Favorite Coping Mechanism

silver spoons with strings attached

i'm obsessed with the head cannon I just made up. the idea that one day lucas got so annoyed with mike not admitting he was gay he proves it to him.

he isn't the type to not call mike out on his bullshit. so they get in the biggest fight in their lives. the argument ends with lucas saying "fuck it, i'll proof it" then kisses mike. causing mike to realize he's gay because even though it had no passion behind it. it's the best kiss he's had.

mike proceeds to gay panic so Lucas takes the opportunity to say " I told you so, now who do you wish actually kissed you" making mike confess to loving Willl

they then make a plan for how mike is going to win Willl's heart. along with how he's going to confess because it has to be romantic af.

after mike and will kiss for the first time. mike accidentally lets it slip that Willl kisses better than lucas. only explaining it as "well someone had to yank me out of the closet. you should appreciate their sacrifice" This makes Willl incredibly confused until he realizes that he can taunt Lucas about it later.

max also thinks it's the funniest shit ever and laughed when Lucas said he did it. He had joked about it before and she said he could. she didn't think he would go through with it she will taunt mike about this for the end of time.

"your gay" Lucas yells

"no i'm not" mike says defensive

"fine, i'll prove it" Lucas kisses mike

"fuck" mike says shocked

I'd like to think Steve constantly carries around a rolly chair to chill in. Cronic pain is the main reason why, this guy definitely ended up disabled. Rolly chairs are fun and less intimidating as a wheel chair. he's also stubborn and would never admit to being disabled.

it started as him doing at the hideout and his found family houses. now we basically always have it in his trunk for bed days. Constantly kicking off walls to move around. it's caused him to be more active because before just standing around would exhaust him.

i need to ask a question and refuse to ask anyone in my life because this shit is depressing as fuck. warning graphic depictions of violence and abuse.

Is it obvious who Past Dudley is vs who now Dudley is? I think it is but I can't tell because I already know who says and does what.

Dementors scene

[][]Scene Setting: The park

[][]Time: Summer before 5th year

[][]Cast: dudley, harry eventualy, Dementor

Dudley is flung onto his back as a dementor flies above him. Swelling pain rushes as his back hits the ground. It’s quickly replaced with something even worse. His whole body feels as if it’s on fire as thick grey smoke flows out of his mouth and into the dementors. 

Scene fades to black

[][]scene setting: dudley house: interior harry’s closet under the stair case

[][]time: summer before 2nd year

[][]cast: dudley, past dudley, past vermone

Dudley looks around confused and wonders why he is so small and how he got in here. He goes to open the door but it’s locked. That’s when he hears a noise, Past Dudley stomping on the stairs above him. The sound makes the room feel even smaller than before as the sound vibrates throughout the room. A terrifying realization hits him.

He stays frozen in that spot until he hears the sound of a door unlocking. He immediately sprints to the door, opening it and leaving the room. Unfortunately he’s immediately shoved into the wall by Past Dudley. It hurts significantly more than Dudley expected it to. Mostly because his body is now covered in bruises and his ribs are broken. This is also when he notices how hard it is to breath with broken ribs. 

“Hey, wtf” dudly yells in defense

“What did you just say to me? You are below me. Act like it.” Past Dudley says as he slams his foot down on Dudleys chest. 

Pinning him to the ground and sending more spikes of pain throughout his chest. Even with his foot just sitting on his chest hurts. Constantly sending sprouts of pain throughout his body. 

“Dad do something” dudley calls out desperate

“What did you just call me, Past dudley move over so i can teach him a lesson”  Past Vernon

“No, he’s mine. You can have him after I'm finished.” Past dudley wines

Past Dudley continues to press harder and harder on his chest. His eyes fill with an evil, gleeful smile as Dudley screams in pain. After what feels like hours, Past Dudley gets bored and goes into the kitchen. Past Vernon comes over and picks dudley up by his shirt. Pushing him against the wall of the hallway

“Now you listen to me you ungrateful brat. You are nothing, you are worthless. I’m not your father and I never will be. You are nothing but a disgusting mistake.” Past Vernon says with pure hatred in his eyes as if he’s expecting a response

When he doesn’t get a response he slams Dudley into the wall again. 

“Say it, you are nothing, you are worthless, your nothing but a disgusting mistake” Past Vernon sners at him

“You are….” dudleys cut off by vermon slamming him into the wall causing his head to hit the wall so hard it the world starts spinning and everything gets so bright it burns his eyes.

“ don’t you dare sass me boy, or are you just that dumb. I’ll dumb it down since your brain doesn’t seem to be working. you say, "I am worthless, I am nothing but a disgusting mistake” over pronounces the I in each sentence. 

‘I am worthless, i am nothing but a disgusting mistake” dudley replies his voice shaking 

“Good you finally know your place,i’ve decided you aren’t needed today”  Past Vernon drags dudley by his hair into the room. 

Dudley lays on the ground a sobbing mess. He shoves his head in a pillow when Past Dudley starts complaining about how annoying it is. Scared that he would go tell Past Vernon on him. Questioning everything he’s ever known. 

Scene fades to black

i'm obsessed with the idea of non redeemed Draco accidentally giving people good advice mid insult. he might be a jerk but he tells his version of the truth type of vibes.

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when he finds out Harry is being abused by the dursleys he goes the taunt him about it.

“You're pathetic pppottah, you complain about how terribly they treat you and yet you just let it happen. Do you think you deserve it or something? “ Draco sneers at harry

“ what no”  Harry argues back

“then act like it, a fight between muggle and wizards should always end with the wizard winning. They are weaker than us, we have magic. Only a pathetic excuse for a wizard would loose to muggles"

“Did you forget I can’t use magic on them” Harry points out

“And there it is. I should have known it was something pathetic like that. There are plenty of ways around that. Potions for example you absolute simpleton.” Draco taunts

“No way that would work”

“Oh it would. by the time wizards would even suspect something. Their bodies would have already absorbed the potion. I recommend a strong poison. Or if you're still stupid enough to show them mercy, a simple charm spell would surface. I don't know why i'm even surprised you didn't think of it. I mean you are from the muggle world. that's what they do, raise weak people. "

leaving Harry stunned because it's insulting and unbelievably bigoted but also the best advice he's gotten from anyone about this situation.

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He learns neville isn't good at magic. tells him he's as useful as a squib, wait no squibs are more useful than him because at least they know their place. He calls him a pathetic excuse for a wizard that should stop wasting time studying magic when it's never going to work. find a way to be useful without magic or get out of the way.

as insulting as it is, it's still good advice. so he takes it and starts practicing how to fight and exist as a muggle. that's what ends up helping neville become the type of person who finds the sword of Gryffindor.

Me when I wrote a 30,000 word fanfiction but then decided to make a main character trans. so now I have to change every time I gendered them. So I don't miss-gender them. While desperately hoping I don't forget one and accidentally make a character Transphobic. or come off as if i'm transphobic

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the AO3 codes line things make perfect eyes. they really just stare into your soul don't they

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the biggest misconception when writing is the idea that you have to write it from the beginning to the end in order. it makes sense that we assume that because that's how we read but that's now how you have to write. you can, plenty of good books are made that way but you don't have to.

obviously you start with the concept and plot points. stuff like what's the point of your story? what type of message are you trying to convey. along with what you character motivations and bonds are.

then write a time/plot line for your story like this

just write small sentences for each plot point to remind you of what you want to happen. then fully write out the interaction whenever you want. I notice when i'm writing that I know what I want to write but my brain is s full of ideas I don't know where to start. this helps me stay organized and get my thoughts down. So they aren't just a swirling mess in your brain. it also helps let you see if you have plot holes. Or if you are writing yourself in a corner before your too far in to fix it without hours of work. this also helps you know what you're working towards. so you can foreshadow.

i like using good docs so I can use their title/heading system to have my chapters nice and organized. now you can just just go wherever you want in your story and write that interaction.

if you have an especially complicated scene. you can also use the timeline method to make it easier.

if you want to write a scene but you don't know where it belongs yet. just create another heading at the end. it might be cut or added in later.

I'm not saying it excuses her behavior but every thing she did can be explained with this diagnosis. if not this one than one close to it.

the symptoms for this include intense mood swings, blinding anger, unstable relationships, fear of abandonment, impulsive behaviors, distorted self image, chronic feelings of emptiness, and self harming tendencies.

She is also at least being emotionally abused. having a past of child abuse is a requirement for this diagnosis because you aren't born with BPD. You're given it by growing up in an unsafe environment. her being told that she's not good enough and that everyone hates her. If they don't now, eventually everyone will. that people just don't know sasha enough to hate her yet. her parents saying stuff like this fucked her up in a way that never allowed her to learn how to properly process emotions.

she doesn't know how to have stable relationships either. Believing it's inevitable for people to hate you can cause bpd people to self sabotage, hurt and push others away. especially when un-diagnosed because they don't understand why they feel like this. they don't know how to practice mindfulness. Which is basically learning how to pause and dissect emotions logically instead of through emotions(I hope this makes sense). it takes a lot to break away from the default though setting. having to constantly stop and ask "wait am I over reacting right now because of a strong emotion? does this person deserve to be treated like this for what they did?"

Theirs also something called switching, that's when someone goes from being your favorite person to your lease favorite. it can happen for small reasons that shouldn't be that big of a deal. Like finding out your friends have a group chat call "not Sarah".

they go from "they can do no wrong" to "they can do no right". if unnoticed/untreated this could cause you to think they dissevers to be punished. then in an impulsive move blinded by anger you flip a switch and get them hurt. she mentioned this during the season 3 finale.

"when i saw that not Sasha group chat, when I realized you were all purposefully leaving me out. it sort of flipped some switch in my brain. because it had proved something that I always thought. that there was just something fundamentally repellent about me."

if I got chosen to be a player in the hunger games. I would do one of two things. have the most intense crash out of my life. no one would be able to enjoy any of their content without hearing me throwing a tantrum in the background. Then jump off the podium before the games even starts.

or I would create an extremely interesting, elegant underdog story. get everyone in the capital to like and sponsor me. tell them the start of the juiciest capital and district gossip ever. Never elaborate or reveal who it is but that I plan on revealing the rest during and after the games. for my last act(Literally) i'd 'accidentally' trip and get blown up before the game even starts. so they have to feel the disappointment of not getting the show or gossip they wanted.

my main goal would be to not have a satisfying story. no matter how they try to spin it. popular underdog gossip queen trips and dies before the games start would crush so many people. it might even ruin the entire game.

they'll never know which current contestant is secretly in a Polly relationship involving someone high up in the capital. they met in the woods, they both went there to get some fresh air and to be alone. instead they ended up finding each other. they hated the other but kept going back to the same spot to see them again. Over time they discovered something weird. The other guy was the only one who could calm them down.

draco sighs annoyed and roles up his sleeve revealing a fazed light grey not so dark mark

harry takes a sigh of relief "thanks"

Ron: "what was that"

harry: "sometimes I need a reminder that he's gone. it's grey, he's gone"

Ron: "Oi, MALfoy can I see your mark"

so how often do you think a wizard's favorite color comes into play when deciding on their house. I know my favorite color being green definitely came into play with me picking Slytherin.

I was struggling to decide between raven claw and Slythrine. so I took the official hp quiz and got Hufflepuff. that just confused me more so I took more online tests and it showed that I'm really close to all of them. cool, that was no help. so I spent hours researching and compiled my work to a 10 page Google doc. trying to truly understand how each house worked. then realized that's the most ravenclaw and slythrin thing I've ever done. so it's probably one of those still.

out of curiosity I retook the official hp quiz and got Gryffindor. thanks for nothing jkr, your absolutely not help when it comes to clearly defined cannon and lore. this fandom would be no where without the fanon cannon. these houses are so boring without it. Plus fuck that bigot. most of my 'research' was me looking up random characters and finding out what fans think their house is. did you know people fight over weither Nightwing is a Gryffindor, Hufflepuff or Sythrine. They're such really cool character anayist on the whole bat family. cannon house vs cannon house debates. Nightwing is still the one that's debated the most.

then I thought why not just pick based on my favorite color. that's green so slythrene it is, but I can't help but think that's such a Hufflepuff thing to do. But I hate yellow, no offense to yellow but it's not my color. makes me look weird. so the most huffle puff thing I could do is not be put in Huffle puff. you know like Harry convincing the hat to put him in Gryffindor because he's the boy who lived is the most slythrine thing he could do.

Also Hogwarts houses aren't decided by what you are. they are decided based on what you want to be and I want to be wearing green. I als0 like the sythrin characteristics. damn I just realized me trying to manipulate my way into the house I want with the but it's my favorite color argument. is so slyhrine.

i also feel like me misspelling sythrine wrong 10 different ways gets me disqualified from the raven claw house. (yes i'm only bringing this up so I don't have to fix it)

these two are basically the same character archetype but they also contradict each other in a really interesting way. One hates wizards while the other hates muggles. some of the hp community has decided that these characters deserve the Zuko treatment. They're never paired together when they do it and that seems like such a missed opportunity.

I think these two interacting would be amazing. it doesn't even have to be shipping. haters to friends would also work. I can practically hear them screaming slurs and propaganda at each other. Until one assumption is so outrageously stupid they start insulting each others believes instead. slowly convincing the other that muggles and wizards arn't what they thought.

they then go on a journey a lot like in My Name Is Earl. Making a list of all the people they have wronged. Then doing their best to make it up to them, falling in love on the way. out of every character pairing I think these two would be the only ones who truly understand the other. To understand why they did terrible things in the past. how they could be so wrong in thier believes while pushing the other to be better.

they also bond over how much they hate Harry Pottah. then over how panicked they are when they realize they have to apologize to him.

this series is so old there's no way someone hasn't thought of this. it deffintly breaks cannon though but what if their was one mark that could cover up the dark mark. created by Voldemort himself as part of the killing ritutal for people who betrayed him. he would put the mark over their dark mark. cut off their arm and hang it up for all of his followers to see. before torture and killing said person. to keep everyone in line

it was the thing that kept Draco in line for years. he closes his eyes and can see the arms dangling down with the mark. the sounds of their screams. sometimes it was people who Draco knew were loyal but just pissed off Voldemort that day. he feared the day that mark would be on his arm.

when Draco breaks away from the cult he wants the dark mark gone or at least something to show he's not a death eater anymore. so he brands that mark over his dark mark, he's dead to the death eaters anyway. To solidify his choice and make it so he can never go back. As a constant reminder of why he left. now his greatest fear is becoming the coward he once was.

it should be a dagger because it symbolizes betrayal and looks similar to the sword that kills the snake. this is the ruff ruff draft.

as much as I love the bi panic conflict i've thought of one even better. as we've established in this fandom Steve has abandonment issues. eddie's part of a rock band and wants to tour the world. at least that's what Steve thinks.

that would terrify him enough to not want to start dating him because Eddie's band is good. so he's stuck in the position of hoping they doesn't get big and go on tour. that's not fair to Eddie though but him leaving for months on end wouldn't work for Steve. nor would Steve want to just follow them. he has people in Hawkins and would never leave robin. mostly he doesn't want to travel to the world constantly. vacations sure but constantly. no

now how would they work this out. it's a miscommunication, mostly on Steve's side. he heard Eddie talking about going on tours once and assumed it would be constant. that's what he's used to but Eddie doesn't want to go on tours constantly. maybe one every few years.

to do list

--be gay(not a requirement)

--a lot of caffeine

--be an ally (mandatory)

--take a moment to remember your favorite cannon LBGTQ+ ship/couple

--take the time to appreciate your favorite LBGTQ+ character/person

--create/organize all fandom ships, genders, sexuality, non attractions, romantic attractions, flags and more categories.

AVOID AT ALL COST

--homophones

--republicans (stay away from me, ew)

--magots

--facist

--another synonym

DEMANDS

--Have cannon gay characters in tv shows. Make them gay or keep them straight. Authors with commitment issues bother me.

--Cannon gay ships with out one of them dying or getting a lobotomy (commitment issues, am I right)

--more rainbows

--new LGBTQ+ flags, no flag is safe, we will make every flag gay. I just made the American flag gay. ha GAY, the United States of gay.

--new colors (when are we going to get that color update)

--same sex love (LOVE, we want the right to love you as-holes. it's love, why do people genuinely think they get to decide what gender you date. why are you attacking this right, go away)

--body autonomy(again why is this anyone's business, body altering surgeries are a serious decision. that only involve the consenting patient and doctor opinions/decision. no one else.

--For people to fuck off

--fuck off, leave us alone

TO BE PROTECTED

--Daniel Radcliff,

--Pedro Pascal,

--Any other person who speaks about LGBTQ topics the way they do.

--LGBTQ+

the napkin will give mike at the end of this fanfic