Well.... not much right now given the fact he keeps forcing himself beyond his means.

@starsines

scraped knees,  silent tears in a locked room,  slamming doors,  pervasive loneliness,  a dog barking,  rain on a metal roof,  flinching at movement,  the creak of an old house,  forced laughter,  wandering in the dark woods,  wondering how you made it through,  sudden loss,  trying to make sense of the noise,  hiding what you love to protect it,  trying to explain but your words falter, invaded privacy,  confusion at the pain,  running barefoot in the grass,  wondering what you did wrong and coming up with nothing,  realizing you aren’t a priority,   grass stains on white clothing,  trying to earn love you will never have,  being threatened over the smallest mistake,  secrets you are warned not to share,  the feeling of never being good enough,  the hope things might someday get better,  grief that aches in your bones,  childish dares and pranks,  the sense that your body isn’t yours,  shame and guilt that aren’t yours to carry,  sledding down a frozen hill,  absentmindedly following snakes through the grass,  punching a tree until your knuckles bleed,  tears over every dead creature you find,  searching out small places you can hide… just in case,  climbing the tallest tree so they can’t touch you,  the feeling of something tainted under your skin,  a curious child told to stop asking,  floral dresses,  body tensing at approaching footsteps,  anger with nowhere to go,  brief escapes from the chaos,  the purr of a contented cat, taking the blame to keep the peace,  being told you’re too sensitive,  the creaking springs of a trampoline on a sunny day

"There will come a poet Whose weapon is His word He will slay you with His tongue" Loneliness. Strength. Joy. You are powerful, but struggle believing it. You think you're not enough. Here's the truth : you are. You sing songs and hope they carry faith, because you have run out if it, and yet you still throw your heart out to the world and hope it makes it through. You convince yourself that pain is art because at least then, you will always have something to create. You are tired of stumbling through life. You dream of a ground you can stand on. One day, you will dance. Your love is where you feel - without fear. Art : The Desperate Man, Gustave Courbet

❝  holly  is  waiting  for  us  two blocks down  with  a  taxi.  i'll  make  sure  you  aren't  followed.     ❞

been cheated on | been bullied | told a horrible lie | stolen something of value | overdosed on drugs | been drunk | passed out | cheated | bullied | punched someone in the face | been beaten up | broken a bone | been admitted to a hospital | had a near-death experience | been drugged | done drugs | smoked | kissed someone you weren’t attracted to | bled severely | killed someone | had an attempt on your life | made an attempt on your own life | lost someone | loved someone | gone without food for over three days | gone without sleep for over three days | been tortured | been slapped by a parent or higher up | been abused by someone who should have loved you | had a panic attack | been in a car accident | had sex | had sex with a stranger | passed out from pain | cried yourself to sleep | spent a whole day in bed | hurt yourself | taken your anger out on yourself | taken your anger out on someone you love | been used | felt used | used | been terrified | played a cruel game on someone | been dominant | been submissive | been forced to smile | been misgendered | felt too many things at once | laughed when you felt like crying

young dorian (basil) / older dorian

There is a distance not only between yourself and others, but between yourself and what you are expected to be, yourself and your own humanity. Your honest self feels too divorced from what it should be for it to have any place among everyone else. Your art is an expression of your estrangement from normalcy and other's expectations. It is strange and shocking because you feel that is what you are when you are not pretending to be otherwise. You do not create things to be pretty or pleasing to others, but to be raw and confusing. You have always felt different, so you want to create things that are remarkably different from the norm. It is an expression of your own strangeness, which seems to have no place but in your art. Your work is a sanctuary for everything that alienates you from the world at large.

murder / manslaughter / assault / robbery / breaking & entering / theft / embezzlement / money-laundering / kidnapping / torture / blackmail / arson / trespassing / treason / libel or slander / obstruction of justice / lying to law enforcement / creation of a weapon / espionage / riot / escape from lawful custody / contempt of court / public intoxication / conspiracy / accessory to a crime / harboring a fugitive / bribery / perjury under oath / resisting arrest / identity theft / corporate fraud / tax fraud / document forgery / destruction of evidence / assassination / counterfeiting / sale of a controlled substance / purchase of a controlled substance / failure to pay child support / hacking crimes / threat / pick-pocketing / shoplifting.

Perhaps  you  do  not  believe  what  you  are  doing  can  truly  be  classified  as  evil.  Perhaps  some  people  will  be  hurt  from  the  immediate  consequences  of  your  actions,  but  what  the  masses  fail  to  see  is  the  immense  good  that  will  come  of  your  plans.  Maybe  you  act  in  the  name  of  science,  or  for  your  people  who  have  fallen  on  great  tragedy.  Maybe  you  see  cracks  in  a  failing  system  and  want  to  uproot  it  through  chaotic,  destructive  means  to  avoid  greater  tragedy  down  the  line.  Maybe  you're  just  in  with  a  bad  crowd,  but  you  can't  leave  them,  no  matter  how  unsavory  their  intentions,  because  they're  your  only  ticket  to  your  ultimate  goals.  No  matter  what,  your  goals  are  noble,  and  you  take  no  joy  in  wreaking  havoc  or  hurting  those  in  your  way,  but  the  evils  you  partake  in  are  necessary.  If  you  need  to  play  the  bad  guy  to  ensure  a  better  future,  then  you  are  willing  to  play  that  part.

❝        truthfully,  i'm  glad  you  are  not  a  heroine.  it  must  come  to  be  such  a  shame  for  you,  since  i  enjoy  your  company  quite  a  bit  and  have  come  to  believe  you  deserve  something  better  than  that  treatment.  you're  something  more  to  being  a  chosen  one  or  a  rebel.  something  that  pushes  things  forward  rather  than  being  the  anchor.  better  than  a  damsel  in  distress  and  much  better  than  a  heroine,  i  assure  you.        ❞