we take our places in the dark

One last night aboard The Revenge…

My Baldur's Gate 3 illustrations are up for preorder as prints and buttons (ends Dec 6th 🔥)

This shot makes me completely insane. Ed's wanted to bury the Kraken and Blackbeard for so long, but now he's literally and symbolically digging himself up from the depths, he's swimming all the way to the bottom on purpose to drag himself back out.

And he does it in part because he's just been told "If you were ever good at anything, go and do that", and then rowed himself back into a nightmare, ships burning everywhere, Stede missing, and British soldiers harassing him while he's barely coping with what he's seeing. Maybe at first this is about bringing the Kraken back out of anger and dissociation, but that's why what happens next is so important. Because whatever his motivations are in this moment, he's doing something. The last time he was underwater he was drowning and Stede's presence saved him, this time he's taking action and doing whatever he can to fight back. And anger is only part of that, has always only been part of what moves Ed to violence.

Blackbeard and the Kraken have always been fueled by love, and fear, and yes, rage against unjust situations that made Ed feel helpless and trapped, and then left him feeling even worse for fighting back. And that last bit is what changes this time around and allows Ed to reintegrate, because for the first time, he's not alone anymore to deal with the aftermath, he's not a kid without a family, he's not a man crying alone in secret in an empty room without anyone to console him.

After he digs himself up, he emerges fully dressed on the shore, Edward Teach literally reborn on a beach at last, leathers back on and determined to do whatever it takes to find Stede. And it's such a powerful shot: he's all in black against the white surf, dripping wet hair completely obscuring his features and trailing tentacle shaped rivulets of water in front of his face.

The next shot we see is his shadow self, his dark, blurry reflection on the sand. The only bit of Ed's actual body we get are his feet stepping determinedly on the wet sand, making his way back to land and to Stede and towards his full self (although he hasn't realized this last bit yet).

But it's not until he finds the soldiers reading Stede's letter -and this is such a lovely representation of how the core of the show is the relationship between these two men- that all the parts of him are finally able to integrate into a single person when Ed embraces the Kraken and Blackbeard and Ed as being of equal value. It's reading the adoring, unhesitating declaration of Stede's love that allows Ed to redefine himself, to see his darker parts in a different light, the light Stede has cast on his life.

He reads the letter, realizes the depth of Stede's love for him, understands he's really committed to Ed for good (in permanent ink), that he didn't push him away by showing him his trauma as he feared, that sharing the story he's never told anyone else about his first and worst act of violence didn't make Stede reject him, that Stede loves him and wants him in his life for good. He has a short cry about it while he reads and processes.

And then he roars "you wrote me a lovely letter" and charges. A lot has been said about how angry in love the line sounds, and yes, he is angry, angry that he almost lost Stede again, angry that the British soldiers would mock the letter, angry that they'd hurt Stede and that they'd think they can do whatever they want just because they have the power, think they can separate them again after everything they've been through.

Ed has been afraid of his anger for so long, made up a tale and a whole different persona to hide it behind, but his anger has always been born of love, of the need to keep his loved ones safe, of rage against abuse and injustice, and this is what he needed to be able to see in order to start healing.

He's in love, Stede's in danger, he needs his protection, and Ed offers it unflinchingly and doesn't hate himself for it this time, sees the part of him that is capable of killing not as monster but as loving protector at last. Because the British are abusing their entirely illegitimate authority, and the man he loves is in trouble and may even be dead, and this isn't even a question for Ed, he'll fight for him.

And once he's safe he'll drop his weapons at their feet to kiss him and tell him what he's finally become able to say: he loves him. He's maybe beginning not to hate himself, and he loves Stede. And Stede reaffirms what he wrote in the letter, tells him that he knows, that it isn't Ed-Blackbeard-Kraken that's a dick, but life.

Is this arc done? No, of course not. Healing happens in stops and starts, it takes a long time, and that's why DJ has said from the beginning that OFMD was always meant to be three seasons long; the last season is going to be all about Ed and Stede dealing with their issues so they can grow and heal. But they were always meant to do it together, because that's when they're strongest, that's when they're able to shed a light on the other's darkest bits and help him see them in a kinder, loving way.

This was an emotionally charged step in Ed's journey of growth and self acceptance, but the issue will probably come back up in the future, especially now that he and Stede are slowing down and taking time to process their mountains of trauma and everything they've been through in a very condensed amount of time.

s2: ed standing at the window with the cake topper in his hands, hastily tucking it into his jacket when izzy appears

This one is fun because it's such a smooth and well-written character development that it's actually really easy to miss what a big shift happens for Stede in the first three episodes of S2. But in E1, Stede is saying this about Ed

and in less than an hour of screentime, he's mostly caught up with what's actually been happening to Ed.

So how'd Stede figure that out? Get to know Ed better, despite being separate from him?

By letting go of ego.

Whenever physical danger is present, Ed's first instinct is to protect Stede. What I don't see discussed as much is this:

In this scene, Ned's insulting Ed. And Stede gets this look on his face as he steps forward protectively. This here is the moment Ned sealed his fate - the moment that he insulted Ed. Because there's a lot Stede's shown he could let go of, but insulting or mocking Ed...well...

But, both are protecting the other from the dangers they know - from the abuse they have first hand experience of.

Ed's father was a physically violent and abusive man - and Ed's not going to let anybody else go and hurt Stede like that. Ed knows how much it hurts and he's not going to let Stede experience it.

This shot makes me completely insane. Ed's wanted to bury the Kraken and Blackbeard for so long, but now he's literally and symbolically digging himself up from the depths, he's swimming all the way to the bottom on purpose to drag himself back out.

And he does it in part because he's just been told "If you were ever good at anything, go and do that", and then rowed himself back into a nightmare, ships burning everywhere, Stede missing, and British soldiers harassing him while he's barely coping with what he's seeing. Maybe at first this is about bringing the Kraken back out of anger and dissociation, but that's why what happens next is so important. Because whatever his motivations are in this moment, he's doing something. The last time he was underwater he was drowning and Stede's presence saved him, this time he's taking action and doing whatever he can to fight back. And anger is only part of that, has always only been part of what moves Ed to violence.

Blackbeard and the Kraken have always been fueled by love, and fear, and yes, rage against unjust situations that made Ed feel helpless and trapped, and then left him feeling even worse for fighting back. And that last bit is what changes this time around and allows Ed to reintegrate, because for the first time, he's not alone anymore to deal with the aftermath, he's not a kid without a family, he's not a man crying alone in secret in an empty room without anyone to console him.

After he digs himself up, he emerges fully dressed on the shore, Edward Teach literally reborn on a beach at last, leathers back on and determined to do whatever it takes to find Stede. And it's such a powerful shot: he's all in black against the white surf, dripping wet hair completely obscuring his features and trailing tentacle shaped rivulets of water in front of his face.

The next shot we see is his shadow self, his dark, blurry reflection on the sand. The only bit of Ed's actual body we get are his feet stepping determinedly on the wet sand, making his way back to land and to Stede and towards his full self (although he hasn't realized this last bit yet).

But it's not until he finds the soldiers reading Stede's letter -and this is such a lovely representation of how the core of the show is the relationship between these two men- that all the parts of him are finally able to integrate into a single person when Ed embraces the Kraken and Blackbeard and Ed as being of equal value. It's reading the adoring, unhesitating declaration of Stede's love that allows Ed to redefine himself, to see his darker parts in a different light, the light Stede has cast on his life.

He reads the letter, realizes the depth of Stede's love for him, understands he's really committed to Ed for good (in permanent ink), that he didn't push him away by showing him his trauma as he feared, that sharing the story he's never told anyone else about his first and worst act of violence didn't make Stede reject him, that Stede loves him and wants him in his life for good. He has a short cry about it while he reads and processes.

And then he roars "you wrote me a lovely letter" and charges. A lot has been said about how angry in love the line sounds, and yes, he is angry, angry that he almost lost Stede again, angry that the British soldiers would mock the letter, angry that they'd hurt Stede and that they'd think they can do whatever they want just because they have the power, think they can separate them again after everything they've been through.

Ed has been afraid of his anger for so long, made up a tale and a whole different persona to hide it behind, but his anger has always been born of love, of the need to keep his loved ones safe, of rage against abuse and injustice, and this is what he needed to be able to see in order to start healing.

He's in love, Stede's in danger, he needs his protection, and Ed offers it unflinchingly and doesn't hate himself for it this time, sees the part of him that is capable of killing not as monster but as loving protector at last. Because the British are abusing their entirely illegitimate authority, and the man he loves is in trouble and may even be dead, and this isn't even a question for Ed, he'll fight for him.

And once he's safe he'll drop his weapons at their feet to kiss him and tell him what he's finally become able to say: he loves him. He's maybe beginning not to hate himself, and he loves Stede. And Stede reaffirms what he wrote in the letter, tells him that he knows, that it isn't Ed-Blackbeard-Kraken that's a dick, but life.

Is this arc done? No, of course not. Healing happens in stops and starts, it takes a long time, and that's why DJ has said from the beginning that OFMD was always meant to be three seasons long; the last season is going to be all about Ed and Stede dealing with their issues so they can grow and heal. But they were always meant to do it together, because that's when they're strongest, that's when they're able to shed a light on the other's darkest bits and help him see them in a kinder, loving way.

This was an emotionally charged step in Ed's journey of growth and self acceptance, but the issue will probably come back up in the future, especially now that he and Stede are slowing down and taking time to process their mountains of trauma and everything they've been through in a very condensed amount of time.