Lightning Girl

like breathing in shards in my lungs, or the sting of someone slapping you. 

and i’m tired for and nolstalgic of something i never had but felt promised and robbed of at the same time. 

i want you (who are you but some figment or dream i’ve conjured up) to sneak into my room after hours to do nothing more then hold me, or take me on a car drive at 2am to watch the stars bloom above and tell me made up stories

i want your forehead pressed tight against mine as your fingers brush against mine, your voice and touch so soft it doesn’t feel real, your very being condensed into everything and nothing all at once against me and i want to feel so full of you, until it’s like i’m bursting at the seams and falling apart yet coming together all at once

i want to wake up to feel you beside me with butterfly kisses against my pulse, or feel the empty space where your warmth used to be, fading all too quickly

every girl has that little pouch of fat on her lower tummy, despite what magazines try n show u, you have important organs there that need to be protected don’t try and get rid of ur pouch

ur body is smarter than u think and it knows what to do when u eat more than normal. one bad day, or even week, of eating poorly isn’t gonna ruin anything at all I pinky promise

if u think u look good up until u try taking a selfie, it’s not ur fault - our faces are asymmetrical and when u see ur face flipped it will look unnatural to u, since u don’t see it that way when u look in the mirror. to everyone else it looks perfectly fine

no one’s stomach looks the same at 8pm as it does at 8am. no one has a chiseled six pack after a day of eating, not even the super fit people u see on tumblr, because ur stomach naturally expands after eating and expecting to have a flat tummy before bed is very unrealistic

no one notices if the bags under ur eyes are bad today. no one pays attention to the bump in ur nose or the zit on ur chin or the piece of hair that u missed when u were straightening. literally no one notices these things except you so stop worrying about it ur gonna be fine

wabi-sabi: seen good in everything, sleeping until 12 pm, playing mimic with friends and sucking at it, jumping in the puddles, appreciating the small things, not afraid of making mistakes.

aesthete: waking up early to see the sunrise, standing on the window listening the birds sing, playing with your dog, reading an old book under a big tree, get your hair dirt with ink, dancing in the rain.

meraki: working really hard for everything, always late, crazy ideas, genial minds, care too much about others, always trying to overcome their barriers, giving their best.

nepenthe: good night kiss, best huggers, listening music in the highest volume, a hot cup of coffee in the winter, Netflix until 3 am, texting your friends good night, watching an old film, cooking your fav meal.

polisipo: being under the blanket in a cold day, going out with your friends, dancing alone in the middle of the room, driving to nowhere with the window down, having fun and forgetting about time.

But the rain still falls, and the sun still shines;

And as time passes, I’ll learn to be fine;

Knowing I’m not yours, and you’re not mine.”

-Excerpt from a book I’ll never write, 99

*insert snobby gen X voice* “ha you probably don’t even know how to live without WiFi”

With angry words,

With broken hearts.

With people done,

And fists held high.

And with more than just prayers

Shouted at empty skies.

With opened eyes,

And protests being made.

We’re not going to just

Let another tragedy fade.

We may be young,

But we’re the change.

And yes,

This is exactly our “lane.”

The future is ours

We’ll make it our way.

We won’t let this happen again

On some another day.

And if you can’t fix your mistakes

We’ll do it ourselves.

This is a stand we will always be willing to take.

This is how revolutions start.

With anger, and ideas,