resurrected wanderer.

ryouta's gaze lingers onto tingyun, noting her rather anxious body language. ( the rubbing of her arm, the ears twitching, the way they press down, and her averting gaze .... ) for a brief second, there's a twist in his stomach, worried he might've said the wrong thing or if he's making her uncomfortable in any way when she was suppose to be having a good time during her stay here, just like he promised. he's ready to ask what it is that's plaguing her with so much unease until she continues .... their pace becoming slower, his feet following more of tingyun's pace to retain his presence at her side. what was bothering her so much that it was even getting in the way of her usual playful demeanor ?

her following words do warrant his pace to briefly stop, hazel eyes widening in surprise. her ... what ? " ... feelings for me ? " he reiterates, surprise evident in his tone. ... a date, she said. she wanted this to be a date ... with him ? his surprise is perhaps the most expressive he's ever been next to tingyun, and how could he not be ? yes, indeed ... tingyun was an important client of his, and eventually that professionalism led to a casual friendship, toeing beyond the lines of ' bodyguard ' and ' client. ' but to think that tingyun felt this way ....

he doesn't allow the silence between them to linger -- reaching out carefully to gently wrap his hand around her wrist out of hope of easing her anxious nerves. " is ... that what you've been nervous about ? that you have feelings for me ? "

     her mouth dropped open at the surprise in his voice. it made her flinch in pain like she had been struck by an arrow. there was a tiny hope that perhaps he could have felt something for her as well but that tiny hope dissolved into nothingness. eyes go from his expression to his grip upon her wrist. her entire face felt hot from the simple comforting touch. swallowing down her disappointment , she steeled her nerves &. she pulled away from him taking a step back. her fan opened , as she fanned herself , ❛     it's so silly , you've only ever been a professional. by the surprise on your face , i guess my suspicions have been confirmed that you do not feel the same !    ❜ a laugh came forth. why had she let her feelings grow , inviting her to eden clouds , always being attentive of her needs , it was what a good bodyguard would do. nothing more. oh tingyun , why do you always have to be right ?

     breathing out a sigh , she smiled. a sad but genuine one. all nervousness dissipated leaving behind dread. she knew this outcome was coming &. that is why she had been anxious. she had been anxious to face the inevitable. ❛     i'll be greedy &. steal one kiss , forgive me.    ❜ rising up on her tiptoes , she softly kissed his stubbled cheek. it was bittersweet , his skin felt warm &. the smell of his cologne filled her senses. the twist in her stomach ached for more.

     ❛     do not worry about your job , i'll be sure to give you magnificent review. all things have to end &. i believe this is the perfect place to end our contract.    ❜ she brushed his hair out of his face , lingering to memorize his features before falling back on her flats of her shoes. hands smoothed over her new dress. why had she entertained these fake thoughts. ❛     it has been an unforgettable time , mr. ryouta.    ❜  the formality felt like a knife , ❛     i ... i must leave.    ❜  then she began to walk away from him ... hoping he would not try to smooth over &. make her feel like more of a fool.

" you think so ? " he looks down at himself, carding a hand down the side of his button up to straighten any potential wrinkles. " it's nothing special or anything ... maybe i just have to start wearing my uniform less if this attire impresses you so much. " an almost playful admission followed by a brief scratch of his beard. compared to tingyun's wide, vast wardrobe, his was lackluster and nothing to write home to. ( sure, the occasional formal wear and such if the event calls for them. ) but nothing he put too much effort on besides the standards. though, the hint of cologne on his person can be noticeable to the sharp nose ... a minor change in his usual assortment of attire; just to smell a little nicer since they were both going out together.

as they traverse down the path leading to the restaurant just down the other end of the block of town, ryouta takes note of the way tingyun seems -- a bit awkward. timid in a way that was unfamiliar to him. a quiet part of him can't help but ponder with uncertainty; was something bothering her ? did she feel on edge for some reason ? her words earns ryouta a quiet frown, warranting a gently bump of his arm against tingyun's while they walk. " c'mon ... believe me when i say that i don't treat all of my clients like this. you're a special exception because i consider you closer than just a simple client of mine. ... or do you just not believe me ? " a brow is raised.

     her ears twitched as she heard him , lashes blinked. you're a special exception.  mouth gaped , her heart skipped a beat &. then her cheeks grew crimson , tail flicked to &. fro before she stopped it with her hand.  ❛     what do you mean by that ? special exception ?    ❜ fingertips drew her hair back that had fallen into her eyeline. eyes averted , ears pressed down against her hair. she rubbed her arm feeling guilt for her feelings. however if this unbearable nervousness went on any longer she would perish. tingyun was sure , confident , &. honest. yet at this moment she ran through all of the scenarios &. the possibility of fracturing their friendship came to the forefront. breathing out a sigh with all her might , she wanted to stop this awkwardness. ❛     you're thoughtful , gentle &. patient. you manage to be a strong pillar when i need someone.    ❜

     just spit it out , be done with it , &. figure out the rest later. you've been given a second lease at life to see the stars &. to find a changed purpose. this was going to be a regret if at one point they departed from each other. after all , contracts end. the foxian stared down at her shoes that he had gotten for her. it was such a moment of surprise since she usually was the one getting gifts for people &. it made her gaze upon in a new light. it made her more comfortable having him around. she had known madam yukong had hired him to take care of her as she ventured out into the unknown ton the way to yuque. however ryouta never made her feel out of place. it was quite natural to have his company everywhere she went. ❛     &. you probably haven't even noticed my growing feelings for you.    ❜ the wind blew softly , petals drifted through the air under the beautiful night sky. tingyun cast a helpless smile accompanied by a laugh at the sheer absurdity , ❛     i can't help but want this ... to be a date.    ❜ 

'She's   so   beautiful!'   an   innocent   thought   that   crossed   her   mind.   Though   not   something   Sigrika   would   actually   say   out   loud   -   ...   -   quiet   admiration   was   good   enough.   -   but   her   'admiration'   was   perhaps   a   tad   too   long,   she   and   the   foxian   lady's   gazes   seemed   to   meet,   causing   the   girl   to   flinch   back   in   embarrassment. 

 "U-Uh....   sorry-   I   didn't   mean   to   stare   at   you   ...   I   just   happened   to   notice   how   lovely   your   clothes   are   ....   and   um   -...well   we   don't   have   anything   nearly   as   stylish   where   I'm   from..."

      the girl appeared so lively &. had a beautiful voice to compliment it. she had honey in her entirety that flowed from her aura. her enthusiasm burst at the seams as those big sweet eyes stared a bit too long at her. oh , she flinched ... was she startled ? jade spheres widened in surprise but became calm &. steady as the girl spoke. ❛     oh ! thank you that's so kind to say.    ❜ 

     how adorable. she tutted the fan against her chin before revealing a gentle smile. she had a few moments to spare &. before their interaction ... the daisy incarnate seemed a bit lost ? or at least akin to a wandering reed in the bustling streets for the market. ❛     would you like to find some clothes like this ? there's a shop nearby but i think what you have on is lovely. is that handmade embroidery ? what craftsmanship.    ❜ she held out her arm offering her something to latch onto , to giver her anchor through the crowd. a little tour around the market would be lovely &. ease her possible nerves.

"Was  that  your  hand,  or  did  I  imagine  it?"

"You  didn’t  pull  away."

"That  wasn’t  just  a  glance."

"You  felt  that  too,  didn’t  you?"

"Your  breath  just  hitched."

“Are  you  alright?”

“You  look  out  of  breath”

“You  were  looking  for  me?”

"I  noticed  the  way  you  said  my  name."

"That’s  the  first  time  you’ve  touched  me  like  that."

"Don’t  pretend  you  didn’t  lean  in."

"You’re  closer  than  you  were  a  minute  ago."

"Say  it’s  not  just  me  feeling  this."

"Your  fingers  just  brushed  mine."

"We’ve  never  stood  this  close  before."

“This  is  new  territory.” 

"I  felt  your  hand  pause  there."

"Your  voice  changes  when  you're  near  me."

"That  smile…  it  wasn’t  friendly."

“Are  we  pretending  that  didn’t  just  happen?”

"That  wasn’t  part  of  the  plan,  was  it?"

"I’m  not  imagining  this  anymore,  am  I?"

"You  touched  my  arm  and  stayed  there."

"When  did  the  way  you  say  my  name  start  sounding  like  that?"

"Your  lips  are  a  lot  closer  than  they  should  be."

"You  didn’t  have  to  whisper  it  like  that."

"That  was  the  first  time  you  hesitated."

"You’re  not  hiding  it  very  well."

"You  looked  at  me  like  you  wanted  to  say  something  else."

"We  crossed  a  line  just  now,  didn’t  we?"

"You  leaned  into  the  silence."

"I  caught  the  way  you  looked  at  my  mouth."

"You  blinked  like  I  surprised  you."

"You  didn't  let  go."

"That  wasn’t  how  friends  touch."

“You  moved  closer,  not  away.”

"We’re  not  just  standing  here,  are  we?"

"You  tilted  your  head  like  you  wanted  more."

"Something  just  changed,  didn’t  it?"

"That  was  the  first  time  you  didn’t  avoid  my  eyes."

"You’re  looking  at  me  like  I’m  already  yours."

"Your  hand  brushed  mine,  and  everything  stopped."

“I  felt  your  hesitation…”

"You’re  not  pretending  anymore."

"That  silence  said  more  than  anything  else  could."

"That  look,  what  does  it  mean?"

"You  almost  kissed  me  just  now."

"Tell  me  that  wasn’t  nothing."

"You  were  going  to  say  something,  weren’t  you?"

lifting up the edge of his sleeve to look at his watch, he briefly registers that tingyun should be dressed by now. ( even for someone as meticulous as her when it came to her physical appearance. ) plenty of times, he's seen her put a lot of effort on her looks; it came with the job as a merchant after all. as he waits, he can hear rustling behind the door followed by the quick pace of footsteps making their way through the doors. with the door swung open, hazel eyes look at tingyun's well - dressed form -- brows lifting with intrigue at the sight of her dress. from the way she touched up on her make-up and did her hair too. " oh ... wow, you look great. ... you always look good in pink. " he smiles briefly, quietly relieved to see she was getting comfortable during her stay, even if it hasn't even been a whole day just yet.

" you look wonderful. i'll take you around shopping tomorrow so you can look around for some more clothes if you'd like. " he can hear some of the staff gossiping amongst each other close by; briefly glancing in their direction with piqued interest. ( the local hound was on guard duty, they whisper. ) knowing that tingyun probably has better hearing, he clears his throat -- quickly falling into a walk by the time she takes him by the arm and leads her out of the inn. " nothing too fancy; just one of the local restaurants here that focuses on a seafood based cuisine. i think you'll like it. ... but how're you holding up so far ? hopefully the staff was treating you well. "

        the night air swirled around them embracing the two as they walked. his reaction made her blush but she felt like he'd say that to anyone. he had always been polite &. a complete gentleman. he was just treating her as any other client or friend. quiet your heart &. maybe one day it would cease to ache in his presence. yes , it was good to damper your expectations with your tragically romantic heart , ❛     thank you , ryouta that sounds lovely.    ❜ she gazed up at him with a soft smile , ❛     you look quite handsome yourself dressed in something other than your uniform.    ❜ 

     the staff made her fox ears prickle. guard duty ... was this a regular thing for him ? to always be on his guard ... never take a day off. they walked along a path to a more secluded spot away from those who stared at her. something he said brought her out of her thoughts. he wanted to take her shopping. it was sweet &. thoughtful , just like him to think of her desires. she stopped , tugging him back.  ❛     ryouta , i'm grateful but you don't have to do that.    ❜ her shoes clacked as she turned away from him , sighing with a sadness , ❛     you don't have to do things for my sake , you're on vacation. do something for you.    ❜ gazing over her shoulder , ❛     i don't want to feel as though you are only with me because of some obligation.    ❜ hand rubbed her arm even if he did not share the same feelings as her , she at least did not want to be treated as a job. ❛     i'm fine , so please treat me as a person not a client.    ❜ 

          She  observes  the  Foxian,  watches  her.  Then  smiles,  her  head  tilting  in  a  way  that  causes  her  hair  to  fall  from  her  face.  The  intricate  design  of  her  eyepatch,  a  glaring  gold  eye,  beaming  at  her.  "  You've  done  surprisingly  well  for  yourself,  Tingyun.  But...  If  you  need  a  better  salve  for  those  remnants  of  destruction-  I  could  certainly  provide  it  for  you.  "  a  small  huff,  a  laugh.  "  At  a  price,  of  course.  I  am  good  natured,  but  I  am  also  a  business  woman.  You  understand.  "

     the foxian eyed the mysterious aura surrounding the illusive wuya. secrets seemed to glare down from the darkness yet she felt safe in her presence. everyone had them , secrets that is so it was really no surprise wuya was this way. beautiful , elegant , &. always effortlessly dressed. a smile was brought forth to her features , lashes open &. shut as tingyun spoke , ❛     that's understandable , i would never swindle a fellow business woman.    ❜ mischief afoot , she fanned herself.  the remnants of destruction , it glared bright upon her shoulder. it had been a while since it was a topic of conversation. most avoided it like the plague for good reason. she was dangerous to those who knew , others who were ignorant ... were just being polite. it left a pretty but deep scar. a long nail gentled graced the curve of the flower , the pain a mere trifle to what she had to deal with at times. ❛     i trust your judgment , what will be effective against the pain &. heat ?    ❜ 

repost of a meme by moonpiehelps: mentions of panic attacks , vomiting , trauma , self harm , and distressing situations . Feel free to adjust as needed ! ♡ 

( 𝐑𝐔𝐁 ) ; one muse rubs the other’s back to comfort them while in a moment of distress.

( 𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐓 ) ; one muse grabs a bucket for the other who’s about to throw up. 

( 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐄 ) ; our muses share a bed so the other doesn’t have to be alone. 

( 𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 ) ; one muse calls the other a term of endearment to comfort them. 

( 𝐇𝐔𝐆 ) ; one muse holds the other close while they open up / cry.

( 𝐀𝐈𝐃 ) ; one muse runs to the others aid after they were violently hurt. 

( 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋 ) ; one muse calls sender late at night in tears and the other comes over to comfort them. 

( 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 ) ; one muse reaches out to the other after they’ve withdrawn from everyone. 

( 𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐂 ) ; one muse discovers the other during a panic attack. 

( 𝐍𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐄 ) ; one muse takes care of the other while they’re sick.

( 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃 ) ; one muse holds the other’s hand while they’re in pain or panicking. 

( 𝐂𝐔𝐃𝐃𝐋𝐄 ) ; one muse offers to cuddle with the other to help them sleep.

( 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐃𝐄 ) ; one muse opens up to the other about a traumatic experience. 

( 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄 ) ; one muse guides the other through a breathing technique.

( 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 ) ; one muse comes to the other with an injury they’ve been trying to hide that’s beginning to worry them.

( 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 ) ; one muse gently kisses the other while they’re crying.

( 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄 ) ; one muse helps the other into a bath/shower after a traumatic event. or they bathe together.

( 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐁 ) ; our muses instinctively grab each other while they’re scared.

( 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄 ) ; one muse gives the other a shoulder rub.

( 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃 ) ; one muse wipes blood off of the other.

( 𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐓 ) ; one muse shows up at the other’s doorstep in tears.

( 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 ) ; one muse has been missing and finally shows up, dirty and traumatized. the other helps clean them up and tries to get them to talk.

( 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐄 ) ; one muse wakes up the other after having a horrific nightmare.

( 𝐌𝐄𝐀𝐋 ) ; one muse makes the other a warm meal to make them feel better.

( 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄 ) ; one muse has been slowly deteriorating mentally/physically, the other takes it upon themselves to make sure they’re taken care of.

( 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄 ) ; one muse takes the other’s face ( cheeks , chin ) when trying to comfort them. 

( 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 ) ; one muse lets the other stay over when their house gets too stressful.

( 𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑 ) ; one muse sits outside the door to comfort the other who won’t let them in.

( 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 ) ; one muse stays over to make sure the other doesn’t hurt themselves.

( 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄 ) ; one muse strokes the others hair.

( 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐔𝐌𝐀 ) ; our muses sit together after a traumatic experience. 

( 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 ) ; one muse helps ground the other ( bonus if you specify how ) 

( 𝐈𝐂𝐄 ) ; one muse holds an ice pack to the other’s injury.

( 𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐏 ) ; our muses cry and hold each other after a traumatic experience. 

( 𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 ) ; one muse strides up to the other and suddenly embraces them tightly after experiencing something distressing. 

( 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑 ) ; one muse calms the terrified other.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ💋ɞ˚‧｡⋆ 𝐢'𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮

❝ you don’t have to say anything just let me stay with you. ❞

❝ i’m here, and i’m not going anywhere. ❞

❝ you’re not alone. not while i’m around. ❞

❝ want me to hold your hand for a while? ❞

❝ i noticed you’ve been quiet lately. do you want to talk or just sit together? ❞

❝ you don’t have to pretend around me. i see you. ❞

❝ even when it feels like no one cares i do. always. ❞

❝ i brought your favorite snacks and something soft to wear. ❞

❝ let’s watch something silly and forget the world for a while. ❞

❝ you don’t have to be strong for me. i’ve got you. ❞

❝ can i just hold you for a little while? ❞

❝ i don’t know the right words, but i’m not leaving. ❞

❝ take all the time you need i’ll still be right here. ❞

❝ you don’t have to carry this alone anymore. ❞

❝ your feelings are valid. every single one of them. ❞

❝ just rest. i’ll stay until you fall asleep. ❞

❝ even in silence, you matter to me. ❞

❝ let’s take it slow, okay? i’m with you. ❞

❝ you are so deeply loved even when you can’t feel it. ❞

❝ i see how hard you’re trying, and i’m so proud of you. ❞

❝ lean on me tonight. i’ll carry the heavy stuff for a while. ❞

❝ want to lay your head in my lap and breathe for a bit? ❞

❝ you don’t have to explain. i just want to make you feel safe. ❞

❝ no matter what your mind tells you you’re not a burden. ❞

❝ i can’t fix everything, but i can be here. and i am. ❞

❝ i’ll sit in the dark with you until you’re ready for the light again. ❞

❝ i don’t need you to be okay right now. i just need you to let me stay. ❞

❝ i’ll be the one who stays, even when it gets heavy. ❞

❝ i know it’s hard to ask for help. so don’t. i’m offering. ❞

❝ there’s nothing wrong with needing someone. i need you, too. ❞

❝ you don’t have to fix yourself to be worthy of love. ❞

❝ if it hurts, you can tell me. if you can’t speak, i’ll still stay. ❞

❝ you’ve made it through every hard day so far. and i’ll help you through this one. ❞

❝ i’m not scared of your sadness. you don’t scare me. ❞

❝ let me hold you until the world feels less loud. ❞

❝ we don’t need to talk. let me just be here with you. ❞

❝ your existence makes the world better, even when you feel like it doesn’t. ❞

❝ i love you. not in spite of your sadness, but including it. ❞

❝ i know you feel like no one sees you. but i do. i always do. ❞

❝ you mean more to me than you’ll ever know. ❞

❝ i’m not expecting a smile. i’m just staying close. ❞

❝ i know you’re hurting. i’ll keep showing up anyway. ❞

she's doing it again ... trying to prompt him to leave her side, and return to his affairs to indulge in being back home. ryouta knew good and well that this wasn't tingyun's attempt to push him away; she had a bad habit of trying to presume what she thought best for him or others. a noble quality, yet a reckless one. he frowns a bit when tinyun gently ushers him towards the door, earning her a small sigh in submission to her attempts. " alright, alright ... i'll take that as my sign you need your privacy. " he'll give her some grace, and take the time to prepare himself for their meet up later tonight. once he exits the room, ryouta flexes his arms to alleviate his tense muscles and quietly exhale ... remaining by the front of the door for a moment in silence. ( ... she'll be okay, right ? ) almost immediately, he tries to shake his thoughts off. he's overthinking it ... tingyun was safe and sound; well - guarded here in this inn, and knows the staff will treat her well. with enough self-assurance, he departs.

later that evening, as the sky gives way for the stars to come out through the veil that once kept them hidden away, ryouta returns to the inn, on his way to pick tingyun up for dinner they planned for earlier that day. dressed in something a little more casual; just a black button up with slacks. ( the restaurant he picked out was quaint and wasn't anything too fancy; something nice and simple for tingyun on her first day here. ) walking on his way through the halls, politely greeting the staff along the way, he makes it to the front of tingyun's doors. he gives it a knock. " ... tingyun ? you ready ? "

     fingertips fussed with her hair ,  hooking a brunette lock around a digit to ensure it fell into place properly. staring at herself in the mirror with her makeup done , she groaned collapsing against the counter in defeat , ❛     you're hopeless.    ❜ it wasn't like they hadn't had dinner together before or that ryouta ever looked at her as anything more than just another client. be rational tingyun ! this was his job &. he was a professional , gentlemanly , handsome , kind. no , no , no ! sighing she got up to admire her new dress. it shimmered quietly in the moonlight. she had gone out shopping early when she was left to her own devices &. inquired about something appropriate to wear to a dinner. the shop associates chose a pale pink dress decorated with with beaded plum blossoms. they giggled as she tried it on , insisting she get the matching hair accessories. it was pretty , something softer than what she usually would gravitate towards , simple yet refined.

     a knock startled her out of her dreams. it was that time already ? how time passed in agony. ❛     i'm - i'm ready !    ❜ she exited the room , not trying to look up at him knowing that she wore a blush. however , her gaze drifted over his clothing &. then up to his face. she could not help it. jade eyes darted away from his dark hues , feeling herself grow more hot.  he looked handsome &. effortless in more casual clothes. ❛     i hope this dress is alright , i was told it was the fashion here.    ❜ in the corner of her vision , she knew the staff members were hovering , they were too far to hear the whispers but she knew. there was nothing going on between them , he was just being courteous. foxian ears pressed downward a moment , nose breathed out a breath she held for far too long. this was just another dinner like all the others. swallowing down all her feelings , she finally had enough courage to to meet his eye , ❛     where are we off to , ryouta ?    ❜  hand took his arm as she had always done falling in beside him.