place that you were bound to love in this city, I mean come on its a beautiful place filled with beautiful books.” We continued up the stairs to the library entrance where our tour guide was waiting to greet us. It had taken Tony some extra work to vet a tour guide that would be appropriate for touring an alien who tried to demolish the city only so many years ago, but once Tony contacted them, they didn't mind at all, of course seeing that there were a few security details not far behind. We of course agreed and had gotten a shield agent stationed at every point of the tour, leaving myself and the tour guide a little less to worry about.

After the quick greeting, the guide showed us around the public areas of the library giving us all the historical information about the building, and a few pieces about the books that it held. Of course, what I knew I was looking most forward to was the restricted areas. I had always wanted to go into them but never had the opportunity to find the time or the people to convince. But of course, with one call from Tony Stark, dreams could turn into reality with the snap of a finger.

As we continued into the restricted area, I watched Lokis eyes grow as we passed through all the books. As much as he loved to brag about his personal collection that rested back in his room on Asgard, he would have to admit that the number of books that we had passed, had far exceed his collection. After all, some of the books we were now seeing were the only copies of some transcripts and novels, per the writer's wishes. We each had the opportunity to take a look at some of the exclusive material, and although we didn't have long to read. Every paragraph that flowed through my mind left me with more love for words and the art it could transform into.

As we got to the end of the tour, we were allowed access to one of the smaller sections of the library, that was closed for the night to the general public, except for us. Loki and I split off as we wandered the shelves looking for something to peruse during our last hour at the library. I chose some Hemingway because I was always a sucker for him. I slumped down in one of the seats, and before I opened my book, I took careful note to Loki as he carefully brushed his fingers against the books before stopping at a Jane Austin novel. I was quite surprised as he often told me that she was far too overrated and that her work was merely nothing more than child's play. But as he slowly brought back Pride and Prejudice from the shelf, I was quick to turn open my book, not wanting Loki to become annoyed and put the book back.

Loki meandered for a bit more before taking a seat next to me and opening his book. We probably stayed silent for a good thirty minutes before I partially closed my book and turned my body towards him.

“So how are you enjoying the book so far.” Without looking up, Loki mumbled out a response,

“It’s better then I thought it would be I must say.” I smirked to myself as I reopened my book.

When the time finally came, I walked back to where I had found my Hemingway, and carefully slipped it back into its home. When I walked back over to where Loki was, I saw him quickly finish the chapter before he too returned the book back to its original spot.

“Ready to head back to the tower?”

“Never.” Loki scoffed to himself as he looked at his feet. I knew this had to be hard. I had just given him a taste of freedom, but now he was stuck going back to the tower. Although it had a lot to offer, it couldn't beat the streets of New York. And the only other taste of freedom would be on our next scheduled trip to the upstate compound in late June.

“It took a little bit of work, but I’m sure we could come here again sometime.” Lokis head lifted suddenly, a smile peeking across his face.

“I know I’m the god of tricks, but if you are deceiving me, I won't be happy.”

“I promise you I would never use books to tease you.” Loki took a step forward closing the gap in between us. Before I could take another breath, Loki swooped into pressing his lips deeply into mine. He brought his hand up to hold the back of my neck in place. When he finally let up, I took a second to catch my breath.

“Wow.”

“I’m good for more than just reading and talking you know (y/n)?”

“I just gathered that.” I said, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks. Loki grabbed my hand and held it gently to his chest.

“I actually had done a little research about this day before you asked me to come here. I appreciate you taking the time to show me this place. And for getting me out of the tower for the first time. In appreciation for the trip and to showing me such kindness, I say this in the utmost gratitude, and I will deny this if you tell anyone I said this but, (y/n) (y/l/n), will you be my valentine?” I giggled lightly under my breath. Things had taken a pleasant unexpected turn today. I looked up at Loki and smiled, before placing a kiss on his lips, barely touching just to tease him a bit, before drawing back.

I honestly did not want to be on this mission but everyone else was out on other business, so it had to be me. Nat seeing the open seat next to me, walked over and claimed the spot.

"You're a terrible liar you know."

"It's not my strong suit, but that's not necessarily a bad thing."

"Eh when you are undercover-"

"Need I remind you of Botaga? I walked circles around our fake persona." Nat scoffed at me before taking out her com system from her bag.

"We are two minutes till drop. You sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"I'm sure." Nat nodded not wanting to prod too much into my personal life. I stood up to get my pack ready. I hated jumping out of the jet, but it was the best way to go undetected sometimes. Steve helped me get my specially designed Stark parachute on before it was time to jump.

Within a matter of minutes, we were all on the ground ready to infiltrate the facility. It was an old abandoned car factory, and I was almost certain besides the enemies it was probably filled with ghosts. I knew for a fact it had a personal ghost in there for me.

I sighed as I waited behind our lines, as Steve, Sam, and Bucky infiltrated the facility. Nat, Clint and I waited for the signal.

When we entered the others were waiting patiently for us. It looked like they hadn't encountered too many people. Most of the guards were probably watching over the hostages.

We continued carefully through the halls of the building. There was no sign of them on the manufacturing floor, but Sam's heat signatures were reading of people on the management floors. Instead of dividing up we decided to stick together. I honestly would have preferred splitting up.

When we finally reached the tenth floor, we saw a door being guarded by two uniformed men. We waited until Steve motioned for us to continue. Nat and I ran up ahead quickly taking out the guards as silently as possible. We laid them on the floor as the others joined us.

Steve walked up with his gun drawn in one hand and his shield in the other. In one swift movement he was able to kick down the door allowing us access.

Little did we know we were very much outnumbered. There were about fifteen guards and seven hostages. I scanned each and locked eyes with one.

"Ahh, the Avengers. We knew it was only a matter of time before you came. In fact, we were rather hoping you'd show." At this point, a man dressed in all black emerged from the shadows. I rolled my eyes as I watched him take his place up front.

"Give us the hostages and no one gets hurt." Steve stood his ground, gun still out and ready. The man chuckled as he walked to one of the hostages.

"And give up our leverage? It's not every day you have the boyfriend of (y/n) (l/n). To give up this sort of leverage would be foolish. So let me ask you, captain. What are you all willing to give to save the love of your fellow teammate." All eyes were now on me. Steve and Bucky gave me a concerning glance before turning their attention back to the armed men. I felt as Nat attempted to take a step closer to me to try and comfort me, but man was I distracted.

Now I know its inappropriate and entirely unprofessional for me to laugh in a situation like this. But come on. Everyone was a little taken aback by the chuckles coming out of me, especially man in black over there.

"I'm sorry, I really am I just." I leaned my head back to catch the tears trying to escape my eyes. "You guys really need to check your sources and time stamps." I watched as the man looked at the hostage and then back to me.

"You laugh when your lovers' life is on the line?" The man yanked a gun from one of the guards before cocking it on the hostages head. No regaining my cool I sat my hand lightly on top of my gun holster.

"Ex-lover. Patrick and I broke up about a year ago." The man looked at me with shock and a bit of anger. His sources had failed him, and there was no way he wasn't a bit embarrassed by the situation.

"No matter. You're a person. You still care for his life do you not?" His voice was shaky, but his hands were very still, continuing to hold the gun up to Patrick's head.

"After the months of verbal abuse, and the fact that he couldn't handle who I was, I probably couldn't care less what you do to him." In a flash, I gave out the signal to the others before drawing my gun and putting a bullet in the enemies head. The others were fast to react, and within seconds the guards were either hurt or dead on the floor. I sighed as I put the gun back in its holster as I walked over to the hostages.

"But that still doesn't mean I don't have to save his pathetic ass." I looked down at Patrick as he gave me a look of relief. I extended out my hand for him to take. As I pulled him up to hight, I watched as he his cheeks turned red.

"Thank you (y/n). I guess I owe you my life." Patrick ran his hand through his hair in a nervously.

"Want to know how you can repay me?" I took a step forward causing him to clumsily fall back a step. He stopped for a moment before nodding at me.

"Stay out of my life and try not to get fucking kidnapped again. I like the whole not seeing your thing, and you make it hard to not see you when I have to come to save you from crazy psychopaths." I gave one last smile before turning on my heels and making my way towards the exit. After doing one last look around. We all filed out of the building and made our ways back to the vehicles. We loaded up the hostages on a different quinjet, as the team loaded back onto ours.

Once in the air, I got up from my seat to grab water from the fridge. Sam and Steve were leaning against the ship and were quick to move out of my way. I sighed as I unscrewed the top and looked to them.

"You know you don't have to look at me like that. Patrick and I were a thing a while ago, and I never ever let work and that life intertwine. I'm fine, I'm good, I don't want any pity." Sam and Steve looked at each other before turning to me.

"Actually we were just talking about how bad-ass you were back there and how we'd never want to be your ex." Sam explained with a grin on his face.

I chuckled a little as I took another sip from my water. "Treat me nicely, and you won't end up like Patrick back there. Kidnapped and peeing his pants." Both Sam and Steve laughed at my comment as I made my way back to my spot by Nat and Clint. Clint was talking on his phone with his wife, while Nat was writing some stuff down on the mission report. I leaned over to see some of the details she had written.

"(y/n) performed with excellent care through personal challenges of seeing a pig that she once used to know." I recited, holding back the laughter in my chest. I jokingly bumped Nat in the shoulder as I took out my phone.

"You know missions these days are just disappointing. They just don't make villains like they used too." Nat rolled her eyes as she continued to write.

"You better watch it, you’re asking for something worse to happen."

I pressed the call button and held the phone up to my ear. I listened to the phone ring.

"Damnit Jess pick up. The one time you're probably not drinking." I continued walking as I waited for her to pick up. On the last ring, I finally heard a noise in the background.

"Hello?" Her voice was a tad groggy, and music played faintly in the background.

"Jess it's (y/n). Are you at the bar right now?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I'm heading over." I hung up the phone as I hailed a taxi. Lukes bar was a little far for me to walk. Not to mention I wanted to get to drinking as fast as possible.

When I arrived, I was met with the smell of beer and cigarettes. I scanned the bar and saw Jessica sitting at the tabletop, talking to Luke. As I walked over, I shed off my coat and put my phone in my purse. I slumped down next to Jess interrupting hers and Lukes conversation.

"Well, you look like shit." Jess looked me over before turning back to her drink and Luke. Luke gave me a sad smile before handing me my usual drink.

"Rough night?" I scoffed at the comment as opened my mouth and let the drink flow down. A small burn tickled my throat as I sat the empty cup down.

"No limits tonight Luke. I don't plan to go back to avenging anytime soon." Luke nodded as he filled up my drink once more. This time I took a sip from the glass, attempting to pace myself. Jess spun around on her stool with her drink in hand, smirking at me.

"You're not one to drink away your problems (y/n)."

"You're not one to care."

"Never said I did." I rolled my eyes as I kept my gaze forward. I could feel my phone buzz in my purse. But I wasn't answering the call. I wasn't going to answer any calls tonight.

I watched the people come and go, some couples, some friends some alone. Jess taking little interest in me, was again conversing with Luke but she was growing tired of my continually buzzing phone.

"You know it sounds like you should pick up your phone. Or maybe just turn it off." I finished off my fourth glass before reaching down into my purse. 4 missed calls from Clint, six from Nat, nine from Tony, 11 from Steve, 20 from Bucky.

I could feel the small urge to respond. To tell them I was fine and not to worry. But I wasn't okay. I held down the power button to turn off my phone before sticking it back in my purse where it would stay the rest of the night.

Now with a bit of growing interest, Jessica turned from Luke to me.

"Look (y/n) I know you pretty well and to be ignoring calls from people especially your boyfriend, means something has to be going down."

"Keep to yourself, Jones."

"I'm not one to really take orders. Not my style."

"I'm aware." I motioned for Luke to fill up my glass. He hesitantly poured the liquor into my cup. I sighed as I swirled the drink around before taking a sip. I let go of my cup and turned myself to face Jessica.

"Today I lost my tenth person. In a row. I don't even know how that's fucking possible, but you know it happened to me so it must be possible." I looked around the room observing the crowds. Watching them drink happily. "I keep thinking over each of their deaths. Thinking of what I could have done differently to save them. And each time there's always a different scenario that would have played out better than my shit ideas. So now all I want to do is get drunk. I want to feel like crap because I don't deserve to feel good right now." I clenched my hands in anger as every word left my mouth. I didn't look Jessica or Luke in the eyes. I hated complaining about life, but sometimes I had to let it out. And maybe just maybe they could possibly relate to how I'm feeling right now and not judge me.

After the sixth drink, I lost count. After the sixth drink, I was gone. I couldn't quite remember what happened, but I finally zoned back into me puking in a toilet with someone holding my hair back. I was sobbing, and my throat was dry.

"Jess I want to go home." I managed to cough up the words before I vomited once again into the toilet. I felt a hand rub against my back before it pulled back to give me a glass of water. As I reached out, in the corner of my eye, I noticed a metal hand retract back out of my sight. I carefully turned my head and was greeted with a view of Bucky.

"Hey, doll. I'll get you home. Just as soon as you think you're good to go. Don't need you getting sick in Tony's car." I nodded, quickly turning my head back to the toilet preparing for another round of vomiting.

I don't know how long Bucky and I were in the restroom, but I remembered the calm feeling that washed over me when my stomach had settled.

I stood up slowly, feeling much soberer then I did a few hours ago.

"You ready to go (y/n)?" I shook my head yes, as Bucky carefully placed an arm under mine to guide me. We walked out into the bar and the only people left were Jessica and Luke.

"Ahh, I see someones finally done with the women's room." I flipped off Jessica as she laughed at my state. She walked over and handed me my jacket and purse. "Next time (y/n) leave the drinking to me, it doesn't really suit you."

"And let you have all the fun? Nah." Bucky helped me put on my coat and took my purse, just to make sure it got back to the tower. Jessica smiled one last time at me before turning to Bucky.

"Thanks for picking her up. I don't minder her when she's a little drunk, but puking (y/n) is not really my thing." Bucky laughed as he held me close to him, making sure I didn't fall in my clumsy state.

"I appreciate you calling me and telling me where she was. We were all worried about her. I don't know if she told you what happened-"

"She did."

"Then you would know why I would be concerned."

"I get it. You're a good boyfriend for worrying. She's lucky." I smiled as I looked up at Bucky.

"I really am." I continued to stare for just a moment longer before taking a step forward. "Alright Barnes time to get me home, I'm sure I'll be getting a talking to. Bye Jess, I'll plan on seeing you soon." Jess waved goodbye before turning on her heels to head back towards the Luke.

When Bucky and I stepped outside, the cold didn't faze me. A wind picked up my hair and lightly blew on my face. I took a deep breath as Bucky guided me to a car with the headlights on. Slowly but surely we got in the car and began our journey back but not before Happy could remind me not to puke in the car. Otherwise, he and I would both never hear the end of it. It took about two minutes into the car ride before Bucky finally spoke up.

"You know I was really worried about you right?" I sighed as I leaned my head back into the headrest.

"I know. Fifty missed calls was probably a sign that I should have at least texted one of you back."

"Hmm probably." I shifted myself closer to Buck. I leaned into his side as he wrapped an arm around me. "With what happened we were worried (y/n). We didn't know what was going through your head."

"Well, I can tell you it involved a lot of alcohol."

"This isn't funny anymore (y/n)."

"I didn't say it was Bucky. I wanted to drink. I wanted to feel something other then what I was feeling then. What I'm starting to feel again now."

"None of these were your fault (y/n)." I sat up and turned to face Bucky.

"Then why does it feel like it. Why do I feel like I could have and should have done more?" I could feel my voice began to break, and the tears were starting to come back. "I could have saved them. All ten of them. I could have done so much more." At this point, the tears were freely flowing down my cheeks. Hating to see me cry Bucky was quick to wrap both arms around me, holding me tight.

"No (y/n) no. You did everything you were taught and told to do. We can't save everyone, but we try. You have saved so many lives. I know its easy to focus on the ones you have lost, but you have to stay positive. Think about all the people that wouldn't be here if not for you." I could feel the tears slow down and my shallow breaths return back to normal. "You are a hero (y/n). We win some we lose some. But the most important thing is that we try. We try and save everyone, you especially." As we parked, Happy was quick to get out of the car to give Bucky and I a moment.

"I'm sorry I ran off. I'm sorry I proceeded to get drunk and then you had to come to hold my hair."

"Only for you doll." Bucky kissed the top of my head before opening the door. He was quick to scoop me up and carry me to the elevator. "We'll stop at the kitchen to get you some water and then we'll get you to bed." I nodded before resting my head into Bucky’s chest.

The elevator doors slid open, and Bucky continued past the kitchen to sit me down on a couch in the common room. Little did I know everyone else would be there eagerly waiting for my arrival.

Everyone stared at me as Bucky sat me down. Before anyone could open their mouths, Bucky intervened.

"She's fine, she's okay. What's important is she made it back here safe." Everyone nodded in agreeance as I laid myself out across the couch.

Bucky was quick to return back from the kitchen. He kneeled down and gave me a kiss on the cheek before handing me my water. I took the glass carefully and drank it slowly until it was gone. We all sat in silence before Bucky helped me up off the couch.

"Alright let's get you to bed. Say goodnight (y/n). You'll see everyone at the meeting tomorrow whenever you wake up."

"Uhm, do we have to have a meeting?"

"Of course we do!" Everyone shouted back to me in unison. I sighed while I followed Bucky back to the elevator.

“I fucking hate him!” I quickly ran off the quinjet into the field that we emergency landed into. Before I knew what was happening, I began puking into a bush. Steve was quick to follow suit and was by my side in no time.

“Hate is a strong word to use.” Steve patted my back as I continued to heave. In between heavy breaths, I managed to spit out.

“It’s also the right word to use.” I sat down in the dirt field and looked back over to the quinjet. Tony and Thor were leaning against the door watching us, and just past him sat Loki. The idiot wanna be God. As we made eye contact, a smirk grew over his face. I made the mistake of rushing to stand up, which just led to another sick spell. "I'm gonna kill him Steve, this time I really am." Steve couldn't help but laugh at my empty threat. Yes, I am a trained agent, but when it comes down to it, I wouldn't harm a fly.

"Thor already said that he's planning consequences for when we get back."

"I think he deserves to take one of those pills he slipped me. See how it feels." As a wave of exhaustion came over, I lay my head in the dirt and stared up at the cloudless sky.

"Hey (y/n) let's not lie down in the dirty field. I don't want this uniform to get all stained too." I sat up and looked at Tony before flipping him off.

Once I felt fine again, Steve helped me back into the quinjet. Instead of sitting back by Loki, I took a seat up front with Tony. "Understand if you need to puke again you need to go back there and do it." I rolled my eyes as a placed my feet up on the dash, which Tony was quick to scold me for.

The rest of the flight was silents, most everyone fell asleep minus Tony and I. I looked back and saw the sleeping heroes and one sleeping villain. I watched as Loki slowly breathed in and out, in peace in his sleep. I was conducting my plan when Tony interrupted my thoughts. I turned back to face Tony who was now smirking.

"What's wrong with your face."

"Oh, nothing."

"You're not one to hold back what you're thinking Stark go ahead." Tony punched some stuff into the navigation system before turning his chair to face mine.

"You know he's in love with you right?"

"Of course! Every guy that's ever showed affection to me has slipped me a puking pill to show how much they care."

"I mean I don't agree with Loki's actions and what he does, but I have a pretty good signal on flirting, and although as terrible as it may be, I think he's trying to flirt with you." I looked back over my shoulder to make sure they were still sleeping.

"I hate to break it to you Tony, but I think you are wrong."

"I bet before we get back I can get you better evidence."

"Okay deal. I'd like to mention you have twenty minutes."

"I only need five." Tony quickly turned away from me and activated the speakers. Before you could figure out what was going on ACDC was blasting loudly in the ship, jolting everyone awake. You couldn't help but snicker as you watched the looks of panic turn to annoyance. Tony laughed along with me before leaning towards me and whispering into my ear,

"If at any point you get uncomfortable just say so." I felt my eyebrows raise in question, but I agreed to go along with the plan.

I was taken aback when Tony placed his hand on my knee and gave it a small squeeze before resting it there. Instantly I knew his plan. Jealousy. It was always a sensitive point for Loki, and surely if he had any feeling for me, this would get him riled up. I began to play along placing my hand over Tonys. I turned to him and gave him a wink before looking over my shoulder.

"Hey Thor, could you bring me my water bottle?" Thor nodded and began to search for the water, giving me enough time to observe Loki. His brows were furrowed, and his arms were crossed. So far it seemed like Tony's plan was working.

"Here let me." Tony got up from his spot and went to grab my water bottle from Thor. He made his way back and handed me the bottle before placing a gentle kiss on my cheek causing me to blush. As Tony replaced his hand on my leg, I could feel my phone begin to buzz. I took it out of my pocket and saw unread messages from Steve. I looked back over to him, and the look of confusion on his face was priceless. I laughed as I unlocked my phone and read the messages.

'Umm I'm not judging here but how long have you and Tony been a thing?'

'Not that I am not happy or anything, just surprised...'

I quickly typed out our plan, and I watched as Steves face settled.

'Can I get in on this?' I looked back and nodded at Steve. He was quick to make his way up to him and smiled.

"So how was your guises date on Friday?" I grabbed Tony's hand and held it.

"It was amazing Tony went all out I just couldn't believe how much he spoiled me." Tony smiled and looked at me and then to Steve.

"Anything for my girl. We just have so much in common, and it just feels right." At this point we heard Loki laugh, causing our attention to turn towards him

"Oh please, Stark. You both have as much in common as water does to fire." Still playing along Tony stood up from his spot dropping your hand.

"Oh and like you would know anything about what (y/n) and I would have in common?"

"I know that she and I have more in common then you will ever have." Tony took a few steps closer to Loki, now drawing a little concern to my attention. I stood up following Steve over to them. Yeah, I knew Tony was playing along, but Loki didn't, and he could cause some severe damage if he went after Tony.

"You know nothing about her Loki. You don't even care for her like I do." Loki now furious stood from his spot and grabbed Tony's shirt collar causing all of you to jump forward.

"I care for her beyond amount conveyable Stark. You have a crush compared to the feelings I have." Now getting the information you all wanted, Tony began to laugh, probably not the best idea with the situation he was in.

"Oh man. You really have it for her, don't you? Man, that took like what ten minutes?" Now in mass amounts of confusion, Loki dropped Tony allowing him to walk over to me.

"See, I'm better than you think sweetheart." I made my way past Steve now needing to confront Loki about well everything.

"If you had these feelings for me why didn't you say something? or is slipping puking pills in someones drink, a thing you to do to pronounce your love for someone in Asgard?" Loki now a little embarrassed and still coming down from his anger, sat back down in his seat. Thor and Steve walked away to give us some privacy.

"You are truly the only person I have ever had feelings for (y/n). I just... I didn't know what to do or how to act, so I did what I know best, and that was to play the role of the trickster." The quinjet began its descent down and landed. I got up as the door opened and I started to prepare my things. I looked back over to Loki who was staring down at his feet.

"You know Loki, asking a girl out works wonders sometimes. And who knows maybe they will even say yes." Loki looked up at me and smiled. Before exiting, I walked back over to him and leaned down a little.

Peter rolled his eyes as you turned the corner towards your lockers. Much to your dismay, a group of rowdy boys had been stationed right in front of your locker. One, in particular, caught your eye. Emory Deboi. Your now ex-boyfriend seemed to be everywhere you turned. You never felt safe turning a corner and for good reasons.

You had broken up with him on your own terms. Balancing school, a secret life of crime fighting, figuring out your future once you graduate, and the possible talks with the team of having your identity be shown to the world. It was too much, and you knew what you were willing to give up, and what you weren't. Emory was a decent boyfriend, but saving the world and focusing on your own life in your book took priority. So when you dropped the bombshell of taking a break from the relationship, he did not take it well.

As you continued to walk to your locker, Peter gave you a quick look of concern. Luckily your lockers were right next to each other so you wouldn't have to go into this bunch alone.

“It’s fine Peter, I just need to grab my textbook and then we can get out of here.”

“You know it’s not going to be that simple.”

“Yeah, you're probably right, but no time like the present to find out.” You finally made it to the group of boys surrounding your lockers. Peter was able to worm his way through. You, however, had a plethora of eyes on you, but you could feel one burning a hole through your head. You cleared your throat before speaking, knowing now wasn't the time to be timid.



“Hi, yeah I just need to get on through here to get to my locker thanks.” The group slowly parted for you to get through but at the end on the tunnel was a smirking Emory who was leaning right against your locker. You turned to Peter to give him a look of annoyance, but his eyes were dead set on Emory, and you swore you never saw Peter look at someone the way he did with Emory. Once face to face with Emory you couldn't help but smirk.

“Hi, Emory, nice to see you but if you wouldn't mind sliding to the left that would be a big help.” Emory positioned himself over onto the next locker. You began turning your code, and just as you cracked open your locker, Emory was quick to shut it closed. Ignoring it the first two times was all the energy you had the time for, so when he tried once again, you were quick to grab his wrist.

“Emory stop being an ass and go bother someone else. Like maybe a teacher? Lord knows you could get a little more education in this place.” You threw his hand down and once again opened your locker, this time meeting no conflict. You grabbed your textbook out of your locker and not wanting to waste time with putting it in your backpack, you shut your locker, took Peter’s hand, and made your way outside to the car that Happy would be waiting in. Not looking back you could still feel eyes following your every move

“(y/n) I think he’s still following. You want me to do something about it?” Not taking a chance on looking back you took the long way to the front of the school, down one of the halls to test if Emory and his friends were really following.

“Anything Pete?”

“Yeah, they are still following us.” Still walking you turned your head and stuck out your tongue. Being childish wasn't really in your nature, but in the circumstances like this, you didn't mind acting like a kid.

“Hey Emory, if you want a restraining order so badly just ask, instead of being all stalker like.” You felt a light bump on your shoulder, you turned back around to Peter who was giving you a look of don't say that. Peter grabbed your hand and picked up his pace.

As you exited the doors, you both scanned for Happy's car, but it was nowhere to be found. You checked your phone and had a missed message from Tony. Probably wondering why you and Peter were so late to the tower, but before you could open the text, you felt a sudden gush of wind knock your textbook out of your hands and onto the sidewalk. You looked up from your phone, and there was Emory. Before you could react, and punch him right in the eye, Peter put himself in between you and Emory.

“Listen, pal, I know you have some sort of problem with letting go, but understand that (y/n) is done with you. Caput? Leave her alone, and we won't have to take this to anyone else and further all-“ Peter was interrupted before he could finish his last sentence. Emory shoved Peter hard to the side, causing him to stumble. Now just eye to eye with Emory, you almost hoped he would try something else. He knew nothing about your secret abilities, so you'd love for him to take a punch.

“Listen, Parker, this has nothing to do with you so but out. Also, I’m not scared of any teacher or the principle, so you go ahead and tattle.”

“No, but you should be afraid of me.” You turned around, and a smile lit up your face. You turned back around to see a now scared shitless Emory, who looked like he might piss himself at any moment.

“Ah, Mr. Stark what a pleasure to meet you I ah was just-“

“Can it kid. I could see you all the way from my car. Which is worth more than your mommy, daddy, and trust fund combined.” Tony grabbed your textbook off the ground and handed it to you.

“Figured I’d come to pick the two interns up from my meeting with the U.N. Carpooling helps save the environment you know.” You mouthed the thank you to Tony before he motioned for you and Peter to go to the car. As you walked back, you tried to stay within ears reach to hear the last of the lay-down.

“And don’t think I won't have the other Avengers come here and whoop your ass too if you try and bug my interns again. They might only be worth their brains, but they make my life easier and know how I take my coffee. So when you mess with one of them, you mess with me and my easy life. Understand Mr. Deboi?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Yes, sir what?”

“Yes sir, I will leave both (y/n) and Peter alone.”

“Good now that that’s settled, I’ll see you in a few years at my local Mcdonalds. Have a good rest of your day.” You and Peter quickly scrambled into the car, as if you weren't listening to the rest of that conversation. You sat both sat silently with smirks on your faces until Tony got in. You being in the front passenger's side held up your hand to Tony for a high five. Reluctantly he gave you one before pulling out of his parking spot.

“Jeez, Tony I’ve never seen you care so much for Peter and me.”

“You’re just lucky I showed up for pickup, and not Happy.”

"(Y/n) what's wrong?" You had entirely forgotten Steve was on the com with you. Most times you would be a lot more careful with cussing on missions with him, but there was no letting that last one slip.

"Nothing just got taken by surprise. Have you made it to the servers?"

"I'm close, but I'm gonna need some backup." You took a deep breath knowing your job was going to be a lot harder without one arm. You ran through the hallways, your hair hitting your face as it had somehow fallen out of the very secure ponytail you put it in. Finally, you made it to the hallway Steve was trying to get through. You ran towards him and stopped by his side.

"Go. I'll take care of this bunch." You extended your baton out and glared at the group, Steve nodded and ran back to the servers.

"Alright, you have pissed me off today! So I don't apologize for what's coming." You charged towards the group. You slid between one of the man's legs taking your baton you knocked his legs down and in one fellow swoop knocked him out. Being too slow to recover back on your feet, a fist met the side of your face. You groaned as you scrambled to your feet. You could tell by the quick swelling you'd have a nice dark spot on your cheek for a week or two.

With an evil grin, you starred down the last of the remaining men. "So which one of you brave men punched me in the face." Without realizing it, the men stared to the culprit. You darted towards the man and jumped up twisting your legs around his neck, the other men approached to help, but in a swift motion, you had suffocated the man. You jumped down and turned to see a gun pointed at you; you moved out of the way allowing the bullet to hit the mans accomplice.

"I'm done playing games." You didn't typically like using your gun, but when you were as outnumbered as this, with bullets flying towards you, you had enough. You pulled out your gun and aimed the best you could without the support of your left hand. With bullets ringing out Steve came rushing to you.

When he arrived, the seven men were lying on the ground with you standing over them gun still drawn, but hanging at your side.

"We're good (l/n) we can head out." You turned around and drudged yourself back to the quinjet.

Wanting to cool down you decided to pilot back. Steve attempted to make small talk, but you weren't having it. All you wanted to do was get your arm fixed, an ice pack on your face, and a cup of coffee in your body. You hated getting injured. You lived to work and cursed the days when you couldn't. A year ago you had managed to work while you had mono. Once Steve found out you were sick he got pissed and had Bruce lecture you about mono and how your spleen could burst if you weren't careful enough. That month of doing nothing was considered one of the worst months of your life.

You landed the ship on the pad and waited for Steve to exit before you made your way into the compound. You walked down the hallway and started towards the kitchen. But after checking the time, and noting that it was breakfast for most of the Avengers,  you decided to head towards the kitchenette in the conference room, that way no one would notice your state.

As you passed by the dining room to get to the conference room down the hall, you heard Friday come on overhead.

"Sirs, you told me to alert you if (y/n)'s physical state had altered in any way. She has multiple fractures in her left arm, a possible concussion, and a bullet grazes."

You cursed under your breath as you sprinted fast away from the dining room. You could hear people shouting your name as you headed towards the staircase. You ran down to the basement and turned your head to see if anyone had followed you, but just as you turned back around you were face to face with Steve. He gently put out his arm and stopped you from running before picking you up.

"Spangles put me down now!"

"It's for your own good. I'm taking you to the lab so Bruce and Tony can take a look."

"You're being unreasonable!"

"I don't think taking you to get your arm checked out is unreasonable." You finally made it into the sciences bros lab before Steve sat you down on a workshop table. Bruce made his way over with a smirk on his face.

"Looks like we can call off the hunt." You swung your legs back and forth on the table waiting for Bruce to declare you unfit for action once again.

"Look, guys, I am fine, Friday is just exaggerating. Its a few bruises here and there." Unknown to you Tony was standing at your side.  On purpose, he grabbed your broken arm causing you to yell out in pain.

"Son of a bitch Tony you're going to pay for that!" Tony snickered as he sat down your arm.

"Hey, that served you right for lying about my wonderful A.I system."

After some examination, Bruce concluded that he needed to set the bone in your arm before he could go any further in helping. You laughed nervously as you lied down on the table.

"No pain no gain right?" You took deep breaths in and out waiting for Bruce to work on your arm.

"I'm going to give you some stuff for the pain before we start. I know you hate going under, but it might make this more comfortable if I give you a heavy sedative or get one of the on-staff doctors to help put you under-"

"Nope Bruce not going to happen. And you know the deal, go as light on the painkillers as possible."

You extended your unharmed arm out and motioned for someone to take your hand. Steve quickly stepped up and grabbed your hand. After Bruce had given you something for the pain, he stepped up and turned to Tony.

"Tony hold her head down she doesn't want to see this." Tony sighed as he walked up to you.

"Honestly neither do I but I guess I'll take one for the team." Tony gently pushed your head down to the table and held his hands gently against your sides. He gave you a not so reassuring smile before you felt a cold hand on your broken arm. You took a deep breath in and then felt a shock of pain erupt in your arm. You screamed out in pain and gripped tightly down on Steve's hand. Tony quickly let your head up and backed away, not wanting to be in your way. Steve squirmed out of your grip and shook his hand in pain.

Once all was said and done you headed back up to your room with a sling, as Bruce wasn't ready to put on a cast yet. You turned on the tv and began flipping through channels before giving up and settling on the Hallmark Channel.

After about three hours of watching some cliche movie, you heard a  soft knock on your door, being too lazy to get up you called out that it was open. In walked Tony and Bruce with smirks on their faces. Tony was hiding something behind his back, but you couldn't figure out what it would be.

"Look kiddo we know you are as obsessed with work, and you love to do what you do, and we won't be responsible for stopping you, so-" Tony brought out from behind his back, a silver ironman arm. You jumped up in excitement as you rushed to the men. Bruce helped you into the shell, and it fit perfectly.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" You wrapped your arms around both the men and gave them the biggest hug possible. You couldn't see it but through the door stood Bucky and Steve watching your reaction. Steve nudged Bucky who had a sour look on his face.

"Everything okay Buck?"

"The metal arm is my thing."

"It's okay Buck its only for a few weeks."

One thing was for sure though. You had fallen head over heels for the guy, and right now your heart wasn't turning back. But being no expert in love, and having all past relationships fail, you turned to Nat and Wanda for some advice.

"Oh please (y/n), If I were a betting person, I would put down a thousand bucks that Bucky likes you back." Nat gave you a reassuring smile before taking a bite out of her pizza. You snickered to yourself as you fell back on your bed, letting your head hover over the edge upside down.

"As much as I'd like to believe he likes me he flirts with a bunch of other girls Nat. I'm probably just imagining that he likes me"  At this point, Wanda made her way to the foot of your bed and sat down on the floor.

"Feelings are feelings (y/n), you can't just ignore them. If you think there's a chance, then there probably is. I know your gut, and it's typically right. Why not now." Finally, with all the blood rushing to your head, you turned over, so you were facing right side up. You huffed your hair out of your face, before resting your chin on the edge of the bed.

"Because I don't want to put myself out there again, only to be denied. Any time a guy so much as says hello to me, I think they're interested. Besides I'll probably end up alone-" Nat threw her napkin square at your forehead stopping you mid-sentence.

"Oh please (y/n). Any guy would be lucky to have. Most just don't know how to deal with your confidence. But want to know who would? Bucky."

"Okay Nat, say I did go for it and ask Bucky out. What happens if I read the situation wrong and he doesn't like me. I could not take the awkwardness the would surely follow. And don't tell me we'll get over it. People always say that this won't change their friendship, but it does. I've seen it far too often, and don't say Bucky would be different." Nat and Wanda both rolled their eyes at the comment before standing up and joining you on the bed. You sat up to make room for them, trying to configure yourselves in a circle. Wanda was the first to speak up.

"Look (y/n), I can promise you I haven't read you or Bucky's mind, but I'm pretty sure you both like each other. I know we all work together, and it could get messy, but you have to go with your gut. What happens if you and Bucky both don't get the courage to act on your feelings. You might spend the rest of your life wondering what if."

"Wanda's right (y/n). I'm no expert on relationships, but I do know one or two things on regret. Act on your feelings even if it scares you. The worst thing that could happen is he says no. Then you work like hell to make sure nothing gets awkward, and if it does then Wanda and I will come in and try and knock some sense into him." Your eyes locked on your door. Only a few floors down was an opportunity to seize the day. You fought crime on the daily, your life was constantly in danger. You've saved the world from aliens, and Hydra, and just about any other idiot out there with some idea and some money. This was something you could do." Before you could talk yourself out of it, you grabbed your phone off the counter and threw on your slippers and walked out the door leaving Nat and Wanda behind.

Your body was shaking with nerves and excitement. Your life could change for the best in just two minutes, or you'd be left a little heartbroken and embarrassed. But nothing time and effort couldn't fix.

Once at Bucky’s door you stopped and listened for any sounds coming from Bucky’s room. Although it was quiet, you could tell from the yellow light coming out from the door that Bucky was indeed in there. He was never one to leave the lights on, an old habit that continued to live on from his time back in the 40's.  You brought your hand back, and without a second thought, you lightly tapped on the door.

"Bucky its (y/n)." You tapped the door again, but there was no response. You waited another minute thinking Bucky was possibly in the bathroom. But after a few more knocks and a few more embarrassing minutes of standing at his door, you could feel your confidence dwindle into nothing. So in one swift motion, you turned on your heels and made your way back towards the elevator. Of course, the sudden sight of a door in the hallway opening, startled you just a tad. Out walked a smiling Bucky from Steves room. You checked the date on your phone. It was Thursday, poker night with the boys, and by the looks of the money in Bucky’s hand, he had won once again. Trying to figure out what to do in the now changed situation you gave Bucky a smile when he caught a glance of you.

"Hey doll, what's up?"

"Oh nothing, just taking a little walk through the tower. How about you? Looks like you won big in poker night again." Bucky looked down at his hand and smiled, before putting the money in his pocket.'

"Yeah, poker night with the boys again. I tell you I feel bad sometimes taking money from the guys, But Steve isn't a heavy better and never goes far in, and Tony has enough money to waste at poker, I don't feel too bad. Plus he's cocky, so he deserves to get a little dent in his pocket money." You giggled to yourself as you turned to follow Bucky down the hall and back to his room.

"So, I actually did try knocking on your door. I wanted to talk to you about something. You left the light on so I thought you were inside." Bucky unlocked the door and motioned for you to follow him in.

"Wow can't believe I forgot to turn my light off. But you have my attention now. What did you want to talk about." You could feel your heart begin to race. You knew you needed to get out what you wanted to say fast, with no room for Bucky to interrupt.

"Okay so I need to say this right now; otherwise I'm going to chicken out, and you can't interrupt me otherwise I'll lose my train of thought and look more like an idiot than I already do. So promise me you won't interrupt." Bucky, curious as to what you could possibly have to say, was fast to nod his head in agreement.

"Okay so here it is. Over these past few months, I feel like there's been a connection between you and me more than just a friend connection. And I know I don't have much to go off here, but I flirt, and you flirt, and we keep looking at each other during dinners and meetings, and every time I see you my heart flutters just a bit. And if you are interested, I'd really like to go on a date with you. If you aren't, I'm sorry I read this situation wrong. And I swear we can both forget this ever happened if you do say no, we can not make this awkward cause I need you in my life as my friend and as my colleague, but more as my friend. So just know if we start acting weird around each other Nat and Wanda are going to rain serious hell on us both and-"

"(y/n) can I say something?"

"No, and you promised you wouldn't interrupt, you have to let me finish."

"But I have something important to say."

"I don't care you have to let me finish because, well, great now I lost my train of thought crap uhm-"

"(y/n) I like you too." You swear you felt a thousand butterflies flutter in your stomach, and your heart had to have skipped a beat.

"You... You what?"

"I like you too." Bucky smiled as he took a step closer taking both of your hands. "I was actually thinking about asking you out next week, but I was building up the confidence to ask you out. Steve was trying to help me come up with ways to do it, but you beat me to it. Which I'm glad you did, cause it's stupid for us to not share our feelings." You couldn't stop the smile that was plastered on your face as you listened to Bucky’s words. You gave his hands a little squeeze before working up the courage to look him in the eyes.

"So you like me." Bucky drew back one of his hands to tuck back a piece of hair behind your ear.

"Yes (y/n) I like you, and just to be clear I like you more than a friend. If you'll have me, I'd love to take you out next weekend. I did a little bartering with Tony, and I got him to take my shift next Saturday since I knew you had that night off. So, (y/n) (y/ln) will you go on a date with me?"

However, you were three years in and for you there was no stopping now. Yes, Tony had an unlimited fund of money and could continue to support you through a few more years of schooling, but you already felt guilty taking the four years worth of college tuition, and you weren't going to allow him to spend more.

You had lost both your parents a few years back when you were fifteen. You were lucky enough that your mother was best friends with Laura, who just so happened to be married to one Clint Barton. They took you in gladly, never calling themselves your parents, but they were definitely your guardians. Clint knew after three months on the farm you couldn't stand the country life. But you being quiet and not wanting to be ungrateful, never said a word about missing your old city life. But Clint being the master agent that he was decided that maybe a room in the Avengers Tower would be a significant change of pace for someone who lost everything.

And now here you were a few years later still at the tower. Crying in a California king bed with only you in it. You thought you had it all planned out, but the joke was on you. Life was going to throw a curve ball of self-doubt and lack of confidence your way. And man did it hit you right in the stomach.

In between the uncontrollable sobs you heard a light knock on the door. You quickly wiped the tears from your face and tried to control your breathing as you allowed entrance to the visitor.

"Hey, everything alright in here?" Steve slowly opened the door, and a look of concern grew over his face as he noticed you had been crying,

"Oh, you now just having a 1/4 life crisis. No big deal." You held back a sob as you situated yourself up on your bed, resting your head on the backboard. "I shouldn't really complain about my life, but here I am feeling sorry for myself." Steve gave you a sad smile while he walked over to your spot. He climbed into your bed and took place next to you.

"We all have those days (y/n). You're allowed to feel the way you do. Do you want to talk about it."

"I guess. I just feel bad moping around here, when you have a pretty tragic backstory."

"Don't belittle your problems by comparing them to someone else's. True you may not have been frozen in ice for years while the world continued on, but it's your life, and if you're not happy about it then you have every right to talk it out." You sighed as you lifted your head off the backboard.

"Well its just that. I figured by this time in my life I would be happier. I would be getting a college degree in a field I love and be super excited for the things that await me after, but in all honesty, I'm super lost. I'm already too far into my major to switch, and even if I did switch, I have no clue what I would switch to. I refuse to take any more money from Tony seeing as his generosity is already too much to ever repay him. I don't want to be a burden to Laura and Clint by just returning to the farmhouse to mope about. I don't want to spend the rest of my life here in this tower with nothing to do but watch Netflix and be good at interrupting important Avengers business. I don't know I guess I just feel lost in the world." Steve listened carefully to your words nodding every so often in agreement.

"To me (y/n) you are already a step ahead of the curve. Right now instead of continuing to just go with the flow, you are really questioning if you are doing what you want to do which is important. Look with the whole college thing is pretty simple. Your degree will not be something that sets in stone your future career. Sure it helps, but it's not necessarily the key to getting a job. It shows that you went further into education because you valued knowledge in a certain field. And even if you hate your fancy major, there are plenty of dream jobs that will still take you even with a major in a different field. Also, I think I speak on behalf of everyone here that we don't want to see you go, and if you end up spending the rest of your days here, I don't think anyone would mind. Plus you keep us sane around here. We probably won't survive when you go off to do bigger and better things." You could feel the sadness in your body subside as a rush of calm took over. Sure you weren't feeling 100% better but having the knowledgeable Steve Rogers give you a good therapy session, undoubtedly improved your mood.

"Thanks, Steve. You have no idea how much that helped. I just, I always imagined getting a specific degree and doing that job for like forty years until I retired on some island. I never imagined I'd be here without my parents, living with a bunch of superheroes, having no idea what I was doing with my life." You leaned your head on Steves' shoulder, and he was quick to wrap his arm around you, doing his best to comfort you.

"Life sometimes can be a tricky game. But once you realize that it's rigged, you can start playing it to your advantage. I know its hard when it screws you over, but we learn from the past, and do our best to help shape a better future for ourselves." You kept your head on Steves' shoulder doing your best not to burst out into tears again. You knew you still had plenty of time to figure things out, but you weren't going to lie, not being able to control your future freaked you out, but if you could possibly face the inevitability of the unknown, then you would be alright.

"Who knew a 100-year-old man would be so wise."

"Please don't remind me of my age."

"Hey, when do you reckon you'll have your full life crisis."

"I reckon any day now."