Unorthodox • Empty Space

If, my dear, it seems that I have gone cold, know that I am always thinking of you; hoping and praying that we can continue on, growing together with your hand in mine.

One day it’s 12:27 am, and you’re sad. Not because of how life is treating you or anything, it’s just because you want someone next to you. Someone who at the end of the day will look at you and smile, asking what you want to have for dinner. You’ll realize that you are longing for love, a comfortable and simple love, one that gives you a reason to shut off the computer, and just have a conversation. You want a companion who will be there, who will be willing to give you space, and who will also keep you close. It’s hard because as you think, the clock slowly turns to 12:30 am, and you are just tired of trying, and you just want it to happen. But it will, and you’ll look back at these late nights, and smile; wishing you could tell your single self that it’s going to be okay, that all the “nos” were leading you to a beautiful yes. So, as it gets later, you just need to remember that your sadness will be replaced with an overwhelming gratitude that you are loved, and that will be better than all the missed opportunities, and made up dreams that you had.

The sun does not demand a plant to grow more quickly than it should, it simply shines and allows the plant to soak in the rays that it gives. So should our love be, never forcing but always radiating, allowing growth to happen in time.

7th November 2018, I tried to commit suicide.  The breeze was silent, the trees stared in disgrace, just me and a 3 lane road. A bus less than 100m away. 1 horn, “I can do it”. 2 horns, “I can do it”. 30m, a long held horn. I couldn’t do it, I’m sorry.