Agcl

Felix will remember this forever: the solemn silence that fell after the Leader's loudspeakers went off. Uncertain but happy smiles on his compatriots’ faces. And… That woman, Rachel - gently touching his hand. 

He knows this day will be in history books; he will probably be in history books! - but at that moment there's nothing more important than her hand in his trembling palm. 

Everything goes so quickly after that one moment: people laughing, congratulating each other, organising, throwing away the rubble and the symbols of the fallen regime, some groups storming cantines to throw parties: he feels a bit lost in all this mess. He got rid of the headphones before, but now thinks he could use a little silence… Where should he go now? Felix dreamt to leave the town one day, so why not now? Maybe after a couple of beers with his old neighbours, if he could find them… No. That was a lie. He doesn't want to see them now, the only thing on his mind is…

– Mr Felix! 

A melodic voice reaches him through the sound of blusterous new life: it's Rachel. The old guys are standing around her.

– It seems you have nowhere to go, mr Felix, - says Durgyef, - Don't you want to celebrate our victory with us? I think you absolutely deserve it!

He's uncertain, but Rachel's little smile convinces him immediately.

They gathered in her old little apartment in the women's house. At first Rachel is so terribly upset about her piano has been destroyed by the policemen she almost starts crying.

– Oh, don't worry, dear, - says Bafov, - Did you really believe we let them destroy everything? 

Then he disappears in a tiny room, and after a while comes back with some instruments, some with strings, some with sticks – Felix doesn't even know their names – and an old looking bottle and five fancy glasses.

An expression of relief appears on her face:

– Thank you, friends… I knew I could rely on you three.

While old glasses are being filled and old stories told, Felix looks at her. She looks older than on those paintings he saw – because of course, how long has she been trapped by the Leader? How much has she endured? But still so pretty… But it's not just physical beauty that captivates him: it's something about her noble stance, and a delicate gesture of her hand when she touches the strings (that instrument is called a mandolin, he learns), and shining thoughtfulness in her deep dark eyes. He never met a woman like this before, and probably never will. This evening feels like a revelation.

After a couple of drinks the atmosphere in the room gets warmer, friendlier. Murunef cracks a musical joke Felix doesn't understand, but laughs with everyone. And then notices that good cognac gave Rachel's cheeks a pinker tint and even more shine in her eyes. Oh, good heavens. Now he sees her not just like an ethereal voice from a dream, or an old painting on the wall, or damsel in distress, or a political prisoner – he sees a warm, living human woman. Older and much smarter than him, but fragile, like all them humans. So fragile and still so full of life…

Fortunately nobody sees him blushing at his thoughts: the old guys are asking Rachel to sing, and starting a quarrel about the repertoire.

– Oh, for heaven's sake! - she interrupts them, - Can you PLEASE stop this at least just for today? I think it's my turn to choose the music. And I'm not in the mood to sing today. Let's play something! Does anybody have notes for “Pink Carnation Maze”?

Of course, Bafov has it. Rachel puts on cute little glasses to read them, and then smiles: “Oh, that'll do”

– Do you want to join us, mr Felix? - she turns her head to his blushing face.

– Oh, I… I'm sorry, I don't really play anything… Or sing…

– It's okay. Then listen. Every music needs a good listener. 

And then they start playing. 

And then he closes his eyes.

It sounds like nothing he heard before (will those surprises stop today? Probably not): it's not even opera. It's something more light, energetic, joyful, and filled with such intricate transitions that Felix feels put on a rollercoaster. At some point he notices he started dancing? As the music progresses, it gets even more intense, more and more sounds add to the symphony until he feels something undescribable. It's like his soul got bigger than his body, bigger than this room, bigger than this town. How do those people do that? How does she do that? Tears are coming to his eyes and he's not ashamed at all.

When the melody stops, he wipes his eyes with his long sleeves and smiles. The musicians smile back. A long silence comes, as words are useless now. 

After a while, when Bafov goes to get another bottle, Felix breaks the silence.

– What was it? It didn't sound like the music of the old times…

– Oh, mr Felix!, - Durgyef laughs, - Our culture has so much more than operas!

Rachel leans to his face (too close!) and smiles:

– I almost envy you, because you're about to discover it all for the first time…

I have to say the moment Felix and Rachel finally meet in her cell is one of my favorite scenes (and man, there are so many fun, charming moments in this game to choose from). But this one in particular is so moving to me. Rachel seems to not be able to hear Felix due to despair, but then we play a song for her on the pipes puzzle…(which I think it’s sweet that we are given the role of playing a song for her when the pervasive, ethereal presence of the memory of her voice has guided us throughout the story. Although it’s depicted as a puzzle solution we as the gamer achieved with Felix sort of just there, in a more realistic, narrative sense, I like to think of it as Felix taking an active role to sing to her, to call out to her heart, not just to her ears).

And, then…she starts singing. Even at her lowest, she just can’t help but let out that beautiful music that lives inside her soul; all that she represents as the voice of hope, freedom, and autonomy cannot be contained. I can now understand why she is visually associated with the moon in the story - she truly is best described as radiant.

And THEN she gracefully turns around, sort of surprising both the viewer and Felix. Instead of in memory, she sings to him. And although it’s hard to see, I’m pretty sure he starts smiling here (yes, I zoomed in to check lol. Look at that little smile!! Look at it)

And then ugh - the way she draws closer??? And gently holds his hands??? And he sort of looks around a bit flustered???

(Felix, man, he really triggers my cuteness aggression hnnnngh. When I first played this game with my sister, I remember clearly turning to her and saying I really wanted to give him an affectionate noogie. Where is a plushie of him pleeeeease I NEED).

And it just, for a brief moment, it’s like…all that exists in the world is just the two of them, making this tender, intimate connection; they’ve barely known each other really, but they have this special kind of bond. Maybe it’s because of Felix knowing her somehow in some way in the Old Times, but it’s like they’ve known each other for a long time. It all feels very romantic – not per se in the use of the word for love and attraction (which IDK, maybe they could be read like that, potentially!), but in the “old fashioned” use of like…evoking the otherworldly and mysterious. I guess I can sum up their relationship as very special, something dearly profound and precious.

It’s just so darn CUTE and SWEET HGHHH — 😭

And then of course Mr. Anal-Retentive-Crankypants had to barge in and ruin the moment

Perhaps though this moment feels so impactful to me because it’s brief. A lot of the moments Felix and Rachel share are pretty fleeting, actually. But somehow, this makes their time together feel more impactful, even if bittersweet, and it’s amazing how the game makers make the two feel so connected in the short space of the game’s runtime. 

…I like to think that some day, they do meet again. Sure, at the end of the tale, Felix says she was gone, but he is saying that is the case for him at the time he is telling us the story. Who’s to say what happens after he leaves the city? 🙂 In either case, him saying he can still hear her sing (and him traveling with her pet bird) shows how he carries a part of Rachel with him. And I think Rachel carries a part of Felix with her too. Even though they are apart, they still are connected to each other by a deep, soulful thread. 🥲