Welcome Back

hey dad, it’s day 2 since you entered your new life

Cant you believe im at work? They won’t let me take off but im trying my best. I thought you were gettting better after your surgery. You were able to talk again and move again. You were laughing and having fun times with us again. You were drinking wine (when you know you weren’t supposed to-.-) and beer, and coffee and all the other things. I know you wanted to enjoy the time you had left with us. But we didn’t know you’d be gone so soon. Wish you can give me a big ol hug again and call me “nak”. Wish I spent more time with you. I wish God gave you more time to be here but you are no longer in pain. You suffered so much since you were diagnosed with Chronic Kidney disease, you had to get dialysis every other day for the past 5 years. We had to see you go through many emotional and physical stages because of these things. But you know what, we love you much because even though you hid all of the pain and sadness, you supported us in everything we’ve done so far in our lives. Sometimes I feel angry at myself because I failed to realize how much of a great dad you were when I was younger. I regret the times I’ve ever disrespected you and hurt you in anyway. Now whenever I hear a kid call out for their dad, I think of the times we did that to you whenever we needed help, were hungry, wanted to tell you stuff, etc. when I used to do troll stuff at the house, you’d be the one laughing at me while mom gave me the stink eye. Or when you fall for the bait jokes you just say “shietttt” or “what the fuck Ren”. I’ll miss your laughs, smiles, and hugs the most. Also your stinky breath dude. There’s so many things to write but I’ll take a day at a time

a lot of things have happened the past two years since I actually “blogged”, many life changing experiences, challenges and predicaments buuuut

-I graduated with a 3.8/4.0 (kind of sad but it’s ok :() in my masters program (MA in counseling)

-moved in somewhere better and with a roommate (KEKW)

-streamed for awhile but had to stop due to adult responsibilities and irl stuff. I rly wish I could stay consistent with streaming, I miss it a lot everyday

-played for Guam’s first legit collegiate league team for one academic year and it was fun! Learned a lot of things and wished I could’ve done better but it’s fine.

-played in a local tournament with my boyfriend and our friends and actually got sponsored by the best korean fried chicken on island LMAO (was epic)

-got into playing music again as a side hobby; playing guitar

-started drawing again and making stickers!

-have been going to the gym 4-5 times a week since June 2021, nothing fancy just going to be healthy and maybe grow some muscle

-helping my boyfriend eat healthier and try to have better sleep habits ;-;as well as study habits (strict on this one cuz last sem he dropped two classes due to being overwhelmed)

-have been going out of my comfort zone and wearing cute clothes again when I’m with friends..idk I used to just wear oversized shirts and high waisted shorts all the time now I plan my outfits (reminds me of how I was in undergrad life) I guess my self confidence is improving thanks to my friends ans my boyfriend ;-; thank youu

-found out I have a passion for skincare and healthy eating habits, I would love to be an esthetician one day or maybe when I retire LOL

-thinking if I should start my doctoral studies next year…online college ..expensive…idk yet I do plan on studying aiming for a Ph.D in Educational Technology/leadership, Adolescent psych, or Creative Writing

-May work at a university :3 *fingers crossed*

Anyways just wanted to type this all down because I can’t sleep also here’s a grad pic

Thanks for those who’ve been following me since 10th grade LMAO which was…12 years ago Btw