The Antique

Feel like a failure and that I disappoint everyone around me. I haven’t gotten a full nights sleep in almost a month and my brain is going a mile a minute. I still can’t shake this wanting to die, even though I don’t want to be dead. I’m trying so hard to myself and work on myself, but I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I just want to sleep but I can’t even do that right. Sleeping medicine knocks me out for like ten minutes, and then it’s right back to being awake, it’s gotten to the point to where I am constantly dizzy and I feel like my panic attacks are getting bad again. I can’t afford the help I need and I am too anxious to do anything about it.

I'm a fuck up and I can't ever do anything right.

Like how do I tell people that I am too busy to hang out and that I'm not just ditching them to hang out with other people?

Angry doesn't even begin to describe it.

I'm a fucking mess right now

Through and through, there's always been you.

If there was an award for getting drunk by yourself and listening the same Kendrick Lamar song 4 times in a row in different live variations while crying I'm pretty sure I would get runner up.