Gold's Vault

I once saw a girl working at a convenience store who pretty clearly thought I was cute. She smiled when I looked at her, giggled when I talked to her, tried to avoid direct eye contact when I smiled, and let me get away with a free cookie once in a while. Neither of us actually so much as learned the other one's name. Nothing came if it, but it would have been an easy green light to ask her out if I'd wanted to.

My girlfriend is someone I've known for more than five years now. She can be a little quiet and shy, and she has some interests she doesn't talk much about in public because she doesn't want to be made fun of. She doesn't have to think twice before talking to me about what she likes, even when I'm not as interested as she is. I'm also comfortable talking to her about things that would embarrass me to bring up in a big group. It's nice. Really nice.

Now you might be reading this and think "that just sounds like a close friend, not necessarily a girlfriend". You're not wrong. A good relationship needs to be based on a good friendship. She and I haven't committed to anything long term, but we have a pretty solid foundation if we ever do.

Cute looks can draw you in to meeting someone, but dating someone you don't know well out of the blue usually doesn't yield the best of results. I think my girlfriend is lovely AND cute (especially when she smiles), but I also know how kind she is and what sorts of troubles she deals with. If I were to ask out someone I don't know anything about just because she's cute, it would be very shallow by comparison.