a fool beyond gender @afoolbeyondgender - Tumblr Blog

Reblog to have something lgbt happen to you this summer

wait holy fuck i reblogged ages ago and something lgbt DID HAPPEN TO ME

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onceandfuturelesbian

WANT AD

position: wlw girlfriend

age: 18-22

requirements: kiss me pls

#just spreading word #good luck!!#lesbians #wlw

i wish i could hug a smilodon :((

#smilodon

i have gender envy for a PICREW CREATION

am i pathetic? yes.

STILL

link here go get yourself some gender envy of your own: https://picrew.me/image_maker/1473879

not my character maker

#picrew #gender envy #i find two eyes to be unsatisfactory i want ten #plus? sharp things?#sideways hair?#crystal necklaces?#i bet my thirteen year old self would cry if they found out i didn't look like this

the childhood fire post by @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses reminded me about how when i was babysitting my sister as a child she'd set so many things on fire when i was away for barely a few minutes so here is a complete list:

a poinsettia

an orange peel

a handful of raw spaghetti noodles

butter (or what was left of it, she burnt it in the microwave first and then set it on fire in the time it took me to go get something to clean the bowl with

the dying flowers my mother got for her birthday

paper towels (on two separate occasions)

toilet paper

paper

a dried out marker because one of her friends had told her you could get high off sharpie ink (which you can but not like that)

an apple-shaped candle that smelled bad when burnt and was really only for decoration purposes

a dollar

a fake flower pen topper

mini marshmallows (she wanted smores which i can't really blame her for)

three different sticks on separate occasions because she wanted to make a torch, which i also can't really blame her for

#SEVENTEEN TIMES #fire #siblings #sometimes i think she was just trying to get me in trouble

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biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

i am sick! and grumpy! and fully of mucus!!! and if anyone wants to buy me some ramen and/or tell me a story of humorously blundering childhood mishaps, that would be most pleasing indeed!

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

me: *asks for cute childhood stories*

tumblr: oh well there was that time i was a small child and lit myself on FIRE

platypusisnotonfire

I was going to be like “lol yep that’s tumblr” and then I remembered my contribution WAS a fire story.

afoolbeyondgender

the amount of times i had to babysit my sister as a child (who was only three years younger) and she set things on fire when i went to grab something or needed to go to the bathroom is honestly shocking

#it's SEVENTEEN #you think she would have LEARNED

two things:

1,

there is definitely some percy jackson type mythological shit going on there

2,

IT'S ABOUT DRIVE, IT'S ABOUT POWER, WE STAY HUNGRY-

https://www.pixilart.com/et-kid

why don't we just,, build above sandstorms? i looked it up and apparently they rarely get over fifty feet high but like every picture i've ever seen of a sandstorm is in a town/city/place with only one or two story buildings and? ??

it doesn't even have to be all fancy or whatever just a tall building with an especially reinforced bottom

idk it's confusing and i never claimed to be smart

#sandstorms #desert #cities #art #pixilart

afoolbeyondgender

reblog if you think sandcrabs have souls

#sandcrabs #sand crabs #sand-crabs #i made this post bc i couldn't decide but no one reblogged so i've decided that they must have souls out of spite #so i'm reblogging

you know when you're listening to music in the car but then people do the talking-mad thing and the confrontation is already Icky but it's more upsetting than normal either bc they are talking over the music or there are Too Many Noises or both but complaining would make you sound like an asshole so you stay quiet but they notice anyway and instead of asking you abt it they decide to turn the music off which is MORE upsetting bc yeah

#i'm not involved in your shit #let me mouth the words to whatever pop song is on from four years ago in the backseat in peace

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plaguedocboi

Alright was no one going to tell me that in the middle of the Nevada desert is an old cemetery that contains the bodies of a bunch of miners who died in a fire and next door is a haunted clown motel

Why are we still setting horror movies in generic Victorian houses in the woods when this is a real place in the world

afoolbeyondgender

there was this little town i went to once (in delaware i think) and one of the houses that a person actually lived in had a cemetery in the backyard but not one of the little five grave normal family cemeteries this house had at least thirty graves in the backyard with no fence or anything to separate it from the house and like imagine a horror movie that you think is gonna be a ghost movie because this family moves into the goddamn cemetery house but it turns out to be a movie about an obsessive serial killer who kills those who move into the house and buries them in their own backyard so when the cops show up just too late they unearth at least double the amount of bodies they're expecting to find and yeah that's just something i think about sometimes

#delaware

afoolbeyondgender

i wish i could eat my words. literally. skitter? acetone? malleable? munch munch motherfucker.

afoolbeyondgender

new game: send me a word and i'll decide if it's edible or not.

afoolbeyondgender

as requested from some of my non-tumblr friends:

moist- technically 'edible' but more like the non-toxic edible rather than edible edible. tastes like the overly mushy bit in the middle of a large cucumber.

skitter- very edible. it is the top layer only of one of those wafer cream things, and it tastes like it was made with cricket flour.

acetone- edible to some. it's like caffiene, technically poison but some of us can handle it, and it tastes like lemon soap and guilty tears.

malleable- edible, but not good for you. tastes very sweet, like marshmallow skin (my friend said i have to explain this is the outside of a marshmallow but i think you should all know that) and had the texture of that clay slime stuff.

#moist #skitter #acetone #the word please do not drink acetone the chemical #malleable #words

psikonauti

Vanessa Stockard (Australian, b.1975)

#they both look alarmed but in different ways #Vanessa Stockard #painting

happy last day of pride everybody!!

say goodbye to the lions <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

#pride #happy pride 🌈#pride month #lions

i don't like tagging so i only do it when i want to feel less like i am screaming into a dark abyss

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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never have i ever been stung by a bee and i sometimes think about how it'd be really cool if bees just granted me some sort of blanket protection because my grandpa's a beekeeper and i'm his eldest grandchild and he used to get stung a lot when he accidentally startled bees and he'd always get sad but not bc the bees hurt him or didn't like but bc one of his little baby bees was dying now and maybe the bees recognized that he cared for them and felt bad and therefore blessed me as an apology and the thing is i grew up around bees and i was a Grabby Brat okay so it's not like i haven't been stung out of lack of opportunity but it's not like any of this could actually be true so i guess i just have to live with the fact that i'm not blessed by the bee gods but at least ive never been stung by a bee

i don't understand people who like relish. oh what's that? oh you want a hot dog? okay, i can relate even though i realistically know i've probably eaten at least one entire child by way of these vague, disguised, frighteningly dubious fleshy meat tubes. oh you want a hot dog bun? mood, i will cram any bread-shape into my eating hole but something about the opening bread-shape is particularly pleasing. oh you're putting them together? that is a Socially Accepted Thing right there you are doing Socially Accepted Things how does it feel you Functional Human Being? oh you're putting ketchup on it? i applaud you for seeking out a way to counteract your obvious vinegar deficiency, self care is important. oh you're putting mustard on it? okay, i mean it's made of seeds i think and it's obnoxiously colored and since you put on both ketchup and mustard it looks like a cartoon or movie hot dog now good for you ig. oh. oh. oh you want SEWER CUCUMBER SAUCE ON IT? THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT??? THAT GREEN SLIME STUFF THAT LOOKS LIKE THE MUSHED CATERPILLARS FROM THE 2005 CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY MOVIE?

w H Y

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