Adrien Babineaux

If anyone has been experiencing any side effects from the recent Fundraiser, please reach out to the department and make a statement. Rest assured, no one will blame you if you’re experiencing psychedelic episodes unless you actually ingested illegal substances and are then trying to capitalize on recent events in which case you will be arrest- so please help us help you.

Ashkent Creek should be a safe haven, and I think I speak for us all when I say we want to get to the bottom of this and we need your help to do so.

What I wonder is whether this will discourage people from patrolling at night. 

adrien-babineaux  What are your Thanksgiving plans?

She can come over if you want.

I’m sure she’ll appreciate that.

It counts as a class one misdemeanor. Warning comes first, after that you’re looking at a two thousand five-hundred dollar fine and some jail time for the persistent stuff. Assuming they’re stupid enough to use a landline or their own cell.

One problem; then you’d have the Charmin bear after you. 

I can’t tell if you’re serious, but in that case you should get on that Not like you can do any worse than the other guy. Skeletor would even be an improvement.

Sounds fair to me.

My cats will take care of that bear.

I’m serious. Not that I would ever ask them for that kind of money.

That’s a ringing endorsement if ever I heard one.

People call in to ask what time it is or when a restaurant runs out of Ice Tea. 

Or they might throw it on trees in some sort of maypole tribute to the toilet paper gods. We could do that, but then there’d just be a black market in toilet paper, prohibition style. You’ve seen Black Friday, there’d be people brawling in the aisles. Mass hysteria, dogs and cats living together stuff. 

If you’ve got a couple million dollars lying around you could always run. It’d be fun.

Can’t they actually get arrested for putting in jeopardy other people for futile shit?

People could also make their own toilet paper, installing a new era of D.I.Y. and recycling which might save this country and this planet. I’m a god damn environmental genius.