melodrama

a small thing i learned from my sister dying is that i really would rather the people i love be a burden than be whatever the hell else they'd be if they weren't. yes even if it's messy and not always fair and hard completely inconvenient for everyone involved. even if it's weird. even if i'm rolling my eyes a bit inside sometimes. i just want you to bother me. please always bother me

like "it's rotten work" "not to me not if it's you" actually sometimes it's still rotten work. even if it's you. and i'd still do it a million times over

from the bottom of my fucking heart. how are we supposed to live under these conditions.

You come from a long line of people who have survived, in many cases survived real horrors, and found that survival worthwhile. Find something to be moved by. Find something or someone to move.