Vanilla Sky

We see the same full moon tonight. The same silver light kisses you at night that kisses me, but where on this planet are you? My other magnet half, my compass is spinning. I feel your pull but I don’t know which way to go. You were the first bloom of my heart, the first dew of my eye. The first flower of the spring of my life. You caught me right as I broke my way through the freezing earth that was my heart before your burning touch. The first anchor in this strange second life, the first soul to tell mine that it isn’t not alone after all. A reminder that new life can be made. Where are you, my love at first sight? My moon river. Come back and colour me in again. Rock me like a wave to sleep, kiss me like it does the shore as it washes away all that was before it. Wash it away, help me forget. Let me sink back into your sea and live on your waves again.

I find it harder to remember every day. It scares me knowing that each day of life I get is another day further from you. I don’t want to forget you. I don’t want to take anything for granted again.

You left my life before the internet could keep you around. Before the algorithms could bring you back to me every day, before I could google your name, or hear your voice at the click of a mouse. You left before it all, leaving no trace for me to follow or check up on. It's like you knew had you waited a few years longer I would then spend the rest of my life looking up your name. My twin, my one and only sibling. I miss you so much today, on your birthday. It is on these days that my heart hurts the most from the absence of something that should so naturally be by my side my whole life. My perfect human being. You were a model son, husband, and brother. You were at the top of your class, the top of your company, and the top of the world as you brought us to this new, better world. You were everything they will never be. You were too good. You were too honest, too kind, too loving, too pure for this world. You just didn't have enough time to change it. I promise I will spend the rest of my life trying to do what you didn't have enough time to do.

Если б я знал, как это трудно - уснуть одному Если б я знал, что меня ждет, я бы вышел в окно А так - все идет, скучно в Москве и дождливо в Крыму И все хорошо, и эти двое уснули давно А так - все идет, скучно в Москве и дождливо в Крыму И все хорошо, и эти двое уснули давно